When it comes to saving a relationship, actions most definitely speak louder than words. What is also true, however, is that actions coming after words are much more effective. This is why your first step should be to find things to say to save a relationship because these would then provide you with a rudimentary plan of action.
Relationships are like the life of a human – they are born, they grow and they get sick. Sometimes the illness can be so severe that if not treated, they will die. This is true for even the strongest of relationships which is why the true test of a relationship is not whether it gets into problems, but rather how it overcomes them.
The point is, don’t get too hung on the problems the relationship is facing because even the best of us have fallen. You should instead focus on getting back on the horse and trying to win your relationship back.
As we said, words are the first step in doing this so we will talk about some things to say to fix a relationship that can at least give you a lifeline. After that, you have to do the work involved to save it.
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1. I am sorry.
This is one of the most important things to say to save a relationship when you are the reason that the relationship is going downhill. Even though they seem so simple, these are some very powerful words to say to a man or woman that convey that you are willing to set aside your pride for the sake of the relationship.
Studies have shown that saying sorry to your partner can lead to more trust in the relationship owing to your partner knowing that you care about the relationship. A piece of advice concerning this; apologize for specific instances or for specific things that you do so that your apology appears more genuine. For instance, “I am sorry I don’t give you enough of my time” and “I am sorry I don’t listen to you.”
2. I love you
This is definitely one of the top quotes to save a relationship because there aren’t too many people that don’t want to know how their partner feels about them. Sometimes we get so familiar with our partners that we begin to take this phrase for granted – we shorten it, say it as a by the way thing, and sometimes don’t even look at our partners as we do so.
You want to know what to say to fix a relationship? The answer is to hold your partner, look deeply into their eyes and tell them that you love them. The great thing about this phrase is that there are several ways to say it or things to add to make it more meaningful and funny. You could, for instance, talk about how you love certain attributes of them. This would show that you not only appreciate your partner but that you pay attention to them as well.
3. It was my fault
Taking responsibility in a relationship for wrongs you might have committed is quite underrated. Most people know that when it comes to what to say when you messed up in a relationship, taking responsibility is key yet our pride sometimes comes in the way of that.
A common scenario that plays out is that we find a way to twist things around such that we take some of the blame whilst throwing the rest to our partner by saying that something they did led to what you did. For instance, “I only flirted with him because you don’t show me enough interest.” Sir/ Ma’am, that is a no-no.
Much like an unconditional surrender, take responsibility when you messed up. Don’t try to deflect or project blame as this is the only way to fix a struggling relationship that only got that way because you steadily refuse to take any responsibility. Acknowledging that you messed up when you do allows for better communication which is paramount in helping a relationship grow and thrive.
4. I appreciate you/ Thank you
Being in a relationship comes with responsibilities towards your partner and them towards you. How often have you shown appreciation for the things they do to make your life easier? We ask because people in long-term relationships get so used to things being done for them that they take it for granted and this shouldn’t be the case.
Showing appreciation is very powerful and can help you along in the process of trying to fix a dead relationship. Tell your partner that you are thankful for all they do for you – for the big things and the small and for those things they do without telling you. Use specific instances if you can as this gets you bonus points.
5. I will make time for you
There’s no point in being in a relationship if you aren’t going to give your partner time. We understand that the world today demands a lot from people and keeps them quite busy but you should endeavor to make time for your partner as time spent together strengthens the relationship. How else will you fix problems in a relationship if you don’t get together with your partner to do so?
Luckily there are so many things to do as a couple these days. You can start from the most basic such as dates and watching movies together, going to events, engaging in outdoor activities, or even taking a class together. All these are things you can suggest to your partner to rekindle your passion and fix a failed relationship.
6. I will open up more
You don’t need experts to tell you that not opening up to your partner about things affecting you is detrimental to the survival of a relationship. When you don’t open up, it sends a message that you either don’t trust them enough to talk to them or you don’t think they are important enough in your life to know what you are going through.
