- If you feel like your wife hates you, chances are that she does. You have probably picked up on some negative changed behavior that has alerted you. But why do you suppose your wife hates you so much?
- This article discusses spousal resentment and the different ways it manifests itself in relationships, especially in long-running marriages.
- Identifying the source of resentment can help you save your marriage. continue reading to find out how.
Spousal resentment occurs in a marriage when one spouse continues to take advantage of the others’ generosity or willingness to compromise or forgive. Resentment grows over time and the more issues you hold in, the stronger it grows. Resentment leads to couples “growing apart” and eventually ending up separated or divorced. All of the reasons that people give for divorce can be summed up in one word – Resentment.
It is no wonder then that divorce rates have gone high in the United States from 14.9 in 1970 to 15.7 in 2018 with it peaking in 1980 with 22.8
Women’s adjusted divorce rate 1990-2018. Source: www.bgsu.edu
When your spouse resents you, they will begin to show you behavior that is unlike them and that suggests that they may hate you. oftentimes, this is not hatred but misplaced anger and if caught early on, you can avoid losing your wife and family.
SIGNS MY WIFE HATES ME
If you find yourself wondering “does my wife hate me?” chances are that you have noticed something – often behavior change – in your wife that is negative and prompts you to think she hates you. Below are some signs that point out that your wife hates you.
1. SHE IS EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE
If you are wondering “why does my wife act like she hates me?” then your suspicions might be confirmed if you notice that your wife is emotionally manipulating you, too. What is emotional manipulation? This is when a person lies and twists the truth in order to confuse you and make you feel like you are the bad person when in reality they are gaslighting you and manipulating how you think and react to certain issues. When your wife starts doing this to you, know that she no longer has feelings of love or affection towards you – and also she might possibly have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
2. SHE IS TURNING YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST YOU
Another sure way to confirm that your wife doesn’t love you is if she starts turning your children against you. When things have gotten this far, just know that your wife has gone over the edge and is rallying up other members of your family to fall behind her. This may even extend to external family members such as your parents, her parents, sisters, brothers, and close aunts, and uncles.
3. SHE IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE
When your wife starts insulting you every chance she gets, it is another sign that she hates you. She no longer cares about your feelings and whether or not she is hurting them. She might even be doing this on purpose – going out of her way to hurt you. Why? This is because hate springs from hurt – you may have hurt her in the past and never shown remorse for it. Her insulting you and hurting you might be her (unhealthy) way of inflicting the pain you put her through back to you.
4. SHE BLAMES YOU FOR HOW HER LIFE TURNED OUT
If you think your wife hates you because she is constantly blaming you for how her life turned out, chances are you are right and your wife absolutely resents you. To find out why does your wife hate you so much, think back to your marriage and what she told you she wanted before you made her ‘compromise’ – did she want a child or children? Did she want to be a stay at home mom? Did she want to be a career woman? Did she want to live where you are currently living? – these questions will help you understand why your wife might be harboring feelings of resentment towards you. How many times did you tell her to ‘meet you halfway’ only for her to end up going the whole way?
SIGNS YOUR WIFE DOESN’T LOVE YOU
What are some signs that a wife hates her husband? If you notice your wife doing any of the things below, you might have to consider the possibility that your wife doesn’t love you anymore.
5. YOU CANNOT TALK TO HER
A sign that your wife is losing interest in you is when she does not engage in conversation with you. Whenever you try to talk to her you are met with short answers, nonengagement, or you are completely ignored. This shows that your wife has lost any interest in you and your life. She does not care about what you have to say to her and she is past the stage of pretending she is even remotely interested.
6. YOU ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING
Another sign that your wife doesn’t love you is when she always picks a fight about everything. You cannot seem to have one good or even decent conversation without her turning it into a screaming match or pointing out something that you said or did wrong. This might be because of one of these two reasons; she either thinks you always mess up and is tired of telling you because you never fix yourself or the situation or she wants you to stop talking to her completely and leave her alone and she knows that sooner or later, you are going to if she keeps irritating you.
7. SHE WON’T HAVE SEX WITH YOU
This is possibly one of the most obvious signs your wife doesn’t love you anymore. Now there is a difference between your wife not feeling like having sex with you a couple of nights out of the week, as opposed to you and your (presumably healthy) wife completely stop having sex and it is always because she doesn’t want to. When a woman loves you, she will want to express this love physically, to be with you, and hold you in a way that only she can, so when this stops, rest assured her feelings for you have changed, too.
8. SHE FINDS YOU REPULSIVE
When your wife doesn’t love you anymore, everything that you do repulses her. All the things she used to find quirky yet endearing when she was in love with you suddenly become issues she will constantly complain about. Like the way you chew, the way you pronounce the T in ‘fasten’, the way you comb your hair, the way your face looks… the list is endless and unpredictable. anything you do has the potential to annoy her and repel her off of you.
