“Your value does not depreciate or appreciate when your husband looks at other women. His self-control and loyalty are what’s questionable.”

Many articles have discussed why men look at other women without proffering solutions on how to deal with the issue. However, in this article, we’ve provided five (5) effective ways to stop your husband from looking at other women. 

How to control husband’s wandering eyes

Some women say it is ok for their husbands to look at other women as far as he doesn’t go beyond that. Not all of us agree, not because we are extremely jealous and insecure; instead, we expect some respect from our husbands. 

It is annoying and disrespectful when you have a husband that keeps looking at other women in your presence. It is telling of his lack of self-control. More importantly, his actions could send the wrong message to other people. But is it possible to stop your husband from staring at other women?

Kodak Lens Vision Centre states that the average man spends almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women. By implication, men spend an average of 259 hours looking at women each year, marieclaire. 

Many men in committed relationships find it difficult to stop looking at women. It is often said that staring at women is instinctive or part of a man’s psychology. A man’s brain is wired to look at pretty women because they are likely to be fertile to help him increase his reproductive chances. Whether or not staring at women is a mating instinctive or learned behavior, many of us would love our men to get a grip of their wandering eyes when hanging out with us. 

If you are sure that your husband stares at women very often and you want him to get a grip, or better yet, go about his staring more creatively, here are 9 ways to stop your husband from looking at other women. 

• Talk to him about it.

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You might be scared of giving off the impression of being jealous, but you don’t have to worry about that now. You need to address the situation, and the first step to dealing with your husband looking at other women is to have a respectful conversation with your husband. Your husband might not be aware that he is looking at other women and might not know how his actions make you feel. 

Find a good time and ask, “Honey, why is it that every time we go out, you keep staring at other women?”. A question like this will throw him off balance because it is an uncomfortable question to answer; therefore, expect him to wiggle his way out of it. 

The flow of the conversation depends on how you choose to carry him along despite the answer he gives. He might swerve and turn and not answer the question directly but make sure he doesn’t derail the conversation. Instead of getting into an argument with your husband, you can decide to let him understand how his actions make you feel and the impression you are worried that his action might be giving to other people. 

If you are too emotional about the conversation, you could end it or change the topic. If you would address the issue better in text form, go ahead. Wait for your husband’s response. If he doesn’t respond, do not bother about the issue again. 

Letting your husband know the implication of his action will make him more aware of it when hanging out with you next time. Many husbands panic when they know their wives are watching their gazes. They become more careful at looking at other women. If your husband isn’t cautious about looking at other women in your presence after you’ve told him how it makes you feel, he doesn’t care.

• Give a compliment about the lady he is staring at. 

A second way to call his attention when he looks at a woman is to give a compliment about the woman he is looking at. Some people might call this move petty, but that’s their business. You have two choices when you see your husband look at other women in your presence. You can ignore your husband when he looks at other women or call his attention to it. If making your husband aware of his actions makes you a petty lady, so be it. After all, you have a man who needs more self-control with the way he is drooling over other women’s features. 

If you notice his gaze at the lady’s ass, you could give an honest compliment about the ask and ask if he wants it since he has been staring at it for a long time. Keep the conversation civil, unless you don’t mind embarrassing yourself and your husband in public. 

“She has some nice ass, doesn’t she? The way you’ve been looking at it, you sure want it. But you’re stuck with my ass, honey.”

• Invest in your physical appearance. 

Many women forget about being cute the moment their marriage passes the honeymoon phase and start to reproduce in their marriage. This is a marital crime that could breed many unforeseen consequences. Do not stop looking cute for yourself, your children, and your husband. And guess what, other men out there should be able to admire you too as much as your husband admires other women.

If looking at cute women is a mating instinct for men, be rest assured that other men are admiring your cute self. Keep your husband on his toes by investing in what you wear, how your skin looks and feels, and how you comport yourself at home and publicly. Men are attracted to women they perceive as valuable.

If looking at other women is not a crime for men, it shouldn’t be a crime for women to be men’s magnets. Other men should find you attractive even if you do not entertain them, which should send a clear message to your husband. 

Your husband should always realize that while he looks at other women, other men find you equally desirable to be with. Your husband will be careful not to stray too far.

• Ignore your husband. 

There are many immature husbands, and you could be married to one. An immature husband could look at other women to make his wife jealous. Analyze the man you are married to and be sure that he isn’t playing some childish game with you. The naggier you become about your husband looking at other women, the more you empower his annoying habit if he is an immature husband. You could even be married to a narcissist whose sole ambition is to cripple your psychological well-being. A narcissist will feel pleasure hearing you complain about him looking at other women. Even if your husband isn’t a narcissist, we could be right that he derives some pleasure in making you insecure, annoyed, and clingy in the marriage. 

Focus on becoming more valuable to yourself and your children if you want the upper hand in your marriage. When your husband realizes that your attention is no longer rewarding his childishness, when he notices that he stands a higher chance of losing you and the children because of how goal-driven you’ve become, he will start to respect himself.  

• Invest in your relationship with your husband. 

Many men look at other women with genuine interest to pursue them when their needs are not met in marriage. Your best bet at finding out whether your husband’s action stems from a long-standing dissatisfaction in the marriage is to evaluate your relationship honestly and begin to put in the needed work. 

There are several reasons why a man starts to look at other women as better alternatives to his wife;

1. Loss of physical attraction towards wife. 

Believe it or not, some husbands get shocked at their wife’s body transformation after marriage. Some husbands no longer bother telling their wives to lose weight because they get emotionally guilt trapped by their wives whenever the topic arises. They are also afraid to let their wives know they are losing attraction for them because of how fat they are becoming. Their best bet at resolving their marital crisis is to keep getting high by looking at other women’s bodies. 

Note that a man could also lose physical attraction for his wife based on many factors. For example, some men lose attraction for their wives because of their fashion sense, or they are still scarred from the childbirth experience. You need to converse with your husband to know what’s up. Check out signs your husband deeply loves you if you are in doubt.

• Sex deprived in marriage.

Many husbands start looking at other women when they are sex-deprived in their marriage for an extended period. It could also be because their wives are not adventurous in bed. If you married a wild and hungry man, you need to know how best to satisfy him; else, he becomes a wanderer waiting for the next best opportunity to have sex with another woman.

• A desire to be respected in marriage. 

So many women underestimate their husband’s need for respect in marriage. They become too overfamiliar with him and talk to him any way they want without realizing the long-term consequences of their actions. Sadly for them, their husband begins to nurse the idea of starting his life with another pretty woman who would be more respectful to him. 

When you catch your husband looking at another woman, he might be fantasizing about the kind of relationship he will have with a woman like her. 

• His desire for you to contribute meaningfully to the marriage.

Not every husband is comfortable with their wife’s sole duty being to nurse children and look after the home. Some men want their wives to contribute financially to the marriage and progress in whatever career field they desire. If you notice your husband looking at women who are successful or seem successful, it could be because he wants a woman like her. He then fantasizes with thoughts of having an established woman as a wife. 

• A need for adventure. 

One way to keep a man interested in you is to have some sort of mystery to you. Men are attracted to mystery. There is no adventure for a husband who knows everything about his woman. You can only be more by discovering yourself each day and trying new things. Be willing to give your husband some adventure, whether it involves planning for new activities, trying out new sexual experiences, or reinventing yourself.