How to Show Your Best Friend You Love Her

Showing affection

You were thinking about how to tell your best friend you like her, so you thought it would be good to show affection with kind gestures, gifts, etc. You even considered giving your crush a gift secretly. We might agree that showing affection like that can be a great introduction to your confession. However, if you’re friends for a long time, she might not think of your acts as romantic ones. You can’t easily “show” her love because she’s so used to you as a friend and she wouldn’t notice. It would be really hard for her to interpret your sudden attention as a sign of romantic attraction.

That’s why it’s best that you “test the waters” with subtle flirting. Shake things up and she might change her perception of you. You can even court her in some ways. For example, give her compliments about her appearance. If she responds by lightly flirting back, you can proceed to the next step. If she seems uncomfortable, maybe you should break the tension in a jokingly manner, so she won’t take you seriously.

Direct approach

The best way of telling a female friend you like her is to be direct and honest. There’s no way around it. When every subtle hint you gave her, left unnoticed, it’s time to sit face-to-face and have “the talk”. Come up with the plan, gather up the courage and go for it.

Find an appropriate opportunity

This conversation will be tough for both of you, so you should make her feel comfortable as much as you can. That’s why it’s crucial to pick a time when neither of you has other issues to worry about.

Don’t tell her about your feelings if she’s going through a difficult period in her life, for example having troubles at home, work, or school. You should also avoid telling her if she has just gotten out of a major relationship. She would get confused and, in the best-case scenario, you would only be a rebound.

Choose the opportunity carefully because stress can influence her reaction. You won’t get an adequate answer if she’s under pressure from anything at all.

Find a convenient place

Bring your best friend somewhere private when you decide to tell her about your feelings. You don’t have to be completely isolated, of course, but you need to find a quiet place where you both can be comfortable in sharing intimate thoughts. You don’t want to be overheard when talking or, even worse, interrupted.

Be calm and collected

We know that “be relaxed” advice is not greatly appreciated. It’s easier said than done, right? However, you need to be calmed so you can express everything you want in the right way. Don’t let butterflies in your stomach stop you.

Plan what you would say and keep a few possible scenarios in your mind. Practice in front of the mirror what you’re going to say ten times and more if you need to. That should help you ease the nervousness a bit.

Be honest and direct

This isn’t called a direct approach without a reason. Don’t beat around the bush and tell her straight away what you feel. Stalling won’t get you anywhere and it will just waste your time.

Think about what you are going to say beforehand.  Phrase it as you think it would be for the best, but be sure to speak “from the heart”. Keep it simple and avoid hasty expressions of emotions. Trust us, after you go through with this, you’ll be relieved. Let that be your encouragement.

Give her a convenient way out

The most important thing about this conversation, besides, of course, telling her what you feel, is not pressuring her to make a decision. You’ll need to give her “a way out” if she doesn’t feel the same. It’s simple: just mention that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to get together and that you’ll be there for her as a friend. When you don’t put pressure, it’s more likely she’ll give you an honest answer.

Keep the conversation light

Save big, dramatic displays of emotions for movies. In real life, you should try to do your best to make the conversation less stressful and tense than it needs to be. Keep the friendly, lighthearted tone you always use when talking to her.

Love statements could be saved for another time. Suddenly saying you love her is just a bit scary. Especially if she doesn’t have any clue about your feelings. Her world would turn upside down. Instead, tell her that you like her and see her as more than a friend. You might want to wait to use the word “love” once you started dating.

Thing to avoid

• We already mentioned that you shouldn’t press your best friend to make a decision right away. Tell her that it’s alright if she needs some time to think.
• Don’t tell your friend about your feelings when you’re drunk. You wouldn’t be in control of the situation and you could say something you regret afterward. Gather up the courage and confidence to share your feelings when you’re sober.
• You should invite your friend on a date only after (or if) you establish a romantic connection. Making a candlelit dinner for a best friend is awkward and it wouldn’t achieve anything.
• If you give her time and space to think, try to act as you did before. Don’t call her more often than usual because that would just seem needy.

If she doesn’t feel the same

We hear a lot of people say: “I’m in love with my best friend but she doesn’t feel the same”. Let’s not pretend this is an easy situation. When you tell your best friend you like her, it forces her to re-think the way she looks at you. If she comes to a conclusion she doesn’t want to be with you, that doesn’t mean you’re not “good enough”. It just means she doesn’t think of you in that way. Maybe she doesn’t want to be in a relationship at all.

When she rejects the idea of a romance, you shouldn’t give up on the friendship. Give yourself time to get over her and when emotions settle down, you’ll move on to the new romantic possibilities. Then, you can work on your disrupted friendship. Take things slowly, so you can both figure out where your friendship stands. Of course, it wouldn’t ever be the same relationship as you used to have, but it won’t be worse.  

Conclusion

We hope that now you know how to show your best friend you love her. You might not have everything figured out yet, but we’re sure you’re on the right way. Take one step at a time and you’ll notice your confidence will increase. Believe in yourself, try your best, and don’t stress too much about the things you can’t control.