11 Ways to Know if Someone Wants to Be Your Friend

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

Most of us like to surround ourselves with friends. We expect those friends to be there for us when we need them and vice versa. We want them to listen to us when facing any problem and be there for us in happy and joyful moments.

Making friends, however, is not in any way an easy thing. It is tricky to know if a person feels the same as how you are feeling about them. Sometimes you might find yourself wondering if a person wants to be your friend or not, and you will want to know what you should keep your eyes on to make sure your intuition is right.

This article will help you figure out the signs that someone wants to be your friend. We have explored it in different scenarios to make sure that we mention as many possible signs considering that people are very different in expressing themselves.

We have split it into several categories regarding the setting of where you see the person. Here are our categories:

  • Neighbors
  • Co-workers
  • School/University
  • Random person and gestures

Before going into depth in these categories, here are a few signs of healthy friendship and things a person who wants to be your friend would do.


Loyalty means being by the person’s side through the good times and the bad. A good friend will be there to support you when you need them the most.


A good friend is trustworthy. You can trust them with your secrets and feelings. You can show them a more vulnerable side of you without feeling judged.

Kind gestures

A good friend will be ready to help you and make kind gestures towards you whenever they can. Of course, your kind gestures in a healthy friendship always have to be both ways. Every gesture that you expect from a great friend should be projected back too.

They check on you

A good friend will always find time to check on you and make sure you are doing okay. Distance usually can reduce the frequency of how much you see each other. However, a best friend is always supposed to make time and catch up, even if it is for a few minutes to make sure you are okay.

Top 5 list of qualities friends look for in friends | Source: squarespace.com

Top 5 list of qualities friends look for in friends

Now that you know all the signs of a healthy friendship, here are the most common places and situations where you will find yourself wondering how to tell if someone wants to be your friend or someone likes you as a friend, and the best ways to point out these signs


If you are sensing that your neighbor wants to be in your life and befriend you, but you want more assurance on how to differentiate it from them just being polite, here are a few guidelines:

1. They always try to spark up a conversation with you.

Every time you ran to them in the morning or during the day,  they will try to spark up a conversation with you even if it is little talk.

2. They send you treats and invite you over

A neighbor who wants to be your friend will start to invite you over on special occasions like Christmas or watch a game or sport both of you are interested in.

Sometimes your neighbor will also be sending you extra treats during the holidays or any special occasion than they do for anyone else.

3. They are always offering to help.

Neighbors who want to be friends will try to offer a helping hand to you and let you know that they are available whenever you need them, whether with babysitting, moving, or personal troubles.


4. They start including you

They will be friendly to you and ask you how your day has been or how your weekend went

They might start asking you specifically to hang around on the weekend or invite you to come with them to different events or concerts

5. Spend their breaks with you

Co-workers who want to be friends with you will start eating lunch with you and letting you tell you about their families and personal lives. They might even start telling you secrets or emotional stories, which basically means that they trust you or find some comfort in you.

6. Help you at your job

Friendly co-workers will not only want to have a good time with you, but will also be there for you to help you with your workload. They might volunteer to stay working with you after working hours if you are loaded or offer to work together.


7. They try to help you

They are offering to help with your schoolwork or are suggesting you do it together. Students might often request such things because they might need your help with their school work, so if you are not comfortable or have too much on your shoulder already, you can politely decline their offer.

8. They invite you to study or have fun together

A classmate that wants to be friends might invite you to study groups or study nights. If they invite you to do activities together over the weekend or in their free time, they are most probably trying to get close to you and be your friend.

General gestures a person would do that shows they want to be your friends:

9. They want to get to know you

A person trying to be your friend will also try to ask you in-depth questions about your life. The more responsive you are, the more questions they may want to ask, and that is how you know they are interested in getting to know you better, which is a big signal that the person is trying to be your friend.

10. They add you on social media.

The majority of us will add or accept anyone on social media as long as we have met them in the past or having a couple of mutual friends. Even if anyone you barely know has access to your social media, a person who is trying to be your friend might try to be more interactive with you on social media sites. For instance, they might be sending you news, other content you are interested in or chat with you on the sites.

11. They have your back

Whether it is work, school, or any other setting, a person who wants to be your friend will try to defend you or reduce the risk of embarrassing you or making you feel ashamed in public. That is how you know they care about your feelings.

If you notice a person making an effort to do any of the things mentioned above for you, you can be confident that they want to be friends. These days, everyone is busy with their everyday lives, so anyone who regularly goes out of their way to get to know you better or helps you in any way most likely wants to be friends with you.

How to tell if someone wants to be your friend or is just using you:

Every individual is different, therefore making all of our encounters with different people is a new experience to a certain extent. That is why it can sometimes be tricky to identify the true intentions of a person until later on, which will make it a lesson for you. However, here we have listed out a few repetitive behaviors in people who just want to take advantage of you rather than be your friend:

1. They are not around you when you need them the most

When you think someone is your friend, you will expect them to be present when you are going through a rough patch. A fake friend always happens to be busy or occupied every time you are going through something rough, and they would not even take a few minutes to check on you. If you try to open up about your problems, they always try to dismiss it.

2. They call you only when they need something:

People who want to take advantage of you will usually call you only when they want a favor from you. They will get closer to you in times where they want help with their own problems. This behavior can occur anywhere, ranging from the workplace and classrooms. Always stay away from this kind of people. They might be acting kind and extremely friendly towards you, but if you notice that their behavior is like this only when they want something, then stay away from them or confront them about how you feel.

3. They don’t invite you to be around their other friends or don’t introduce you as their friend.

It’s true that people might try to keep their group of friends separate (work friends, casual friends, etc). However, if someone looks like they are ashamed to introduce you as a friend to a fellow coworker or avoids being seen with you in public gatherings, that is a big sign that they have no interest in being your friend. They might be sticking around with you in private and being nice to you in private to take advantage of you or use you.

Frequently asked questions

  • Are social media friends the same as real-life friends?

Many of us might find it easier to make friends on the internet because you can choose from thousands of people, and there doesn’t have to be a lot of attachment. However, social media friendship cannot be as legit as a real-life friendship.

  • How can you know if a shy person is trying to be your friend?

Shy people will not be evident with how they feel about you at all. The signs they give of warning to be friends with you can be much more subtle than the signs an easy-going, confident person would give, so it can be much easier for their gestures to go unnoticed. You can notice if a shy person wants to be friends with you if they try to spark up a conversation with you, even if it is short. You will also find them talking and being more comfortable around you than they are with anybody else in your surroundings.

  • How can you kindly decline someone’s interest in trying to be your friend?

It can be tough to be in a position where someone wants to be your friend, but you don’t. You can really hurt them by telling them the truth but, that’s better than letting them hang around without any answers. You can kindly tell a person you are not interested in being friends by letting them know clearly that you are busy with life or are too focused on other life matters to be invested in a friendship. To make such an encounter less hurtful, you can also let the person know that you appreciate them and are thankful for everything they have done for you.


There you have it; we have listed everything you need to point out when trying to figure out if someone wants to talk to you and be friends with you. We have also clarified what it can look like when someone is trying to be your friend over when they are just trying to take advantage of you. Beware of these people, especially if they waste a lot of your time or drain your energy. 

Remember that if you are still wondering if someone is trying to be your friend, you can always choose to have a straightforward conversation with them regarding your relationship over coffee or lunch instead of trying to pick up the signs.





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