How Do You Know If A Guy Likes You Secretly?
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
- Wonder no more about how to tell if a guy secretly likes you. We have decoded all their secrets in this article and give you the 31 sure signs he is secretly attracted to you. This article discusses the body language signs of a guy who likes you but can’t seem to come out to tell you about it.
As a man, who do you admire? (U.S., 2013) Source: Statista
The above chart from a survey seen on Statista on who men admired in America in 2013 will almost make you wonder if men never admire women. Maybe the chart is that way because of the questions they were asked. We cannot speak to the correctness or otherwise of the information on the chart. But make no mistake, men admire women greatly.
For some men, they find it easy to tell a woman they like them when they do. For others, however, they either don’t know how to or find it difficult to muster the courage to do so. And so what they do, is to give off, either consciously or unconsciously, body language signs that they secretly like you.
As a woman though, this can be frustrating and annoying for you. You also cannot understand it. Why can’t he just come out and tell me he likes me, you may be asking yourself. Don’t worry, we already have that answer for you in our sister article on Signs someone is hiding their feelings for you. Be sure to read that article because there we explain the 6 main reasons why guys hide their feelings for you from you, as well as 15 signs a guy is hiding his feelings for you.
In this article, we will show you the other side of the coin of a guy who secretly likes you. We will be exposing the body language of a guy who likes you. Guys may try to do a good job of hiding their feelings, but the one thing they cannot hide is body language. Learn all about the body language signs of a guy who likes you, so that you are no longer left guessing about whether he secretly loves and wants you.
Check out our other helpful related articles on 21 Worrying signs he misses his ex wife, and 19 Positive signs your husband loves you deeply.
How To Know If A Guy Secretly Likes You – 31 Things Guys Do When They Secretly Like You.
Table of Contents
You may read some of these signs and actually laugh at them because it will amaze you some of the crazy, and sometimes silly things a guy will do when he has the hots for you. You just wonder to yourself, why would they torture themselves so when they can just be brave and say it out. But it isn’t always easy, especially when the guy in question is shy. So read on for these surefire signs that he secretly likes you
1. He finds everything you say funny and always smiles at you and with you during your conversations.
Have you ever noticed that everyone else may not laugh at everything you said because well, it wasn’t that funny? But then there’s this one guy who found it so hilarious. He laughed so hard even you couldn’t understand why because you know the joke wasn’t that funny. Lol. Well, he wasn’t laughing just because. He genuinely saw it as very funny because he secretly likes you a lot. When a guy secretly likes you, everything you say is amazing and funny, even if they may not always be funny.
And on the other side, he always seems to be grinning from ear-to-ear every time you’re together. He can’t seem to help himself but he’s always smiling whenever you’re around. You never feel heavy or down when you hang out with him. This is no coincidence. He has made it his mission to ensure that the beautiful smile he loves seeing, never leaves your face.
You may also like this article on 29 Sweet things to say to your boyfriend to make him happy.
2. He likes seeing you laugh at the things he says.
On the other side of finding the things you say funny, you will find that he makes the extra effort to sound funny. And even if you do not find all the jokes funny, just getting you to laugh at even one or two will make him the happiest man. Men love seeing the women they love smile. Just knowing he is the source of your laughter does amazing things to him that you can’t even begin to imagine.
So when you see that guy coming up with many “funny” things and getting a kick out of your laughter, have no doubt, he secretly likes you.
You will also like these articles on Things a girl wants to hear from her boyfriend and How to make your girlfriend smile to keep that laughter and smile coming.
3. The tone of his voice when he speaks to you is different.
This one can be a little funny and interesting. So, depending on his personality, he can do one of two things. If he is generally a shy guy, he would change the tone of his voice to sound a little deeper than usual. He’s trying to show you he’s manly enough because it is believed that women do not pay much attention to a guy who doesn’t have a deep voice. And this is true. A deep voice commands authority and unspoken respect and makes people want to listen. And that shy guy that secretly likes you know this. And so, to get your attention, he changes his voice to take on a little deeper tone.
