Signs Someone Is Competing with You
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In today’s society, you can notice that there are signs that someone is competing with you, especially that life has a lot of battlegrounds, and it can happen anywhere in school, the corporate world, and sometimes competition happens in our circle of friends where most of us showcase our achievements and in life.
When someone is competing with you. it’s like that person has built a fit of jealousy feeling inside of him/her and wants to be on top. The competition also exists in our family due to some family members who are comfortable in comparing your capabilities to other people because they think that kind of attitude can bring the best out of you. But in reality, that too much pressure they are putting can bring a huge contribution that causes you anxiety and even conflicts to you and other people especially if one of your efforts has not been recognized.
Sometimes, we feel like competition is all over the place because almost everyone you see used to live to be at the top while some people hate to witness the attainments of other people. Sadly, some of our loved ones have this kind of mentality too.
However, The competition between two related species is intense because their demands are almost similar or the same. While the competition between two unrelated species is not common in particular.
Here in this article, we will be answering the following questions:
- What are the signs that someone is competing with you?
- What are the common effects of competition with those whom you love?
- Why do some people love competing with others?
- How are you going to solve any conflicts that might happen in that situation?
10 Signs that someone is competing with you:
1. He/She is irritated with your achievements.
That person will show bitterness towards you whenever you achieve a milestone that would make you feel whole as a person. They don’t like the feeling of anyone achieving and wouldn’t like to see someone surpassing their achievements.
2. That person always gives negative feedback about your work.
Whether your output or designs are on point, they will always say that your works are ugly or never good enough. They will never see the beauty and efforts that you put into your tasks. Take note: They will say that it is constructive criticism but they always give you negative feedback and are not willing to give you feedback on the strengths that you have and also the things that you can improve on.
3. He/she is always involved in sabotaging your works.
Do you remember someone who’s always involved in destroying your projects? They do that because they know that your plans are outstanding, and they know that their ideas can’t be greater than what you did. That is why the solution for them is to destroy everything that you are great at.
4. That person gives false praise about you.
Have you heard someone making praise about you but, you know and feel that they don’t mean it? They say things that are not fit for what you’re doing like let say, for example, you ask your colleague to proofread your writing but what you received from him was all positive feedback about your work and he even praises you for doing it. But behind your back what he says when both of you are talking and asking feedback about each other’s work is different from what he says to your superiors mentioning that you’re not doing great and not putting your whole effort into your work.
5. That person always gives negative stories behind your back.
When you’re not around, that person often talks about you and says negative things about you. They can even make up some stories that are actually not true about you just to keep your image negative from other people’s perspectives about you.
6. That person is self-centered.
Even if you help that person a lot of times, they will not be willing to offer you a hand in times when you need help. For them, it should always be them gaining from other people but, they don’t want to give people who helped them hand in return.
7. That person loves to see you fail.
They don’t want to see you shine in all the things that you do. They will always find a way to break you, not to make you. Always remember that people like them won’t see you as a normal person. In fact, they see you as their enemy and would want to see you fail while succeeding in their goals.
8. They always like to outsmart you.
People like them are vain. They don’t want other people getting into their line; all they want is to be higher than you, be smarter than you, and be greater than you. They won’t listen to your opinions and suggestions because they think that your ideas are lame even if you have a strong point.
9. They like to ruin your plans.
It’s either they sabotage you or reject your helpful ideas. Example: In a workplace setup, they don’t want to see you being complimented when the higher-ups recognize your plans and ideas. They want to take all the commendations and recognitions and they see you as their competitor and not a team member.
10. That person is always taking credit for the things that you did.
When your plans and ideas work and if they know that the ideas you shared with them are good, there will be a tendency that they will own it as if the ideas came from their minds.
On the other hand, competition can cause conflict between friends and family members. This can bring a lot of problems to the community that we belong to.
That is why in this article you’ll also learn some facts that might happen in a competition. Maybe this can help you spot a warning sign that might tap into your heart to stop the competition.
You may also want to read about the 14 signs your friend doesn’t care about you.
4 BAD EFFECTS OF COMPETITIVENESS
- Competition might result in split up or cutting ties.
- Can lower the other person’s self-esteem.
This has something to do also with the recognition and, it can contribute to the effect of self-esteem.
In a workplace, most recognition and incentives are awarded only to the high performers. It has bad effects and can result in lower self-esteem because they are not being recognized. Source: ideas.baudville.com
- Both of you might get consumed with bitterness.
- The pressure might disturb your output.
We can see that there are a lot of bad effects on having competition. But, some things can help you in participating in a competition, especially if it is a healthy competition.
Here are 5 pros of having a healthy competition:
- It is exciting.
- It motivates you to perform more.
- You become more focused on your goal.
- It can help you to be more mature.
- It can develop your strategy skills in solving different kinds of problems.
