3 Cute Ways to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift That Aren’t Tacky
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Even when you come up with cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift, you definitely feel like you’re being a bit tacky.
There’s something about asking for money from people who’re not obligated to give you cash that makes anything you say seem odd and inappropriate. Think about it. How would you feel if a long-lost relative you haven’t spoken to in ages to asked you to spot them a few hundred dollars? While the first thought is they might be in some bit of trouble, you also can’t wonder where they got the guts to ask you for cash. Now, that’s a person you’re related to. Imagine what a total stranger would feel if you asked them for money, even if they’re going to spend money to gift you.
Why Asking for Wedding Cash Gifts Is Hard (And Rightfully So)
#1: Asking for Cash Often Uncovers Insecurities in Both Parties
Asking for money uncovers insecurities and doubts, especially when you’re asking for it without having done something in return. There’s a difference when you request your employer for money as compensation for work done and asking for money without having done anything. After all, we use currency as a means of exchange. Quid pro quo, according to psychologists.
Asking for cash without giving something in return is often viewed as a social faux pas.
And the reality is we would rather hoard our cash wands rather than giving it away whenever someone asks us to folk it over.
When you ask for money as a wedding gift, guests are going to think “Why are they having a wedding in the first place? If the wedding’s too expensive, why not scrap the whole ostentatious and wasteful affair altogether? We shouldn’t have to foot their bill to get hitched!” That’s the polite version. Most likely, a few choice words get sneaked in there.
#2: Asking for Money Gifts Is Asking That Person to Put a Price Tag On Your Relationship
Another reason why asking for cash gifts is rather tricky is, it makes the cash giver put a monetary value to your relationship.
When☛a co-worker sends you a wedding invitation with an accompanying note asking for cash presents, you would be hard-pressed to figure out how much to give. Is your friendship worth a $50 check? $100 or $200 even?
There’s simply no way of figuring out how much you should give. You can only rely on your current financial position as a wobbly compass. And if you do end up giving a cash gift, how will it affect the dynamics of your relationship? Will they think any lesser of you because you only wrote a $50 check?
These are the kind of questions that make it especially hard for guests at a wedding to give cash gifts. They are also the kind of questions that make it so hard for you to ask them for cash gifts since you innately know they’ll be asking themselves these questions.
But asking for money instead of other gifts, especially for weddings, makes perfect sense even when you know it’s not the right etiquette. Perhaps you’re not planning on upgrading your home, and the tiny space won’t fit any new items. Or, you need money to fund a project you couldn’t otherwise complete without extra funds. There are lots of reasons why couples would prefer cash over other gifts for their wedding.
But there are even less cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift.
The reason why we find it so hard to ask for cash as gifts, wedding or no wedding, is simple. Asking someone for money often makes you seem tacky.
That said, here are a couple of examples of how not to ask for money as a gift for your wedding.
Wrong Ways of Asking For Money as a Wedding Gift
#1: Sending Out Wedding Invitations With a Line That Reads: “No Boxed Gifts Please”
Asking your guests for other gifts, other than boxed ones, may seem innocent and even polite, doesn’t it? But it’s lousy wedding etiquette to stipulate the kind of gifts guests should give.
Why is it wrong?
Well, asking for gifts is simply wrong. According to etiquette experts, there is no polite way to ask for gifts of any sorts. No one owes you a gift, whether it is your wedding day or your☛60th birthday. Gift-giving is the choice of the gift giver. If they want to give you a juicer for your wedding, they should be able to without having you dictate the kind of gift you want.
Telling guests to your wedding that they shouldn’t bring boxed gifts simply goes against the spirit of gift-giving. Giving presents is done out of love and appreciation. People don’t have to feel like it’s a requirement. When you send out wedding invitations telling people the kinds of gifts they should bring, you’re making gift-giving a requirement.
Also, that’s what wedding registries do – they tell your guests the kind of gifts you want. Don’t ask for gifts on your wedding invitations.
#2: Using Pretentious and Condescending Reasons to Ask For Money
If you’re thinking of attaching a small note asking for donations because the honeymoon is going to be really expensive or the wedding rings burst your savings on wedding invitations, don’t.
The same reason why it’s impolite to ask for presents on your wedding invitations is the same reason why you shouldn’t forcefully nudge guests to make cash donations for your honeymoon.
Weddings are not fundraisers, and asking people to make money contributions makes you seem rude and self-centered. Raising all sorts of pretentious reasons as to why you need cash gifts on your wedding draws all kinds of expletives from your would-be-guests.
How to Ask For Money for Wedding Gift Tactfully
Now that you know how NOT to ask for money for your wedding gifts, time to look at how to tactfully ask for it, without getting a choice four-letter word in return.
