35 Signs of a Good Husband and Father.
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
Percentage of husband-wife households with own children under 18 years in the U.S. in 2018, by State.
Children living with single divorced parents, by age of child U.S. 2020. Source: Statista
On average, at least 50% of the population in the U.S. is a husband-wife household from a survey seen on Statista. Both parents need to be on top of their parenting and spousal duties to keep the family together, to avert the continued incidents of divorce which lead to the incomplete homes seen in the second chart. In this article, we deal with the husband and father-figure of the family. We will be discussing the role of a husband and father as well as the qualities of a good husband and father among other things.
What makes a good husband and father? 20 Qualities of a good husband and father.
Every man can be a father and husband, but not every man can be a great husband and amazing father. Being a great father and husband takes intentionality and consistency to build up those qualities of a good husband and father. It is only an amazing husband that will have the wife gushing to her friends with words like “my husband is wonderful” or “my man is the best”. And in the same vein, only an amazing father will be the boast of their children. If you think you are a good father and husband, check to see that you have these 20 attributes.
What makes a great husband? 14 Characteristics, qualities, attributes of a good husband.
You know you have a great husband if you see him display these 14 characteristics.
1. He is loving, caring, and treats you with respect.
A great husband does not talk down on his wife or treat her with disdain and disrespect. He is always loving and gentle towards her and treats and takes care of her just in the same way he would love and take care of himself.
Check out this related article on What to do when your husband doesn’t respect you.
2. He is a good support structure, dependable, and there when you need him.
When you need a shoulder to cry or lean on, he’s always there. You know without a shadow of a doubt that if you call on him to assist you with anything, he will readily do it without any hesitation, complaints, or excuses. Your husband is your rock and ever-dependable.
3. He is your number 1 fan/cheerleader.
No one cheers you on like him. He is there singing your praises at every work function or event. Every chance he gets, he wants everyone to know just how awesome, resourceful, and hardworking his wife and the mother of his children is. He is always bragging about you to everyone who cares to listen.
4. He is a good listener.
You know you have a great husband if he is the first person you talk to about anything, before even your girlfriends. This quality shows the depth of closeness and love between you and your husband because men generally have to work harder at being great listeners. And if your husband is a great listener then know you have yourself a wonderful husband.
5. He is intuitive and sensitive to your dispositions.
This is another amazing quality of a great husband and goes hand-in-hand with being a great listener. He is ever intuitive and aware of his wife’s dispositions. He can tell if she’s okay or not just by looking at her body language and paying attention to the tone of her voice.
6. He knows you inside out – what makes you tick and what gets you worked up.
A great husband knows your passions. He knows what makes you tick and what gets you upset. He knows your hobbies, interests, likes, and dislikes. And even if he doesn’t know all of them yet, he is willing to keep discovering them every day with you because he loves you and is committed to making your marriage a happy loving one.
7. He is a passionate lover.
When it comes to love and romance, he keeps things exciting and interesting. He goes with your flow and isn’t averse to learning new things in the bedroom with you. He is willing to keep things fresh and exciting when it comes to intimacy and love.
8. He is interested in your personal growth and development.
Your wonderful husband isn’t self-centered and self-absorbed. He is always asking after your goals, aspirations, and ambitions and is ever willing to support them. You know that you can count on him to help you towards being a better you every time.
9. He does not smolder you and allows you to be your person.
An amazing husband understands that his wife’s identity is not somehow tied solely to him. He understands that she is her person and has her voice and personality, and he respects that. He does not smolder her and allows her space for some alone time.
10. He is financially responsible and provides for you and the kids.
A great husband is financially responsible and takes charge of providing for the family. He does not take on debts that would affect the family or take financially reckless decisions that would be prejudicial to the welfare of his family.
11. He is loyal, honest, and faithful.
A great husband does not lie to his wife and is faithful to her. Infidelity is the last thing he would be caught doing.
This is not to say that he would never get tempted. Of course, he would get tempted because he is a human being. But what sets him apart from the cheating husband who is a jerk is that he can control himself and stay faithful to his wife because of the love he has for her and his commitment to their marriage.
