9 Helpful Tips on How to Tell Your Wife To Lose Weight

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

Have you noticed changes in your partner’s physical appearance? Perhaps you wonder how to tell your wife to lose weight without hurting her feelings. If you want to learn how to tell your wife to lose weight, keep reading for more information on weight gain relationship problems. 

Timing is Everything

As you notice your husband or wife gain weight, you may feel the sudden urge to tell them. After all, being overweight puts you at a higher risk for health issues such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. While you may be worried about your partner’s health, you need to take a mindful approach to how and when you will express your concerns. Remember that this is not a conversation in front of others, so do not bring it up around friends or family. It is also best not to rush into the conversation or bring it up in passing. Comments about weight and appearance are often associated with humiliation and shame. When it comes to learning how to tell your wife to lose weight, timing is everything. The last thing you want to do is casually bring up your partner’s weight issues in the grocery store or out to dinner with friends. 

Don’t Tell Them to go on a Diet

Words hold an incredible amount of power. Simplistic language like “just go on a diet” is more harmful than helpful. When you offer unhelpful advice like “eat less and exercise more,” you are implying that weight management is easy. If you want to learn how to tell your wife she needs to lose weight, you need to be compassionate. Everyone’s body is different, so don’t assume that just because one thing has worked for you, it will work for your spouse. Experts suggest approaching your spouse as they are experts on their bodies. Instead of offering empty suggestions, you can ask your spouse if they are ready to make a change in their health. You can ask what they’ve tried in the past and what has provided the best results if they are. If you can tell your spouse is struggling with their weight, don’t give empty advice. When you have a husband or wife gaining weight, listen to their perspective before offering a solution. 

Consider Your Lifestyle Choices 

If you are looking for support on how to deal with an overweight spouse,  consider your habits. In marriages, spouses will sometimes pick up their partner’s eating and exercise habits. So if you are wondering why your wife is gaining weight, maybe you should look at your own lifestyle choices and see if she could be picking up on your habits and vice versa. Male and female metabolisms are very different, so some men can eat all they want with minimal exercise and not gain weight. However, it may be difficult for women with hormone imbalances, depression, or other health-related issues. If you are looking for advice on how to tell your wife to lose weight, consider seeing a nutritionist together. Even if you feel like you don’t need to lose weight, consider making changes to your lifestyle to be a positive influence on your spouse. 

Ask Your Spouse How You Can Help

If you have a spouse struggling to lose weight, sudden lifestyle changes may be overwhelming at first. However, remind your partner that they can lean on you for help. Before you can learn how to tell your wife to lose weight, you must understand your partner’s struggles. Consider asking them how you can aid them during their weight loss journey. You may be asking yourself,  “How do I tell my partner they are fat?” Instead, you should ask yourself, “How do I help my partner get healthy?” Ultimately, you want to see your partner live a happy and healthy lifestyle. The best way to support your partner in their weight loss journey is to open up and have an honest conversation about their goals in the future.

Additionally, it would be helpful to aid your partner in behavioral changes. You can do this by playing an active role in meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. Make yourself part of the solution when learning how to help your partner lose weight. 

If your husband or wife is gaining weight, you may find yourself distancing yourself from them. Check out these 12 tips on how to feel more connected with your partner

Don’t Compliment Weight Loss

If you are learning how to deal with an overweight spouse, consider not complimenting them on their weight. While this tip may seem counterintuitive, unsolicited weight loss compliments are unhealthy for several reasons. Individuals who struggle with weight often feel like they are under the microscope. A huge lifestyle change such as a weight loss journey comes with even more attention and unsolicited advice, especially from the people we love the most. Another reason we shouldn’t compliment weight loss is because it places too much emphasis on body image instead of healthy lifestyle changes. Instead of praising your loved ones based on appearances, consider complimenting their milestones. If you are unsure of how you should motivate your loved ones as they lose weight, ask them what makes them feel the most comfortable. 