The second variant is the confident guy. This guy already has somewhat of a deep voice so he doesn’t have to try so hard. But what he will do is to raise his voice above the rest of the guys/people around so that you can notice his voice and pay attention to it. He may even decide to monopolize conversations and laugh the hardest and loudest so that you can see/take notice of him.
4. He follows your body movement and is in sync with it when you’re talking.
This one is somewhat wired in our DNA. As social animals, we tend to imitate the movements and actions of the leaders or people we follow and admire. And this also happens when a guy secretly likes you. He may start to follow your body language and movement when you talk. In some cases, you may find he crosses his legs when you do. Or if you lean forward a little, he may unconsciously do the same thing. His body movement seems like it’s in sync with yours. And he may not even realize he is doing this. When next you are talking with him pay attention to how synchronized his body movement is with yours
5. He “mistakenly” always touches you.
Touch for a guy is a bigger deal than it is for a lady. Guys generally keep their hands to themselves because they are also aware that with so many cases of sexual harassment, they could find themselves in trouble if a touch is misunderstood. But this does not stop a guy when he really likes a woman. He would always “accidentally” touch her. It could be an “accidental” brush against her arm or some other “accident” that ensures he makes some form of body contact with you.
If you however find this uncomfortable, you must immediately make it clear that you are not okay with it. But if you are also into him, it’s a good time to reciprocate the touch. He is trying to get comfortable around you by initiating such “accidental” body contact.
6. He looks for excuses to intentionally touch you with your permission.
Things like “removing” a strand of your hair from your face, or taking off something that accidentally fell on you or your face. This one will happen when you’re having a serious or any other type of conversation. He may say something like “there’s something on your hair, can I help you take it off? This is a sign in itself that he can’t seem to take his eyes off you.
7. He is always looking for excuses to hug you.
It has to be said though that there are guys who are huggers by nature. The difference between that type of general hug and the “I secretly like you” hug is that the latter is a little more intimate and longer than your usual hug.
You will notice that he gives you a full-body hug and lingers just a little, almost like he doesn’t want to let go, and almost like he’s trying to savor as much of you as possible. And when he eventually let go, you can sense the reluctance.
Sometimes, he may let go so close to your face and particularly your lips that it feels like he wants to kiss you. And the truth is he wants to, but he knows he can’t. Coming that close to you is the only comfort he can get.
8. He may appear nervous and a little fidgety.
This is another body language a guy who secretly likes you can’t help himself with. You may find that his eyes are all over the place or he seems to be stepping a little from one foot to another. He may find something to be playing with, in his hands. Your presence unnerves him because of the strong feelings of attraction he has for you, and this is why he is a little fidgety and restless. A guy who does not like you in that way will be able to be focused and undistracted when you are talking.
9. He stands angled towards you rather than away from you.
Pay attention to how he stands when you are together. Does he stand towards you or away from you? Standing towards you shows he’s fully engaged with you and wants to be close to you. He stands in this way because he finds you attractive. Standing angled away from you on the other hand means he is disinterested and not attracted to you in that way.
10. He stares at you but looks away shyly if you catch him.
This one is another funny one. When a guy is mesmerized by a lady he can’t seem to help himself but admire her. He does this by staring at her and trying to take in all her features because he is truly captivated by it.
You may accidentally look up to find his eyes on you. You will catch a tenderness in that look, but almost immediately he looks away. He almost behaves like a little boy whose hands were caught in the cookie jar. He looks away and hopes you didn’t catch the look of tenderness and admiration in his eyes while they were on you.
11. He likes being close to you when you’re together.
Have you noticed that when you are either standing or sitting together, he is almost always inching closer to you? He is almost too close to you, and sometimes too close for comfort. In some really bad cases, even when you move away a little, he consciously or subconsciously still moves close to you. And unless you move away from the spot, he wouldn’t even budge and would remain rooted to the spot. Being close to you gives him an excitement and adrenaline rush that he loves. It’s almost like being around you is a drug he enjoys.
