14 Helpful Tips on How to Ask Someone to Be in Your Wedding

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1. Decide on a Definite Number of Bridesmaids:

The average wedding party size consists of five people on either side of the bride and groom. This number can vary depending on the size of your wedding and the formality of the wedding. For example, if you prefer a smaller wedding and expect less than 100 guests, it’s wise to have no more than four people in the wedding party. On the opposite spectrum, weddings with more than 150 guests could have up to 12 people in the wedding party. The bigger the wedding party, the more details and people you need to organize and manage. When you start thinking about how to ask someone to be in your wedding, the first thing you need to consider is the size of your wedding.

2. When You ask Someone to be in your Wedding, There’s No Turning Back:

You will need to consider who will be in your wedding party carefully. You cannot go back on your word once you have asked someone to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. Choosing your wedding party will involve making some tough decisions. You will have to choose between your favorite friends and family members. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to text everyone the moment you get engaged. You may regret your decisions if you ask them to be in your bridal party via text. Instead, take your time and think about with whom you are closest. If you have trouble deciding which friends should and shouldn’t be in your bridal party, ask yourself if you will be close to the person five years from now. If the answer is yes, you may have found the right person to be in your bridal party.

3. Consider Everyone’s Feelings in the Bridal Party:

One person in your friend group may get the opportunity to be in the wedding party, and others may not. If you ask someone to be involved in your wedding, try to do it privately. Proposing in private will avoid unnecessary drama and awkward moments in your friend group. It is best to do it one-on-one. Some of your bridesmaids may not even know each other. Your bridal party is a fun mixture of friends and family from all walks of life. According to this graph, the most popular bridesmaids come from childhood and college friendships. Your childhood next-door neighbor may not know your college roommate. Because of these different relationship dynamics, take into consideration who you will be proposing to and when so you can avoid any awkward conversations down the line. As you decide on how to ask someone to be in your wedding, think about the chemistry your bridesmaids will have with each other through the wedding process. According to data taken from a survey done by Ultimatebridesmaids.com, here are the average percentages of how bridesmaids met the bride.

Average Percentage of How Bridesmaids Met the Bride

4. How to Choose a Maid of Honor for Your Wedding

Choosing the best man and maid of honor is a decision that sets the tone for the wedding. Consider who among your friends and family will act as your partner and “right-hand man” when planning and celebrating your wedding. When you think you have decided on the right person, it’s now time to tell them the great news! Gifts are not required, but if you’d like to ask someone to be your matron of honor, consider giving them a gift.

5. Consider Gifting a Basket/Tote to Your Maid of Honor:

Many brides opt to give their MOH a gift basket! Gift baskets are a great way to incorporate your best friend’s favorite snacks and fragrances. If you are wondering how to ask someone to be in your wedding, include customized t-shirts or sweatshirts in a gift basket. Gift baskets are a lovely way to ask someone to be in your wedding, but if you’d like to take it up a notch, consider putting all these items into a customized tote bag like this one from Amazon.

The customizable tote is a functional gift because it will come in handy on your wedding day. It will help the maid of honor carry any necessary items you might need last-minute.

6. Ask Someone to be in Your Wedding By Starting a Scrapbook:

When was the last time you printed out the pictures you have saved on your phone? Use this event as an opportunity to print out your favorite photos over the years and start a small scrapbook. Collect all the moments you’ve shared with your friends and family. Leave a couple of spaces open so they can fill them with their pictures and photos from the wedding. If you would like to ask someone to be in your wedding as a man or maid of honor, consider starting a scrapbook so you can both fill it with memories.

7. Schedule a Brunch or Dinner to Gather Your Potential Bridesmaids:

Your engagement party is not the appropriate time to ask your attendants to be in your bridal party. It will make the moment less memorable because it will cause tension between the bridal party and the wedding invitees. Instead, try hosting an official brunch where your wedding party members can meet and get to know each other before the planning and celebrations begin.

8. Ask Someone to be in Your Wedding with Customized Sweets:

When words fail, try using cake! No matter where you live, you can always commission your local bakery to craft the perfect confection that will pop the question for you. Give the sweets a personal touch and decorate their names on each treat. The great thing about this tip is that you can even make them yourself if you’re confident in the kitchen. Gifting your bridal party with a sweet treat puts a fun and unique twist on how to ask someone to be in your wedding. Plus, who could refuse a customized cupcake?

