- In this article, we discuss the 11 signs you will see when your boyfriend stops caring about your feelings and doesn’t care about the relationship anymore. We also discuss what to do when you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore.
When a man doesn’t care about your feelings and doesn’t care about the relationship anymore, it can be sad and devastating for you because you will begin to feel unloved and alone in the relationship.
Sometimes though, it is not easy to tell when your boyfriend stops caring because some of them can do it in very subtle and not so obvious ways. This is why, in this article, we show you the 11 signs he doesn’t care about your feelings or care about the relationship anymore.
11 Signs he doesn’t care about the relationship and doesn’t care about you anymore.
When your boyfriend stops caring about your relationship, most or all of these 11 signs are all the evidence you need to know that he no longer cares.
1. You’re putting in so much effort into the relationship, he’s not even trying to match your efforts and it is starting to take a toll on you emotionally.
When a man stops caring in a relationship, he kind of switches off from the relationship. He stops trying and no longer makes an effort. It would suddenly feel like you’re the only one driving the relationship. It will feel like you’re the only one interested in seeing the relationship stay alive. And that is because you are. He doesn’t care about you anymore, nor does he care about your relationship anymore.
2. Spending time with you has become a burden and pain to him and you have to beg for it.
Spending quality time with their significant other is one of the biggest signs of commitment, love, and care in a relationship. It is one of the things a good boyfriend does. However, when your boyfriend stops caring about you or the relationship, he will start to see spending quality time with you as a burden rather than a fun part of the relationship.
You will notice that you are starting to appear as a beggar for love in your relationship. You have to beg him to spend quality time at home doing fun couple activities with you, or to just go out on a date even. When you see this, it is a worrying sign that he is starting to slip away and no longer cares.
You may like this related article on Things to do in the winter with your boyfriend.
3. Romance in the relationship is almost non-existent.
Romance is very important in any relationship, and any couple who is seriously in love knows this. And at least 40% of some Americans surveyed in 2019 agree, according to this survey seen on Statista.
Importance of romance in a relationship in the United States in 2019. Source: Statista
If your boyfriend on the other hand does not want to be romantic anymore in the relationship, especially when he used to be romantic before, then it is not a good sign. It also shows that he is starting to lose interest and not care about you or the relationship.
4. Intimacy in the relationship is also on the rocks.
How are things in the bedroom? Have they fizzled out and become almost non-existent? Does he find it difficult to get intimate with you? Are you also now begging him to have sex with you and starting to feel like a sex-starved puppy?
This one is one of the biggest signs your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore. Intimacy is one of the ways we express love for each other, and withdrawing it is a weapon a partner who is starting to fall out of love uses to show their loss of interest.
5. He’s not willing to make any sacrifices anymore in the relationship.
Sacrifices Americans would make for their love, in 2019. Source: Statista
When a man loves and cares for you, he is willing to make sacrifices for you and move any mountain for you to show you he cares for you. He tends to do the opposite when he stops caring for you. Asking him to even do the littlest things for you becomes an uphill task. This is another sign that he has stopped caring.
6. He talks to you anyhow without a care in the world how his words affect or might affect you.
A boyfriend who loves you also cares about your feelings and how his words may affect you. When however he stops caring, he also stops caring about your feelings and how his words might hurt your feelings. He starts to speak crudely and unkindly to you and would not even care how it affects you. And in the worst cases, he will never apologize for it.
7. He openly flirts with other girls in your presence.
This one is downright rude and disrespectful to you as his girlfriend. It is also disrespectful of your relationship. And the painful thing is that he knows this and yet he couldn’t be bothered about it because he has stopped caring about you and has stopped caring about your feelings.
In extreme cases, he would even go as far as cheating on you with another woman and shamelessly flaunting it. Where he does this, you need to take decisive action like ending the relationship. Our article on What to say to someone who cheated on you has helpful ideas that you can work with, in such circumstances.
Survey among singles on infidelity in relationships, as of 2012. Source: Statista
8. He isn’t bothered if you flirt with other guys.
This is the flipside of him shamelessly flirting with other women. Because he doesn’t care about you anymore, whether or not you flirt with other guys will not bother him. His not caring for you anymore means he doesn’t feel the need to be protective and possessive about you anymore. Once you see your boyfriend act in this way, be in no doubt about whether or not he has stopped caring for you.
9. He doesn’t care enough about your health to take care of you when you’re ill.
This one is both sad and painful. You most likely take care of him when he is sick, and yet he cannot return the favor when you are in the same position. It can be hurtful being in this position. If your boyfriend doesn’t check on you when you are sick, this is a sad and hurtful sign he no longer cares or doesn’t care enough about you.
