How to Ignore Your Boyfriend to Teach Him a Lesson

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

  • When a man ignores you, it is hurtful and frustrating especially when you like him – and even worse when you are in love with him.
  • Although some reasons for ignoring you make sense, they are still red flags that you should keep an eye out for during the course of your relationship.
  • Some narcissistic men will use the silent treatment as a way to control you and your actions.
  • All this is important to consider when you want to get payback and ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson.

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Nothing kills a relationship faster than the lack of communication, and the silent treatment is the epitome of a lack of communication. Being ignored by someone you like or love can feel like a blow to the stomach. You miss them, and you want to talk to them – tell them how your day went, how much you miss them, or just to say hello – but your sent messages are met with a ‘seen’ followed by silence. You are frustrated and can’t figure out why he has suddenly become distant and is ignoring you. There are a few ways in which a person can ignore you; first, it’s the classic silent treatment or stonewalling – this is when a person does not speak to you or acknowledged your existence to them thereby refusing to communicate with you at all, and then there is ghosting, when a partner completely removes themselves from your life by blocking you on all social media, messaging apps thereby closing all means of communication and your ability to reach out to them.


There may be different reasons as to why your boyfriend might be ignoring you; it could be that he is mad at you over an argument you had and doesn’t want to speak to you for a while and he wants to cool off his temper before coming back to have a discussion with you – this is the “good” kind of silent treatment especially when they let you know why they will not be talking to you for the next few hours or days. On the other hand, you have men ignoring you because they don’t know what they want from the relationship and they may be feeling overwhelmed – these are men who do not know how to articulate their emotions. And then you have the narcissists who will ignore you after you have done something they do not agree with or perceive as negative and so as a way to punish you he stops talking to you and ignores all your advances to reconcile. This is toxic and dangerous behavior because it leads to emotional – and sometimes physical – abuse. Read more here on narcissists and control.


So now the question has to be asked; what do you do when you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care? Do you wear yourself thin trying to please him? Do you leave it up to the fates and go with the flow because ‘whatever happens, happens’?  what to do after a fight with your boyfriend


Depending on the reason that he is ignoring you – did you have a fight? If you did, then you need to give him space to cool off and get his emotions straight. Most men prefer sorting out their feelings in private and coming back to you later to explain their emotions as opposed to having heated conversations.

If the reason he was MIA was that you had a fight, here is what you do to get your boyfriend to talk to you again after a fight; you apologize to him. You let him know that you are sorry and you are here to listen whenever he is ready to talk. Men have very fragile egos, and if you soothe the ego – he will come back to you. To know your man is to know his ego.


But if you didn’t fight and he is just ignoring you [for no reason] then you need to call him out on his childish behavior. Adults in a relationship need to communicate their thoughts and feelings instead of hiding away and throwing subtle hints and hoping the other person gets it. When you get a chance, call him out and let him know exactly how his actions affected you and how much you did not appreciate it.

When you do this, you should be sure to watch his reaction towards your concerns. Is he remorseful? Is he apologetic? Is he indifferent? Is he defensive? Depending on how he reacts to your words, you will then know if you still want to be with him or if you want to leave him for being manipulative and controlling.


Once you have told him what you needed to get off your chest – and he hasn’t shown any sign of repentance, or tells you he was using the silent treatment as some sort of punishment to you over something that you did that didn’t sit right with him – leave him. A man who is comfortable with leaving you and not checking up on you for days isn’t a man worth keeping. And a man who uses your love for him to control what you do or say is borderline manipulative and could turn out to be (emotionally) abusive in the long run. There is no need for you to stay with this sort of man long enough to find out. Leave him while he is still showing you his red flags.


