How to Stop Missing Someone Who Doesn’t Miss You - 11 Ways to Get Over This Feeling
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
There’s not much point in trying to understand why you miss someone because the brain is a lover of nostalgia. It will access the vast memories you have of that person and keep replaying them over and over because nostalgia is like a drug to it. Rather, you should focus on finding out how to stop missing someone who doesn’t miss you.
First things first, you need to understand that what you’re going through is not rare. It is quite normal to miss someone who was once part of your life but, for one reason or the other, no longer is and doesn’t seem to care.
This, however, is an unhealthy situation that can negatively impact your life. You could, for instance, develop stress and depression, as well as feelings of insecurity from wondering why the person doesn’t miss you as well.
We’re not saying it isn’t okay to miss someone; after all, we are human, and the end of any relationship tends to elicit strong emotions. Indeed, going through the process of missing someone and all the negative feelings – anxieties, wild emotions, and stress – that come with it are necessary for you to move on.
What isn’t healthy is when this is overdone. You not only risk your well-being, but you would be damaging your chances to grow further as a person. This is why it is of paramount importance that you move on from this state, and we are here to help you with that by offering you the following tips.
1. Process your emotions
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The first step when it comes to how to stop missing someone who doesn’t miss you is to admit that you miss them. You should ask yourself why you miss them and what you miss about them.
This will most probably come with negative feelings such as hurt, sadness, insecurity, and hopelessness. The best thing to do here is to accept these emotions rather than deny them because this is important in the process that allows you to get over missing someone.
You may develop some feelings of resentment towards the person for not missing you as you miss them, or to yourself, for doing something that pushed them away. This is not healthy and will only make moving on harder. Rather, let go of that resentment, don’t blame either you or the person, and just accept that this is life as it is.
2. Remove things that remind you of them
When you are missing someone badly and need to move on, you should try getting rid of things that remind you of them. This may be things you bought together, something you have that they always liked, or something of theirs that you kept.
If you are still on speaking terms with the person, you can give it back to them and if not, feel free to throw them away. If the item is of value to you, however, you can lock it away for the time being so that you don’t see it often.
Getting rid of reminders is a great way to stop missing someone you love because there is less chance of being randomly reminded of them from mere items.
3. Be with other people
It is really painful when you’re missing someone so much, yet they don’t feel the same. The best thing to do is move on, and one way to stop missing her/ him is to distract yourself by being with other people.
You can reach out to family and friends to have interactions that fill in the void left by this person, and you can allow them to offer you emotional support. You can even talk to them about the person you miss because unburdening the mind will enable you to move on faster. Try to talk about other things as well so as not to remain completely fixated on your situation.
When you desperately miss someone, simply talking to family and friends might not be enough; you need to engage in activities together too. Having fun with those you love will distract you from your pain and can only be good for you.
4. Implement a “No Contact” Rule
What to do when you miss someone who doesn’t miss you? Cut off all contact with them. Several experts stand by this formula because it helps you move on without being pulled back by the “what ifs” that can arise by maintaining communication with this person.
This rule requires that you not call, text, or engage with the person on social media. Yes, this includes viewing their pictures and status updates. The recommended time to do this is between 4 to 8 weeks, providing you with enough breathing space to move on.
Suppose you’re forced to see the person every now and then because they are a co-worker. In that case, you can still implement this rule by avoiding conversation with them. A simple greeting will suffice so as not to appear rude.
Find out more on this rule at What Goes Through a Guys Mind During no Contact.
5. Live in the moment
How long does it take to stop missing someone? We honestly can’t say because this varies per person and situation. The best we can advise is that you not think about how you’ll wake up one day and be magically okay. It doesn’t work that way.
Instead, you can live your life for yourself by living in the moment every passing day. Don’t let anxieties of the future and hurts from the past dictate your life. Of course, this is easier said than done, but you simply must try if you hope to stop missing someone who hurt you.