If you are uncomfortable with this body language, move away from where he is to another corner of the room. If he still follows you, immediately look for help from someone around because it becomes a little predatory and unhealthy.
If however, you are also into him, it will be a good time to move closer and maybe help him by starting a light conversation and seeing where the rest goes, and who knows it might just be the start of something exciting.
12. His pupils widen/dilate and his eyebrows are arched/up.
This one is also inbuilt in our DNA as humans. And you also have to admit that this happens to you as a woman. You know that when that hot guy you fancy walks into a room, it’s like your whole body is set on fire. And the part of your body that reacts the most is your eyes and facial features.
The same way your eyes cannot help but widen when you see that hot guy you like, is the same way it happens to a guy when he secretly likes you. The moment you walk in, his facial features immediately light up and his pupils and eyebrows immediately take those positions because he cannot get over your awesomeness.
13. His eyes are almost always on you.
Think about it. Almost every time you look up it’s like he’s looking directly at you. It feels like you’re the only person in the room. He may look around at everything or everyone else, but his eyes always come back to you. This is because he can’t help it or himself. He is secretly taken by you and he wants to learn as much as he can about you by looking at you as much as he can.
And when you catch him, he may smile and look away briefly. Or he may shyly look away immediately.
If you want to be naughty and drive him bananas, when next you look up and see his eyes on you, give him a naughty wink, give him your most “innocent” smile, and look away. It will drive him wild. Or stick your tongue out to him in a very playful way. He won’t know what to do with himself. But only do this if you fancy him back or you will be sending him the wrong message.
14. He makes the extra effort to listen to you and looks intently at you as you speak.
Guys generally try to be active listeners but the difference between the guy that is an active listener and the one that secretly likes you is in how they listen. The guy who is an active listener is there with you but his whole body does not necessarily have to show that he is listening. He may even look like he’s distracted and is standing away from you. This is not so for the guy who secretly likes you. He’s there with you with every part of his body.
You can tell that he’s hanging on every word you say because his face never leaves yours as you’re talking. He is listening intently, mimicking some of your facial expressions and the sounds you make as you talk. He comes in at just the right time with the right “oh’s” and “yes” and “really”. This guy looks really animated and taken by you.
15. He makes the extra effort to look good when you guys hang out.
You may notice that he went the extra mile with his hair. He even looks like he bought a new shirt. He is always looking a little more prim and proper every time you guys meet. And if you’re being honest, you have to admit that he does look hot. But hey how can you admit that right? Because it would also mean you fancy him? Oops (lol).
And if you fancy him back, compliment him on how dashing and hot he looks. The fact that you noticed and complimented him will tell him that you noticed and will give him some hope that you also fancy him, even if a little.
16. You may find him looking you up and down with admiration, almost like he’s checking you out.
This is another unconscious thing we do as humans when we fancy someone. As a woman, you quickly look at his shoes, his clothes, and his watch, and then how he wears his hair. And this is done in a quick flash. It’s the same thing with guys.
Watch how he observes you when you walk into the room. He may quickly look you up starting from down and then up and finally rests on your face. This happens so quickly you almost wonder if you saw him do that. And you know he likes what he saw when you see his eyebrows arch up and a quick smile flashed across his face.
Sometimes you can also feel his gaze on you when you turn to walk out. He’s so mesmerized by you he can’t help but stare at you from the back too. If you by chance turn back, you will catch his stare and you will also notice how quickly he moves his eyes furtively across everywhere, in hopes that you did not catch him in the act.
17. He comments on your appearance and notices any small changes you make to your appearance.
After checking you out, you will be amazed at even the smallest things he notices, things that the ordinary guy who has no interest in you will not pay attention to. And he notices these small things because he’s been looking at you every chance he gets, taking note of all details about you.
