- If you’re asking yourself “why is my brother so annoying?” and want to know what to do with annoying brothers, then read on for 17 helpful insights and solutions to the problem of annoying brothers and/or brothers who just don’t know when to keep quiet.
6 Surprising Facts About Siblings. Source: WhatToExpect.com
Sibling relationships are and can be such an amazing thing. Our siblings and our relationship with them can shape the trajectory of other close relationships in our lives. But as great as sibling relationships can be, just like any close relationship, siblings can become pretty annoying to each other. They can get on each other’s nerves and become unbearable. And if this is not managed properly and on time, it can spiral out of control and become problematic not just for the siblings, but for the larger family too.
And that is why in this article, we will be showing you how to handle one of your siblings, your brother if he is in the category of annoying siblings who just don’t know when to be quiet. We will be showing you in this article,
- How to make your brother shut up;
- How to get your little brother to shut up;
- How to get your brother to leave you alone;
- How to deal with, get rid of an annoying (little) brother;
- How to deal with an annoying older brother; and
- How to stop your brother from being annoying.
We will also be answering other important questions on what to do with annoying brothers in the Frequently Asked Questions section of the article, so be sure to also read to the end of this article.
How to make your brother shut up.
It is important to state from the onset that communication between siblings is also a healthy form of building the relationship. Before deciding you want to shut your brother up, it is important to first be sure that you are not being unreasonable in wanting your brother to be quiet.
If you never talk with your brother, his always wanting to talk with you could be a way of trying to establish a relationship with you. And it is not wrong for him to want this, especially if you hardly spend time with him in conversation.
Where however you spend a reasonable amount of time with your brother in conversation and he is still overbearing and wants to monopolize all your time in talking with him, then it is understandable that you would want him to shut up for a bit and give you some breathing space.
Where the brother in question happens to be your older brother, you will need to employ some tact because of the age difference between the two of you. You can employ the following helpful strategies. Please take note that the steps in this section apply to your older brother. We will discuss how to handle the situation in the case of your little brother in the next section.
1. Let the tone and seriousness of the conversation determine when you respectfully take your leave from the conversation.
Sometimes your older brother could just be making light, informal conversation that you can be able to listen to while still doing other things at the same time. With light informal conversation, you are generally able to multitask. In such cases, there is no harm in indulging your older brother while still doing anything else you may be doing.
Unless it is absolutely impossible to do this, it is always best to let such type of lighthearted relaxing conversations carry on until they die out. And usually, they don’t take too long to die out. And a sure way to make it come to an end quicker is to not contribute so much. In this way when he is done with what he wants to say, the conversation usually ends there.
Where it is a serious conversation that would need your utmost undivided attention, if you have the time, engage him. If however he chose an inopportune time, gently and apologetically let him know that as much as you would love to have the discussion, there are other pressing things you need to sort out first and would need to take your leave.
2. But don’t always take your leave and not give him time when you continue the conversation especially if it was a serious conversation.
This is very important. When you apologetically take your leave, promise him that you will have that conversation and would come back to him to arrange for a more suitable time.
Remember that as much as you may not always want to listen to your older brother, building a relationship with him is also very important. And giving him that safe space to have conversations and talk with you on serious issues is a way to do that.
If you always rebuff him, this will create a rift or distance between the two of you. And a time would come when you also need him to be there for you in the same way. If you are not there for him in that way, you would soon realize that it works against you tomorrow when you also need him to be there for you too.
3. If you’re always busy, try to make out and set out a time when you both sit and have sibling conversations.
If it turns out that you never seem to have time when your older brother wants to talk and you’re always busy, why not then make out time for him. You can make it up to him by making it a date or hangout session. During this time, give him your full undivided attention.
When you do this as often as possible, he would not feel like you don’t care about building a relationship with him. Such gestures would tell him that as much as you may be busy or preoccupied or whatever, you still consider him an important part of your life and are willing to put in the time to build your relationship with him.
4. If you want him to shut up because he is being rude and disrespectful to you, politely tell him that you will walk away from the conversation because he is not being respectful of you.
Even if he is your older brother, you still deserve to be talked to and treated with respect. And if he is not willing to give you that, there is no reason for you to accord him any respect of sticking around to get insulted by him.
Once you have said that to him, gently get up and take your leave. How he takes it is not your problem because he lost any respect he should get from you the minute he started disrespectfully addressing you.
Check out our article on What to do when people don’t respect you for more ideas of what to do with a disrespectful brother.
How to get your little brother to shut up.
