Source: Statista.

• Stay married but never truly forgive

Some unhappy people stay with their cheating spouse for the wrong reasons. Looking at their relationship, you can see it has ended, although not legally. They and their partners live with hatred. The atmosphere in their home is toxic. 

Some husbands are so vengeful. They stay in the marriage to make his cheating wife miserable. They see divorce as letting their wives walk scot-free. Some vengeful husbands become extremely violent physically and emotionally. They go as far as ruining their wife’s reputation and social benefits. Sadly, their children are not exonerated from their misery. 

• Separate and remain hostile towards your partner.

The last way people react to cheating is to divorce and remain hostile toward the partner that cheated on them. The grave sense of dissatisfaction and betrayal they feel denies them the conscience to forgive and let go. Sadly, they allow the actions of their cheating wife to continue to control them long after they’ve dissolved their marriage. When kids are in the picture, they tend to suffer from their parents’ animosity towards each other. Sometimes a child has to live with the fact that they can no longer see one of their parents until either or both agree. 

How to react to cheating.

Husbands who are dealing with the effect of infidelity experience a range of emotions and act out based on these emotions. It is often hard to act rationally when you feel a sense of injustice. Sadly, some actions have led to the demise of many people. We are responsible for our behavior and would be held accountable for them. 

We cannot outrightly dictate to anyone how to react to cheating but below are a couple of ideas that could help you handle the situation better. 

• Be in control of how you feel.

You might feel confused, extreme anger, disappointment, hate, vengeful, shame, and other negative emotions, but you must control them, so they don’t get the best of you. Controlling your feelings does not mean that you hide them. It only means you won’t allow them to go overboard and violate another person’s human rights. Three things could ignite your outburst;

• The intense feeling of pain or fear. 
• The offender’s behavior after they’ve been caught cheating.
• Your perception of people’s behavioral expectations of you. 

Be careful of them. Tell yourself to breathe and be calm.

• Give yourself breathing space.

The best thing to do in situations that are driving you crazy is to give yourself some breathing space. Before you think of throwing punches or engaging in any heated argument, breathe and walk away. Give yourself enough time to calm down and gain a bit of rationality before addressing the issue. Violently dealing with a cheating wife is never the answer. 

• Get your facts straight.

Emotions can cloud judgments. When you act impulsively without understanding the whole situation, you could make decisions you can’t take back. Do not assume that your wife is cheating on you; have sufficient proof that she is cheating. 

• Never define yourself by her actions, or blame yourself.

Some people are in the habit of defining themselves based on the actions of their spouse. For example, some men see themselves as inadequate or not man enough because their wives cheated on them. Don’t be tempted to evaluate your worth on the destructive behaviors of others towards you. 

• You can choose to listen to what your wife says, but you don’t have to respond immediately. 

One thing that many offenders do is pressure victims to react or respond quickly. They want to see where you stand. They are also persuasive. Don’t fall into their trap of back and forth. Give yourself enough time to think through everything before responding. Ask them to give you space or time. A wife who has cheated on you will respect your request for space. If she doesn’t, do not make her your business. Put yourself first and try to heal. 

• Surround yourself with people and activities that would cheer you up.

Replaying the sad event over and over will do you no good. If anything, it would cloud your decision-making. Try to occupy your mind with activities and conversations that will put you in a positive mental place. 

• Seek professional help.

Your friends would join you and rant about your cheating wife but won’t help you deal with the deep emotional issues that arise from the infidelity. Highly unlikely. Seeking professional help means you value your mental and emotional health. 

• Don’t shy away from addressing the situation.

Marriage and relationship are not the same. You can walk away without saying anything in a relationship, but it will do you no good to shy away from having a conversation with your cheating wife. You have a legally binding contract with her which the society and law recognizes. She needs to know if you’ve made up your mind about what step you want to take. It’s also a good idea to hear her out. You don’t have to buy everything she says, but listening to whatever she says is no harm. 

• Consider other people that will be affected by your decisions.

While you are all out to deal with your cheating wife, do not forget that she is the mother of your children, and your children will be affected by the whole situation. Aim to resolve things like adults and don’t make your children suffer for their mother’s actions or your decisions. 

Frequently Asked Question

• How to overcome cheating in marriage.

If you’re asking how to get your marriage back on track after your wife or husband has cheated on you, here are a couple of things to do;

• Explicitly discuss cheating, why it happened and how it made both parties feel.
• Let there be remorse for the wrong action. If the offending party isn’t remorseful for their action, there is no guarantee that they’ll do better. 
• Make a decision always to communicate each other’s needs effectively.
• Set a higher standard for yourselves in the marriage, and work on a unified goal.
• Be committed to forgiveness and trust. Constantly reminding your partner of past wrongs will do your marriage no good.
• Seek professional help.
• Invest in activities that will help both of you bond better. Invest in intimacy.

Conclusion

Infidelity in marriage is one of the top four reasons for divorce in many countries. The act has a pandora box effect on marriage. Betrayed partners go through many traumas they find hard to deal with. A husband that wishes to deal with a cheating wife has four paths to take; forgive and reconcile, forgive and separate, stay married and live in constant unforgiveness, or separate and don’t forgive. Whatever path you choose, make your children a priority.