WHAT TO WEAR WHEN MEETING HIS PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME

There is a lot of debate when it comes to the subject of what to wear when meeting his parents for the first time. Ideally, in a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to change yourself for the validation of others. But, alas, we do not live in an ideal world and you will have to deal with people judging you from time to time – and unfortunately that means that you have to suck up to people every now and then, too. Especially when it comes to your boyfriends parents. As a young lady, society has already placed upon you expectations of what a young “marriable” woman should look like – forget what you are on the inside, if your outsides do not match their expectations, they will judge you from the jump and not even give you a fair chance to get to know the real you. 

In that regard, it is with pleasure that we introduce to you the best types of clothes and looks that will fool your boyfriends parents into thinking you are marriage material and therefore good enough for their son. 

• LOOSE FITTING CLOTHING 

Perhaps the first law on how to properly dress when meeting his parents for the first time is to not wear anything that is too tight and body hugging. This is so you do not make his father uncomfortable with your young body or his mother jealous over his fathers lust for you. It’s not like the blame can be put on anybody other than you now is it? So in order not to offend their delicate sensibilities, please wear a loose fitting outfit. Preferably something that is flowy by design because you do not want to come off looking homeless and unkempt if your loose clothes are too loose. So instead of skinny jeans, maybe wear that cute pair of boyfriend jeans, just not the ripped ones because then you will be showing too much skin which is a great segue into our second point. 

• LONG CLOTHES 

When you are meeting your boyfriend’s parents it is advisable that you wear long sleeved clothing to conceal as much skin as you possibly can. That means that you cannot wear anything short or inappropriately cut. Forget about the tank tops, the mini skirts, the ripped jeans, and the croptops that you enjoy wearing on a normal day. On this day, think of yourself as a middle aged government office worker who wears turtlenecks and pantyhose over their sheer clothing. 

• DO NOT SHOW TOO MUCH SKIN 

Another way to dress in front of your boyfriend’s parents is to make sure that you are not showing too much or preferably any skin with your outfit. Showing too much skin is considered to be disrespectful of others and a dishonor on your own body – because there is absolutely no way you can be a respectable member of society or even a decent person if your clothes are a little bit revealing. We all know the people who have taken the world far were always covered from head to toe, so why even contest that kind of thinking? There are obviously no plot holes there. 

• MINIMAL MAKEUP 

One of the things that you have to consider when getting dressed for 1st time meeting with boyfriend’s parents is how much makeup you get to put on that day. As the rule, you will want to look as natural as possible, do not paint your face like a harlot, or a clown.  Or both! Both is worse. If you want to impress your boyfriend’s mom, make sure that you do not go overboard with the makeup. Ditch the lashes and the blushes, and the bold lipsticks. Stick to a natural glow that will allow your boyfriend’s parents to judge you based off of your natural good looks as opposed to enhanced looks. The rule of thumb is if you have seen your boyfriend’s mom before – in pictures or videos he has shown you – rig the game by wearing makeup the way that she does. That way she feels some form of comradery around you, and no one can criticize you because hey, you did it just like the matriarch of the family, right?  

• FLAT SHOES 

Seeing how hard it is to meet boyfriend parents for the first time, why would you want to make the day even harder on yourself by wearing high heels? Save yourself the trouble and wear that cute flat pump that you have always liked. Just because a shoe is flat doesn’t mean it is ugly, you can still look classy and marriable in a flat shoe. Bonus if you wear a sneaker because it shows them that you are a fun individual. 

Sarcastic jokes aside, wearing flat shoes shows that you are a down-to-earth person and most people will trust you instinctively as opposed to when you are wearing high heels especially because high heels are associated with working women and most parents do not deem the working woman to make a good wife for their sons because who will take care of their grandchildren? 

In all fairness, depending on the occasion, you can wear high heels if you are comfortable doing so. For example, if you are meeting them for dinner at a nice restaurant and you want to look fancy, then throw on your favorite heels and sashay through that door being exactly who you are. 

