How to Tell if Your Husband Is Lying: 13 Signs He Is Being Unfaithful
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
There are many reasons why husbands lie in relationships. Sometimes they lie to protect the wife’s feelings over small things such as their opinion on the wife’s appearance. These are called small lies or white lies – lies that are told that are harmless and do not pose a threat to the relationship or marriage.
And then there are big lies, these are lies that could potentially destroy the marriage if found out. These lies in
As evidenced from the chart above, the most common big lie told frequently by married men to their wives is when they are being unfaithful. The same survey concluded that infidelity was the main reason why couples separated and ultimately divorced.
So, what does this mean for you? It means that the information we are about to share with you in this article has the potential to make or break your marriage. If you are looking for these signs in your husband because you suspect that he is cheating, be aware of the consequences that finding out that he is could have in your life. With that being said, let us dive into the signs that your husband is lying to you.
1. BODY LANGUAGE
Reading someone’s body language is an amazing way on how to tell if your husband is lying about cheating. When we speak, our bodies match our words – so when we say yes, our heads nod, and when we say no our heads shake. These are called non-verbal cues and they can help you identify whether or not your husband is lying to you. These cues are involuntary and therefore easy to spot once you know what you are looking for.
2. AVOID EYE CONTACT
A great trick on how to tell if your man is lying is to see if he is avoiding eye contact with you when you ask him questions. Eye contact is a great part of communication, in most parts of the world it is considered polite to maintain eye contact when having a conversation with someone. It shows interest and it can also be an indicator that the person is telling you accurate information. Therefore, when you are asking your husband about a lie that you have caught him in, and he avoids eye contact or can’t look at you in the face, it is a sign of deception and also shame. Most of the time, when people are caught in lies, they know that they have betrayed their partners and they feel ashamed either of the action or the fact that they have gotten caught. Either way, someone avoiding looking you in the eye during a confrontation is a huge indicator that they are lying to you.
A dishonest husband will always get defensive when questioned by his wife about something that he did. Husbands that lie to their wives do not provide information when backed into a corner and they have no more lies to tell. Instead, they will get really defensive about anything – your actions i.e. “why were you looking at my phone anyway?” or “I am no longer having this conversation with you since you don’t want to let it go”
You cannot do anything right by a dishonest husband, he will turn on you and may even resort to giving you the silent treatment just so he can avoid talking to you about this one thing.
4. INCONSISTENCY IN STORIES/INFORMATION BEING PROVIDED
Possibly the most obvious sign that shows that your husband is lying to you is when the stories he tells you keep changing and every time you ask there is new information or a detail that wasn’t there before. If the story is inconsistent and it keeps changing, chances are he is lying to you – and not very well.
5. LACK OF USING PRONOUNS
If you are suspecting your husband of cheating, ask him a simple question about who he spent his day with. If he was cheating on you, he will not mention the pronouns of the person he was with. He will try as much as possible to refer to use ‘they/them’ and unless he has a new nonbinary friend you don’t know about, chances are they are trying to conceal the identity and gender of the person that they were with because they know it will make you feel uncomfortable or they have been engaging in extramarital activities.
One of the most obvious signs of a liar in a relationship is their posture. Science has proven that the body has ways that it tells the people around you whether or not you are lying and although most of them are microexpressions, they are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for.
Posture is one of the signs that can give away when you suspect that your husband always lies to you. Studies have found that when people are lying, they tend to slouch, fidget, and lean to the left side of their body. When you notice your husband exhibiting any of these signs any time you ask him something, chances are he is lying to you and it might be time to look further into it.
A strange characteristic that a husband lying about affair might exhibit is overconfidence. This is a deliberate move on the husband’s part because he knows that being fidgety and coming at a loss for words will give him away and all his lies will be exposed. When an overconfident husband lies to his wife, he will have all the answers ready, he will be composed (almost robotic), and mostly he will be emotionless. Look out for these signs the next time you catch your husband in a lie and he tries to get out of it. The thing that gives them away is that their speech will sound rehearsed, this might be because they knew a day like this would come where you would find out about their affair and depending on what kind of person you are, what kind of questions you might ask, and rehearse the answers they will give down to the T. The best way to disrupt this confidence is to ask a question that is out of character for you, something unexpected that will throw them off their rehearsed speech.
8. YOU’VE CAUGHT THEM IN A LIE BEFORE
Perhaps the most obvious way to know if your husband is a liar or to assess if you are indeed married to a liar is to look back at a time when you had caught them in a lie. What was their reaction? Were they apologetic? Did they take responsibility? Did they avoid the issue? Did they sweep it under a rug and hoped you would let it go? The answers to these questions will tell you if your husband is a liar or not. Everyone lies, that is a fact. However, people who lie often (pathological liars) find it hard to accept and take responsibility for their lies, instead, they shift blame, gaslight, and ignore the problem until it goes away. The way your husband acts when you catch him in a lie will indicate to you whether or not it was an honest mistake or if the only thing that is stopping them is the fact that you have found out about their lie. If it is the latter, you should probably investigate more because there are definitely more lies waiting to be uncovered.
