11 Questions to Ask a Friend After a Breakup

Needless to say, this question needs to be asked with a lot of care and you should probably avoid asking this too soon after the breakup.

6. Do you think you are a better person now than at the beginning of the relationship?

Relationships are supposed to make us better people such that even if they end, we come out stronger and better in the long run. This question will help your friend evaluate their just-ended relationship to find out if this general goal was achieved.

You can ask them questions related to whether they grew emotionally, professionally, mentally, or otherwise. Ask them if they learned better traits or if they now know how to be better partners.

An added advantage of this is that it falls under what to say when someone gets dumped by a not-so-great partner as it will help them move on faster when they notice that the relationship was not so great in the first place.

7. Do you think there is something your ex needs to do to help you move on?

Some people require closure from their partners to move on but might not have the courage to ask for it.

This is why when it comes to what to say to your friend when they get dumped, you should try to find out from them if there is anything they need from their ex to help their healing process.

If their answer is yes, this also allows you to discuss with them the appropriateness of asking for said thing to be done. For instance, is it something that the ex can fulfill, or is it even right to ask of the ex, and also, is the ex the type of person that can be asked to fulfill said thing?

8. Is there any way you might have contributed to the breakup

Continuing on the topic of self-appraisal and the need for self-improvement, ask your friend if there is anything they could have done better in the relationship. Ask them if they feel they had any negative traits that might have driven their partner away such as being short-tempered, clingy, distrusting, and the like.

These are excellent words to say to a friend after a breakup because it enables them to take responsibility for their actions.

It is, however, quite a sensitive question and one that requires a great deal of care in how it is asked for two main reasons. The first is that your friend might move from the realm of taking responsibility to blaming themselves for the breakup which can really set their recovery back especially if they really liked their ex. The second is that your friend might lash out at you for apparently “not being on their side.”

When asking this question, therefore, try to do it after some time has passed and angle it such that your friend sees it as you trying to prepare them for their next relationship.

9. Did you do more for the relationship or did they?

The honest truth is that there is simply no relationship that is absolutely a 50/50 contribution because human beings are different and so will contribute more in certain areas of a relationship than their partner who will then contribute more in other areas as well.

Problems arise when a partner is contributing more in more areas than their partner. This has killed many relationships and is generally frowned upon by relationship experts because it is believed that partners must pull their weight in a relationship.

Summary is if you want to know what to say to your best friend after a breakup, ask them whether they feel that they contributed more or less than their ex.

If they contributed less, there is a good chance that you will get a biased response because not a lot of people will admit that they did not pull their weight. Don’t worry about that, however, because it will give them something to think about when they are alone with their thoughts.

10. Why do you think you deserve better?

Amidst offering your friend a chance to appraise their relationship, we must not fail to offer them support.

It is important that when it comes to what to say to someone who just broke up with his girlfriend or boyfriend, you try to convince them that they shouldn’t put themselves down because they deserve good things.

When you ask them this question, be sure to have a list of reasons why your friend is so great and deserves to be with someone who will appreciate them more. This way, if they can’t give you a reason – which they probably can’t because they are still grieving – you can give them several.

11. What can we (friends) do to help you?

It is very important that as a friend, you lend your support to someone going through a breakup.

When, therefore, it comes to what to tell your friend after her (his) breakup, express your sympathy for what they are going through and offer your support and assistance to help them in any way that they might need to get over the breakup.

Friends need to know that they are supported by their friends as this will help them recover faster because it would fill (even partly) the void of companionship left by their ex.

For tips on how to help your friend move on, check out How to Show Your Ex You Don’t Care Anymore.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What do you say to a friend after a breakup?

• Tell them that you are there for them.
• Give them reasons why they deserve better
• Reassure them that is okay to feel bad
• Ask them how best they think they can move on and what you can do to help them in that respect
• Ask them out for a social outing (don’t push too much as they might not be ready)
• Remind them that they will eventually get better

2. What questions to ask after break up?

There are several questions to ask a friend after a breakup including:

• Asking them how they feel.
• Asking why they think the relationship ended.
• Asked them if they would like to get back with their ex.
• Asking them if they may have contributed to the breakup.
• Asking them what you can do to help.

3. How do I motivate my friend after a breakup?

• Listen to them talk about the relationship
• Take them out to an activity you both enjoy doing
• Invite them to your place or go to theirs and watch something that will cheer them up e.g. romantic comedies or sports
• Show them examples of people who became better after a breakup
• Remind them of their great traits and why they are such a catch.

To Conclude.

There are no set rules and guidelines for what to say to a friend who broke up with her (his) boyfriend (girlfriend) but as friends, we have to say something because this is our duty. Whatever it is we say should show support and empathy and should be aimed at building our friend back up again.