10. He doesn’t defend you in public anymore.
When your boyfriend loves and cares for you, he will defend you vigorously in public. He will not allow anyone to talk down or bad about you in public when he’s around. But the minute your boyfriend stops caring, he’ll not bother defending you outside. He would hear people say bad and hurtful things about you and he won’t bat an eyelid or try to stop them. He may pretend he didn’t hear them altogether or just keep silent as they continue in berating you.
11. He no longer tells you he loves you.
And not only does he do this, but when you tell him you love him, he doesn’t say it back. He may just mutter under his breath or keep quiet altogether. When you see this sign, have no doubts anymore that he no longer cares.
Check out our article on Signs your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore for more signs that your boyfriend is no longer in love with you.
What to do when you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care.
If your relationship has gotten to the point where it feels like your boyfriend doesn’t care, the best ways to tackle the problem will be:
1. Talk to him about it.
Express your concerns to him and ask him what the issue(s) might be and if everything is okay with him. Find out how he feels about the relationship and what the future of the relationship is. Tell him that this is because you feel he is no longer interested in the relationship. He may deny it and say it’s all in your head. Or he may be honest, admit it, and either ask you for a break or a break-up.
2. If he denies it and still wants to continue with the relationship, give him some time to see if he improves.
If he denies that he is not being distant and uncaring towards you, tell him you’d like to see and feel his love and attention more than he is giving off. Then watch his actions to see if there is any marked improvement from what it used to be. This will tell you whether he truly genuinely wants to change and make the relationship work.
3. If things don’t change, you may have to break it off with him.
What happens when you stay in a loveless and uncaring relationship is that your health starts to deteriorate. Not only does your physical health deteriorate, but you would also have emotional, psychological, and other forms of stress. Your self-esteem will also take a hit because you will start to wonder if it is because you are not good enough. You may start to question your worth and blame yourself for your boyfriend’s attitude.
It is simply not worth it. You are better off being single, alone, and happy than being in a relationship where your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore about you.
You can check out our helpful articles on When should you give up on a relationship and What to do after a breakup with boyfriend to provide you with more reasons why breaking up with him is the best solution for you.
Frequently asked questions.
1. My boyfriend hurts my feelings and doesn’t care. What should I do?
Take the 3 steps outlined in the last section of this article. Talk to him about it and if he still doesn’t change, love yourself and leave him. For every time he hurts your feelings, he inflicts more hurt and damage that would take longer for you to recover from.
2. How to tell if someone doesn’t care about you?
If that someone is your boyfriend, he will display the 11 signs listed in this article. For other people who are not your boyfriend and do not care about you, they would want to destroy you. To be able to tell such people, check out our helpful article on 13 signs someone wants to destroy you.
3. How to test him to see if he cares?
If you want to know if he cares, you can test him in the following ways:
Ask him to help you with something important to you and see his response or reaction.
Is he quick to want to help or he is always quick to come up with a million reasons and excuses why he can’t help you? If he’s always giving excuses, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care as much as he used to or is starting to not care at all.
Pay attention to how much time he spends with you.
Does he spend quality time with you or do you have to beg for his time and attention? A guy who cares for you will want to spend as much of his time with you, without you having to beg him to do so.
Pay attention to how he speaks to you and the tone of voice and language he adopts.
Is he brash, crude, and downright unkind? That is a guy who does not care about you. A caring boyfriend is mindful and sensitive about how he addresses his girlfriend.
Also, pay attention to how much he says he loves you.
Tell him you love him and watch to see if he says it back without thinking about it or he hesitates and begrudgingly mutters it back. If he doesn’t say it back at all, then you should be worried because that is a telling sign.
4. If a guy gets mad at you does that mean he cares?
Getting mad on its own is not a problem. It’s how he reacts and treats you when he’s mad that will tell you whether he cares about you or not. A guy who loves and cares for you will be mindful of his language and how he talks to you even if he is mad. The boyfriend on the other hand who does not care will use his annoyance as an excuse to be brash and talk unkindly to you.
5. Does my boyfriend care about me?
The only way to know is to look at his behavior and how he treats you. If he shows you any of the 11 signs listed in this article, then he does not care about you.
6. My boyfriend doesn’t check on me when I’m sick, what does it mean and what should I do?
It is very sad and unfortunate that your boyfriend does this. Sadly it means he doesn’t care about you enough or anymore. The best thing to do is to initiate the 3 steps listed in this article.
Being in a relationship where your boyfriend has shown you all the signs that he doesn’t care about you anymore will only hurt you more. It is never worth it. It’s best to walk away from the relationship and save yourself the heartache.
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