How to Get Over a Cheating Husband and Move on: 11 Ways to Get on With Your Life
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HOW TO GET OVER A CHEATING HUSBAND AND MOVE ON
Table of Contents
The biggest question after you have found out that your husband has been unfaithful is always “what do I do now?” Do you leave? Do you stay and try to make the relationship work? Does he want you to stay or did he tell you because he is leaving you for the other woman? After all, only 24% of all people who cheat admit to cheating.
So, how do you move on from a cheating husband? Here are a few ways that can help you move on from a cheating spouse and help you get back on your feet, better and stronger.
1. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL HURT
The first step that you need to take in order for you to move on from a cheating spouse is to allow yourself to feel all the emotions as they come to you. The anger, the hurt, the sudden burst of freedom, the regret, the relief – whatever emotion that comes to you when you find out that your husband has been unfaithful, feel it. Do not dare suppress any emotion or feel guilty about feeling whatever it is you are feeling. Every emotion you feel is valid, revel in it.
2. DO NOT SEEK REVENGE
If you are trying to get over a cheating spouse and move on, then seeking revenge should be very far from your mind. Rather, let yourself come to a place where you can accept what he has done for what it is and move on from the incident. Do not dwell on it or try to stay in the marriage just so you can get even with him and hurt him the way he has hurt you.
In order for you to successfully overcome a cheating husband, you must learn how to forgive him – not for his sake but for your own sanity. When you have forgiven him, you will not think of vengeance and you can finally move on from him and into your own life.
However, you are also allowed to express yourself, and here are a few helpful things you can say to someone who cheated on you – just to get a few things off your chest.
3. GET PRACTICAL
Another way you can ensure to triumphantly get over your spouse cheating is to get practical. Think about what you want your next moves to be and go ahead and execute them. Do you want to stay together? What would it take for your marriage to survive this? Or do you want to leave him? What would it take for you to leave him? What about the children? Is there a chance he might get violent when you leave him? If so, what measures should you take to protect yourself?
All of this will help you decide whether you want to get over a cheating husband and stay together or get over him and leave safely with your children (if there are any involved.)
4. GET LEGAL COUNSEL
If you are looking to get over a cheating husband and divorce him, then the next smart move would be to start looking into divorce lawyers. Find the best ones and take your case to court, or serve him divorce papers as soon as you can so that he knows that you are planning on leaving him.
5. LIMIT CONTACT
If you want to get past a cheating spouse, then you need to limit the amount of time that you see them or spend with them. This is assuming that you are moving on from his cheating ways and you have decided to live separately. However, it is hard to completely stay away from a man you are married to especially when you have children together. Therefore, the only other option that you have is not to cut him off completely but to limit the time you spend with him even with the kids around. That way you don’t get tempted and lured back into his web of lies.
6. HAVE A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM AROUND YOU
The easiest solution to getting over cheating is to have a strong support system around you when you need it the most. This could be family members or friends, or a support group of other women whose husbands were unfaithful, too. When you have been cheated on, you may feel like your whole world is falling apart, that someone you trusted with your life could betray you so much. It is important to surround yourself with people that have good intentions for you during this time.
It may seem like moving on from a cheater is impossible especially the weeks following the discovery of the affair, however, with the best support system, you will find yourself accepting your reality more easily and adjusting to a new life without your husband better than you would have had you been alone during your dark hour.
7. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Letting go of a cheating spouse is the best thing you can do for yourself. Letting go begins mentally, when you can let go of someone from your psyche, you can let them go in person easily. So meditate, practice yoga and mindfulness – be aware of your thoughts, go to the gym, take a spa day, and if you can afford it, take a vacation to get away from everything that is familiar and hence triggering.
Taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually will help you move on and quickly get over the fact that your husband cheated on you.
8. DO NOT VICTIMIZE YOURSELF
It is important when you are moving on from an affair that you do not take on the mindset of a victim. Moving on after infidelity is hard enough without you making it about how everything bad happened to you. Yes, you are allowed to feel like your whole world is falling apart – because it is, you are allowed to be sad and cry over your marriage, you are allowed to mourn the death of your trust in your husband – of course. However, you are not allowed to dwell and victimize yourself – not for other people’s sympathy, and definitely not to make your husband feel guilty about what he has done.