12. He does not disagree with you in public and presents a united front outside.
An amazing husband knows better than to have a heated argument in public with his wife. He understands the importance of always presenting a united front when in public because he does not want to embarrass and humiliate his wife. Whatever disagreement he may have with what the wife is doing in public, he waits until they are in the privacy of their home to thrash it out.
13. He defends you in public.
Your husband is a great husband if he is always ready to take up arms in your defense in public. Everyone knows that they dare not say anything against you or they will have him to deal with. You have no shadow of doubt in your mind that come what may, your husband is always your number 1 defender in public.
14. He includes you in the decision-making process at home.
You don’t feel left out of important family decisions. You feel very much like a part of building your home because your husband makes it a point to seek your input before making any decision. Even if he may not always adopt your views, he will always ask for your counsel and listen to what you have to say.
What makes a great father? 6 Signs of a good father.
For you to say “my husband is the best dad”, he has to have shown these 6 signs of a good father.
15. He is there for the children.
Your children don’t feel neglected by their dad because he is always there for them when they need him. He attends their baseball practices and any other functions at school and they know they can count on him whenever they need him.
16. He spends time with his children and wants to understand each one of them.
Yes, he may be busy with work and the likes, but that does not stand in the way of his making an effort to spend equal time with all his children. And not only does he spend time with them, but he is also striving to get to know and understand them better. And where he does not understand how to deal with any of the children, he asks for your views because he knows that you would know better as their mom.
17. He teaches his sons how to grow up to be men of caliber and timber.
A great father knows that he has a lot of work to do in ensuring that his sons grow up to be honorable and quality men in society. He teaches his sons how to be a good man and treat everyone around him right, especially women. He plays this active role by watching his sons and how they interact and relate with their sisters and his wife, their mother. And he is quick to correct and discipline them to ensure that they grow up to be men of caliber.
18. He treats his daughters like princesses so that they have enough love at home and don’t need to look outside for it.
A great father also knows that he should treat his daughter like a princess so that she does not settle for a man that would treat her less than the princess that she is. He takes her out on daddy-daughter dates and always affirms her worth and beauty to her.
Some studies have shown that women who end up with abusive partners lacked a good father figure in their lives when growing up. As a result, they tend to subconsciously look for their absent fathers in the men they end up with and the void created by this need causes some of them to stay on in the relationship even when it is unhealthy for them. And thus, the great father looks after his daughter to ensure that this does not happen.
19. He models what a good husband is to his children in the way he treats his wife.
His children already have the prototype of what a great husband looks like just by observing their awesome dad. And because they know what a great husband looks like, his sons will model the same thing and strive to be better and his daughters will know not to settle for less when it comes to a loving husband.
20. He treats all his children equally and with love and respect.
He does not pit his children against each other and he does not make a show of having a favorite among his children. All his children feel equally loved and cherished because that is how he is towards them.
4 Roles/Responsibilities of a husband and father.
A wonderful husband and father will not take these 4 responsibilities/functions lightly.
21. To be there for his family at all times.
A responsible father and husband is not an absent father or husband. When he is needed by both his wife or his children, he is always there. He can be counted upon and dependable when needed.
22. To be financially responsible and provide for his family.
He is a provider and takes financially beneficial decisions that would help the family. He would not for example take risky investment decisions where the family has only one stream of income and he would ensure that his wife is a crucial part of any financial decisions he makes.
23. To protect his family.
A great father and husband know that this is one of his sole responsibility. His wife and children should feel a sense of security with him around and he should do all that is within his power to engender this sense of security.
24. To show unconditional love and care to his family.
A great father and husband take good care of his wife and children. They are not in doubt about how much he loves the family and every one of them.
How to become a better husband and father – 11 Helpful steps.
If you are a husband and feel that you are lacking in any of the attributes and responsibilities listed above, it is never too late to change for the better. It is also not too difficult to change. All it requires is to take positive action in the direction of the 24 attributes listed above. To help you take those steps, doing these 11 things will help you become a better husband and father that has the 24 characteristics listed above.
25. Always affirm your love for your wife and children.
Always tell your children you love them unconditionally. The same goes for your wife too. And more than telling them, also show them every day through your actions that you love them very much.
Read this article on 19 Signs your husband loves you deeply for ways to show deep love to your wife.
