Signs a Woman Is Jealous of Another Woman
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
- Jealousy is a dark emotion we all feel as humans. No human being is immune from it But like any human emotion, we have control over it. A jealous woman however is one that has allowed this dark emotion free rein and control over her life. This article will help you in knowing and identifying such a woman when you see her. It discusses the 21 signs of female jealousy. It also gives you practical tools in tackling each of these female jealousy signs.
Watch the video version of this article:
A very interesting 2015 survey seen on the UC San Diego News Center (shown below) revealed some interesting facts about the 900 Americans surveyed, which is to a great extent representative of how pervasive the issue of jealousy and envy is in our society.
Who is the “enviest” of them all? (U.S, November 2015). Source: UC San Diego News Center
(Un)surprisingly, it would seem that envy (and by extension jealousy) is higher among women and then younger people below 50 years of age. It would seem though that when it came to occupational success, men surpassed women, at least from that study. Perhaps because men always associate levels of success with their manliness. But that’s the subject for another article (hopefully lol). In this article, we explore the issue of female jealousy signs (female jealousy is where a woman is jealous of another woman).
What makes a woman jealous of another woman? 6 reasons for female jealousy.
Table of Contents
It must be said that jealousy and envy are two of the darkest human emotions we all innately have as part of our human DNA. Jealousy is unchecked envy. It first starts as the envy of another and what we perceive they have which we don’t have. If that feeling of envy is not immediately nipped in the bud, it starts taking an ugly form and that ugly form is what we know as jealousy. Suddenly you can’t hide the envy you felt inside. The green monster takes a physical form and manifests itself as jealousy.
Just like the Chinese yin and yang, they (jealousy and envy), are part of the dark side of our humanness, and they can become dangerous if not checked and dealt with. If we fail to nip jealousy in the bud, it grows and becomes something that can engulf the one who has let it have free rein.
A woman who is jealous of another woman is such a person. She has allowed her envy to get the better of her, and she can’t help but manifest it in her jealousy towards the other woman. As the chart in the first section shows, (and which is true), as humans, we envy and are jealous of people because they have something we wish we had. This is especially so when what they have touches on aspects of things we feel insecure about.
Our feelings of envy and jealousy reveal very deeply and truly what it is we are insecure about in our lives and intimidated by.
In the case of a woman, it would be because of the looks and success of the other woman. So if the other woman appears better than her with any of the following things, she would start to harbor envy and then jealousy towards her:
1. If she looks more beautiful and generally more appealing according to the woman who is jealous of her.
What she fails to realize or understand is that the standard of what a beautiful and appealing woman is, is a social construct of society based on very superficial and shallow criteria. Every woman is beautiful and appealing in her way and society should not dictate how beautiful any woman should feel.
However, the woman who is jealous of the other woman because of her looks is likely struggling with deep insecurity issues and self-esteem issues from her background and/or experiences, which needs to be dealt with first if she has any chance of overcoming that feeling of (envy and) jealousy. We discuss self-esteem and female insecurities in detail in our articles on 23 Facts about what it means to have low self esteem and Signs of insecurity in a woman.
Depending on the culture and society, fairer-skinned women, women with a certain hair color (brunette versus blonde), women with a certain type of figure and shape (hourglass versus other shapes), and women with a certain build and physique (slim versus thick set) are often envied by women who are the opposite of these features.
2. If she’s more successful in her career and also very hardworking at the same time.
A woman who has these two things going for her will always attract the envy and jealousy of other women who may not be as successful or hardworking as she is. Jealous women who fall in this category are usually not driven or very motivated to work hard. And this makes them feel small and insecure.
And so when they see a woman who rises above the hurdles they refuse to rise above, they loathe and are very jealous of her. You will hear such women make comments like “she thinks she’s better than everyone else”. And yet they forget that if they can channel their energies productively and constructively, and also work hard, they can also attain the same level of success.
