Difficult times don’t mean your relationship is unstable, but an unstable relationship brings many difficult times.”

Many authors out there confuse signs of a healthy relationship with signs of a stable relationship. We are not going to do that here. A person in a stable relationship isn’t necessarily in a healthy relationship. 

In case your next question is, what does a stable relationship mean? We define it as the absence of doubt or fear that parties in the relationship will breakup. In a stable relationship, partners are confident of their commitment to the relationship. Stability is a vital quality of a healthy relationship.

Nobody wants to be made a fool of in their relationship. Nobody wants to be caught off guard by the news of a breakup. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they have no future. Hence, it is important to know the signs of a stable relationship.

3 Vital Signs of a Stable Relationship.

• There is an undeniable show of commitment by both partners to stay in the relationship.

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A show of commitment is the most crucial sign of a stable relationship. Partners in the relationship will see behaviors that reassure them that their spouse is not nursing serious plans of ending the relationship. In practical terms, 

• Your partner will tell you that they want to be with you like you tell them. 
• They will speak of the relationship in both present and future tense like you do. 
• They will include you in their plans like you include them. 
• They will fight for the relationship like you do. 
• You will have peace of mind that they are yours.

If only one person shows commitment in a relationship,  that relationship is not stable. There is a high chance that a partner who does not show commitment will leave the relationship. Secondly, there is a high chance that a partner who nurses doubt or fear about a relationship status will behave in ways that eventually end the relationship. 

We must highlight that a show of commitment does not necessarily reveal the genuine intention of a partner toward a relationship. It is not an accurate test of a relationship’s longevity. Neither can it be defined as true commitment. A show of commitment only erases doubt about a relationship’s survival, creating a feeling of stability in the relationship.

People can show commitment in their relationship while harboring ulterior motives in the relationship. They make their partner feel comfortable in the relationship to get what they want.

The truth remains that, in a stable relationship, there must be a show of commitment towards the relationship. You must see it. If you don’t truly see commitment, it is wise to talk to your partner about your observation or quietly exit the relationship.

• Consented position and recognition of place in the relationship.

In a stable relationship, partners know their place or title in each others’ life and are comfortable with the position. When people are unsure of their place or value in a relationship, they are less likely to settle in the relationship, making it unstable.

If you are in a stable relationship, your partner will let you know who they want you to be in the relationship. It could be a friend, best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance, fiancee, husband, or wife. If you know your defined position in the relationship and agree to stay in the relationship, it means that you’ve consented or agreed to the position, likewise your partner. 

If you’re finding it difficult to define your role or position in a person’s life, you are not in a stable relationship with them.

• Agreement of responsibilities and expectations in the relationship

Partners in a stable relationship take up responsibilities and are expected to meet certain expectations. Most people will refuse to perform certain duties in a relationship that values them less than they want. For example, A man might stop buying gifts and assisting a lady financially if he disagrees with being ‘just a friend in the relationship. But might comfortably assist a lady financially if she agrees with being his fiancee.

You are in a stable relationship if your boyfriend or girlfriend cares and loves you and tries to meet some of your expectations.

7 important signs of a healthy relationship?

• Communication

The first obvious sign of a healthy relationship is communication quality. Couples project the health of their relationship through the quality of their communication. Sometimes, an outsider can tell if a partner trusts or distrusts their partner; is discontented or satisfied in the relationship; and respects or disrespects their partner. 

In a healthy relationship, partners are intentional about their right tone of voice, choice of words, and giving the right signals. Their conversation exudes trust, respect, support, and satisfaction. Partners are free to express their grievances respectfully without fear of negative retaliation.

• Trust

Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship, and a lack of it diminishes the longevity of a relationship. It is said that the most crucial ingredient for the development and maintenance of a happy and functional relationship is trust.

Trust gives breeds safety, peace, openness, and comfort. If you ever have to question a bulk of your partner’s actions because they raise so much doubt in you; if you find yourself spying on your partner often or hiding so many times from them, it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

• Stability

In a stable relationship, partners are never in doubt of each other’s commitment to the relationship. They know their place and understand their duties in the relationship.