26. Don’t shy away from resolving conflicts in the family when they arise.
This is another sure way of working towards becoming a great husband and father. When issues arise at home, don’t shut down or sweep them under the rug hoping they will go away. This will only heighten the tension in the home and make it an uncomfortable and unbearable environment to be in.
27. Don’t take sides when your children fight but objectively and dispassionately resolve the conflicts that they may have.
Hear them out and try as much as possible to be an unbiased umpire. If you pick sides you would make some of your children feel that you don’t love them as much as their sibling whose side you picked. To avoid picking sides, you can ask them both to not go anywhere and stay put until they resolve their differences.
28. Don’t have favorites among your children.
This is one mistake that parents, including fathers, make. And this only serves to bring acrimony and unnecessary tension in the home. Do not have favorites and even if you do, let it not be so obvious to your children that you have a favorite. All your children must feel equally loved by you.
29. Do not fight with your wife in front of the kids.
A loving and respectful husband knows that this is one rule that must never be broken. It is wrong and disrespectful of both your wife and the kids to fight with your wife in the presence of the kids. This will also make your children resent you. Regardless of how you may feel about what you think your wife did wrong, wait until you are in the privacy of your room and then talk about it.
30. Affirm and compliment your wife in front of your children.
This is important in showing the children that there is mutual love and respect between you and their mother. It also provides a good example for them to emulate.
31. Help out your wife as much as you possibly can.
As much as possible, assist your wife at home. Being a mom can be daunting especially if you have more than one child and the kids are all still very young.
32. Have date nights regularly with your wife.
This helps to keep the flames of love and passion burning ever so brightly. If you want to be a great husband to your wife, then you know that love and romance must never be missing from the equation of your marriage. Whether it’s a regular lunch or dinner date, or a romantic picnic in a park, always find creative and fun ways to have regular dates with your wife. Our articles on Ideas for a romantic night in a hotel and Romantic evening ideas for married couples can help you with some ideas.
33. Keep things hot and steamy in the bedroom with your wife.
Sex is as important in your marriage as it was when you were dating her. Never let the fire fizzle out in the bedroom. Keep things exciting and steamy and be open to trying out new ideas with your wife in the bedroom. She will find your sense of adventure refreshing and thrilling.
34. Take your daughter(s) out on dates.
This is a great way of showing your daughter that she is loved and valued. Taking your daughter out on dates would also help in not making her fall prey to just about any man because he took her out on a date. She would know that going on dates is no big deal because her daddy spoils her on dates often and dates are no reason to give in to a man even when he is a jerk.
35. Spend quality time with your sons doing the things they love doing.
This is also important. It shows your son that you love him and are interested in his life. If he loves playing baseball or basketball, you can learn to play too or ensure that you attend as many of his basketball games and practices as possible.
Frequently asked questions.
1. Is being a righteous husband and father a good thing?
Yes, it is a wonderful thing to be a righteous husband and father because it means you will always run your family in the way of righteousness and do what is right.
2. Will he be a good dad?
If he is showing the 35 characteristics listed in this article, then yes, he will be a good dad. But if his actions are the opposite of the characteristics in this article, then he will not be a good dad.
3. Who is a good father?
A good father is a dad who displays all the characteristics and signs of a good father listed in this article.
4. How do I know if I have a narcissistic husband and father?
Narcissistic husbands and fathers tend to be very self-centered. They only see their children as extensions of themselves rather than the independent persons they are. Everything is about him and he does not care about his wife and children. He only cares about them if it serves his selfish interest. In short, the narcissistic husband and father are the polar opposite of the qualities of the great husband and father listed in this article.
5. What is the role of a husband and father?
Every father and husband should play the 4 critical roles listed in this article. Check them out once again and be sure that he is playing these roles.
6. How do you know if you are a great dad?
You are a good and amazing father if you display the 35 characteristics listed in this article.
7. What makes a great father?
Being a great father comes with practice and intentionality in your actions towards your wife and children. And if you can inculcate the 35 attributes listed in this article, then you are well on your way to being a great father.
A great husband and father will leave no doubt about his awesomeness. His wife and children can tell that he is a great husband and father because he will consistently display the 35 characteristics listed in this article. And even if as a husband and father you are lacking in one or more of these characteristics, you can start today to work on making them a part of who you are as a husband and father.
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