19 Signs She Is Testing Your Patience
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
Are you asking yourself, “Is this girl testing me?”. If you are asking yourself this question, it is more than likely that she is testing you. When a girl is testing you in any way, whether she is testing your patience or not, she is likely interested in you and wants to get a feel of the type of person you are. And this is because she is trying to decide if she should take her interest in you any further or just let it die out.
If a girl is testing you, you should actually see it as a good thing because it means that she really likes you and is considering you in terms of a serious relationship. Ladies only test guys they think they can have a long-term serious relationship with.
And because she is thinking of giving her heart to you, she wants to be sure that you are worth the risk. She wants to be sure that letting down her guard, being vulnerable, and letting you into her heart will be worth it. The situation when she is testing you is therefore a good thing if you ask us.
In this article, we will be showing you how to know if a girl is testing you and how to tell if a girl is testing you through text.
You may like these related articles on How do you know if a guy likes you secretly and Signs someone is hiding their feelings for you.
How to know if a girl is testing you – 19 signs she is testing you.
Table of Contents
How do girls test guys you ask? Well, let us let you in on their secrets. If you want to know if she is testing you, look out for these 19 signs.
1. She deliberately does things she knows you don’t like.
And when she does this, she’s testing your patience with women. She wants to know if you are the kind of guy who is very hot-tempered and how you act when you lose your temper. Some guys tend to get violent or throw serious fits of rage when they are angry and she wants to be sure that you are not that kind of guy.
2. She may ask you questions about important topics that mean something to her.
When a lady is thinking of settling down with a guy, she does not want someone with mismatched goals and ambitions or someone who will bore her. And so, she will subtly ask you questions on seemingly random topics that mean nothing. Don’t take those questions lightly or answer them in a lackadaisical fashion because your answer could mean the difference between her taking more interest in you or shutting down and moving on to the next available guy.
3. She wants to know your long-term goals and ambitions.
Most ladies also like a guy with drive and ambition and not a guy who does not have a long-term plan for his life. This is because a guy with a vision means she can also achieve her vision without worrying about him getting intimidated by her dreams and ambitions. For women who are very driven and career-oriented, how a guy answers this question will determine whether or not she would eventually date him.
4. She talks fondly about other guys to you.
If she’s talking about her exes to you, it is not just small talk. She’s deliberately telling you about them to see how you would react. What reaction is she looking for you might ask. She wants to see if you are the jealous possessive type or whether you’re the cool type. Ladies generally do not like possessive guys and she wants to make sure you’re not one of such possessive guys.
5. She could randomly ask you to help her out with something.
This one is another classic way girls test guys. She wants to know that you are a dependable guy that she can count on when she is down or needs help. And to find out if you are that type of guy, she would ask for your assistance. If you do not come to her aid or show a willingness to help, you can rest assured that you have failed this test and she is likely to start losing interest because you have shown that she cannot depend on you.
6. She introduces you to someone close to her; likely a close friend or a sibling.
Now when she does this, you should be very happy because it means that you strike a very good chord with this girl. She is not just introducing you to them for the fun of it. Her introduction means two things. Firstly, it means that she thinks highly of you and wants the people closest to her to meet the person she is potentially considering getting into a relationship with. Secondly, she is indirectly asking them to vet you and give her their opinions on what they think about you and the kind of person they think you are.
You should be happy when you see this sign. However, at the same time, you should put your best foot forward because if the ones closest to her do not like you or think there is something off about you, that may very well spell the end of her interest in you.
7. She wants to know a little more about your relationship history.
She wants to understand the kind of lover you were in the past because this will give her an idea of the kind of person you are, especially as a lover. She wants to be sure she is not about to get it on with a serial cheater or narcissist.
8. She plays hardball a little, acts uninterested, and will most likely not ask you out.
And you’re probably wondering why on earth she will be playing with your head in this way. Here’s what you must understand about why she is playing this game of hard to get. She is seriously considering opening her heart to you but she wants to be sure that she has your full attention.
She wants to be sure that she is not the only one who has feelings for you. And the only way she can know if she has your full attention and if you are on the same wavelength of feelings with her is if you actively pursue her to show her that you are interested. If you give her mixed signals, she will take that to mean that you were not that into her after all, and she will lose interest and move on.
9. She pays attention to how you treat other people, especially people of lower station than yourself.
She wants to see if you are a humane and decent person who treats everyone with dignity and respect regardless of where they may be in life. So, for instance, she will be looking out for how you treat waiters and waitresses, security guards, domestic helpers, and persons like them who may be lower than you in the social hierarchy.
10. She may deliberately choose to go on a date at a place where there will be several other women around.
You can be sure that she will be watching you like a hawk to see how your eyes move and whether you will be gawking after other women. She wants to be sure that she is not about to give her heart to a skirt-chaser who goes after every lady.
11. She tells you she is unwell or something along those lines to test your empathy and see how caring you are.
The way you respond to this test will tell her the kind of guy you are – whether you are caring and sensitive, or self-absorbed and not too empathetic. And she will not want to go ahead with a guy who has shown that he will not be there for her when she is ill/unwell.