18. You may catch him staring at your lips.
This may make him sound like a pervert but it’s not in that way. And if we’re being honest, even ladies do this with guys they secretly like. You are both talking and he’s really paying attention to you, but then you also occasionally find that his eyes have moved away from your eyes and are on your lips.
Now for most guys when this happens they momentarily forget themselves and let their eye linger there for a bit because at the moment their eyes rest on your lips they are already imagining what it would feel like against theirs. And so when you find that it’s lingered there for too long, best believe he is already kissing you in his mind/head.
If you find this very uncomfortable, you can clear your throat to bring him back to earth and give him a quizzed look at the same time to show your disapproval. He will hopefully get the hint and not repeat it again or at least be more controlled about it.
If on the other hand you are comfortable with it and fancy him too, you can flirtatiously and subtly lick your lips. And give a wicked but “innocent” grin. This would make his knees crumble.
19. Or he may occasionally bite his lower lip when talking to you or even go as far as licking them subtly.
This is the flipside of him staring at your lips. You may notice that he either bites his lower lips because he’s super nervous being so close to you and talking with you. When he does the subtle licking of his lips, it’s not always because he’s turned on and wants to kiss you, although there’s that too. The other reason is that his mouth and throat may be dry because that’s just how taken by you he is.
20. His face lights up and he smiles every time he sees you.
Have you noticed how when you walk in he seems to have an extra special smile reserved for you? Everyone is happy to see you of course, but he seems to be the happiest. Everyone will give you a warm smile but he gives you the biggest and warmest smile of them all.
You might even notice that he may have been quiet before you came in, but suddenly he is more talkative by the time you arrive. You’re his drug and he can’t help but become more cheerful when you’re around.
21. He’s playful around you and enjoys teasing you a lot.
He enjoys being around you so much that he pokes you a lot. He bumps you a lot and just plain loves teasing you. It’s like being around you brings out the inner child in him. That’s no accident. He secretly likes you a lot and can’t help but play with you. If you enjoy it and don’t mind it, you can indulge him, especially if you fancy him too.
22. He doesn’t mind taking long walks with you and even when you get to your destination it feels like he wants to stay/hang out longer.
This is another classic one. He enjoys spending time with you and learning all he can about you. Sometimes these walks are taken at a much slower pace than your normal walks, and that’s because he doesn’t want it to come to an end quickly. You may also notice that when you get to your destination, he is not ready to say goodbye, and rather brings up something else to keep the conversation going.
If you secretly also like him and this happens for the second or third time, you can invite him for a cup of coffee if the final destination happens to be your place and if you’re comfortable with it. And you never know, it could just be the start of something great. It has to be said though that you only extend that invitation when this happens for a second or third time, and not when it happened the first time. You also don’t want to make it too easy for him.
23. If you were walking together and had to cross the road, he may find himself unconsciously taking your hands to help you.
And this is because he is subconsciously tuned to protect you given his attraction to you. When he isn’t sure of where he stands with you, you will notice that when he realizes his instinctive action, he also instinctively takes back his hands immediately because he is not sure how you’ll take it. If you don’t mind it, you can encourage him by letting him take your hands.
Check out this article on What does holding hands mean to a guy, it tells you what you holding his hands means to him.
24. When you take a walk he wants you to walk on the inside of the sidewalk while he walks on the outside.
This is another one of the protective body language signs guys display when they are with someone they love and/or care about. Because men are wired to protect the ones they love, when he secretly likes you, he wants to shield and protect you from danger at every corner. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk is his way to protect you from getting hit by any obstacle.
25. He is always quick to pay the bill when you guys go out.
Is he always quick to take the tab with the excuse that you’ll get the next one, except even the next one he’s still paying? Yup, he definitely likes you very much. By always offering to pay, he’s trying to show you that he can take care of you if you let him.
26. If you’re walking with some things, he would offer to carry them.
Although this one can be tricky because some guys are truly perfect gentlemen and were trained to always help a lady when she’s carrying anything. How you can tell with this sign though is that even the smallest item that you don’t need help with, he still wants to carry it. It’s like he treats you like porcelain and does not want you to stress yourself at all. If he could even carry your handbag, he would offer to carry it.