In the case of your little brother, it can be a little easier because your seniority gives you somewhat of an edge in the situation. This does not however translate to meaning that you can then disrespectfully treat your little brother just because you want him to shut up.
Remember that regardless of his age, he still deserves and needs to be talked to with respect and treated with respect.
If your little brother is overbearing and wants to spend too much time in conversation with you, you can do the following:
5. Firmly but gently let him know that it is not a good time for you to have the conversation.
Sometimes little brothers choose the most inconvenient of times to want to have a conversation with their older siblings. You don’t need to rudely brush him off. You can still firmly yet lovingly let him know that it is not a good time for you because you have a lot on your plate.
Being firm yet gentle and loving does not always mean he would be happy or smile about your refusal. But you can always make him not feel terribly hurt by promising to make it up to him with things you know he likes.
6. Find something to keep him busy with.
And if telling him that it is not a good time would not always work, you can instead find something engaging to keep him busy with. Usually, his hobbies and interests would be good places to start.
If he likes video games, you can give him a video game challenge that would keep him very busy.
If he likes to color or paint or draw, you can find a very complex drawing for him to reproduce that would keep him off your back for a considerable time.
If he likes animation or some show, you can time him and let him watch it.
It is advisable though to find more productive, mind-engaging activities to keep him busy with. In this way, he is also working on his mental development while giving you the needed space.
If your little brother is a teenager, our article on Teenage behaviour management strategies has more ideas on how to keep him busy and engaged.
7. Make it up to him by making out time for him.
Just like we pointed out earlier, sometimes your little brother will always want to talk with you because you don’t spend enough time with him. Where this is the case, try and meet him halfway and spend time with him in conversations.
You can make it a date afternoon with him by either taking him to his favorite ice cream shop or his favorite mall. Or just hanging out at home and playing video games or whatever his favorite hobbies are.
When you give him time in this way, at the times when you tell him no, he wouldn’t feel rejected and sad. He would know that even though you are busy, you still value him and make out time for him.
How to get your brother to leave you alone.
The easiest way to get your brother to leave you alone is to firmly but gently and lovingly tell him to leave you alone. Since he is your brother and not a stranger, he should know why you cannot seem to want to spend time with him. You should tell him why you want him to leave you alone:
- If it is because you are busy, lovingly let him know that it is not a good time because you are preoccupied or busy with so and so thing(s) or that you simply don’t feel like hanging out because you have a lot to deal with.
- If it is because he is doing something that you don’t like, let him know that you do not like what he is doing and would appreciate it if he can go away or stop doing it entirely. If he doesn’t budge on any of the two, walk away from him and the uncomfortable situation that he is creating.
How to deal with, get rid of an annoying (little) brother.
An annoying little brother can be a pain to deal with a lot of the time. To deal with, get rid of an annoying little brother, you can employ the following strategies:
8. Firmly let him know that his actions are irritating and annoying to you and that you would like for him to stop his annoying actions immediately.
This should be the first port of call. Immediately call him to order, firmly and gently, and let him know that his actions are irritating and annoying.
9. If he still doesn’t stop his actions, ignore him completely.
Ignoring him will usually get him to stop his annoying behavior. When you ignore him, you take the winds off his sails and this should dissuade him and get him to back off.
10. If ignoring him doesn’t work, ask him to leave if he is in your personal space.
Sometimes though, when he is just on a mission to get you all wound up, even ignoring him won’t cut it. He may just carry on being irritating and annoying. And where this happens to be the case, if he is in your personal space, it would be perfectly okay to ask him to leave your personal space.
11. If he is not in your personal space, take your leave rather than let his annoying actions get you worked up.
If however, the space is not your personal space or one that you can ask him to exit from, then consider leaving the space for him. You can use the opportunity to either take a walk or carry out a chore or something outstanding for you to do. When you do this, you ignore him and also give yourself sanity and peace of mind.
12. If his annoying actions are rude and disrespectful, you can impose some consequences that would make him reconsider acting that way in the future.
You can do this by withholding something or benefits you normally extend to him. So, for instance, if you normally take him to the movies or something. You can let him know that as punishment for unbecoming behavior, you will withhold the benefits until you’ve seen improvement in his behavior. Usually, this would work and make him petulant and change his behavior.
13. In extreme cases of inappropriate behavior get your parents involved and have them take firm, decisive, and if needed disciplinary action(s).
This is very important because you also don’t want your little brother getting out of hand. There is only so much you can do as a sibling. Ultimately some extremely inappropriate behavior would need to be addressed by your parents.
How to deal with an annoying older brother.