3. If she has her act together and her life is going great.
Imagine that this other woman is hardworking and very successful and then has it all – a great and loving partner, a very successful career, her car, and a wonderful home. Most women will definitely be jealous of such a woman because she appears like the superhero that defies all the stereotypes that women are somehow not as put together as their male counterparts.
In some cultures, even a man would be jealous of such a woman because her having it altogether may make him feel like less of a man if he does not have it all together as she does.
Our article on 9 Ways how to deal with an insecure man explains more about male insecurities. It’s a worthwhile read.
4. If she is in a visibly obvious loving relationship.
Jealous women who fall into this category are usually the single and unsatisfied women or the woman who is stuck in a loveless, unsatisfying, and unfulfilling intimate relationship. Seeing the woman who has what they wish they had triggers envy which eventually morphs into jealousy if she doesn’t stop herself from dwelling on the envious thoughts.
5. If she is wealthy or financially better off than the jealous woman.
Usually, successful career women are the victims of this strain of jealousy. Maybe she works in a company that pays her very well and gives her significant perks and/or benefits. For the jealous woman, she may not be as lucky and may be struggling a little financially. This will arouse feelings of envy and ultimately jealousy, if not dealt with.
6. For any other reason peculiar to the jealous woman.
And for some of these jealous women, they would have other reasons peculiar to them which one can never know about unless you enter their mind/head.
How does a jealous woman act? 15 Actions of a jealous woman and signs she’s secretly jealous.
If you want to know if what you see in the actions of a certain woman or women are the actions of a jealous woman, these are the signs she’s secretly jealous of you.
1. They give you a fake smile.
If you pay close attention to the smile from a jealous woman you will notice how very superficial it is. You will also notice that it is forced and pasted on her face just for the sake of keeping up appearances. If you walked away from her with your back turned to her, we can guarantee that if you “accidentally” turn back, you will find a very mean scowl in the place of where the smile was before.
A jealous person, in this case, a woman, is not happy with you for the things you have that they are jealous about. Seeing you is a constant reminder that they fall short in those areas and they hate you for it. But because it would not be socially okay or acceptable to show that kind of hate openly, they disguise it with as much of a fake smile as they can muster.
2. Their compliments are never genuine and laced with sarcasm.
A jealous woman will be damned if she gave you a genuine compliment. As an example, maybe she’s jealous of your outfit, she may say something like “that’s a nice outfit but it looks really tight. Are you sure you can breathe in it?” Or if it’s a new hair color, she may say “that’s not a bad hair color but it doesn’t really suit your complexion.”
What she hopes to achieve with her insincere compliments laced with sarcasm is to plant seeds of doubt in your mind and make you start to doubt what you have. Don’t pay attention to it. Thank her for her “compliment” and tell her you are very certain it looks amazing on you, and you feel very confident and beautiful in it. That would make her even more jealous because her plans failed.
3. They try to water down your accomplishments.
This is something else a jealous woman (or person) will do. They would also be damned if they accept that your accomplishments meritoriously came to you. What she will do is to try to find any other explanation for your accomplishment to try and show that you are not deserving of it. That is how badly their jealousy affects them.
4. They speak ill of and gossip about you behind your back.
When they fake a smile in your presence, they go behind your back and trash talk you to anyone that would care to listen. If you happen to be a fly on every wall where they congregate to speak, you can be sure you will hear them talking about you.
And you know what’s funny though, and what they don’t realize, is that they make you a celebrity the more they talk about you. All of a sudden, even people who did not know you before want to know who this person “that is so bad” is. So rather than take offense at it, enjoy the fame and stardom. Sure, they are not saying good things about you, but the more they talk about you, the more they make you appear larger than life. And not everyone enjoys that type of free publicity.
What tends to happen in such cases is that these other people who didn’t know you before and then get to know you will make their judgments. Some of them will secretly become your fans without even telling you about it. Yes, they may agree with what your jealous detractor is saying to their face, but behind their back, they can’t understand why your jealous detractor hates you so much.
