Ask every girl out there what she wants, and 90% of the time, she’ll say “ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason.” Women are forever combing through magazines, asking her friends for tips, and even reading the occasional article on a dating website for ways to keep the spark going. If that sounds like you, then it’s a safe bet that you’ve thought of or tried dozens of things to keep the relationship with your boyfriend interesting and fresh. One can even bet that you’ve gone to great lengths to surprise him on those dreary days. Remember that gift you got him for no reason, other than it felt like the right thing to do?
That’s what relationships are all about. They’re all about surprising him even if it’s not his birthday or your anniversary. It’s about doing random things that remind a couple why they first fell in love.
But truth be told, coming up with a surprise gift or party just because you felt like it is tough. It’s like trying to climb Mount Everest just for kicks and not that it was on your bucket list. Yep, doing something at the spur of the moment is often hard. If you haven’t planned for it, most likely indecision will lead you to inaction.
It’s a lot easier to plan for sweet surprise for your boyfriend on his birthday than to wake up on a random Monday morning and surprise him. And the problem seems to be primarily tied to our psychology.
This is what makes it So Hard to Surprise Your Boyfriend for No Reason
1. Being Too Engrossed on What You Want
When we get into a relationship, and this happens to both men and women, we are so engrossed with what we want in our partner that we forget what they want. It’s like being part of a team and always thinking what the team can do for you and not what you can do for the team.
According to psychologists, the single-most biggest barrier to surprising your boyfriend stems from the fact that you’re too absorbed with what you’re not getting from him. When you’re reading up on sweet ways to surprise your boyfriend, your brain gets engrossed with what he’s not doing for you that you lose the plot of the story. You jump looking into how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason to “he only gets me flowers on my birthday.”
That doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist. Everyone tends to focus on themselves when it comes to most aspects of life. According to researchers, we are prone to act in ways that most benefit us. That’s the basis of the prisoner’s dilemma. Folks, even when bonded by love, might not cooperate as much as they should. In some circumstances, they’ll act in their best interest.
That explains why more women, compared to men, read fiction online. Women are looking for feel-good literature that’ll make them fill the gap they might be feeling in their relationships. Fiction helps people understand and experience new things and settings. In a way, fiction is what many women turn to try and understand their settings people around them. It provides the perfect escape from relationships where a woman feels unfulfilled. At the same time, it denies you the opportunity to better know your partner and make it a lot easier to find ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason.
It seems then that the first thing you’ll need to do if you’re to come up with fun and endearing ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason is taking a step back and asking what you can do for him instead of asking what he can be doing for you.
2. Lack of Time
Another thing keeping you from finding ways of how to surprise my boyfriend for no reason long distance is time.
If you’re working like crazy and you feel that you don’t have time for one more thing, be it exercising, tending to your hobbies, or catching up with friends, chances are that you’ll find it extremely hard to surprise your boyfriend for no reason.
Surprising him becomes that much harder if you’re in a long-distance relationship. The thing with long-distance relationships is, you don’t get to see each other. That means your relationship with him doesn’t benefit from the constant interaction needed to learn each other. When you don’t learn each other, you have no idea what makes him happy and what doesn’t. That’s why long-distance and relationships where you hardly get to see each other can feel like driving stick when you’re used to driving an automatic. You don’t know what works and what doesn’t. Finding ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason becomes a lot harder in such circumstances.
What can you do if the lack of time is the number one reason why you can’t think of sweet ways to surprise your boyfriend? Do what other people do. Make time.
That may sound a little unhelpful at first glance but bear with us.
Making time means using taking a few minutes from your busy schedule for the person you love most. It means taking a couple of minutes from your busy work schedule and surprising him with a good morning message. As a matter of fact, that’s the perfect way of how to surprise your boyfriend at work when time is a limiting factor. Leaving him an email or text message on a regular working day is always be a pleasant surprise. And it doesn’t get in the way of other activities. Most importantly, it tells him that you think about him, even when you’re not together.
3. Lack of creativity
Another barrier keeping you from finding tons of ideas of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason is lack of creativity. If you do not engage those creative juices, you’ll find it extremely hard to come up with ways to surprise the love of your life at the spur of the moment.
In fact, a lack of creativity seeps to every aspect of your life. When you lack in the creative department, you cease being that spontaneous, light-hearted, bundle of energy he fell in love with.
