3 Simple Ways on How to Ask a Guy What He Wants from You

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Human relationships are hard. They are all about commitment, understanding, and compromise. That’s not, however, what scares people the most but the fear of the unknown, of not knowing where you stand with the person. When you start going out with someone, the first couple of weeks feel like in seventh heaven. You’re going out on dates, sharing romantic moments and things from your life. It’s a carefree period when you get to enjoy so much that you don’t even think about the Relationship Talk. But the time comes when you start thinking about where are the things going and whether you want the same things. It’s inevitable if you like the person a lot, and you see a future with him.

At that point, it becomes crucial to ask him whether he shares your thoughts about your relationship or not. Most people, however, have difficulties asking that question, which is perfectly normal. You’re having a great time together, and you’re scared that you’ll ruin that. Or you fear he wants completely different things from you. Whatever the reason is, asking a guy where your relationship is going can be rather challenging. For that reason, we tried to break things down for you and give you several ideas on how to ask a guy what he wants from you.

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First things first, there are some things you should keep in mind before you ask any sorts of questions. This part is mostly related to your personal needs and desires, and you shouldn’t skip it. Once you read it through, you’ll be more certain about the things you want, and better prepared to ask a big question to your partner. Let’s go through them together:

Be Sure About What You Want

Before you ask any person in your life what they want from you, you should first be sure about what you want from her or him. You can’t discuss any given topic without knowing where you stand personally. Therefore, ask yourself what you want, and then you’ll be able to confront a particular person about your relationship type.

Always Go with the Direct Approach

If you want to find out what somebody wants from you, ask a direct question. Only that way, you’ll get a straight and honest answer. People feel more comfortable with dodging questions, and you want to avoid that. There’s nothing worse than having to think over and over again about the answer you got and trying to figure out what a person meant by saying it.

Be Prepared to Hear a Negative Answer

Life is not always rainbows and butterflies, and you might get an answer you’re not going to like at all. It’s just how it is, people often want and aim for different things in their lives and relationships. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you know where you stand. Regardless of the answer you get, you should follow your heart and stand behind your personal opinion. If the person doesn’t agree with you, don’t worry, you’ll find a way to cope with it.

Remember and Revise First-Date Talks

What do you want from life, partners, and other people around you are only some of the important questions to ask a guy on a first date. Most of the time, women avoid these questions as they are convinced about being too pushy when asking them. The real truth is that there’s nothing wrong with asking a guy about his opinion on romantic relationships. Naturally, you want to find out more about him and whether you share the same views. In the end, it’s understandable that you want to avoid and prevent a possible heartbreak. Sometimes, even the first date can tell you whether you’re wasting your time, emotions, and effort, or not.

Now, it often happens that this type of talk occurs and then gets forgotten. You maybe went on a perfect date, get a couple of drinks, enjoyed a romantic walk in the night. Then you get out together, danced, ate lunch, and you completely forgot about the talk you had and whether you’re ok with it. Once you start asking yourself where the relationship is going, you can’t remember his reflections on the topic anymore, and you have to ask again. At this point, you should try to remember all the talks you had about the particular topic. It should help you prepare yourself for the actual talk and give you some hints on how to ask a guy what his intentions are.

Ask Him Directly

A direct approach is always the best one, although maybe it seems a little intimidating. Don’t let the fear take over. If you want to ask a guy where your relationship is heading, you should do it. You’re not being “too demanding” or anything similar, often told by men. It’s completely ok if you want to find out whether you are on the same side regarding your relationship. Don’t be ashamed of asking directly any questions you have, and most certainly don’t be ashamed of wanting more than other people.

Here are some of the most common questions women find hard to answer regarding romantic relationships. We tried to give you some answers and tips on how to overcome them.

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How to ask a guy how he feels about you?

So, you’re not into all that thing of having a serious talk about your relationship, but you still want to know how your boyfriend feels about you. That is completely fine. There are several ways you can ask a guy how he feels about you. Some of them are direct, while others are more subtle.