5. They will visibly be absent from any event celebrating your success.
If you invited them for an occasion to celebrate your success, they will certainly not attend. They will give some flimsy excuse about why they cannot attend. And the reason why they will not be caught at such an event is because they don’t want to be around for your success to be rubbed in their face. It will be too painful for them to be around it and seeing everyone who is genuinely happy for you and celebrating with you. To save themselves that kind of heartache, they would keep themselves as far away from your success as possible.
This is one way to confirm any suspicion you may have that a woman (or someone) may be jealous of you. Once they confirm this, take note of it and avoid them. Jealous people are also destructive people.
6. They deliberately ignore you when you speak to them.
This gives them a temporary feeling of power. They ignore you to try to make you feel small and insignificant because this is exactly how they feel around your success or anything you have that makes them jealous.
When this happens, laugh out loud to their hearing and walk away. Don’t even try to engage or show them you’re interested in trying to make conversation with them. Your laughing out loud and walking away and/or ignoring them too will cut them down to size.
7. In extreme cases, they make it their mission to sabotage everything you do.
This one is common in the workplace. If you have a female coworker who has female jealousy, she will make it her mission to sabotage every step her victim takes. This could range from conspiring with other coworkers against you, tampering with information that would help you with your work, or not relaying information that is supposed to get to you, back to you.
Once you pick up on a female coworker who is this way, you have to be aggressive in your approach with them. Take proactive steps to cover your bases. Document all your interactions with them. The last thing you want is to lose your job because of someone’s jealousy, which is what will ultimately happen if you don’t take proactive steps sooner rather than later.
8. They pass rude and snide comments about you.
This is another way they want to feel powerful when it concerns you. They will find the vilest rudest things to say about you. These comments would usually be behind your back. But in very bad cases of jealousy, they will say these things to your face. That woman who gives you a sudden outburst of anger that you didn’t even understand where it came from or what it was about, is most likely jealous of you. She had before then been seething with jealousy and could not hold it anymore, and so it came gushing out in a full torrent.
Pay attention to people who have unwarranted sudden outbursts with you. You would start to notice some of these other female jealousy signs too. Your best bet is to stay as far away from them as possible. You don’t want their toxic outbursts to pollute your mind.
9. They are constantly in competition with you trying to outdo you.
For the jealous woman, the only way they can convince themselves that there is nothing special about you and what you have that makes them jealous is by competing with you. They are always in constant competition with you, and you will know or notice this because they won’t even try to hide it from you. On the contrary, they will make sure you know about it because hiding it defeats their purpose.
10. They are constantly trying to mimic and imitate/copy you in the areas where they are jealous of you.
This is the climax of jealousy. A jealous person will shamelessly imitate and/or mimic the person who they are jealous of. For the woman, maybe she’s jealous of how you dress, don’t be surprised when you see her change her wardrobe to closely mirror yours. She may make some minor adjustments but overall you can see your style in the change.
This is like talking about you and making you famous. It is indirectly flattering. Don’t get upset at it. Laugh at it and bask in it.
Take Coco Chanel’s approach when people started imitating and having fakes of her designs. She did not stop them or take out lawsuits. On the contrary, she was happy for them to continue because what they did not realize was they made her brand more famous and profitable by doing it. People who wanted originals started seeking out the originals of her product.
People only copy trendsetters. If you’re being copied, honey you are a trendsetter. Bask in that prestigious status because not everyone enjoys that status.
11. They will often brag a lot when they’re around you.
Braggarts are usually very insecure people who need validation that they are not as bad or as small as they feel. A jealous woman already feels threatened by what you have that she doesn’t have. And so, what she does is she tries to convince herself and everybody around who knows about your success, that you are not all that great.
What then happens is that when you are around her, she will always tout her accolades or their lack thereof, all in a bid to show that you are not that great or awesome and that she is also awesome.