Let Your Partner Take the Lead

Although you may notice that your wife is gaining weight, they may not feel it is an issue. Pay attention to how your partner’s behavior. Are they self-conscious? Have they brought up any health concerns recently? Keep note of their relationship with themselves and their body. You may find that your partner has gained weight, but it may have been beneficial. Some people gain weight but feel happier with themselves. If your partner’s behavior towards their weight seems healthy and happy, they may not need to lose weight. This is another situation where you can practice focusing on your partner’s health rather than appearance. If you are learning how to tell your wife to lose weight, the best thing you can do is let them take the lead to do what makes them feel best. 

Weight Gain is a Normal Part of Life

As we age, our bodies change. Often weight gain can be attributed to certain lifestyles and circumstances. For instance, many college students gain weight during their first year on campus or pregnancy. Bodies age and change. They get bigger and smaller. We go through many different iterations of ourselves through the years, which is a natural part of life. If you are struggling with how to tell your wife to lose weight, ask yourself if these changes are normal. If your partner seems happy and healthy, you may not need to tell your partner they’re fat. Rather than convincing them to lose weight, try making small changes to create healthier lives together. 

If you are struggling with your spouse’s recent weight gain, perhaps you need to be more clear on the role health plays in your relationship expectations. Try reading these 11 helpful ways to learn how to stop having expectations in a relationship. 

Your Relationship Isn’t Doomed

You’re probably feeling some guilt and shame when you think things like: “I am not attracted to my overweight wife.” As your partner gains weight, you may feel your attraction fade. Research has found that those happy in their marriage put on extra weight compared to unhappy spouses. Researchers have concluded that happy couples gain weight. After all, they are less motivated to maintain their weight because they have already found their mate. The good news is that if your husband or wife keeps gaining weight, they are probably comfortable in your presence. 

According to a survey done by OnePoll, the number one reason people gain weight in their relationships is increased eating out. As we settle into life with a new partner, things become hectic, and we lose track of our health goals. If your partner’s weight is becoming an issue, consider making changes together to strive for a healthier and happier lifestyle. 

Married couples are most likely to experience weight gain within the first two years of their marriage. This phenomenon is called concordance. Behavior is contagious, and spouses often emulate the behavior of the other. When you live close to someone else, you are more likely to eat the same things and do the same activities. You and your partner are a team. If you want to learn how to help your partner lose weight, consider making small healthy changes that can impact you both for the better.

How to Tell Your Partner to Lose Weight

If your partner struggles with their weight, they are probably already aware of the problem. If you want to learn how to tell your wife to lose weight, you need to know how to listen first. Don’t bring up the subject unprovoked or shame them for food, exercise, or clothing choices. Instead, listen to what your partner tells you in terms of health concerns. The issue behind your partner’s weight gain needs to go beyond aesthetic reasons. Sure, we all want to have a wife or husband with a hot body, but you should encourage your partner to have a better life experience. Therefore, if you notice that their weight gain influences your spouse’s quality of life, you are obligated to speak to them about it. However, do not try to change what you cannot control. Ultimately, your partner’s body belongs to them. The best way to deal with weight problems in a relationship is to communicate with empathy and build healthy habits together. 


1. How do I tell my wife she needs to lose weight?

Weight gain and body changes are normal for people in long-term relationships. The best way to tell your partner to lose weight is to be sensitive to their health. People’s bodies change, but their worth does not. If you are serious about your partner’s recent weight gain, express your concerns for their health with empathy. Don’t harp on their physical appearance. Instead, focus on your long-term goals together and try to build long-lasting lifestyle changes that will benefit the two of you. 

2. Is it wrong to want your partner to lose weight?

It is not wrong to want your partner to lose weight. Higher BMI (body mass index) can put your partner at high risk for diabetes and high blood pressure. No one wants to say goodbye to their partner early due to obesity. It is not wrong to want your partner to lose weight, but it is wrong to pressure them into losing weight. 

3. Is it bad that I am no longer attracted to my overweight spouse? 

If your partner struggles with weight gain, you may notice their body change. They may be okay with this change, but you may be losing attraction. Be honest with your partner without shaming or embarrassing them. Emphasize your commitment to health, and let them know they are not alone. If your partner is open to making lifestyle changes with you, consider seeing a nutritionist and doctor together.

How to tell your wife to lose weight

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