6. Engage in some new activities
Experts recommend that even though engaging in activities helps with how to cope with missing someone, engaging in new activities helps even more. The goal is not to repeat the same routine you might have engaged in with the person you miss, as this might trigger memories and make your recovery harder.
Engaging in new activities means breaking the routine, exploring different parts of yourself, and meeting new people who can help you move on. Not to mention, you can create new, happier memories that will come to take the place of the ones you shared with this person you miss.
Activities that you can engage in to handle missing someone include outdoor activities such as hiking and home activities such as home improvements and acts and crafts.
7. Express yourself by writing a letter
When you miss someone, it most likely means that there is some unfinished business between you two, and there are things that you wish to say to them. Knowing how to not miss someone can therefore include saying those things you wanted to say to them, to yourself.
You would be free to let out all the deep emotions you have bottled inside with no fear of judgment, making you feel so much better.
The most popular way to let out these feelings is by writing a letter to yourself. You can also opt for a journal or a personal blog set to be viewed by you alone. An audio or a video addressed to you alone can also be of service. If you are feeling particularly artistic, you can even write a song or poem about your feelings.
8. Get some meditation done
A great tip on how to stop missing someone who doesn’t miss you is to meditate those feelings away. The memories of the person you miss are held in the mind, and meditation calms the mind, which means it can calm those memories.
Meditation gives you better clarity to figure out why you need to move on from this person, which makes it great when you are missing someone who isn’t good for you.
Statistics show that in this ever stressful world, those engaging in meditation keep increasing in number, which means that it helps people. If it can help those people, it can help you as well.
9. Do more of those things you enjoy
Getting over someone you miss is the perfect opportunity to jump into your hobbies, interests, and other things that give you joy. Not only will they distract you from your current situation, but they will also feel you up with positive vibes.
However, for the time being, you should avoid any shared interests and hobbies that you had with the person you miss as this could trigger memories with them.
Engaging in hobbies that you personally enjoy without the person you miss will also give you a renewed self of sense, thereby allowing you to find joy in who you are without others to bring you down.
10. Volunteer for a good cause
Research by Happify shows that volunteering to help a good cause improves your mood and can help you find a sense of purpose in life. It also reduces your stress levels and gives you a healthier outlook on life. All these benefits are important in combating the negative feelings when you miss someone who doesn’t miss you.
Therefore, if you need help on how to stop missing someone who hurt you, look no further than volunteerism because it makes you feel better and helps others. It is truly a win-win situation.
11. Talk to a therapist
Therapists are trained professionals who can give you the best help when you can’t get over missing that someone on your own. They will provide more unique and tailored advice based on your specific situation by showing you new insights and perspectives you may have missed.
This makes them useful in many ways, such as how to stop missing your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Also, with the internet revolutionizing communication, therapists are more accessible than ever before. You don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home – unless you can – to seek the very relevant help that they can give.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What do you do when you miss someone who doesn’t love you?
- Try to put some space between you and the person.
- Understand that they don’t owe you their love, and you can’t force them to love you.
- Take your time to feel the emotions you feel and to express them to yourself.
- Distract yourself with the help of friends and family.
- Get rid of things that remind you of them.
- Remind yourself of your good qualities to boost your confidence.
2. Why do we miss someone who doesn’t miss us?
We can miss people who don’t miss us because:
- We miss the way they made us feel when we were with them.
- We miss the memories we created with them.
- We can’t seem to find someone else like them.
3. What do you do when you miss someone who isn’t in your life anymore?
- Allow yourself to feel and process the negative emotions that come with this.
- Distract yourself by being with other people such as friends and family.
- Engage in some new activities.
- Do not try to contact the person for at least weeks.
- Do more of the things you enjoy.
- Talk to a therapist if the feelings are quite strong.
All in all…
It is never easy missing someone, and it is even harder when you know these feelings aren’t reciprocated. However, life must go on because fixating on the person gives them power over your life, and you can’t have that.
It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight, but using these tips and taking every day one at a time will help you move on from missing this human who doesn’t miss someone as awesome as you back.
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