With an annoying older brother, given your age difference, it could be a bit more dicey and tricky. The following strategies can however help without making him feel like you’re being rude and disrespectful.
14. Firmly, respectfully and gently let him know that his actions are annoying to you and tell him in what ways they are annoying to you.
When you do this, you show him that you can stand up for yourself and would not allow him to walk all over you by being annoying or irritating.
15. Let him know that you’d appreciate it if he can respect your boundaries and not cross them and thus be an annoyance to you.
It is important to be firm about what your boundaries are concerning the areas where he’s being annoying, and how you want them to be respected. This also communicates to him that you know your self-worth and would not tolerate anyone trampling on them even if they may be family.
16. If he continues being annoying in that area, you can ignore him and not engage with him at all.
You should not have to put up with annoying and irritating behavior even if he is your older brother.
17. Walk away from any annoying conversations if you can’t stand it anymore and if ignoring him is also not working.
This would also help you not say or do anything you may end up regretting later. It would also save your older brother the embarrassment of showing that he is an irritating and annoying older brother.
How to stop your brother from being annoying.
When you take the 17 steps listed in the sections above, it will help stop your brother from being annoying. It would also strengthen your relationship and make your brother (whether older and younger), aware of your boundaries and respectful of those boundaries.
Frequently asked questions.
1. Why is my brother so annoying?
It is difficult to understand why brothers choose to be annoying. The reason why your brother is so annoying is one that only he can answer. But in general, brothers tend to be annoying for any or all of the following reasons:
- He is jealous of you for one reason or another;
- He feels neglected by you;
- He may feel that your parents give you more attention than they give him;
- He may be going through some deeply personal issues and taking it out on you since you are the one closest to him when he vents or explodes;
- He just enjoys annoying you to get a reaction out of you because it is fun for him. And this is why it is always advisable that no matter how much your brother may annoy you, don’t show him how much it gets to you. For the brother who this is his reason for being annoying, he will keep pushing your buttons if he knows it gets you worked up.
2. If you have an issue with your brother, how do you go about resolving it?
The best approach is to talk to him about the issue(s). Don’t be confrontational about it so that it does not become emotionally charged and uncontrollable. Wait to have the conversation with him when you feel more cool, calm, and collected.
Have a sit-down in a neutral and comfortable place and let him know as gently as possible that you’d like to resolve your differences. Point out your stance and give him a chance to also explain his side. It is important to dispassionately and objectively listen and actually pay attention to everything he has to say. This will help you to see things from his perspective. It will also make him feel heard.
In trying to resolve your differences, try as much as possible to find a middle ground and a fair solution that works for both of you. A fair solution is one that is arrived at after there has been an equal share of compromise and give and take between the parties involved. See that you both try to meet each other halfway.
And if all of the above fails and you are unable to resolve the issue, don’t beat yourself up. Walk away respectfully knowing that you tried your best. And perhaps keep a little distance until you feel the tension or rift is healed to an extent.
3. How to get your brother to be quiet?
Depending on his age, you can follow all of the 7 steps listed in the first two sections of this article.
4. How to make your brother go away and how to ignore your brother?
Sometimes it is not always advisable to push your brother away and ask him to go away or to always ignore him. Sometimes try to indulge him and spend time with him. If you however cannot do so, gently ask him to go away because you are unable to spend time with him for so and so reason(s).
5. How to control your brother?
It is not advisable to want to control anyone, and especially not your brother. Wanting to control a person is both manipulative and unhealthy controlling behavior. It reveals that you may have underlying issues that you need to deal with.
If you feel the need to want to control your brother, deeply introspect into your life and ask yourself why you feel the need to control your brother. And address whatever issues you are dealing with.
6. How to roast your younger brother?
Roasting your younger brother will kill his self-esteem. It is not worth it. There is no reason why you should want to destroy your younger brother’s confidence in that way.
Also, wanting to roast your younger brother is reflective of some resentment you might harbor towards your younger brother.
Ask yourself why you feel the need to want to roast your younger brother and be sure that it is not a reflection of something deeper (and perhaps darker).
7. How to shut your brother up?
Following all the 7 steps set out in the first two sections of this article will help in shutting your brother up, whether he is your older brother or younger brother.
When all is said and done, always remember!
A relationship with your brother is also important. As much as possible try to engage with your brother and build a relationship with him. And that is why the 17 strategies listed in this article are the preferred ways to deal with an annoying brother or a brother who won’t shut up. When you employ all the 17 strategies listed in this article, you still achieve the aim of stopping your brother from being annoying while still maintaining your relationship with him.
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