A confident woman who isn’t jealous does not feel threatened by another woman’s success and will celebrate it with her. She won’t feel the need to brag to get validation because she is secure in what she knows she has already.
12. They will always be the first ones to see any little mistake on your part and make it a point to make sure that as many other people as possible hear about it.
This is their way of trying to tell people that you are not as awesome and accomplished as you appear. Any small mistake on your part gives them a wicked and twisted sense of satisfaction and happiness. It sounds sad and pathetic but that is exactly what jealousy and its effect on its victim are – sad and pathetic.
13. You will almost always catch a brief scowl and look of contempt in their eyes and on their face if you happen to look away and turn back to look at them.
Yup, this one is guaranteed. And sometimes, you don’t even have to turn your back. You may just bend your face away from them slightly and that mean scowl will come right on. You will sense or pick up on it if you look up suddenly. If you feel like you saw it, trust your instincts, you most likely did.
14. They are secretly happy at any demise or misfortune that befalls you and in fact look forward to hearing bad news about you.
This is another twisted sign of a jealous person. Do you notice a small smile on their face when a misfortune, however small, befalls you? Not only is this wicked, but it is also sad and pathetic. That is the length jealousy can take a person if they fail to get a grip on it sooner rather than later.
And you will know they are secretly happy about this because suddenly they want to be around you to discuss your pain and rub it in. This was the same woman who could not stand to come for a celebration of your success. But suddenly, because it is bad news, an area they are happy about, they want to be your best friends.
A “friend” who is more present in your downtimes than in your time of success, is one to be on high alert about. They are most likely a very jealous friend. If you can, keep them at arm’s length.
15. They secretly stalk you or keep tabs on you even when this is clearly not good for helping them get over their jealousy.
And they feel the need to do this because they want to know when to celebrate your misfortunes and woes. They are always hoping that the news they hear about you is bad.
And so, when all they hear is good news, it crushes them. But this does not stop them from keeping tabs because they still have the faint hope that amid all the news, they will get one or more bad news to give them a sense of satisfaction.
How to tell if someone is jealous of your looks? 3 Signs someone is jealous of your looks.
A woman’s looks is one major area where she may be a victim of jealousy by another woman. If you suspect a woman might be jealous of your looks, don’t speculate any further. Look out for any of these 3 signs.
16. She always makes it a point to talk about your weight and how much weight you appear to be gaining.
Women know that being body conscious is something that affects all women regardless of their body shape and weight. When you have the “perfect” body according to a jealous woman, what she will do is to always talk about it when she’s around you. She may say things like “wow it looks like you’ve gained a little weight. Life must be good.”
Sounds genuine right? Her first sentence shows you her jealousy. What she hopes to achieve by saying this is to plant seeds of doubt in your mind about your looks and make you even more self-conscious. She is hoping that it affects your self-esteem and lowers it ever so little because she despises your body and the confident way you rock and carry it.
And this you must not allow. Thank her for her “compliment” and tell her that “yes indeed life is great and you are very happy your body shows it.” It will disarm her and she will shut her mouth next time she wants to comment. And if she keeps repeating it, keep giving her the same answer until she gets the message. But never show her that her words mean anything to you because they shouldn’t. Remember, she wishes she had your body and looks.
17. She always has an opinion on the clothes you wear, your general appearance, and how you carry yourself.
A woman who has made herself your fashion police and jury is most likely a woman who is very jealous of your looks. Just like the comment(s) on your weight, she wants to plant seeds of doubt in your mind about your appearance and your clothes.
The next time she says a cloth you are wearing doesn’t suit you, tell her “thank you very much but I love it just fine and love how it looks on me”. If she comments on your hair or other parts of your body, make her even more jealous by telling her you know that it is your best asset(s) and that it looks fabulous. Your confidence will disarm her because it is something she despises already.