Most guys usually complain about this all the time. When guys are hanging out with their friends, it’s not surprising to hear one of them complaining that their girlfriend stopped being fun. Don’t be surprised to hear one of them describe their girlfriend as the incarnation of Scrooge.
How can you cure a lack of creativity? By thinking outside the box, that’s how. When you stop trying to come up with standard solutions for problems, you force yourself to be creative.
Stop trying to come up with an impromptu surprise the same way you’d plan for his surprise birthday party. Instead, think, “what kind of surprise has he never had before?” But try and resist all answers in the line of “He’s never been shoved in front of a bus before.”
Creativity opens a whole new world of possibilities. One where every waking minute you spend with your beau is filled with fun, affection, and caring. When you allow yourself to be creative, you’ll come up with tons of ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason.
Why Surprises Matter
At this particular juncture, you might be thinking, “It’s a lot of work trying to come up with ways to surprise him. Why don’t I just wait for his birthday and throw him a party like everyone else?”
Well, it turns out that surprises have surprising mental and physical effects.
According to researchers, when you surprise someone, a lot happens in the body:
1. Unexpected Surprises Improves His Memory
People are more likely to remember a surprising event than a planned one. That’s why you tend to remember the surprise birthday party your parents threw for your 10th birthday than the dollhouse you begged for your 12th birthday.
Researchers found a link between the hippocampus, the part of your brain that processes and stores information, and unexpected events. A surprising event stimulates that part of the brain more than familiar events, meaning you’re more likely to store memories of surprising events.
That’s not all though. Stimulating the hippocampus regularly increases its volume. Just like exercising a muscle makes it grow, surprises help the hippocampus grow, meaning a person can store memories for longer.
When finding ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason and follow them through, you’re actually improving his memory abilities.
2. Unexpected Surprises Make Him Happier
You don’t need a scientist to tell you being happy is good for your body. But you probably need one to explain the physiological benefits of gleefully laughing at a welcome surprise.
Researchers at the Baylor College of Medicine and Emory University found a correlation between welcome surprises and the pleasure centers of our brains. When we experience positive moments we didn’t expect, the pleasure centers in your brain light up like a Christmas tree. The same pleasure centers light up when we get a gift on Christmas Eve, but not with the same intensity.
Finding ways of how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason makes him happier compared to getting a gift on his birthday. That means he’ll have higher levels ‘feelgood’ chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin. All these chemicals are important for keeping cortisol – the ‘feelbad’ chemical away. High levels of cortisol mean elevated blood sugar, susceptibility to depression, and even a loss of calcium from the bones. So, when you boost his ‘feelgood’ chemicals by finding ways to surprise him for no reason, you’re making him healthier.
3. Improves your Level of Satisfaction in the Relationship
Another reason you’ll want to look into how to surprise your boyfriend for no reason is the improved level of satisfaction that it brings. When you do new things with your boyfriend, you avoid the problem that comes with being together for long periods – familiarity. Familiarity in a relationship leads to the inevitable feeling of feeling bored. When you take time to come up with a novel surprise, you change up those daily habits that leave you feeling bored and inject some excitement into both of your lives.
Now that you know what’s keeping you from finding novel ways to surprise your partner and the benefits of the unexpected surprise, here are a couple of ways to surprise your boyfriend for no reason.
1. Record a sweet message for your boyfriend and send it: This is one of the creative ways to give a gift to your boyfriend that never runs out of style. Find some time to record a sweet message for him. It doesn’t have to be a special day, and in fact, that’s what makes it the perfect surprise to start or end just about any day. And it only takes a couple of minutes.
2. Pick him up from a train or bus stop with fun airport-pickup sign: Again, it doesn’t take too much planning or time. But it shows your boyfriend that you’re still that fun-loving girl he fell in love with.
3. Help him with a chore that’s typically his: If he washes his car every weekend, do it for him. Let him wake up to a sparkling car. It doesn’t look like much at first glance compared to expensive gifts for boyfriends birthday, but it speaks volumes.
4. Send him a message through non-usual means: Writing a message on the bathroom mirror that’ll wash off makes any morning special. He’ll be happily whistling while shaving thinking to himself how lucky he is to have you in his life.
There’re lots of ways to surprise your boyfriend for no reason. We hope the few we’ve suggested will help you come with lots more to ignite that spark and keep your relationship exciting.
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