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How to get your marriage back on track?

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

  • No relationship is perfect. In any marriage, you are bound to hit a rough patch. There are many ways to get a marriage back on track, but it takes some work.
  • If you are experiencing marriage problems, the problem is not the union of marriage but the people within the partnership.
  • You and your partner are two vastly different people. Although you may have things in common, you are still two individuals from different walks of life. Here are some ways you and your partner can work on getting your marriage back on track.

Don’t Look For the Singular Issue.

If you are experiencing relationship issues, your first instinct is to look for why. As humans, we want immediate solutions to our problems. However, there is not one singular solution to your marital issues. Relationships are complex, and there are many moving parts to a marriage. While you may have one major issue affecting your marriage, it is important to look at the relationship dynamic. Experts call this the ‘kitchen sink’ approach. If you are looking for tips on how to get your marriage back on track, you will need to look at all the ways you can improve upon your marriage. 



Don’t Be Afraid to get Physical 

Sure, sex is an important aspect of marriage. However, experts say that real intimacy involves allowing your spouse into your respective personal space. There are many ways to show physical affection without engaging in sex. Think about the number of times you kissed your partner today. Would it feel taboo to kiss or hold your partner’s hand without reason? Small acts of physical intimacy go a long way. Unfortunately, physical touch disappears from a relationship as time passes. There’s still time to reintroduce these acts until they become a habit. You may find that small acts of physical intimacy play a big role in getting your marriage back on track. 



Spend Time on Shared Activity 

If you are looking for help on how to get your marriage back on track, try to find an activity you enjoy together. An activity such as taking a pottery class, playing scrabble on Saturday nights, or crafting. Making hobbies will spark intimacy. It is important to find time together to work on a shared activity to get your marriage back on track. 

 

Consider Self-Improvement 

As you go through the motions of marriage, kids, and work, you may find yourself getting stuck in a rut. All married couples fall out of their honeymoon stage, and times can get tough. If you are wondering if there is a way to get your marriage back on track, you’re in luck! Sometimes the answer lies within ourselves. As you get married and raise children, you may lose yourself in the chaos of family life. You owe it to yourself to focus on your self-improvement. If you struggle to get your marriage back on track, perhaps you need to change some aspects of yourself before blaming your marriage. Consider talking to your partner about the elements of your life that you would like to improve. Maybe you’d like to eat healthier, or perhaps you need to have more patience. By focusing on yourself, you avoid blaming your marriage and take responsibility for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with changing things about yourself you don’t like. Considering self-improvement may help your marriage flourish. 

 

Show Vulnerability 

Those who need help with their marital issues may not be showing vulnerability. When you live with your spouse under the same roof, you may compete or try to be perfect. You may be afraid to admit your flaws because you don’t want to be blamed for why your marriage is failing. Failure to be vulnerable is like the kiss of death for couples who have been together for a long time. If you want to learn how to get your marriage back on track, you must be emotionally available. Being vulnerable is difficult because you must express negative and positive emotions with your partner, even if you are at fault. Compassion will reignite your love and breed intimacy, even if it’s difficult to express your feelings. If you have marital issues and struggle to connect with your spouse, consider taking a leap of faith and telling your partner how you feel with honesty and compassion. Don’t be afraid to express yourself first. You may never know what your partner will say back by starting the conversation. 

 

Make Plans 

When was the last time you took a trip with your spouse? Do you have an idea of how you would like to spend your retirement? What are you looking forward to most when you think of spending your life with your spouse? Your marriage has fallen off track because you are not striving for the future. If you wonder, “How can I get my marriage back on track?” you may need to share some goals with your partner to give yourself something to look forward to. This method works best when you make short, medium, and long-term plans. Make a list of all goals you would like to achieve together. Don’t forget to record individual goals too. Your lists should include personal dreams and goals you’d like to achieve together. When you begin to make plans for the future with your partner, you will spend more time together, problem-solve, and build intimacy between one another. 

 

Can I Get My Marriage Back on Track? 

