9 Tips for How To Tell Your Husband To Lose Weight

9 Tips for How to tell your husband to lose weight?

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How to tell your husband to lose weight

People can be very touchy about their weight, especially when you are quite close to them. Comments on weight taken the wrong way can cause conflict between you and your husband if he feels hurt and ashamed. This is why broaching the subject of how to tell your husband to lose weight can be quite challenging, however necessary it may be. 


We get it; when you married your husband, you didn’t just marry him because of how he looked, but it still played a big part. So long as your husband wasn’t already overweight when you married him, you have every right to feel concerned if his weight gain goes past “love handles.” No one wants to say, “I am not attracted to my overweight husband,” but sometimes that’s just how it is.

How obsesity increases your mortality

And of course, there are the health reasons for losing weight. Marketwatch reports that obesity makes one more prone to Cardiovascular and Respiratory diseases, which drastically increase mortality. So when you get concerned that your husband keeps gaining weight, you shouldn’t just do it for aesthetic reasons; you should also be worried that his health may be in danger.


Regardless of your reasons, you need to approach your husband’s weight gain in a way that he listens to you and adopts your recommendations. To do this, you first have to be in a healthy marriage where intimacy and communication flow easily. Couple this with positive reinforcement and support, and you might just succeed in getting your husband to drop those extra calories.


But how do you reinforce your husband positively and show him support? Let’s find out…


Check out How to Tell Your Wife To Lose Weight.

Have a conversation with him 

With weight being such a touchy subject, you first need to ask your husband for permission to talk to him about his weight. If you have the kind of relationship where you don’t need permission, you can skip this step.


If he agrees to talk about it, listen to what he has to say before you offer any suggestions. Chances are that your husband gaining weight also bothers him, but he has faced some obstacles to doing something about it. 


To ensure that he is receptive to the conversation, here are a few tips to keep in mind:


  1. Pick an ideal time for the conversation 

You don’t want distractions when you are to have such an important conversation. When you approach your husband, it should be a time when you have his undivided attention, such as evenings on a quiet weekend.

Emotions also need to be kept in check, so pick a calm moment where stressful situations won’t dilute your message.

  • Choose your words carefully before you have the conversation

Think about what you will say before you have the conversation and try to anticipate how he will react. Then come up with the best ways to counter his reaction if he responds negatively or further cement your point if he reacts positively.

As his wife, you have a front-row seat to observe your husband and the things that make him tick. Use this to your advantage by talking to him in a way that he would be more receptive to your thoughts and feelings.


  1. Flattery will get you everywhere 

To tell your husband to lose weight, you need to butter him up first. You need to be so sweet that a diabetic has to avoid you. Okay, maybe not too sweet.

But yes, feel free to compliment the parts of him that you like so that he gets in a good enough mood to be receptive enough when you speak.


  • Be honest about your feelings but use positive words

Honesty is the best policy if you hope to clearly tell your husband to lose weight, but don’t go about it rudely.

You don’t have to tell your husband that you want him to lose weight because you find him appalling. You can instead say that you miss when he looked a certain way and could do so-so. 

Use positivity as a weapon, and it will work for you.

  • Talk about the benefits of losing weight

People will usually work towards something if it is in their best interests. Talk to your husband about the benefits of dropping some pounds, such as improved confidence and reduced mortality.

Be as specific as you can by listing examples of things he could do in the past that you miss – but don’t use an accusatory tone.

If he feels that he is better off losing weight for his own sake, he will probably take action.

  1. Be intimate 

Intimately approaching your husband will most likely disarm him and leave him vulnerable to listening to what you have to say.

For instance, you could snuggle up to him and playfully touch him before asking for permission to talk about weight loss. Then use the tips above.  


Check out How to Get Better at Talking to People

Decide on diets together 

Instead of being embarrassed by your husband’s weight, you can help him work on it. People, in general, tend to work harder at something when they aren’t doing it alone.


Working on diets together is a great way to deal with an overweight spouse because it encourages him to go further. Also, the fact that you know what foods he should be eating means that it will be harder for him to cheat around you.


Ensure that when planning the diet, the plan is not only long-term but avoids foods that your husband can’t stomach over time. There are plenty of healthy foods out there, and he’s bound to like some. 



Get some healthy foods 

How to tell your husband to lose weight? Stock your kitchen with more healthy foods. If you’re in charge of grocery shopping, this becomes much easier to do. And if you aren’t, you can simply offer your help every now and then or alter the shopping list before your husband goes shopping.


It’s one thing to plan a diet and another to implement it. You need to ensure that more healthy food is bought because your husband might run away from them otherwise.


Following this strategy works best when you take your husband’s interests to heart and buy healthy foods that he would like. Just because you want him healthy doesn’t mean you should buy something that would make him want to throw up. Also, don’t rush into a complete revamp of your kitchen, but rather implement these healthier food choices gradually. 