You probably don’t need our help with the direct one. Sit down with him, tell him how you feel, and ask whether he feels the same or not. It might seem a little scary at first, but it’s quite simple, and he’ll have to give you an honest answer.

For a more subtle approach, try showing him know how much he means to you. You can try with getting Meaningful Gifts For Him. It always works, especially with cards and love notes. For more guidance on the topic, you can look at our Guide On How to Surprise your Boyfriend for No Reason.

How to ask a guy what he is looking for?

There’s no special intro or text you should memorize when asking this question. You don’t need to wrap up words in a nice paper for him. He’s a grown-up, and he can take it. If he can’t, that also tells you something, right? 

You can take care of other things instead of worrying about how to ask the question. Make sure to calm yourself down and reduce all the stress regarding the topic. If you’re too anxious about the entire thing, the conversation can go wrong and you two can misunderstand each other. Don’t let this happen because you might be on the same page. Talk to your boyfriend honestly, and everything will be just fine.

How to ask a guy where you stand over text?

It’s mostly the same as it is when doing it in person, with a few little adjustments. Make sure not to bump the question in the middle of the conversation. It could be weird getting a text “What do you want from our relationship?” all out of a sudden. He might get confused, not sure what to respond, or even worried about this thing bothering you too much (because you just had to interrupt the previous topic to ask the big question, you know). Make some kind of an introduction into the conversation and then slowly move on to the question you’re interested in.

Express Your Needs and Wishes

We are maybe to repeat some things in this section, but this stuff is very important. Before you even start with the big talk, you need to know what you want from your boyfriend. Of course, if you don’t know it already. Remember, it’s natural to want more and to want a serious relationship, even if your partner doesn’t want to have one. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. We hear a lot of people saying that women can be too demanding or needy, but that’s not true. Everybody has the right to have a personal opinion, and it applies to both men and women.

Therefore, if you want something from a relationship, talk to your boyfriend about it. Be completely honest and open about the topic. Yes, only the thought about him not wanting the same thing is painful, but you have to face it for your good. Otherwise, you’ll be investing your time and emotions in a relationship that doesn’t have any future. In that case, the heartbreak will be even worse.

Layout your desires and give him some time to think about it, if he doesn’t have an answer right away. Make sure he understands that you don’t want to push things too much and that you’re not expecting anything right away. Men can get quite confused and anxious about these things, so you want to make sure he got it all in the way you wanted.

In the end, even if he doesn’t respond in the way you want, it’s essential to remember all the things you wanted before the very talk. With the situation going emotional, you might forget about your personal needs at the moment and agree on the relationship you don’t want to have. Therefore, don’t forget about what you want and stand behind it. You have all the right in the world to have a personal opinion. If that means things between you won’t be able to work out, it’s too bad, but you’ll find someone with whom it will!

Final Thoughts

How to ask a guy where this is going is one of the most common questions about relationships we here these days. It’s blurry whether women or men make a bigger deal out of it. The truth is probably somewhere in between, where we all play a part in making things more complicated than they already are. Sometimes, things are way simpler than we imagine, it’s just hard to see it because of all that stress and anxiety about not doing things right.

The most common mistake we all make in our relationships is to avoid talking about things, not only problems but the stuff in general. We should spend more time reflecting on our lives and sharing our thoughts. This way, there wouldn’t be any room for misunderstandings, and things would become much easier. Besides, isn’t that a point of a romantic relationship? Sharing lives, being close to your partner, and enjoying the fact that you have someone with whom you can talk about everything?

Therefore, our ultimate advice on the topic would be to talk to your partner and be honest about the things you want. Don’t be afraid to ask whatever you want to know, as it’s the only way things will be true and the way they should be. Commitment, compromise, and mutual respect are behind every successful relationship. If you want to achieve that, you should be completely open about your desires and get to know your partner’s wishes too.  We hope our guide on how to ask a guy what he wants from you gave you some useful tips and ideas on how to deal with the topic.

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