Yes, a horrible thing has happened and you are unfortunately a part of it. But do not let it define you for any longer than it has to. Do not let yourself wallow in self-pity and feed upon the sympathetic glances of others. Instead, get up, dress up and show up for yourself. Remember that when people are unfaithful, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You did not make them cheat, the cheating didn’t happen because of you, and the only way the cheating affects you is because it breaks a monogamy vow that you and this man took together and swore to each other. But that is where it ends. Do not give that man any satisfaction for breaking his vows. If anyone should be wallowing in pity, let it be him.
9. REFRAIN FROM ONLINE STALKING THE AFFAIR PARTNER OR YOUR HUSBAND
In this digital age, it might be hard to move on after being cheated on by husband, especially if he chooses to be with the person he cheated on you with. Social media provides us with all the tools it takes to keep up with the lives of others and if you know someone’s name you can pretty much find their shared life on social media. This can be a particularly easy rabbit hole to fall into when the person your husband cheated on you with is a friend or someone that you know. Statistically speaking, the person whom your husband will have an affair with is someone that you both know. Here are some signs your husband is cheating with your friend
If your goal is to move forward after being cheated on, you might want to stay away from social media. Looking them up, seeing what they have been up to since he left you, comparing yourself to her, comparing their life together with how your life and his were… the list is endless!
Shut your phone down, get off of social media for a while, if you have to, and focus on your life. And remember, no one posts their bad days on social media so what you are seeing is a perfectly curated life that they are deciding to share. Work on yourself and stop focusing on what the other woman is doing.
10. DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR CHILDREN IN THE DRAMA
When you are trying to get to moving past an affair, it is only fair that you do not bring the children into the drama. He might be your cheating husband, but he is still your children’s father. Do not speak ill of him in front of them, do not make your children choose sides, and most importantly, do not cut your children off from their father – no matter how angry you might be with him.
It is going to be hard to get over a cheating partner especially when you have children together. The best you can hope from a situation like that is that you are both mature enough to accept that raising your children is a priority over any pettiness that you may harbor against each other.
11. TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
Moving past an affair doesn’t happen at once. Some days you are going to feel okay, and some days you are going to go back to the first time you found out about the affair and you are going to break down all over again. And when this happens, it is okay to break for a while, but remember to always pick yourself up. Healing isn’t linear, even your worst days teach you something about yourself and the situation you are in. be kind with yourself, be gentle with yourself, and take care of yourself.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. My husband cheated on me how do I get over it?
Getting over infidelity is a process that takes months, and sometimes years because the thing about infidelity that is the hardest to build back up is trust. You can love your husband through his infidelity, still care for him, still want to be with him, but a part of you will never trust him the way you used to ever again. You will grow paranoid at every chuckle at the phone, every phone call he doesn’t take in front of you, and every passcode on his computer becomes another woman he is hiding from you. The question, therefore isn’t how do I get over my husband cheating on me but rather how do I trust my husband again after an affair. We would recommend couples therapy – get a third party to help you talk through your issues and help you rebuild the trust that you once had and when you have that, how you and your husband can work at keeping it so that neither of you is sneaking around and giving the other doubts. Here are some ways that can help you to trust someone again after cheating.
2. How long does it take to get over a cheating spouse?
There is no set timeline on how long it takes to get over a cheating partner. We are all different people and we work through things at different paces. Some people may get over it in a week, a month, a couple of months, a year, or even several years for others. Heal at your own pace. Do not force yourself to be okay just because people expect you to be or fake to be sad just because people will talk that you haven’t been sad long enough. Take time for yourself, however long (or short) you need.
In conclusion, this article has presented you with 11 amazing solutions on how to get over a cheating husband and move on. These solutions offer healthier options and what to do when you want to move on after being cheated on by husband, and how to get over cheating husband.
Moving on from any relationship is hard, but it is harder to move on from a relationship while getting over infidelity at the same time. The mental burden and toll getting cheated on takes on a person is a lot and you need to be gentle with yourself and make sure you heal yourself. Focus on all the things that bring you peace and less on stressing why he cheated on you or trying to keep up with him and his new life.
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