Practice more home cooking 

In addition to buying healthier foods, you and your husband should cook more home meals. This way, you are in charge of what he eats to ensure that he meets weight loss goals by targeting the right nutrients needed for a balanced meal. 


You should know that dieticians say this is a better way to target weight loss than spending sleepless nights wondering how to tell your partner they are fat. 


Jokes aside, this is a very effective method and one that can be adjusted quite easily if you have a talk with your husband to find out his preferred healthy food choices. Dedication is also needed and can be achieved by creating a cooking timetable.


Oh, and don’t forget to pack your husband’s lunches and include cheat days as a reward for his efforts.


Suggest physical activities as a couple 

It is not wrong to want your partner to lose weight, but as his spouse, you also need to work to ensure your husband does so.


Engaging in physical activities is a win-win-win situation because it will help him lose weight, keep him motivated, and keep you fit while bringing you closer together as a couple. Indeed, experts note that couples who work out together have great sex together.


No list of couple exercises without jogging is complete, but if your husband isn’t a fan, you can do other things like going to dance class, cycling together, or hiking on weekends. The goal is to get more active; however, the way you do so is up to you.


Get a personal trainer 

After scaling the hurdle on how to tell your husband to lose weight, and the next step is helping him to lose it, a personal trainer will come in handy. 


If your husband agrees to it – permission is important – a personal trainer will help push him to lose weight faster by giving personalized advice for training and dieting. But remember that trainers have different ways of doing things, so do your research to pick one who will be a great fit for the kind of person your husband is.


Trainers can sometimes be pricey, though, and if you don’t have that money to spend, there are now specialized apps that can act as trainers and are quite friendly to the pocket.


 Act as cheerleader 

Say no to weight gain relationship problems by sticking by your husband as he tries to lose some of the weight. Some people think that their job is done once they convince their spouse to lose weight, but this is only half the mission – you are now part of the journey until it’s done.


In all your husband’s efforts to lose weight, a cheerleader will encourage him to do more because he knows he has someone by his side. 


When he’s working out, encourage him; eating right, applaud him; planning his next activities, engage him to find out how the process is going. 


It is of the utmost importance that you aren’t critical of him or try to police his eating through subtle suggestions. These can cause more harm than good if he reacts poorly or loses the confidence to continue.

Incorporate fitness lifestyle habits 

How do you tell your husband he needs to lose weight without telling him he needs to lose weight? It’s simple – become more fitness conscious.


Experts say that including certain practices in your lifestyle can greatly impact weight gain because they reduce unhealthy food intake and burn calories.


Some of these habits include:

  • Using smaller plates when giving food to your husband, so he consumes less food.
  • When your husband buys some unhealthy food, ask for a portion to share the calories.
  • Not tempting him by eating unhealthy foods in front of him.
  • Sleeping earlier as a full night’s rest helps with weight loss. 
  • Encouraging him to remain hydrated as much as possible. 

Reward him for his efforts

Rewards are powerful motivators to get people to continue doing a good job. What better way to help your partner lose weight on their weight loss journey than to offer him an incentive.


Throw in some rewards that your husband can look forward to when he reaches a certain goal. For instance, you can get him tickets to watch his favorite team or a gadget he’s been looking forward to. Sexual rewards also count, so you can promise him more of that fun thing you do that makes him euphoric. If that can’t motivate him, not much else will. 

Frequently Asked Questions


How do I encourage my husband to lose weight?

  • Talk to him about it in a supportive manner that signifies your genuine willingness to help. 
  • Encourage more fitness-related activities such as sleeping earlier and eating smaller portions of food.
  • Remind him of the benefits of losing weight but avoid being condescending about it.
  • Set up fitness goals and diet plans together. 


Is it OK to ask your partner to lose weight?

There is nothing wrong with asking your partner to lose some weight, especially if the weight gain is such that their health is affected.

Experts, however, note that if your reasons for wanting your partner to lose weight are more for you than them, this could point to you having some psychological issues related to feelings of inadequacy.


How do I talk to my husband about his weight?

  • First, ask for his permission to talk about his weight.
  • Pick an ideal time where you are calm and distractions can be avoided.
  • Think about what you will say before you start the conversation. 
  • Be positive and honest with him.
  • Talk about weight loss benefits. 
  • Offer to help and support him. 


All in all…

Talking to your husband about losing weight can be very difficult, especially when it comes across as judgemental. It can also be a confidence breaker if he doesn’t realize how much he has let himself go.


This is why you need to approach this as cautiously as possible. You know your husband best and how to get him to listen to you. Using this knowledge to your advantage, as well as other tips in this article to talk to him about his weight problem might just get through to him.





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