9. SHE AVOIDS SPENDING TIME WITH YOU
Another way you can tell if your wife hates you is if she never wants to spend time with you. One of the essential love languages is quality time and most humans crave this especially with someone that they love – platonically or romantically. Spending time with your partner increases the closeness that two people feel to each other and therefore strengthens the relationship. When your wife doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore, she is basically communicating that she no longer wishes to grow the relationship with you.
10. SHE IS CONSTANTLY CRITICIZING YOU
If you are wondering “does my wife really love me?” because you find that she is constantly criticizing you, chances are that she has fallen out of love with you. This point plays into point number 8 where she finds you repulsive and every little thing you do annoys her. This annoyance will soon start to vocalize itself and it will come in the form of criticism – she will criticize your walk, your talk, your style, your cooking… everything that she finds repulsive about you.
11. SHE NO LONGER CONFIDES IN YOU
You will know that you have lost your woman when she no longer confides in you. She does not tell you about how her day went or complain to you about the kids driving her mad, or if her family is going through a traumatic life event. When this happens, know that your wife no longer values your opinion on matters concerning her life, your children’s lives, or even her family’s life.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR WIFE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
12. SHE NO LONGER SHARES HER LIFE WITH YOU
Your wife is no longer in love with you when she doesn’t want to spend time with you. She does not invite you to hang out with her, watch your favorite shows together, have a date night, or even go dancing but she does all these things on her own or with a group of girlfriends. This shows that she has mentally removed you from her life and now she is physically following suit. There is nothing wrong with your wife wanting a life outside of your relationship – it is healthy to have friends outside of your spouse, but when your wife begins to have this new life and does not tell you about it or even let you know when or if she will be going out with friends – that’s how you know she is cutting you off from her life.
13. SHE NO LONGER ARGUES WITH YOU
On the polar opposite of your wife always arguing with you when she has fallen out of love with you, there is your wife never arguing with you no matter what you do. You no longer get emotional responses from her and she does not even try to scold or “nag” you about anything – especially things that would have guaranteed a scolding in the past. This lets you know that your wife has mentally checked out of the relationship and has left you to your own devices – whatever those may be.
14. SHE NO LONGER ASKS YOU FOR ANYTHING
This is supplementary to the above point. When your wife has mentally checked out of the relationship she no longer feels the need to ask you for anything even when she needs it. She will go out of her way to get it done or ask someone else close to her to do it for her. At this point, she is communicating that she does not need you and she can do anything by herself.
15. SHE TELLS YOU SHE NO LONGER LOVES YOU
The sure way to know if your wife doesn’t love you anymore is if she comes out and tells you – point-blank – that she does not love you anymore. This is usually the last step before she asks you for a divorce. This stage is usually preceded by either one or more than of the other signs that your wife doesn’t love you.
HOW TO DEAL WITH A WIFE THAT HATES YOU
So now that you have found out that your wife hates you, what are the next steps? What do you do when your wife tells you she hates you?
1. FIND OUT WHY SHE HATES YOU
There is usually a reason behind why your wife hates you (it may be more than one). Finding out why she hates you will open up a dialogue between you and your wife that may just save your marriage. When you know what sets off her dislike for you, you might be willing to change and work on yourself for her – and she might be willing to take accountability for herself as well.
2. ASK YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO SALVAGE THE RELATIONSHIP
What do you do when you have found out that your wife hates you? The next step depends on the reasons that your wife gave you for her changed behavior and your willingness to accept that you contributed to said changed behavior.
3. WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE HER STOP HATING YOU
If you feel like you can salvage the relationship, then the first thing you will need to do is to apologize to your wife for not listening to her when she spoke to you, and for taking her for granted for a lot of things. The next step you are going to take is to suggest couples therapy to try and repair your marriage and get back to having a healthy relationship. These two things will make your wife stop hating you and consider working on your relationship if she wants to still be with you.
- How to make my wife love me again after separation
- Signs my separated wife wants to reconcile
- How to reconcile with ex-wife after divorce
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
- Why does my wife hate me?
Unless you are dealing with a sociopath or a Narcissist, there is always a reason why your wife hates you. It could be because you do not appreciate her, you take her for granted, or because you do not keep your word or promises you make to her. These feelings aren’t feelings that appear overnight and out of the blue, usually, these are feelings that have been bubbling under for a while. Finding the root cause for her hatred could be the only way to diffuse her hatred and get the version of the woman you married back.
- What are some signs that your wife doesn’t respect you?
There are many ways you can tell that your wife doesn’t respect you, some of them are: she never listens to what you have to say about anything, she lies to you constantly, she does not put you first in anything – you are sort of an afterthought, and she cheats on you – either openly or secretly. If you notice any of these traits in your partner, chances are they don’t respect you.
In conclusion, it is quite complicated to determine whether or not your wife hates you or if she is just upset with you. You know that your wife hates you when her behavior change lasts for years on end and they only get worse. When you notice these changes, it is advisable to sit with your wife and talk to her before things escalate and she completely falls out of love with you.
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