Why Couples Argue over the Small Things - 17 Reasons Why and Ways to Overcome It.

One partner might view the other as being financially irresponsible and because money is needed to buy even small things, arguments might arise when even small amounts need to be spent.

Arguments about money are one of the most heated and can lead to one being spiteful in a relationship which is why a solution needs to be found as soon as possible.

Related: Financial things to do after getting married.

11. Issues with raising the children

A couple with children might often fight as a result of a clash in parenting doctrine as one parent believes they should raise their children one way but the other partner believes in another.

As a result, a situation may arise where they are of different minds about what to do about a small issue that concerns their children. They might react to this by getting into an argument over which direction they should take and because children are always getting into one thing or another, the fighting could be a constant occurrence.

If the source of your arguments with your partner is your children and especially if it is a marriage, you need to find a way to stop fighting with your spouse as a united front is the best strategy to raise children.

12. Jealousy

It is quite possible that a partner could become jealous of the other and their successes in life. If this happens, the jealous partner might increasingly turn to arguments with their partner as a way to express their negative emotions.

This is especially possible if the jealous partner is insecure and has narcissistic tendencies.

If you are more successful than your partner and know them to be insecure, this might be an answer to your question, “why do we always argue?”

Related: How to deal with an insecure man

13. Belief system

There are many stupid things to argue about but one’s belief system is not one of them. This is why people with compatible belief systems must get together so that their belief systems won’t clash.

Partners with different religions, morals, or even political affiliation, tend to see things differently and this can result in them having small fights constantly as a passive-aggressive way to establish their way of life as the dominant one in the relationship.

For instance, one partner could relate a small issue to the inferiority of the other partner’s belief system which would lead to that partner retorting with a jab of their own that would lead to a fight.

4 Ways to stop arguing less

14. Practice self-control

The first lesson on how to stop bickering in a relationship is to practice self-control in situations that could potentially escalate into an argument over something minuscule.

Having self-control will also help you know how to not let things bother you in a relationship. When you feel an argument coming on, you can diffuse the situation by simply refusing to engage.

This will also require you to have a good sense of awareness to feel the argument coming on. Acquiring these skills will not be easy but you can master it with practice.

15. Consider the underlying issues

Another lesson on how to argue less would be to practice some self-introspection to find out the things that trigger you to initiate an argument. Run over the arguments you have had with your partner and isolate your feelings and thoughts just before the argument escalated.

This would help you identify the source of the arguments on your end so that you can then work on it. If however, you are unable to find out the underlying issue on your own, you can always try therapy.

16. Talk to your partner

A very important step in how to not argue in a relationship is to talk it out with your partner. Constantly arguing and bickering in a relationship is not healthy and will lead to the relationship ending.

This cannot change unless you both come to a consensus to do better. You should therefore reach out to your partner so that you both can chart a healthy path forward.

When you both talk, try to avoid sarcastic comments or any tone that might make your partner defensive. Be as empathetic and possible so that you can see things from their perspective then phrase your issues in such a way as not to blame them outrightly.

If things get heated during the talk, you can avoid arguing with your spouse by telling them that you would like to table the discussion for a little while until you both have calmed down. Ensure, however, that you both do come back to the talk.

Related : How to forgive your spouse for past mistakes.

17. Counseling

Going for relationship/ marriage counseling is not a drastic step but a smart one especially when the situation keeps escalating and with therapy being increasingly accessible to people by also being online, getting help is easier than it has ever been.

Therapists are trained to help you know how to stop arguing with your spouse and so they will know the underlying issues to target to help this situation.

It is usually better that you go with your partner for a more effective result. If your partner is refusing to go, however, and you feel as though you are the problem, you can go alone and still get help on how to stop arguing with your husband or wife.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do I stop fighting over little things in my relationship?

• Practice self-introspection to find out what the underlying issues causing these arguments are about.
• Practice self-control when you feel an argument is about to come up and avoid replying in anger. Instead, wait till you’ve calmed down to address things.
• Work on your tone and phrasing so as not to make your partner defensive when you talk to them.
• Talk to your partner about what both of you can do to stop arguing so much
• Go for therapy

2. What does it mean when couples argue a lot?

Couples arguing a lot can either be a good thing or a bad thing. It can be a good thing because it shows that the couple still care about themselves enough to want to let each other know how they feel. Arguing is a normal part of a mature relationship but only when it is not done excessively.

Couples arguing a lot becomes a bad thing when it is done so much that it replaces healthy communication. It is also a bad thing if the argument leads to harsh words and abuse being thrown around.

To be frank, arguing a lot can be a sign of a good relationship so long as partners respect each other during the argument and ensure that it does not replace healthy communication.

3. Is it healthy to argue in a relationship every day?

Arguing every day in a relationship is generally not a good sign because it signifies that arguments are now a normal way of communicating in the relationship.

If this is the case then the relationship in all probability has an expiry date. It is important therefore that you take action if you want to save the relationship by having a talk with your partner on a healthier way forward.

All in All…

Arguing in a relationship can be good if it is done with respect as it shows that you are both just trying to move the relationship forward by making it more accommodating for both of you.

But if you find that you are arguing quite frequently and that you both are saying hurtful things, it might be time to ask yourself, “why do we argue so much?” so that you can get to the root cause of the arguments. This might require some introspection and a talk with your partner or it might require therapy.

Whatever the case, it is important that it is taken care of or it could lead to the demise of your relationship.