• If you cannot define your place in the relationship and your partner’s life, you’re not in a healthy relationship. 
• If your partner’s actions raise doubt about their desire to be in the relationship or with you, you are not in a healthy relationship. 
• If your partner is uncomfortable with you taking up duties expected of a partner in the relationship, and if your partner’s actions make you seem desperate, you are not in a healthy relationship. 

A healthy relationship will not drain your sanity. You never have to doubt your partner’s intentions for you. They will always show you that you are a valuable part of their life and will include you in critical decisions. 

• Respect

Love without respect harbors abuse. Every healthy relationship has a culture of respect. Partners intentionally preserve each other’s dignity, in private and public. 

Partners in a healthy relationship,

• Appreciate each other, 
• Speak kindly and listen attentively to each other, 
• Speak highly of each other,
• Is mindful of how the project their partners to other,
• Do not allow conflict or disagreement to strip each other of respect,
• Is mindful of what their partner thinks of them, and,
• Corrects behaviors their partner considers offensive.

If you are in a relationship where your partner does not care about how they project you to people and how their actions make you feel, you are not in a healthy relationship. 

In a survey by YouGovAmerica, participants were asked if they got into arguments in Public. More than 70% said No. We can assume that most people understand the need to respect themselves and their partners in public.

• Support.

Partners in a healthy relationship receive much support from each other because they can empathize with themselves. They understand each other’s mental space, discouragements, pain, fears, desires, etcetera.

Your relationship is unhealthy if your partner isn’t bothered about your emotions, moods, daily struggles, plans, and achievements. If you have to remind your partner to show concern for you during a crucial time, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If either of you prioritizes yourselves more than the other, your relationship is unhealthy. 

A partner claiming to love you will share in your pain as much as they would in your joy. They’ll want you to win because your happiness matters to them.

• Independence. 

In a healthy relationship, partners have the freedom to live a life beyond being a spouse. They are free to make good friends, participate in fun activities, pursue a healthier lifestyle, career growth, etcetera. A partner that loses their identity in their relationship and cannot express themselves because of their spouse is in an unhealthy relationship. A lack of independence in a relationship also tells of the quality of trust in the relationship. 

• Satisfaction.

Partners in healthy relationships experience a general sense of satisfaction in the relationship. They are happy and comfortable with their spouse and relationship. 

What brings stability to a relationship?

Several things could increase the likelihood of a relationship surviving. 

1. Genuineness of intention. 

The first thing that brings stability to a relationship is partners having genuine intentions towards each other and the relationship. Partners with genuine intentions act favorably towards their spouses. Their actions are also consistent. 

When a person has ulterior reasons other than genuine love for their partner, it reduces the chances of both partners enjoying a stable relationship. Secondly, when one partner doubts the genuineness of the other, they are more likely to act in ways that would affect the stability of their relationship.

• Personality, character, and attitude.

People who find their partner’s personality, character, and attitude acceptable are more likely to remain with them. When a partner doubts their ability to tolerate their partner’s personality, they will likely commit to their partner. 

• Ability to meet expectations in the relationship.

Everyone has qualities they expect their partners to possess and duties they expect them to perform in a relationship. When partners are confident of each other’s ability to meet their expectations, their relationship will be stable.

Frequently asked questions.

• What are the Ten (10) signs of a strong relationship?

• Mutual respect
• Trust
• Communication
• Commitment
• Support
• Stability
• Teamwork
• Independence
• Compromise
• Satisfaction 

• What are the three C’s in a healthy relationship?

• Communication
• Commitment
• Compromise 

• Signs you are in a stable relationship?

• Undeniable show of commitment
• Recognition and acceptance of place in relationship
• Agreement of responsibilities and fulfillment of expectations in the relationship.

Conclusion

Stability is one of the main indications of a strong and healthy relationship. The three ways to know if you are in a stable relationship are to look out for commitment, position, and responsibilities in the relationship.