Being competitive is normal, and it’s normal to feel competitive towards anyone whether, it is a friend, family member, colleague, classmate, or even with our partners. Being in a toxic competition has a lot of bad effects than having healthy competition. While being in a healthy competition has a lot of benefits, we just need to have the right mindset for us to avoid feeling jealous, distrust and being entitled. Being in a healthy competition helps you to be more creative in life and can also strengthen bonds or ties between the individuals. Joining a group of individuals can also develop leadership and could harness your skills as being a good team player.
The competition also helps us to correct the things that occur in our attitudes and mindset because in a competition, there will always be positive and negative feedback and those feedbacks can also help us to be a better people.
One of the reasons why people are also competitive is because that is one way of how they can measure themselves to see how far they can go. For some people, it could be just their desire to surpass a certain person that might be a sign that a person has a superiority complex (a belief that your accomplishments and abilities are somehow dramatically better than other people). Although in real-life competitions, there will always be a winner, and there will always be one in the team that will always show his enthusiasm and exerts most of his time and effort to win the competition because that individual wants to win the prize and in psychology that is called an extrinsic incentive. This simply means that the person’s motivation to take on a certain action was preferably getting more into external gains more than getting into internal gains. (Example: You would do or be competitive in something because you know that you will gain a reward for it.)
According to studies, It has been proven that competitiveness’ psychological trait was not related to survival, even though human’s tendency to compete could be a tendency of manifesting a natural outgrowth of the biological competition. However, promoting healthy competition can help people improve their self-esteem and increase the level of their enjoyment in life because getting rewarded is fulfilling.
So when is competitiveness a problem?
Competitiveness can be a problem if a certain person becomes hypercompetitive as research defines as “a neurotic need to win at all cost” uncontrolled competitive competition could hurt an individual themselves due to overtraining for them to succeed that they have neglected their needs in terms of physical, mental and spiritual. There are also parts that they have forgotten that their relationship with the other person is also important.
People who are also hypercompetitive also tend to compare themselves to other people or their peers, and that can develop a feeling of inadequacy. Competitive people also have someone to lose against. The constant quest to be the best may lead to perfectionism, stress, and other issues.
Guidelines to maintain Healthy Competitions:
According to studies, Humans believe that competition gets an acceptable reputation at times. But, competition is absolutely necessary for entrepreneurial organizations. To encourage healthy competition with your colleagues in your organization, you can practice these strategies and make sure that everyone will have a healthy competition:
1. Promote healthy conflicts.
This teaches us to listen and be open which is a key to a successful resolution, it opens our eyes to new ideas that will allow us to shape our perspective more, and this practices us to enhance the communication skills that could help us lead to solutions to our conflicts.
2. Reward those who perform right.
Our minds are wired to repeat what has been done when we are rewarded for that certain behavior. Not just humans but also animals when we are rewarded for doing something, we tend to repeat it over and over again.
3. Make sure, to be honest with your work.
By creating an atmosphere of honesty for yourself when working makes you have an environment that has that sense of self-accountability and responsibility.
4. Maintain your integrity.
Live your everyday life in line with your innermost values. You don’t have to adjust your values to anyone. Suppose you’re staying in a workplace that has different values than yours then, don’t let them sway yours. If you’re an honest person and someone who keeps their word. You’re more likely to be appreciated and be considered in a leadership position. Keep that in mind.
5. Find opportunities to have fun.
Find ways to have fun during a competition. Do not just focus on the rivalry of competitions but focus more on the positive side by gaining new friendships, relationships, interactions, and gaining new lessons in life.
Always keep in mind that competitiveness is neither good nor bad. You just have to enjoy every single moment of it and always treasure those people who will stay beside you even if you win or lose. We must also have to carve in our mind that we can win a competition without making other people feel bad about themselves. Winning is always not always about the victory, but it is rising every time you fall without cheating and compromising other people.
Winning is always not always about the victory but it is rising every time you fall without cheating and compromising other people.
Frequently asked questions
1. What are the signs if your colleague at work is competing with you?
Competition in a workplace setup is normal but, when it came to a point that what they’re doing affects your performance evaluation, you may also see signs indicated in this article that applies to competition at work, family, and friends.
2. I want to be acknowledged. Should I compete with my siblings?
There are 2 types of competition, One is toxic competition and, the other one is healthy competition. If you were to compete with your siblings you should choose healthy competition. For it will help you enhance your self-esteem and fulfillment in life especially if you’re doing it to be noticed and acknowledged by your parents.
3. I feel jealous of my cousin because my parents always compare me with her. What should I do?
You could explore more on testing your strengths and weaknesses, whether it is academics or sports. You can be greater in anything that your cousin isn’t great at. Compensate your weaknesses with your strengths. Do not let jealousy consume you that could cause you hatred with your cousin. Always think of the things you are good at and make the way how your parents compare you to improve the things you are not.
Always keep in mind that competitiveness is neither good nor bad. You just have to enjoy every single moment of it and always treasure those people who will stay beside you even if you win or lose. We must also have to carve in our mind that we can win a competition without making other people feel bad about themselves.
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