What’s a Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts for the weddings

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Have you already pick the big date? Congrats! That’s the first step in planning a beautiful wedding, and probably the easiest one. If you are not sure what to do next, check out our guide on How to Plan a Wedding With Step-By-Step Instructions. We know you’ll face many challenges on the way, especially with the gift-giving. You’re probably sitting there, thinking about how you could actually use monetary gifts more than any material stuff. Still, you know that your guests will actually focus on the new home appliances, tech gadgets, and home decorations, and you already have so many of those! Is there any way to avoid that, you may ask? Sure it is! That’s why you have us to help you out.

We heard a lot of people asking how to politely ask for money for the wedding. Honestly, it’s a tough one, and we don’t have a straightforward answer. Guests will always respond differently. The ones that are more traditional will certainly be shocked. However, times have changed. We are certain you’re imagining they’ll say things like: “They are asking for money! Isn’t that rude or what?” The truth is, there are only a few ones that will think that. If you come up with a polite way to introduce your idea to the guests, there’s a possibility that nobody will think that .

Now, we are sure you have a lot of questions regarding the topic. That’s why we did our best to answer the most burning ones in the following article. We also come up with some amazing ideas on how to actually ask for money instead of gifts for the wedding. Yes, you’ll find a lot of suggestions below, so don’t stop scrolling!

Before we start with the list, here are some things you should think about

  • Traditionally, gifts such as home appliances and tech stuff were welcomed by newlyweds because they didn’t have much to start with. Nowadays, couples start living together before marriage, which allows them to pile up all these things beforehand/in advance.
  • The current world economy pushes us into a different kind of living. We need monetary gifts more because living without a new coffee maker is possible, but you can’t live without daily essentials you would buy for that money.
  • Some might say that it’s never okay to ask for a specific gift, but we say that’s a matter of how you ask. If picked wisely, words can take you a long way.
  • Think about your guests’ feelings, but don’t forget about your needs. You and your partner know what you need for your life together more than anyone who will attend the wedding. You just need to learn how to ask for monetary wedding gifts.

Is it too impersonal to ask for money instead of gifts?

It might seem impersonal but giving cash is actually, as we said, the best way to help the newly married couples. With monetary gifts, you give couples a chance to get what they need for the future. We all prefer different things. Those you find are the best for starting a new life might not be on the top of the list of other people, and vice versa. That’s why giving money is such a great idea. Why would it be too impersonal to give someone a chance to get what they actually want and need?

Weddings aren’t about gifts anyway. Or at least they shouldn’t be, right? It’s about celebrating the start of a love story and letting the closest people taking part in the event. Therefore, don’t you think that being offended by the monetary request is a little bit pointless? Of course, we understand why that happens. The first thought on such a request is “Don’t they think I can find the perfect gift? Are they worried I might choose the wrong one?” That’s why it’s crucial to ask for money in the right way. If you ask politely, people won’t get you in the wrong way. If you explain why you need money they’ll understand and support you. They also won’t think you are doing this just because you don’t believe in them being capable of buying suitable gifts. 

The thing is, you shouldn’t worry whether asking for monetary gifts sounds impersonal or not. It might be misinterpreted, that’s true, but you should focus more on how you do it. That way, you’ll avoid awkward situations and also prevent people from thinking about monetary gifts being impersonal. If you talk to your guests and explain why you need the money more (e.g. We would love to invest in a new home!), we are sure they’ll understand.

Indirect approach

You might be a person who likes to be open about stuff and prefer direct approaches in life, but sometimes that might not be the best way of communication. If you are communicating with your guests regularly, and we suppose you do, you should just put subtle hints in the conversation now and then. Mention something like:” Oh we have so much stuff lying around in our apartment, we just don’t know what to do with all of that”. With that in mind, why would anyone opt for appliances? You can also start topics about gift-giving and share your opinion on the matter. Say how you think gifts can be rather useful, but that monetary gifts are, in some situations, even better! Clever, right?

Share your plans

Talk to your friend and share your plans for the future! Express your wishes to include them in your plans. Let’s say you need a house or a car. You can start a topic about how hard it is to save money for that kind of purchase. Or you can talk about how hard is to put some money aside to buy all the necessary stuff for the baby. You can even casually mention that you’ll have a box for cards at the reception. When you combine all these things into one context, your guests will realize they can be a part of your plans in building a new life, so they’ll be happy to help. After all, people are more likely to give money if they know where that money is going.

