What to do when your husband says you’re fat. 6 helpful tips.

  • It is irritating and damaging to one’s psychological health to have a husband that constantly pesters them about their weight.
  • If you’re wondering what to do when your husband says you’re fat, look further. We’ve provided 9 reasons why your husband nags about your weight, and what to do when your husband comments on your weight. 

Weight gain after marriage is common. A study found that married women, on average, gain 24 pounds in their first 5 years of marriage, source: healthline.com. Excessive weight gain can be attributed to child-bearing, child-caring, stress, and laziness. The thought of owning a cinderella body one more time has become a distant dream for many married women. 

If your weight is giving you grief, you are not alone. You may have had your confidence dashed against a rock because of your husband’s comments. You might also be experiencing low self-esteem and insecurity in marriage because your husband said he can’t deal with an overweight wife. We understand how you feel, and we hope you get through this phase smiling. 

This article has been divided into two subtopics;

  • Why does your husband comment about your weight?
  • What to do when your husband makes comments about your weight. 

You can also check our articles titled What to do when your husband says hurtful things to you, and how to get motivated to exercise when you are depressed for more valuable information. 

Why does your husband comment about your weight?

My husband makes comments about my weight often.”

“My husband says my weight is a problem.

Here are some reasons why your husband nags you about losing weight. 

  1. He is concerned about your health.

Being fat or obese is costly. It could cost you your health and life, and a husband who loves you wouldn’t want to see that happen. If your husband wants you to lose weight, he probably notices some health challenges you are starting to face but has refused to pay attention to. He may have noticed your loss of breath, heavy breathing, abnormal sweating, joint pains, low energy, bowel problems, etcetera. If your husband says your weight is a problem, he is concerned that your weight is taking a toll on your daily activities. 

  1. You’ve become too insecure. 

If your husband says you’re fat and wants you to lose weight, he has noticed how your weight affects your confidence. You’ve probably become too insecure for his liking, and it irritates him. He is tired of you looking at his gaze when you notice a slim curvy lady in the room. He might also be tired of reassuring you that he is faithful and committed to you. Your husband wants you to look and feel beautiful, which is why he wants you to lose weight. 

  1. His past experience. 

When your husband says you’re fat, your weight reminds him of a past trauma he is trying to forget, and he doesn’t want you to go through what he has been through. He may have been bullied for being fat at some point in his life or may have lost a loved one because of obesity. He is afraid of watching you go through what he has been through.

  1. You are too relaxed or stubborn about your lifestyle and weight. 

If your husband calls you fat often, he thinks you don’t care about your lifestyle or weight, giving him grief. Often, many women tend to pay less attention to themselves after getting married, which is not good. Why should you make yourself less attractive because you are married with kids? Suppose your husband thinks that the only way to change your lackadaisical attitude towards your weight and unhealthy lifestyle is by seriously nagging about it. In that case, he will continue to bring up your weight in conversations. Sadly, this could take a toll on your psychological well-being. 

Do you know that a study in England seems to suggest that women don’t often perceive themselves as overweight even when they are? Perhaps that is why some of us sleep on our weight. Check the chart below. Source: Statista

  1. He wants to hurt you. 

While a loving husband mentions your weight without any ill intention toward you, a husband that does not like you will call you fat because he wants to hurt you. He will call you fat during arguments and in front of friends and family. If your husband calls you fat often, it could be that he is a sadist and a toxic person. 

  1. He is worried about the family. 

Women have so much influence on their husbands and children. They can pass down what they are, what they have, and what they do to their family. When your husband says you’re fat, he is probably worried that you’ll poorly influence him and the children’s eating habits.  He is trying to watch out for the family. 

  1. He is no longer physically attracted to you.

It is no longer news that men are attracted to what they say. You probably know this fact which is why you put so much attention on your physical appearance during your dating phase. Well, your husband can’t stop being a man because he is married to you. He still has a thing for physical attractiveness, and that is why he wants you to lose weight. When your husband says you’re fat, he probably struggles to be physically intimate with you, although he still loves you. Not everyone can tolerate having an overweight wife. 

  1. He gets so many embarrassing comments about you. 

If you’ve ever said. “my husband is embarrassed by my weight” you might be right. Your husband will be embarrassed about your weight if people try to mock him about your weight. Or if you draw so much attention when both of you are out together. If your husband is a reserved or shy person who does not like overweight women, he will most likely be embarrassed about your weight.

  1. You complain so much about your weight. 

If your husband says your weight is a problem, you’ve probably complained about it so much that he finds it annoying. Your husband might be tired of hearing you talk about your weight or feel insecure when he is trying to be intimate with you. 