9. USING HONESTY WORDS
Another way to detect a husband that constantly lies is to pay attention to their words when you confront them about a lie they have told. Husbands who lie have one thing in common and that is to make you believe in their lies and trust that they have the best intentions. So when you catch your husband in a lie, big or small, watch the language he uses. Does he say things like “trust me” “believe me” “I would never lie to you” when you confront him on issues and never really addresses the issue? Then your husband is definitely lying to you and avoiding the confrontation by using honesty words which will make you think he has no reason to lie to you.
On the other hand, you may get the passive-aggressive “are you going to believe them over me?” or “believe what you want” This is a liar’s way of dismissing you when you start to make them uncomfortable or their lies start to make them look bad. They would rather shift the blame onto you than own up to their lies.
10. THEY TRY TO GASLIGHT YOU
A sure sign that lying deceitful husbands have in common is that they will try and make you think that you are making everything up and make you question what events are real and what events are made up. This is called gaslighting and it is a tool that husbands that lie use to manipulate their wives because if you cannot remember in great detail what you think (or know) happened, then you must be making everything up.
But how can you know when you are being gaslighted? It can be quite hard to pick up on it especially when you have never been gaslighted before, but here are some signs you should look out for to know if you are being gaslighted by your husband. If when you confront your husband about a lie that he has told, and he tells you to “add more detail” or “explain further” even after you have laid down your argument, he is most likely gaslighting you.
If you find yourself having to remember every single detail about an event before you confront your husband so that there are no gaps in your story, chances are you have been gaslighted and your husband has on occasion made you question your own reality even when you had the evidence to backup your claims.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that a lot of liars use to confuse and derail the conversation away from them because while you are trying to remember all the information they are asking from you, you will have stopped focusing on them and start focusing on the details and second guessing yourself.
11. YOU HAVE A GUT FEELING
Sometimes all it takes is a feeling deep down your heart that nags you nonstop and makes you think “my husband is a liar” “my husband has been lying to me” or “my husband has lied to me.” This is known as a gut feeling or intuition. Intuition usually happens when your subconscious mind has picked up on subliminal messages, body language, and speech cues from your husband that were either missed or dismissed by the conscious mind. If this feeling persists, do not hesitate and shy away from looking further into it because more often than not – your gut feeling will not mislead you and the sooner you find out about what your husband is lying to you about, the sooner you can confront him and have a discussion on what his lies mean to your marriage.
12. THEY BECOME DISTANT
Most of the time husbands that lie to their wives will become distant in their marriage. This is because things can get a little bit complicated when the husband lies and hides things and so a safe way for them to not get caught is to distance themselves from their wives, because this way, they don’t have to explain their actions to anyone and their wife will just assume that they did something wrong instead of looking for clues and noticing the inconsistencies in his story.
13. UNWILLING TO TOUCH YOU
Lastly, but definitely not least, a sure way to confirm suspected infidelity is to watch how his affections towards you change. When your husband no longer touches you or wants to be close and intimate with you, it may be very possible that he is getting his loving from someone else. The first step to spot a liar in a relationship is to ask him why he is no longer wanting to be intimate with you, his answer to this question (and how he approaches it) will tell you everything you need to know about your husband and whether or not he is lying to you. Just look at the above list for more information!
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. Why does my husband lie so much?
Sometimes people lie because they can, or because they are trying to justify it as a way of keeping you safe and not hurting you. Truth is, everyone who lies to you has their own reasons for doing so and their reasons do not have to justify how their lies made you feel or influence you in any way. If your husband lies to you all the time, chances are he is a pathological liar and he lies just because he feels like it. He will even lie about things that he doesn’t need to just because he can.
2. How do I know if my husband is telling the truth?
The only way you can know if your husband is telling the truth is to ask him if he is lying to you or not. One of the two things will happen; they will either come clean to you, or they will try to convince you that you are making a big deal out of nothing. When he cannot give you a straightforward answer that takes responsibility for his actions accompanied by an apology, then you know he is lying to you. Because anything else that is not an admission and an apology (assuming you have evidence that proves him a liar) is a lie.
In conclusion, signs that your husband is lying can come in different ways such as a feeling of “my husband is lying to me” also known as the gut feeling, or a change in his body language. This article has covered 13 different signs that a lying husband may exhibit. We hope that by combining more than one of these, you can be able to determine whether or not your husband is cheating on you and/or lying to you.
Related Article: What to do When Your Boyfriend Lies To Your Face
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