27. For some guys, they brag. They are trying to impress you.
Actually, all guys will brag, but some will be more in your face about it than others. The shy guy will occasionally tell you something cool he’s doing but won’t be too effusive about it or be so direct about it. He wants you to see that he’s a pretty awesome catch. The very proud and alpha male type guy will proudly throw out all his accolades to you. If he has so many cars, he will tell you about it. If he makes so much he will also tell you about it. This may even turn you off because you think he is a braggart. He is doing that because he fancies you and thinks that by showing you all his accolades you will be impressed and give him a chance.
28. He opens doors for you and pulls out chairs for you to sit down.
How sweet right?! Yeah we think so too. And no, he does not do that for every lady. Only the lady that he secretly likes will he go to those lengths for.
29. His friends tease him when you enter the room.
Girl when you see this sign especially, just know the dude secretly likes you a lot. And he’s told all his friends about you, and so they know about you and know that he also likes you very much. When you come in and they start snickering at him and embarrassing him, you have your answer. But to keep them fooled, you can pretend you didn’t notice, except you did.
30. In a group, he still manages to single you out and speaks almost solely with you.
And even when there are other ladies in a group, you’re the only one he wants to talk the most with. It’s like he wants to retain the monopoly over you. You will also pick up that other people in the group have also picked up on this trend. And so, what often tends to happen is that other people in the group tend to respect his monopoly over you, and will give him that space.
31. He sulks if you spend more time talking to another guy in a group.
This is classic jealousy. He cannot understand why you would even be talking with other guys when you’re supposed to be his. And yet, you are not even an item. When a man likes a woman, he becomes possessive over her and sees other men as potential threats. And when you are busy spending time with those potential threats instead of him, his fear is heightened.
If you peradventure then laugh at what that other guy or guys are saying, if you steal a glance across to where he’s standing, you will notice how tense he is. He may even have a scowl on his face. That is how badly he has the hots for you.
The fact that another guy is making you do something he sees as his sole preserve makes him feel very threatened. You may notice him storm out or walk out of the place because he really can’t stand your being with another guy and laughing at what that guy is saying.
Check out this related article on 17 Ways how to not be a jealous girlfriend.
Frequently Asked Questions.
- How to know if a shy guy likes you secretly?
The 31 signs in this article are even more pronounced with shy guys. You will see all these 31 signs; he won’t be able to hide them very well.
- How to know if someone likes you without talking to them?
Observe their body language when you’re in the same vicinity. You will notice that they will display most, if not all the 31 body language signs listed in this article.
- What are the body language signs a guy likes you?
You will see most, if not all, the 31 signs listed in this article. But if you see just one or two of these signs, then it is not enough indication that he likes you.
- How do you know if a guy secretly likes you online?
When it comes to the online world, it is not very easy to know or tell when or if a guy secretly likes you because they are not physically present for you to read their body language. But a few things that may, (and this is a big may) indicate he secretly likes you are the following:
- He responds to your messages on time;
- He compliments you every chance he gets;
- He always looks for an excuse to chat with you online even over small inconsequential things;
- He gives you unsolicited information about himself. The keyword here being “unsolicited”; and
- He’s always interested in your wellbeing.
Now that you know all the signs he secretly likes you and wants you, it is up to you to decide what to do about it. Guys who give these secret signs they like you generally do so because they are shy or afraid of being rejected by you. If he gives you at least half of these signs or more, you can be sure he really does like you secretly.
If you also like him secretly, why not also reciprocate his body language and gestures too. And if you feel he is taking too long to come out with how he feels, you can take the bold step of telling him how you feel. And if you need a little help, our articles on How to ask a guy what he wants from you, How to ask a guy how he feels about you, and How to make your intentions clear to a guy provide very helpful insights and tips.
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