How to Tell Your Child You Love Them Unconditionally

This kind of feeling implies you love somebody without any condition or reserve. The child is loved just the way he/she is. You love your child, no matter what he/she does. If you need your child to love you back, that’s not unconditional love, because you shouldn’t expect something in return. Don’t think about loving somebody wholeheartedly and just feel it.

Parents might not be happy with their kids all the time. Still, unconditional love just means they find other ways of correcting unacceptable behavior. Some people don’t communicate disapproval with punishment. Raising a kid with unconditional love means that no fear exists in the relationship between a parent and a child. It’s best to always avoid punishments that only speak the message of fear and intimidation. They are the tool some people use to make their kid do what they want. Instead, a child should be left alone to do the right thing, on his/her own, without the fear of punishment. Unconditional love for a child will make him/her feel safe and accepted, so it’s more likely he/she won’t misbehave. A kid should only love and be loved, that’s all to it.

So how can you express unconditional love?

A lot of articles focus on things you shouldn’t do in child care. We’re trying a different approach, so we’re going to speak about what should you do. We know you want to learn how to love your child unconditionally, or how to express that love. There are hundreds of simple ways to show your kid you love him/her. We researched these ways, and now we’ll present to you the ones we found to be very promising.

1# Say it out loud!

Yes, be straightforward and tell your kid “I love you”! Repeat the sentence whenever you can. Every day, any time, for no reason at all. You can even make silly remarks about the amount of love you feel like “I love you a gazillion bazillion times” or ”I love you more than the universe”. It might seem awkward to you, but your kid will enjoy hearing these kinds of stuff. You’ll see how fast he/she will get used to getting words of affection from you. You’ll see his/her face light up with a big smile, and you’ll know you’re doing the right thing. You might even want to expand this straight-up expression of love and say what exactly you love about him/her. That can be his/her personality, characteristics, creativity, enthusiasm, etc. Show him/her you’ve noticed what makes him/her special!

Also, believe in your child, so he/she learns to stand on his/her own. When your child accomplishes something you should praise him/her no matter how big or small the achievement might be. A simple “Yaaay, you did it” is good enough. Some people don’t think it’s a good thing to compliment a child only after he/she succeed in something. We don’t agree! You should try to do it more often because it’s beneficial for your child’s development. For example, if he/she runs a race and loses, praise the effort anyway. You might even add something like “I loved watching you race”. That way, you’re not praising an outcome, but an activity. You’ve clearly stated that you are glad you invested your time to watch him/her race, even though he/she didn’t win. This sends a clear message you love him no matter what.

2# Spend quality time together

The best way to show your child that you care about him/her is by spending time together. Your kid wants your undivided attention. When you decide to spend time with your kid, focus and devote yourself to the activity. Leave your phone in the other room, forget about your work, and stay involved.  There are many activities you can try with your kid: playing, cooking, reading, building something (a pillow fort for example), making arts and crafts, etc. If you have a pet, even better. There are a lot of fun things to do with your dog outside! Watching TV and cuddling on the couch can also be a cherished activity. Of course, you should try to spend as much time as you can with him/her, but if you have a busy schedule, 15 minutes a day is enough. That’s 15 minutes of undivided attention! You need to let your child know he/she is worth your time.

3# Gift-giving

Everyone loves gifts and kids are not an exception. You can show your love by surprising your kid with a gift. The trick for a surprise is to give something regardless of the occasion. You don’t have to wait for birthdays and holidays to give gifts! There are a lot of ways to surprise someone with a gift, so don’t hesitate to try.

You don’t have to buy something expensive for your kid. A small but thoughtful gift might even be better than some amazing pricey toy. For example, a gift basket is just perfect for this purpose. You can make a good gift basket and put some cute little notes in it. We’re sure it will be greatly appreciated!

Another superb idea is to give your kid one of your valuable possessions as an unexpected gift. Something that’s been in your family for generations will surely be an amazing gift. It will help you share the love with your kid.

4# Get to know your child better

The best way to express love is to show some interest in your child’s activities, thoughts, and passions. Find out what occupies his/her attention and then help him/her develop those traits or chase those hobbies. You might even find out things that will surprise you! Maybe he/she likes to explore or has mature thoughts. Make clear to your child that she/he can try any sports or pursue any activity he/she likes. Encourage your child and make sure he/she knows that you won’t be disappointed, no matter what.

5# Put a positive spin on your child’s traits

Appreciate your child’s “bad sides”. Everyone has some weakness, and so does your child. He/she might develop some character trait which is not desirable at first glance. For example, your kid might be very stubborn.That can be manifested through constant fighting with you or your partner. However, that can be transformed into an advantage for goal achievement. This kind of persistence might do your child good if he/she becomes a lawyer, a scientist, etc. Your role in this situation is to help your kid turn his/her weakness into a strength. He/she needs to learn to control himself/herself, and not drive other people crazy. Teach your kid boundaries. Self-management is hard to learn, and it’s your job, as a parent, to give your best so your kid can understand this.

6# Celebrate the big moments

Remember to cherish and celebrate “big” moments in your kid’s life like birthdays, the first day of school, acting in a play, etc. If your kid puts a lot of effort into learning the lines for the play, make sure  to praise it. Make a big deal out of the play. Invite relatives and friends to support your kid. He/she might have a bit of stage fright, but will surely overcome it. If you put your heart into supporting him/her, your child will feel the love. It shouldn’t matter to you whether your kid was good enough in that play or not. The most important thing is to be there and to give your love and support. Children only want to  see their dads and moms in the audience. The same thing applies to any other special occasion.

7# Teach them all you know

You can’t expect your kid to learn and grow as a person if you don’t put the time into teaching him/her. From spiritual values to the simple physical tasks, you should share your knowledge with your kid. You can teach him/her how to ride a bike, drive a car, fix a flat tire and that can be a bonding activity. There are so many things you can pass on.

Even if you don’t share the lessons verbally, the kid learns while watching you do stuff. You are the mirror your kid reflects to. Be careful with your behavior around your child. He/she is a sponge and will repeat your actions. So if you show love, he/she will catch it.

How to love unconditionally when your child is being difficult

We know what you are thinking, how can you share the love if your child is acting terrible. Life is made of difficult moments. And hard times are the period when unconditional love for a child is needed the most. It’s easy to love unconditionally when the kid is being good. However, figuring out how to love him/her while he/she is being difficult is another thing. If your child misbehaves, even if he/she does something tremendous, you need to remain calm. Manage your anger and don’t ever “lash out” on a child. If you punish your child, shout or threaten to hurt him/her, you are doing irreparable damage to your relationship. Your kid only feels you are intentionally causing him/her pain, and might not even know why. If you haven’t set clear boundaries and expectations, how can he/she know how to behave? If you can’t explain to your child, through calm conversation, what he/she did wrong, how can he/she learn and make amends?