7 Tips on how to be Flirty on Tinder

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

Keep It Short and Sweet

Imagine you have just been matched with someone attractive. You may feel intimidated or not even know what to say. If you have trouble flirting on Tinder, you may be sending too many paragraphs. One or two lines are the perfect message length when you first match someone on Tinder. If you message your Tinder match with a section of unrelatable information, your match will ignore you. If you want to learn how to be flirty on Tinder, be aware of the length of your message. Be concise, and complimentary.


Learn how to Engage 

There is a balance when it comes to flirting on Tinder. You don’t want to overshare and send a message that’s too long. However, as you keep things short and sweet, you don’t want to come across as disengaged. One-word replies are not satisfactory if you are practicing how to be flirty on Tinder.  If someone asks you a question, do not respond with a yes or no. Always try to find out more about your match. If you are one-note and don’t engage with the other person, your match will ignore you. 


If you are struggling to engage with your matches on Tinder, you may be paying more attention to yourself than to them. If someone asks you what your plans are for the weekend, don’t just tell them what’s going on in your life. Give your Tinder match some insight on your plans for the weekend, and then ask them what they’re doing. Keep the conversation going by, including anecdotes. If your Tinder match says they’re going bowling with friends, try telling them about the time you bowled a perfect game or any other experience related to what they share with you. Engaging in conversations like this will help you connect with your Tinder match, making it easier for your personality to show. 


Don’t Open With “Hey”

If you want to take matters into your own hands by messaging first, the last thing you should open with is “Hey.” First impressions on online dating platforms are important. The best thing you could do is to compliment your Tinder match. Suppose you want to learn how to write a flirty message on Tinder, open with a compliment. Show your Tinder match that you have read their profile. There may be something on your Tinder match’s profile that they’re dying to discuss with you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but don’t be a creep by coming on too strong. If you feel the need to be overly sexual or make inappropriate jokes, you will not find any success on Tinder. 


Don’t Be A Creep 

Imagine you’ve just matched with someone on Tinder who seems like they’re totally out of your league. You want to message first, but you want to play it cool. Flirting on Tinder can be exciting and nerve-wracking. Don’t lose your cool; follow these rules on how to be flirty on Tinder, and you should be going on a first date with your crush in no time. 

  1. Don’t ask for a date right away. 

Your Tinder match needs time to get to know you. Remember, you are messaging solely on a dating platform. Your Tinder match cannot hear your voice, make eye contact, or pick up body language.  Give your Tinder match time to pick up on the vibes before you start to flirt heavily or ask for a date. 

  1. Flirt in intervals 

If you’re learning how to write flirty messages on Tinder, pay attention to timing. Flirt in intervals, and space it out. Following this tip will give your match time to feel comfortable reciprocating the flirtatious messages. When you feel like your Tinder match matches your energy, ask for their number, and seal the deal. 

  1. Do not send a sexually explicit message to anyone on Tinder. 

We cannot stress how important it is not to send sexually explicit messages on Tinder. There is a very fine line between flirting on Tinder and sexual harassment. Asking Tinder matches what they’re wearing or making inappropriate sexual advancements will get you blocked and reported. 

  1. Ask questions, but nothing too personal. 

You may be curious about the new person that’s matched with you. Asking questions is a great way to get to know your new match. Remember, you can creep them out if you’re too forthcoming with your questions. Keep things basic by asking about weekend plans, favorite foods, movies, or activities. Asking questions such as place of employment, home address, and sexual history is a huge Tinder no-no. 

  1. Be Positive

Nobody wants to match with someone who seems like a Negative Nancy. If you are having trouble flirting on Tinder, it may be because your profile sucks. Does your bio include phrases like: 

  • “Nobody’s real on here anyway.” 
  • “Fluent in sarcasm.”
  • “No fat chicks” 
  • “You should message me only if you aren’t two-faced like most girls on here.” 

Phrases like these are huge red flags that you may not be aware of. If you find yourself being negative on Tinder, your potential for finding a match is low. Your profile may need a makeover before you can start flirting on Tinder. Take a look at your pictures, bio, and overall vibe. Are you portraying your full potential? Would you date you if the roles were reversed? 