12. She offers to pay the bill when you go out or suggests that you split the bill equally.
2 in 5 men feel responsible for paying the bill on a first date (U.S., 2017).
49% of women would be offended if asked to split the bill (U.S. 2017).
The majority of men (as seen in the above survey from YouGov) still believe that the man should pay the bill, on the first date at least. And for good reason. And you can be certain that the girl who is testing you with this sign most likely falls in the category of the 29% who hold the view that the man should pay the bill on a first date.
This is one trap you should not fall for. If she offers to pay the bill, she is only testing you to see if you will insist on paying or not. By insisting on paying and being able to pay, you show her that you can take care of her and will not shy away from doing so.
A guy who falls for this trap tells her that he is either a cheapskate who will not be able to take care of her or that he is stingy. Whichever one she decides you are, it is not good for you because she will shut the door on you after you fail the test.
If you want to scale through this trap, it might be a good idea that you get to choose the location for your date. That way you can choose a locale that is within your budget.
13. She cancels or postpones hanging out with you.
And she may wait until the very last minute to do this. She is doing two things when she acts in this way. Number one, she is trying to see how you will react to her last-minute cancellation and whether you will lose your cool. Losing your cool will tell her that you are a short-tempered person. The second thing she is trying to achieve is to gauge your interest and to see if you will follow up by asking to see her again. If you do not follow up then it tells her that you were not that interested in the first place.
The caveat to this though is that if she cancels more than 3 times, then it is no longer a test. She’s simply not interested and it will be best for you to move on from her.
14. She says very little about herself unless you ask her specifically.
She will do this if she’s starting to doubt that you have any genuine interest in her. She will also do this if she gets the sense that you are self-absorbed and a “me, me, me” type of person. No girl wants to be with a self-absorbed guy. And so when she is with you she will consciously choose not to say much about herself, and instead waits for you to ask her questions about herself.
Asking her about herself tells her that you are genuinely interested in knowing more about her. If however you just carry on talking about yourself the whole time with no thought spared to getting to know her, we can guarantee you that after that meeting, you will likely not hear from her again.
15. Or she could talk a lot about herself and the things she likes.
When the girl likes you initially and before she switches to the mode explained in number 14, you will notice that she is so free with telling you about seemingly trivial details about herself such as her favorite color, food, and the likes. She is hoping that you are listening and taking notes in case things get serious between the both of you.
16. She holds out on sexual intimacy for a little while.
She wants to be sure that your interest in her is not just to have sex with her and then leave. Unless she is looking for a purely sexual relationship, when a lady wants to be in a serious committed relationship with a guy, this is her final test. She will hold out for as long as she feels until she is confident that you like her for her, and not just for sex.
How to tell if a girl is testing you through text – 3 signs she’s testing you through text.
Text messages are another avenue through which girls test guys. Wondering if she is testing you through this avenue? Look out for these 3 signs.
17. She will rarely text you first.
This is part of her strategy to test the level of your interest in her. She wants to see that she is not the one pushing the agenda for the communication between you both.
18. She delays her responses to your text messages.
She doesn’t want you thinking that she is sitting ideally by her phone and just waiting for you to text her. She will feign disinterest by taking some time before she responds to your messages.
19. Her responses are short but not closed-ended.
She will likely make no effort to respond more than what you’ve asked. She wants to see that you are interested in talking with her and that you can hold a conversation with her for a long time without any help from her. She will not close off her responses even though they may be short, but she will certainly not give you an answer beyond the question(s) you’ve asked her.
And so, if you really like her, it is your chance to show her that you are an interesting guy and that there is more to you. Find engaging topics to engage her in a conversation and be prepared to hold the conversation without help from her.
You may also like How to be a secret admirer to a guy.
Frequently asked questions.
1. Is she testing me or not interested?
If a lady is testing you, then she is definitely interested in you. And how you know if she is testing you is if you see her show you most or all of the 19 signs listed in this article. If she shows you one or two of these signs, then she is likely not testing you and not interested.
2. Is she testing me by not texting back?
If she never responded to your text message, then she is not testing you. She is simply not interested. A lady who is interested in you and testing you by text will always respond to your text even if she delays her response.
3. Would a girl lie about having a boyfriend to “test” you?
Yes, some girls can test a guy in this way although it is not exactly very common. The girls who do this want to see if you will persist in chasing them or back away. However, given that most guys will back away when a girl says she has a boyfriend, most girls will not use this as a way to test a guy because they know he could potentially walk away and they don’t want that.
4. Is she testing me by ignoring me?
If she is completely ignoring you, then she is not testing you. She is simply not interested in you and you should not waste your time trying to pursue her because she will only continue to rebuff you.
A lady only tests a man that she deeply likes and is interested in having a serious relationship with. And so, when you see most or all of the 19 signs she is testing you listed in this article, be in no doubt about the fact that she has the hots for you. It is then for you to decide if you also want to pursue her. And if you want to pursue her, then you now have the intel on her secret weapon. This intel is to help you pass all her tests and show her that you are the love that she has been waiting for.
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