9. A Secret Message is a Funny Way to ask Someone to be in Your Wedding:

Are you a little sneaky? If you love a good surprise and a nice cup of coffee or tea, consider getting a “Hidden Message Mug” to pop the question to your bridesmaids. Hidden at the bottom of this unique mug is the question everyone wants to hear: “Will you be my bridesmaid?” Using a secret message is a sneaky take on how to ask someone if they will be in your wedding, especially if they are coffee-lovers. You can get this secret message coffee mug on amazon for a fun way to propose to your bridesmaids.

10. Customized Tumblers Make a Great Gift for Bridesmaids

From the bachelorette party leading up to the big day, you and your party will need to stay hydrated. If you want a fun and functional way to pop the question to your “I Do Crew,” try gifting them a reusable water bottle or tumbler personalized for the event. Many vendors on Amazon can supply you with the perfect tumbler. Giving a reusable tumbler is a resourceful and fun way to ask someone to be involved in your wedding.

11. Matching Pajamas are a Unique way to Ask Someone to be in Your Wedding

There will be plenty of sleepovers and late nights spent planning all the details of your wedding. Something that always brings friends and family a little closer is matching pajamas. Invest in some nice cotton pajamas for you and your bridal party. If you’d like to take it further, consider customizing each set with initials. You can find matching pajamas like these on Amazon. If you are struggling try gifting matching pajamas. This is a great way to propose to your bridal party as they will come in handy as you celebrate the events leading up to the wedding and on the morning of the big day.

12. Gather Your Potential Bridesmaids at an Art Class as a Fun Way to Ask Them to be in Your Wedding

If you like group activities, try taking a class with your bridal party. Candle-making courses are perhaps the best to take with your party. Candle-making takes place in private studios or shops. The candles you make with your group can be incorporated into your wedding. You can also get a discount on candles if you order through the vendor that is offering the class. Bring a bottle of wine and get ready to learn a new skill! If you need advice on how to ask someone to be in your wedding, consider gifting a candle-making class to your bridesmaids. If there are no candle-making classes near you, try to find a painting or pottery class locally.

13. Consider Cute Wedding Invitations for your Bridesmaids:

If you want to keep it simple and say what’s really on your mind, consider writing a simple, personal letter to each bridesmaid. In the note, tell them what you love about them and what made you come to this decision. It’s okay to make it sappy. Weddings are fun, but they can also be stressful and scary. You want to have the people you trust most around you during such a vulnerable moment. If you express that to them on a heartfelt note before the wedding, they will be sure to accept graciously. Many vendors supply custom-made bridesmaid proposal cards like these on Amazon. Consider writing a letter on a personalized postcard to ask your friend or family member if they will be in your wedding party.

Consider writing a letter on a personalized postcard to ask your friend or family member if they will be in your wedding party.

14. A Rest & Relaxation Kit is a Cute Bridesmaid Gift Idea

Weddings are stressful. There’s no way around it. However, if you know your wedding party will need some TLC, prepare them a self-care box ahead of time. In this box, you can include a bubble bath, face masks, sugar scrubs, and anything else you think will help your bridal party destress from all the wedding party responsibilities. You can put the box together with goods from local stores and homemade sugar scrub. Try picking out premade boxes like these from Amazon that specialize in self-care products. If you are unsure of how to ask someone to be in your wedding, consider sending them a self-care box with the proposal included on a card.


There are many guides on how to ask someone to be in your wedding, it depends on the person you are requesting. After your engagement, you will need to decide plenty of things. Make sure to determine who will be in your wedding party and stick with it. Once you decide on who you’d like to involve in your wedding, make a move with any of the above ideas. No matter how you choose to ask your loved one to be in your wedding party, it will be a precious moment to remember.


1. How do I ask someone to be in my wedding?

The best way to ask someone to be in your wedding is to be honest with them. Tell them exactly why you want them to be involved and what their involvement means to you. Don’t be afraid to hype them up a little bit. With open communication and a personalized gift or two, you should have no problem asking someone to be in your wedding?

2. What’s a unique way to ask someone to believe in my wedding?

A unique way to ask someone to be in your wedding is to offer a secret message. There are plenty of ways to do this, but my personal favorite is to provide your loved one a cup of coffee with the proposal engraved on the bottom of the mug. They will know that you want them to be your bridesmaid when they finish their coffee. Consider ordering a secret message coffee cup from Amazon If you want a unique way to ask someone to be in your wedding.

3. How can I ask someone to be my Maid of Honor?

Asking your loved one to be a maid of honor is big. You have to choose this person carefully because they have a lot of responsibility during your wedding planning phase and the big day itself. When asking someone to be your maid of honor, you should consider giving them something sentimental like a photo album or collage. Leave some open spaces so that you can fill them in with pictures of the celebration process. A scrapbook is a perfect way to ask someone to be your maid of honor because it is a sentimental and functional way to document memories from the past and present.





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