What do when your husband comments on your weight

If you are looking for tips on what to do when your husband thinks you’re fat, first consider all the possible reasons why your husband nags about your weight before trying to get over his comments about your weight. The moment you understand that being fat can affect your husband and family, you’ll become more objective about his criticism of your weight. Your weight is not just about you. 

We understand that the way your husband talks about your weight might be insulting to you. He could have ill intentions towards you or not. When your husband says you’re fat, and you don’t like it, here are some things you can do;

  1. Be calm and do not trade words with him. 

Your husband’s comment, attitude, and behavior may have done a thing or two on your self-esteem, and you are itching to spit back painful facts about his flaws. We encourage you not to do such. Your husband might have no ill intention towards you when he comments about your weight. Or maybe he did. However, trading words with him will affect your marriage terribly and make you feel worse than you already did. 

  1. Acknowledge your feelings and why you feel that way. 

It is ok to be angry and uncomfortable when your husband calls you fat. Criticisms are hard to swallow. You don’t need to lie to yourself that his words meant nothing to you when they did. It is also important to know why you are angry. Ask yourself if there is any truth to your husband’s statement about your weight. If yes, accept the truth in his comment. Secondly, ask yourself if the way he said it was wrong. If yes, acknowledge it and ask yourself how he should have addressed your body weight to you. 

  1. Try to understand him. 

When your husband says you’re fat, the last thing that will cross your mind would be, ‘why did my husband say I’m fat?’ If anything, you’ll experience the urge to point out your husband’s flaws to him. Sadly, if you only focus on how you feel when your husband says you are fat, you deny yourself the chance to understand his message fully. There are various reasons why your husband makes comments about your weight, and we’ve listed nine of them. The more you focus on the message, the better your chances of being objective about what to do.

  1. Respond to his complaint maturely before correcting him for any wrongdoing. 

It is important to always respond to complaints. When your husband lets you know about things he doesn’t like, don’t give him the impression that his words fell on deaf ears. Many women do this, which is wrong. You wouldn’t want him to do the same to you. Responding to a complaint shows respect. As hurt and uncomfortable you might be about his comments on your weight, let him know what you’ve decided to do about his complaint. If you don’t see anything wrong with your weight, let him know your thoughts. Then correct him for whatever wrong you think he committed when relaying his complaint. 

  1. Ask for support. 

A husband who loves you is ready to help you get through your weight issues. They want you to be happy as much as they want to be happy. It is a good idea to include him in your weight loss plan if you decide to pursue a weight loss. We urge you to do so. There is nothing cute about being overweight, don’t let the media pamper you into accepting an unhealthy lifestyle. Working as a team with your husband will increase your bond and reveal new sides to both of you. If your husband doesn’t show you any form of support, be worried. Check out signs that your partner does not love you and what to do when your husband hates you.

  1. Learn to love and encourage yourself.  

When your husband says you are fat, love yourself enough not to let his words define you. A flaw is not who you are until you allow it to control your life. Criticism is a criticism, don’t give it more attention than it deserves. Be your cheerleader.

Frequently Asked Question.

  1. How do you know if your husband thinks you’re fat?
  • He often refuses to indulge in conversations about your weight. His lack of indulgence means that he is as sensitive as you about your weight.
  • He gets more worried about your outfits and how they fit you.
  • He experiences diminished desire or motivation to be intimate with you, unlike in the past.
  • He suggests that lose weight. 
  • Introduces you to certain fitness routines to know what you think. 
  • He is very continuous about what you eat and how much you eat. 
  • He is not too keen about taking you out to events where his friends will be, unlike in the past.
  • He is generally unhappy about your body.
  1. Why does my partner call me fat?
  • He wants to be mean to you.
  • He feels like you are not concerned about your weight as much as he does.
  • He has diminished attraction for you.
  • Your weight is weighing on him heavily and might be causing him some embarrassment. 
  • He is worried that being fat may become a thing in the family, and he doesn’t want that. 


Truthfully, we get easily pricked by comments on our body weight that we fail to listen to and accept the truth about our flaws. Social media has not helped many women in this regard. Being fat has been glamorized so much that many women have chosen ‘wokeness’ over putting in the needed effort to work on themselves. 

Fat people indeed get body-shamed often, which is wrong. No one should be subjected to such meanness. However, not every comment about our weight is meant to shame us. If your husband says your weight is a problem, it could be because he cares about you. We need to get over our feelings if we want true change to begin in us and our marriage.

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