So instead of leaving, you have decided that you will stay to teach him a lesson and make him regret ignoring you. Now how exactly do you go about teaching him a lesson and making him feel bad for ignoring you?  Below are a few ways you can make him choke on his own dose of bitter medication:


This is the classic eye for an eye – he ignored you and now wants to communicate with you so you ignore him right back. Turn his own mind games against him. Some of the ways you can ignore a guy and make him chase you are: don’t answer his phone calls, short reply to his messages – let him know you are still talking to him just not as involved as he wants you to be (cue the “Nah”, and “k.”) leave him on read but be active on social media, like other men’s pictures and laugh at their “borderline funny” tweets. You can get as creative as you want with how you ignore him and you do this until he apologizes to you for ghosting you first. however if he does not seem apologetic, read this article to find out what to do when someone won’t apologize.


Isn’t this why we have social media? So we can take pictures of our perfect little lives and show everyone just how happy we are? Show him that your life is perfectly fine and unaffected even without him in it, that he is not the center of your world. Go out with friends and post pictures of you hanging out with other people doing fun stuff. The more he sees you out, living your best life, the more he will miss you and he will eventually reach out to you. And when he finally does, make him feel guilty for ignoring you – and do not forgive him unless he apologizes and means it, too!


No one can feel bad for an action they do not regret. Feeling bad insinuates that you care about the other person and how your actions made them feel. You cannot make your boyfriend feel bad for ignoring you if he does not regret ignoring you. However, if you are bent on trying to make him feel bad, then you can begin small by ignoring his texts – this will either get his attention or give him leeway to leave you for good.


Ignoring a man only works if the man in question wants you. You can put in so much effort for someone who doesn’t want to be with you and whatever you do to get his attention will make little to no impact on him.


When a man really likes you, there is nothing that can stop him. When he likes you, he will try to find ways to appease you and get you to stop being mad at him and ignoring him. However, when he doesn’t like you, ignoring a guy won’t make him want you – no matter how hard you try.


When a man likes the chase and still has the desire to pursue you he will do so even when you ignore him. When this is the case, ignoring him will only make him want you more because the more you resist his charms and efforts, the more exciting it becomes for him. This, however, is problematic because he does not like you as a person, rather he is chasing the feeling that comes with making someone fall in love with you, and after he has gotten that he will move onto his next chase.


  • What should you do when a guy ignores you

When a guy ignores you, you should leave him to his own devices. When he is done ignoring you and comes back to you, it is now up to you what you want to do. Of course, this depends on the kind of relationship you have with each other, how long you have known each other, and the reason behind him ignoring you. It is entirely up to you to either decide you want to keep talking to him or you want him out of your life – whatever decision you choose to make is valid.

  • Why do guys ghost you?

Guys ghost you for several reasons but the main one being that they do not want to be with you anymore and they don’t want to deal with explaining to you why they are leaving. It is a very cowardly way to break up with you – because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and answer questions you might have about the breakup. Any guy who ghosts you is a blessing in disguise and you should be thankful for dodging that bullet.

Contrary to popular belief, there are more people who get ghosted than not, according to a 2016 survey conducted by the dating site ‘Plenty of Fish.’ 78% of people, both men, and women, aged between 18 and 33 revealed that they had been ghosted before. So anytime you feel alone and abandoned, just remember there are others like you who are feeling the exact same way. Go on Reddit or any other social media platform and find your tribe who can help you heal from your emotional trauma. You do not have to be alone in all of this.

Have you ever been ghosted? (had someone you’re dating suddenly cease all communication without explanation) Source: Blog.pof.com

Have you ever been ghosted (had someone you're dating suddenly cease all communication without explanation)


Remember, it’s not your fault that he is ghosting you. His actions say more about him than they do about you. Although it might hurt and be incredibly frustrating, do not blame yourself for his lack of maturity and communication.

Returning the ignoring game will not erase the hurt that you went through when he ghosted you but it will make him feel a little bit of what you felt when he was ignoring your efforts at communication. Just remember, ignoring him won’t make him miss you or make him fall in love with you. If you are still trying to have a relationship with him after he ghosts you, you should have an honest conversation about your relationship and lay it all on the ground about what you want from the relationship. Read this article to find out ways on how to talk to your boyfriend about future plans.





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