If you aren’t the type to let your feelings out, it most likely is affecting your relationship. In your case, when it comes to what to say to save a relationship, tell your partner that you are willing to talk to them more about your life. This opens the door to healthy communication which is important in a relationship.
7. I will listen to you
A very widespread problem in relationships is that people don’t listen enough to their partners to understand what they are saying. This is especially prevalent in long-term relationships where partners might only listen half-heartedly or worse still, only listen to defend themselves.
The damage that this does to relationships is immense because your partner will feel neglected emotionally. To avoid that, talk to your partner and ask them what needs fixing and how you can go about it. Also, tell them that you will compromise on certain issues and then actually follow up on this. Men are usually the offending party in this regard which makes this an excellent thing to say to your girlfriend after a fight as well.
8. I will work on myself
Another one of the things to say to save a relationship is that you will practice self-improvement to target those traits that may be threatening the stability of the relationship. Indeed, a survey by Ex Back Permanently showed that most exes got back together when self-improvement was observed in their partner.
If it can work for relationships that ended, it can most definitely work for those that aren’t dead yet.
Related article: Things you shouldn’t do in a relationship.
9. You have some negative characteristics but…
The problem will not always be from you, it will sometimes be from your partner. When that happens but you still want to save the relationship, it helps to remind yourself why you still want to be with that person. Tell yourself that even though they have certain negative characteristics, they still have some positive ones that you love.
By looking at it this way, you can fix a broken relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend by using it to gain the will to fight for your relationship. After this will is gained, you can then look into other ways of saving the relationship.
10. Please give me a chance to prove I can be trusted again
Sometimes we might mess up so badly in a relationship that the trust our partner has in us will take a deep nosedive. In such a situation, you should not push them to trust as trust is a very difficult thing to reacquire when lost.
Tell your partner that you are willing to do what it takes to get them to trust you again. That you will be patient and will not push them to trust you immediately. There isn’t much else to do to fix a relationship you ruined by breaking the trust.
11. I will get help or We should get help
Sometimes the problem in the relationship is so deeply psychological that we cannot fix it on our own. In such cases you don’t need to give a whole paragraph to fix a relationship, you just need to tell your partner, “Look, these problems are ruining our relationship and I don’t think we/I can fix it on our own so let’s get some help.”
When it comes to what to say in a relationship to save it, some look at therapy with disdain. This shouldn’t be the case because just as we go to doctors when we are sick, a sick relationship requires a relationship doctor – relationship therapist – as well.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do you save a broken relationship?
- Talk with your partner to see if they want to save the relationship as well
- When conflict arises, try to de-escalate and resolve it as soon as possible
- Talk to your partner and listen to what they are saying to understand them not to react
- Think back to the happier times, this will remind you of what you are fighting for
- Take responsibility when you mess up
- Make time to spend with your partner
2. How do you rebuild a relationship?
- Engage in activities together
- Be more open with your partner and encourage them to do the same
- Be more physical with each other – hugs, holding hands, sexual intimacy
- Do the little things like asking your partner about their day and surprising them with small gifts, snacks, etc
- Put more effort into the relationship
- Set rules about conflict resolution going forward
3. How do I save my relationship?
- Be more appreciative of your partner and the things they do
- Spend more time together – go on dates, do outdoor activities, read together, attend a class together, and go to events.
- Come up with communication rules and strategies that govern your relationship fights
- Put more affection and effort into the relationship
- Be more physical with your partner, for instance, hugs and kisses.
Most of the advice given here is for when you were in the wrong and so have more of a responsibility to save the relationship. If you were not in the wrong, you should ask yourself if you still want to be in the relationship and if you do, you should be open to accepting the efforts of your partner by making it easier for them to win you back.
You should not be the one pursuing if you were not in the wrong as this would send a negative message to your partner that they are free to wrong you because you would not only get over it but try to appease them as well.
Regardless of if you were in the wrong or not, there should be efforts from your partner to reconcile because for one to fix a broken relationship, the efforts of both partners are needed. If you find that you are the only one putting in the effort to fix a bad relationship, you should seriously consider if it would be wise to keep fighting for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for.
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