For those asking: “can I get my marriage back on track?” Unfortunately, there is no straight answer to that question. Every relationship is different. While we cannot tell you exactly why your marriage is off track, we can provide insight into the most common reasons. According to a recent national survey, 73% of respondents state that their partner’s lack of commitment is the driving factor for divorce. If you are struggling with marriage problems, you may need to reevaluate your relationship. Are any of these issues impacting your marriage? How can you take steps to change them? 

Why people are divorcing in United States

Let Go of Grudges 

If you are still angry with your spouse because they didn’t unload the dishwasher three weeks ago, or maybe they spent too much time at the bar last week, you may be holding a grudge. You sabotage your relationship when you hang on to bad memories and grudges. Part of the reason you’re having marital issues could be because you’re holding onto grudges. If you find yourself angry at your spouse for things they did in the past, you need to let them go. Write it all out. Everything that has been bothering you during the entirety of your relationship needs to come out on paper. Take your time with this and think of all the wrongdoings that are clouding your judgment of your spouse. It’s so easy to look at your husband or wife and remember what they did to hurt you two years ago. You may not have forgiven them for what they’ve done. Take the time to write down everything and wallow in your misery. You may feel a lot of pain exposing yourself to these bad memories, but the pain is an important part of this process. Allow yourself to feel every emotion at once and then let it go. Once you have allowed yourself to feel the feelings, burn the paper and forget about it. You no longer need to hold a grudge or think about the past because these feelings no longer serve you and damage your marriage. 

 

Write a Eulogy for Your Spouse 

While this tip seems a little dark, experts claim it is an important practice that can help you get your marriage back on track. Life is short, and death could come upon us at any time. If your partner were to pass away tomorrow, what would you do? What would you say at their funeral? Think about it, and write it out. This exercise will help you put your relationship into perspective. Would you eulogize the negative aspects of your spouse? Of course not. Take this exercise seriously if you want to get your marriage back on track. Think of all the fun times you’ve spent together, inside jokes, embarrassing moments, and the things that made you fall in love in the first place. 

 

Remember You Have a Choice 

If it feels like you’ve exhausted all your options in getting your marriage back on track, remember that you have a choice to stay in your marriage. If you feel your marriage is too far off track, separation may be the key. Start on a trial basis, and try to work on yourself. Maybe get a hotel room for the week, or stay with family. Take note of how you feel away from your spouse. Are you relieved? Document your feelings and express them to your partner, asking them to do the same. When you reconvene, share your feelings and be vulnerable with each other. You may find that you cannot salvage your marriage. Perhaps it’s best to go separate ways, and that’s fine. If you think you are better off without your spouse, you always have the choice to walk away. Couples trying to get their marriage back on track may not always find success. Marriage is hard, and saying goodbye is even harder. However, you need to do what you believe is right for yourself and your spouse. 

FAQ

  1. Is there a way to get your marriage back on track?
    • There are many ways to get your marriage back on track. Perhaps the best way to get your marriage in order is to focus on activities that spark intimacy. Do you and your partner have any shared interests? As we go through the motions of daily life, marriage, and children, we often forget the things that bring us joy. The best way to get your marriage back on track is to focus on a shared activity that will bring you closer together, sparking intimacy. As you work together on the shared activity like pottery, hiking, or playing cards, try to be vulnerable with each other. Reach out and touch your partner’s hand, be intimate without having sex. There are many ways to get your marriage back on track, and it all starts with quality time.
  2. Is it possible to get the marriage back on track?
    • While it is possible to get your marriage back on track, it won’t happen overnight, and it will not be easy. You will need to be vulnerable and express your emotions with your partner. Allow yourself to experience emotions rather than suppressing them. Let go of grudges and admit to wrongdoings. You are a team, not rivals. Be patient and trust the process. If you feel as though you’re putting in the effort, but it is not returned, or you cannot salvage the marriage, remember you have the choice to leave. 



  1. How do I save my marriage? 
    • There is no one answer to this question. You can look at the issues that plague your relationship and try to change behavior that adds stress to your marriage. Put in the work to make a difference and be open to communication. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, and take your partner’s boundaries seriously. 

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