Looking at your Tinder profile frequently will help you build a better self-image. It’s important to look at yourself from a different perspective.


Ask About Expectations 

Before using what you have learned here on how to be flirty on Tinder, you must know your Tinder match’s expectations from using the app. Perhaps after making some small talk, you could ask your Tinder match what they hope to gain from using a dating platform. A simple “So what brings you to Tinder?” is a simple way to learn why your match is on Tinder in the first place. 


Keep in mind that the answers will vary wildly. Everyone has their reasons for joining a dating platform like Tinder. According to a survey from LendEDU, only 4.2% of users are looking for a relationship. Compared to the 22.2% of users who are using Tinder to find a hookup partner, it is clear that you should manage your expectations when using Tinder. Using clear communication on Tinder before you begin to flirt will lead to a much better user experience.


As you learn how to write flirty messages on Tinder, keep your role in your match’s life. Tinder has a reputation for being a hookup app. Many people use Tinder for quick flings and short-term relationships that won’t turn serious. This fact does not overshadow the fact that many people find love on Tinder; it is just less common than sites like Match.com and eHarmony. Know the expectations of your match before you send a flirty message on Tinder. You don’t want to waste your energy flirting with someone who just wants to hook up when looking for a relationship. Communicate your expectations with your Tinder match before you send a flirty message. 


Make sure you’re managing your expectations before entering any kind of relationship. Check out this article if you want to stop expectations from ruining your relationship. 


Answer Messages Promptly

No one wants to be ignored. If you are looking to learn how to be flirty on Tinder successfully, you must pay attention to timing. If you are speaking with a potential match on Tinder, try not to leave their message unanswered for more than a day. Many people unmatch with those who are unable to keep a conversation. Do you blame them? If you can’t hold a conversation through messages, how will you interact successfully in person? Let the Tinder match you are interested in answering their messages on time and engaging in discussion with interest. 


Drop Hints about a First Date 

If you want to learn how to flirt on Tinder successfully, you will need to get somewhere with your flirting. It may seem difficult, but you can flirt and plan a date simultaneously. If your Tinder match has a picture of them at a bowling alley or doing something a similar activity, ask them if that’s their idea of a good future date. Your match’s response to this will give you an idea if they’re interested in meeting up with you in person or not. 


You could also try these examples as a way to send flirty messages on Tinder: 


  • “I’m enjoying talking to you. I’d love to go on a date with you to talk more.” 
  • “You seem stylish. I may have to upgrade my wardrobe before deciding on our first date.” 
  • “So I see you like to fish. Do you mind teaching me how, someday?”

If you are struggling to connect with your matches, we hope this Tinder flirting guide has helped you learn how to be flirty on Tinder. As you go forward with the dating process, be easy on yourself. Dating is hard, and dating online is even harder. You will express a broad range of emotions when you begin to flirt on Tinder. You will be ignored, let down, and humbled as you swipe left and right. However, with nothing ventured, there is nothing gained. So go forth and send a flirty message on Tinder. Who knows, your match may just light a fire! 




  • How can I be flirty on Tinder?
    • If you want to learn to be flirty on Tinder, you need to keep it simple. People like to talk about themselves. Don’t be afraid to ask open-ended questions that let your Tinder match be free to express their personality. Try not to ask anything too personal at first. Open with a compliment, and show that you’ve taken the time to read their profile. Ask funny questions, and keep things lighthearted. 
  • How can I become flirty?
    • No one can inherently become flirty. If you struggle to flirt in your dating life, you may just not know how to communicate with innuendo. If you want to become flirty, you should just be yourself, but add in some jokes or wisecracks that show your interest. When in doubt, compliment the other person. 
  • How to make a girl like you?
    • As you enter the dating world, you will find that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea. If you want to make a girl like you, you’ll need to be confident in yourself first. You’ll need to find your self-confidence before you can write flirty to a girl or boy on Tinder. Of course, this is easier said than done. However, you’ll never make someone fall in love with you if you’re using a borrowed personality. 

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