• NEUTRAL COLORS 

If you are still wondering what to wear when meeting his parents for the first time, we should point out that if you are a very bright colors type of girl, then you might want to tone it down all the way to neutral. Color psychology states that people who love bright colors are perceived as bold, bossy, childish, and immature depending on the colors they choose. Since your goal for this day is to not let strangers judge you based off of your appearance, then it would suffice to wear neutral colors. Black, white, and the various nudes. These colors, especially the nude colors will portray you as down-to-earth and easy-going, which is what you want your partner’s parents to think about you. 

• COVER UP PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS

And lastly, but definitely not least, if you have multiple piercings and tattoos, it is advisable that you try to hide them as much as you can. You can do this by wearing long-sleeved shirts, or using makeup to cover up. With your piercings make sure you do not wear all your jewelry on all your piercings. Some would even suggest ditching all of the jewelry for the event. The simpler you look, the homely they will judge you to be. Tattoos are still looked down upon in most societies and communities, and so are multiple piercings especially when they are in places that aren’t traditional or conventional. 

WHAT INFLUENCES WHAT YOU WEAR?

• CULTURE 

One of the influences on how women are treated when going to be introduced to their boyfriend’s parents is highly dependent on culture. Most cultures are highly patriarchal and therefore their rules for who is going to make a good wife are centered around catering to the man and how much (ab)use the woman can take. The first thing that such cultures will do is to devalue women and make them feel like they are worthless – so stripping them of any self-identity is the first thing to go – because when you are like the others, you know nothing, you question nothing. 

Therefore, when you are going to meet your boyfriend’s parents, the general rule of thumb is to be as basic as you possibly can so you do not raise any “red flags” that you are a rebel who will not be corrupted into succumbing to the oppressive hand of the patriarchy. 

• COMMUNITY 

Your boyfriend’s parents are most likely associated with a community of some sort and communities have a way of influencing peoples thoughts and ideologies. For example, if your boyfriend’s parents are super religious, then you know what kind of clothing will set them off, what political topics will strike a nerve, and generally what their reaction would be towards you especially when you are the opposite of what they are. In this regard, it is important to understand what kind of community your boyfriend’s parents come from before going to meet up with them so you know how to act and be respectful of all and any differences. 

• GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES 

Another thing that will influence how to behave in front of your boyfriend’s parents is how much older than you they are and which generation they come from. This is because, the older the generation, the more conservative they are. Sure, this can be argued that being liberal or conservative is case by case, however, the majority of a generation will fall into one category more than the other.  

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 

• Why do parents care what your significant other looks like? 

Parents care what your significant other looks like for two things, genetics and their warped sense of what your happiness should look like. They want someone who will be a good person to you through the good and the bad, and they want someone who can give them healthy grandchildren. And that is the oversimplified answer because the subject is extensive and it differs from culture to culture across the world. 

• Are jeans acceptable to wear to meet his parents? 

Yes, jeans are acceptable to wear to meet his parents depending on what kind of event it is you are meeting them at and where this event is happening. For example, if you have been invited to a cookout, then yes jeans are an acceptable form of clothing. However, if you have been invited to a cocktail party, then no, do not wear jeans. Read the room, and pick the best outfit for the suggested event and activities. 

• How long should you wait to meet your boyfriend’s mom?

Logically, you should wait until at least 3 months after you have officially started seeing someone to introduce them to your parents. This is because it is generally believed that if a couple is still together after 3 months, they are going to make it to a year – or longer. Of course, this is no guarantee. However, waiting until you are sure you know the direction of your relationship is heading before being introduced to anyone’s parents.

However, studies have shown that a lot of Millennials will introduce their significant other as early as 10 weeks into dating and this is because 15% of Millenials live at home with their parents and it would be harder to keep their partners away for long periods of time.