Just remember, there’s no polite way to ask for money as a gift. More often than not, some of your guests will interpret your request as rude or tacky. The best you can hope to do is mask your request so well, that only a few people think of you as tacky or rude.
Here’s how you camouflage money requests for your wedding day gifts.
#1: Not Having a Registry
Not having a gift registry at the wedding hints that you probably have everything to start a life together. Wedding gifts, traditionally, are intended to help a young couple get started in life. That’s what makes them different from, let’s say, gifts you’d expect when hosting a☛fall baby shower.
When you imply that you don’t need gifts by not having a registry, guests are still going to want to give you something to start your new lives. That something is often money.
#2: Having a Cash Registry
Instead of scrapping off a wedding registry, having a cash registry can help nudge guests into forking over some cash. Sure, it is not the most subtle of ways, but there are ways you can make it less brazen that we’ll discuss in the next section on cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift.
#3: Telling Close Friends and Family You Prefer Money Gifts
Another way to nudge guests into giving you money for your wedding is informing immediate family and friends you prefer money over other gifts. If you’re going to put this into action, make sure you’ve scraped off a wedding registry.
When guests start asking your family what you’d want as a wedding present, there’s nothing wrong when Aunt Sally tells them you’d rather get some money than a toaster.
#4: Having a Wishing Well At Your Wedding
What do you instinctively do when you happen across a wishing well? You don’t think, “Ah, perfect opportunity to throw in this 50-inch TV.” Instead, you dig into your pockets for change to throw into the wishing well.
When you have a wishing well at your wedding, guests are hard-pressed to throw in anything else but money. Sure, you’re sort of forcing their arm, but it beats sending out wedding invitations asking for money.
And come to think of it, wishing wells are a perfect party prop, including the 6-year-old☛birthday party theme ideas you might be looking into a years after your wedding.
#5: Having a Wedding Website
Having a website for your website can help you in a lot of things, including asking for money gifts. At least asking for cash wedding gifts on a website doesn’t seem as tacky as asking for it on wedding invitations.
There are a couple of creative ways to ask for money as a wedding gift that makes you appear less tacky and cute even.
Cute Ways to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift
You should only use these eight suggestions only after you’ve implemented some of the ways listed in the “How to Ask for Money for Wedding Gift Tactfully.”
If you proceed with these cute ways of asking for money as a wedding gift methods without laying the groundwork, they’ll most likely blow up in your face.
#1: Instead of Printing “Flat Gifts Preferred” on Your Wedding Invitation, Use an Insert Card
Remember we mentioned that you should never print money requests on wedding invitations. You can, however, use an insert card. When you print “Flat gifts preferred” or “Please, no boxed gifts” on an insert in the invitation, it somehow makes the request less tacky.
Your guests won’t associate the wedding invite with a demand for money, just the same way that they won’t feel that the insert card is part of the wedding invitation. Using an insert card to ask for money does one thing – it removes the request for money wedding gifts with the wedding invitation.
If you’re going to make this method, there’s no shame in having a cash registry at your wedding. The guests already know what you want for presents, and most likely, they’ll be bringing their checkbooks with them. Make it easy for them to make cash donations by having the cash registry prominently displayed.
#2: Use an Online Cash Registry
People are looking to try out new things, and they don’t mind spending some money while doing it. That’s exactly why an online cash registry will work. Online cash registries like Honeyfund and Honeymoon Wishes rely on the fact that, much like the new iPhone, people gravitate to new technology like moths to a flame.
You even appear a bit sophisticated and cute when you ask for cash gifts through these online services. When you choose to use an online cash registry, make sure you alert your guests on your wedding website. Otherwise, very few of them will be clued in.
And while we’re on online cash registries and wedding websites, it never hurts to put a poem on your site politely nudging guests to give you cash wedding presents. A poem might seem corny and even cause a few eyes to roll (when you plaster it on wedding invitations) but trust us, when it’s on a wedding website it appears anything but corny or tacky. It even comes out cute when you get the poem right.
#3: Involve a Few Attendants in Passing on Gift Information
Involving a few close attendants in your wedding with passing information about the gift you want during your wedding is a brilliant way to ask for cash gifts at your wedding. Not only do guests feel a little at ease having other guests ask for cash gifts on your behalf, but it even charming to involve other guests at your wedding.
For this to work though you must have used family and friends to spread the word that you’d prefer cash gifts over traditional wedding gifts.
That’s just about as cute as you can get when asking for money as a wedding gift. Remember, asking for money as a gift, even if it sounds like an excellent idea of how to make☛your wife’s birthday special, takes some finesse. Don’t just ambush your guests with the request. Use our advice, and you’ll be that much closer to having a full wedding and a cash registry full of greenbacks.
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