Let your friends help you

There’s a chance that your guests will ask you about gifts themselves. People really want to give something useful; no one will get a “bad gift” on purpose. So, even if they don’t come to you, they might ask some of your friends what would you like to get for a wedding. That’s where things get interesting and convenient for you! You get to ease things for your guests (and yourself, of course) by spreading the word among your friends.  

People usually ask the bride and groom’s closest friends about registry information. All you have to do is tell your friends what to say. It could be something direct like “Oh they have a very short list on a wedding registry because they own almost everything. I know they are saving for a new car, though.

Maybe you could help them out with a small monetary contribution? They’ll surely have a gift card box  at the reception”. You can also take the indirect approach and inform your closest friends to answer something vague like “Gosh, I don’t know, they are so overwhelmed with material stuff. I can’t think of anything they could actually use! Maybe you could go with monetary gifts?”

Registries, do we really need them? 

The simple answer would be: Yes, we do. A wedding registry is an elegant and polite way to ask for money for a wedding. Gift registries are a must-have for those guests who prefer to give you material stuff, and for you to know who gave you what. If you are unsure about making a registry you can always check out our article on How Many Items to Put on a Wedding Registry.

However, if you’re going for monetary gifts, a cash registry is what you really need. There are many websites that offer that kind of service; it’s just a click away! You can also get an all-inclusive registry for monetary and physical gifts, so your guests can choose the one that is most suited for them.

A cash registry became popular with the rise in demand for unconventional approaches to gift-giving. That’s a mix of the traditional wedding registry, which was also taboo back in the day, and crowdfunding websites. The “crowd” of course would be your wedding guests, who are contributing to the common goal (the one you set up). 

For example, you can make a honeymoon registry and plan all the expenses you might come across on your trip. The registry could include stuff like “dinner in a nice restaurant” or “tickets for a play”. That way, when your guests donate the money, they will know exactly what they are getting you. The problem is that you have to plan everything in detail so all the expenses can be covered.  

You need to be careful with this though. Cash registry websites don’t plan for free, so technically, your lack of courage to ask your friends for gifts has a “small” price. Consider whether it’s wise to give a cut of your gifts to someone just so they can be your middle man.

There’s always the straightforward way

As we already said, asking for money instead of wedding gifts can be done directly. Not via invitations, not with cash registries, but through an open dialog with your dear guests. Say the stuff you mean, but say it politely, and in a light-hearted way. People might think it’s rude to talk about money, but the way you say something determines whether it’s rude or not. So talking openly won’t be perceived as rude as long as you are not rude yourself. We know that if you and your spouse sit face to face with any guest even he/she will realize that there’s no need to get offended.

What not to do?

Although asking for money instead of wedding gifts isn’t bad at all, it’s still important how you do it. As we already pointed out, the way you say you want money will probably determine how your guests will react. Naturally, if you opt for an abrupt approach, they’ll probably misunderstand your intentions.

First thing first, remember the purpose of the wedding. The most important thing is to have your friends and family with you on a big date. Although important and welcome, gifts are not necessary. Tell your guests how all that you want is for them to show up. . You don’t want them to feel obligated to bring gifts. The guests still want to give you something, so they just need a clue.

If you are a shy type of person or you want to be unique, there are a lot of Cute Ways to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift. Still, you must remember not to put all the spotlight of your wedding on gift-giving. Focus on the more pleasant aspects of your wedding plans and treat this just as a passing thing. You don’t want negativity to ruin your special day, right?


Whatever you decide, be sure to send “thank you” cards when you first get the chance. Your guest took the time to be a part of your wonderful day. You need to let them know how much you appreciate that. that their attendance is appreciated.

Even though monetary gifts are the norm all over the world, especially in Europe, people here aren’t used to it. So, you were wise to come to us, and check out our ideas on a nice way to ask for money instead of gifts for weddings. We are sure at least one of our suggestions proves to be just the right way to go for you. However, don’t be surprised if you still get a few of those wrapped presents. You can’t change the mind of every single guest, nor you have to. You just need to gather up the courage and speak your mind, so you don’t end up with five unwanted toasters that you can’t even sell on eBay!





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