The first stage when dealing with an annoying husband.

Before you take harsher steps to prevent your annoying husband from being annoying, it is best to try and work out things with him amicably. Here are three (3) things to do before taking drastic steps to stop your annoying husband from being annoying.

• Empathize with him.

Some annoying husbands deserve some empathy. The best way to know if you could give your husband a break is by trying to understand his situation. For example;

Your homely husband has turned into a workaholic recently, and it’s eating you up. He rarely has time for you and the kids, and you wonder whether this new trend signifies something much worse in your relationship. He looks stressed most often and sleeps off while working at home. More annoying is that intimacy is rushed and unsatisfying.

When you look at his situation holistically, it is only reasonable for you to be more patient with your annoying husband. He might be experiencing a lot of work-related or personal stress. Understanding your husband’s dilemma makes you more supportive and goal-oriented in your relationship. 

Whether or not his actions deserve your empathy, you still need to follow through with step two below.

• Call his attention to his annoying behavior. 

A lot of women make two mistakes when it comes to addressing problematic behaviors of their annoying husbands. 

• They expect their husband to know what they did wrong and correct it without telling them. When their expectations are not met, they sulk and act up, making a bad situation worse. Whether or not your annoying husband is aware of his action, be bold enough to speak about the problem and how you want it resolved if you’ve never done so. 

• They communicate the problem poorly and reduce their chances of seeing any behavioral change. Be attentive to what you say, how you say it, and where, and when you say it. Shouting, gossiping, grumbling, sulking, bossing, mocking, publicly shaming, or being rude to your annoying husband is less likely to make him change his behavior.

If you wish to call his attention to a problem properly,

• Pinpoint the main problem and call his attention to it. Stop going round in circles when addressing an issue. You don’t want to give the impression of complaining too much by touching on many unrelated topics. 

• Use the right tone of voice when communicating your grievances. Talk to your husband kindly. Don’t disrespect him by yelling; don’t allow your annoying husband to disrespect you by acting unserious. 

• Mind where and when you call him out. If you call out your husband when he is drunk or emotionally unavailable, your chances of being heard are slim. If you call out your annoying husband in public to embarrass him, you’re most likely to share in the blame of being wrong. 

• Suggest ways to help him deal with the problem.

Marriage is primarily about teamwork. You and your annoying husband have to deal with the problem together, else, it lingers. For example, if your husband does not know how to save, you and your husband could create a fixed deposit account that is inaccessible for a long duration before it matures. If he is a gambler, you could insist on couple therapy, any other intervention, etcetera. 

If there are no behavioral changes after you’ve tried to work out things with your annoying husband, take more drastic steps to resolve his problematic behaviors.

How to prevent annoying husband from being annoying.

It is difficult to prevent an annoying husband from being annoying when his annoying behavior has become second nature to him. However, there are a couple of ways to handle the actions of an annoying husband and get him to cooperate with you.

• Identify ways you might be encouraging his annoying behavior. 

The first thing to do when preventing your annoying husband from being annoying is to identify any behavior of yours that could be encouraging his annoying habits and work on them. Many women are not blameless about their husband’s annoying behavior. Some men are encouraged to continue their annoying behavior because of how their wives handle disagreements. It could be yelling, drinking excessively, being emotionally unavailable, spending more time outside than at home, etcetera. As a wife to an annoying husband, be sure that you are not the author of your problem.

• Renegotiate rules of engagement.   

Renegotiating ways to relate better with your annoying husband will give you a sense of fairness in the relationship and reduce the occurrences of conflicts. You cannot allow yourself to constantly be on the receiving end of your husband’s annoying behavior. You need to set new rules that will help minimize the effect of his annoying behavior on your overall well-being. For example, if your husband complains about spending too much on groceries, you could get him involved in grocery shopping. If he complains about overspending on dates, you could pick up your bills and inform him about your plans to sort your bill well in advance. Ask him to hold his keys if he stays out late for personal reasons. 

•  Allow him to bear the negative consequences of his annoying behavior alone. 

At some point, your annoying husband has to learn the hard way. He needs a taste of his own medicine. Many women feel guilty about letting their annoying husbands bear the consequences of their actions. Sadly, some lessons are learned the hard way. For example, if he gets into embarrassing conflicts with people for womanizing, let him deal with it alone. Or ration meals for everyone to reduce his complaint about grocery spending. So many husbands don’t get the message until you put them in the hot spot they put you all the time. Just don’t make it a habit to treat him like he treats you.

• Leave him. 

If the actions of your annoying husband are affecting your mental health, there are several things you can do about it, and we’ve discussed them in the next section titled ‘how to cope with an annoying husband’. One way to deal with your husband’s unbearing excesses, which he isn’t ready to deal with, is to leave him. Yes, leave your annoying husband and save your mental health. But this should be the last resort if everything else fails. Marriage is not a do-and-die affair, especially when a partner is toxic to your overall health. 

How to cope with an annoying husband.

Managing an annoying husband is difficult but not impossible. 

• Accept your husband for who he is.

Don’t expect your annoying husband to stop being annoying. Accept him for who he is if you wish to stop being surprised and disappointed when he does annoying things. 

• Completely ignore him and his annoying ways. 

Stop giving his actions any mental space if you wish to regain your sanity. Let your annoying husband be. Don’t complain to or anyone associated with him about his behavior; don’t entertain him when he starts being annoying. Usually, men know that they’re walking on a thin thread when their wives no longer care about certain things they do.

• Invest in your mental health, and build a healthy social life. 

Many women bear the burden of their husbands’ annoying ways alone. They keep silent to protect themselves and their marriage from mockery; secondly, they don’t know who to trust. 

If you don’t have a mature and trustworthy person in your life to confide in about your marital stress, it is wise to visit a professional counselor or join social groups for women. Talking about your experiences increases your chance of feeling better. 

• Focus on self-betterment. 

Refocus your mind and energy on doing something that would make you better. Don’t waste it on your annoying husband. Invest in profitable skills, find a job, work harder for a promotion, volunteer, and plan for your children. The great thing about focusing on self-development is that you give yourself and your children more attention while you reduce your propensity to argue with your husband.

• Take a break from your husband.  

Take a week or any length of time away from your annoying husband. You need time to heal and love yourself. Spoil yourself, see new places, meet new people, acquire new tastes, and surround yourself with things and people your love. Spend time away from your husband and do whatever makes you happy.

Frequently Asked Questions.

• How can I deal with an annoying husband?

• Empathize with him
• Call his attention to the problem
• Suggest ways to deal with the problem
• Identify ways that you might be encouraging his annoying behavior and work on it
• Renegotiate rules of engagement.
• Let him bear the negative consequences of his actions alone.
• Leave the relationship.

1. How do I cope with an annoying husband?

• Accept your husband for who he is.
• Completely ignore him and his annoying ways.
• Invest in your mental health and build a healthy social life
• Focus on self-betterment
• Take a break from your husband.

Summary

Annoying husbands are difficult to live with; however, there are steps you can take to manage your annoying husband, and we’ve listed all of them. We hope you find our ideas helpful.