18. She always wants to talk about these two things in public where she hopes to embarrass and/or humiliate you.
You will think she will make these comments in private right? What’s the fun in that for a jealous woman who wants the whole world to know about your flaw, or so she thinks. She would say it in public to have her desired effect. And whenever that happens, also humiliate her in public with the responses we suggested above or others like it. It tells others too that you are confident in your looks and your body.
3 signs a woman is intimidated by another woman.
Female jealousy can also come about when the jealous woman feels intimidated by the woman she’s jealous of. A woman who is intimidated by another woman will show the following female jealousy signs of intimidation.
19. She is openly hostile and makes it a point to undermine the woman she is jealous of.
A woman who does any of these is one who is most likely jealous of you and what she perceives as your quiet authority. If you take note of her other actions towards you, you are almost guaranteed to find some or all of the other female jealousy signs listed in this article.
20. She will always make snide remarks in public about the competence or abilities of the woman she is jealous of.
This is another way of trying to undermine the woman that intimidates her. She is hoping to embarrass her and get other people to also look down on her.
21. She will try to incite others against her.
This is the final weapon in the arsenal of the jealous woman who is intimidated by another woman. She will actively go out of her way to create enemies for this woman and try to get people on her side against her. This normally happens in large groups and the workplace.
How to deal with a jealous woman.
Dealing with jealous people is inevitable in life because there will always be those people who refuse to control their feelings of envy and jealousy, and allow it to get the better of them. And for those types of women, this is how to deal with them (in addition to the other strategies listed with each sign).
1. Pay attention to and take note of any signs of jealousy they display.
This is important. The enemy you know is the enemy you will avoid. It is important to always pay attention to people’s body language and signs because not everyone will be happy for you. And you want to know those you should be wary of.
2. Keep your life and accomplishments as far away from them as possible.
The less they know about you, the better for you. When they know nothing, they have nothing to talk about.
3. Keep them at arm’s length and avoid them completely if this is possible.
Jealousy is a poison that destroys the person who allows it to control them. You don’t want their poison infecting and affecting your life. Don’t give them a chance to plant seeds of doubt in your armor of self-esteem. Keep them as far away from you as possible.
4. Ignore them and their jibes completely and never show them if anything they said bothered or upset you a little.
They must never be given that satisfaction. Completely ignoring them will set them off and also make them avoid you.
5. When you are in a position to help them, don’t hesitate to do so or withhold your help.
When you do this, you disarm them completely and also show them that you will not stoop down to their low and base level. Your help cements your confidence in who you are and shows who the bigger person is.
6. And always remember that you are not responsible for how people feel about you. Never play small or try to water down who you are because of a jealous person.
Never forget this. You must never feel bad or apologize for your success, good looks, or confidence. You are that way because you worked hard for it. Jealous people are small, weak-minded, and oftentimes lazy people who will much rather spend their time tearing another person down rather than work on themselves.
Don’t play small to make them comfortable because you can be sure that they will never be comfortable. Even when you play small, they will still find something about you to feel threatened about and keep talking about. Keep shining bright at who you are and if they can’t stand the light of your shine, let them go hiding.
Frequently asked questions.
- What are the signs she’s secretly jealous?
A jealous woman including the one who is secretly jealous will show you all or most of the 21 signs listed in this article.
- How does a jealous woman act?
She acts in most or all of the ways listed in the 21 signs of female jealousy discussed in this article.
- How to know if a girl is jealous of you?
Pay attention to her actions. She will display most, if not all of the 21 signs discussed in this article.
In conclusion, never forget!
You are who you are because you worked on yourself to be that way. Never let any woman’s jealousy (or that of anyone for that matter) ever make you doubt yourself or resort to being any less of the awesome person you are. They are the problem, not you.
If you see any woman show you any of the signs listed in this article, take all the steps suggested in this article towards dealing with her, and keep living your successful and confident life as you know how to. If she can’t get on with your program, let her scram away.
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