19 Great Tips on How to Be a Good Maid of Honor
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- I have been a good maid of honor fifteen times, so I am confident that I have the experience and knowledge to educate you on how to be a good maid of honor too.
- My journey to being a maid of honor began when I was still a little child at aunt Sandy's wedding. I took one look at the angelic little Bride and the beautiful maid of honor standing next to aunt Sandy; that's when I made up my mind; I was going to be an angelic little bride too, and when I grow up, I would make a great maid of honor.
- Growth came too quickly, and I never became a little bride, yet I had the chance to be a maid of honor.
I will tell you the same story grandpa told me about how it all began;
In a far, far away land called Motunba, there was a small village known for the beautiful maidens that inhabited there. Many envied the beauties of these maidens; men came from far and wide to behold their beauty, yet none ever asked for their hand in marriage. King Asi of Motunba decided to do something about this; he sent a letter to the other neighboring kings saying, “The Princess is young and beautiful, ” he said, ” Which one of you has a son bold enough to ask for her hand in marriage?.”
King Asi of Motunba waited and waited for a response from the other Kings, but none came, except one; the King of Wale agreed to have his son marry Princess Leila, and soon the treaty was signed. Princess Leila was the first maiden to intermarry in Motunba; she was to marry the Prince of Wale; the whole village prepared with excitement, a festival was held for six months, gifts were sent from far and wide, and finally, Princess Leila was sent to her new home. Months later, the King of Motunba received a letter of his daughter’s ill health. Princess Leila had been sick shortly after her marriage.
This news troubled the king so severely that he called his ministers and the palace advisors, day after day, they deliberated on how to help the beautiful Princess. She has never been sick but instead always radiates with beauty and glamor. The Queen brought up the idea; she asked that five other maidens be sent to Wale to be with the Princess.
The Queen advised that the five maidens must be friends with the Princess. It felt awkward; how can a group of Maidens stop the Princess from being sick? But the Queen insisted, and soon an entourage led a group of five maidens, friends of Princess Leila; Annabel, Tyra, Helen, Ethel, and Zara, to Wale, the home of Princess Leila. Days later, a letter arrived stating that the Princess was fine and well, and her beauty radiates even more daily. In that same letter, the people of Wale ask King Asi of Motuba for permission to marry the five maidens. Henceforth, the people of Motunba made it a culture to send along some maidens with the Bride as her maids of honor as they believe this brings great favor, not just for the brides but also for the maidens too.
Now that you know who a maid of honor is, it’s time to learn other things about maids of honor too; their duties or responsibilities; this will help you become a good maid of honor. Although the context for which a maid of honor was used in Motunba may be different from how we do it now in the modern world, there is still a remarkable similarity in both;
A Maid of honor is a friend of the Bride
A maid of honor is never a stranger; they must be people you know, love, and trust. They are the backbone of the Bride, and she must select them carefully.
A Maid of honor is Junior to the Bride
A maid of honor is a ‘maid’ to the Bride; she helps ensure that the Bride is comfortable and undisturbed or stressed during the wedding process. A maid of honor is not the Bride but an attendant to the Bride.
A maid of honor is unmarried
There are some situations where a married woman takes the place of a maid of honor; Here, she would be called matron of honor, no longer maid of honor as maid of honor is an unmarried single young woman.
Most maids of honor are the Bride’s best friend
Because the maid of honor is never passive, the Bride must carefully select someone capable of supporting her during the wedding; also read up this article on gifts for brides by maid of honor. If you wish to be a good maid of honor, ensure you are ready and willing to carry out the following responsibilities for the Bride;
BEFORE THE WEDDING
1. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BRIDE NEEDS
Here, you will need to put yourself in the Bride’s shoes; what will she need at this time? What is best for her now? If you were the Bride, how would you do this or that?. Being a maid of honor means you get to be on the top of every planning and implementation; you direct, guide, and make things happen, so you need to be someone who understands what the Bride wants and how to get it done.
2. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR PLANS THE BRIDAL SHOWER OR BACHELORETTE PARTY
Yes, that’s your job. Whatever your plans are, make sure they are what the Bride wants, which means you must communicate all goals with her on time. From contacting the Bride’s friends and family to securing the party venue, choosing the right decoration, food, and drinks, and determining the appropriate dress code; whatever your plans are, make sure they are what the Bride wants, which means you must communicate all goals with her on time.
The chart above talks about what brides want in relation to their bachelorette party according to Ultimate bridesmaid census, 2018;you can read more here.
3. AS A MAID OF HONOR, YOU SHOP WITH THE BRIDE
The Bride may need help picking out a dress, who is her go-to girl for that? The maid of honor. There is no need to ask “what are the maid of honor duties?” or “what does the maid of honor do for the Bride?”, as the responsibilities of the Maid of honor is everything the Bride wants it to be; as long as it is not against the law or the principles of the Maid of honor.
4. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR RESPONDS TO FEEDBACKS FROM INVITATION
This is part of the Maid of honor checklist; the Bride may not be there to respond to feedback questions as she is busy thinking of her wedding day. The maid of honor’s job is to respond to these questions and take note of each invite and their response; will be there, can’t make it, or maybe.
5. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR SHOULD POSSESS DIY IDEAS
This can be tricky as these ideas can be anything from tacking the wedding dress to addressing wedding invitations or fixing the food; whatever it is, the job of the maid of honor is to ensure it is set. If you can’t do-it-yourself, do well to get someone who can.
6. THE MAID OF HONOR ORGANIZE THE BRIDESMAID
The maid of honor is also the Chief bridesmaid, as some call it, it is the job of the maid of honor to allocate duties to the bridesmaids if need be. Ensure the bridesmaids are well dressed and on time, with the right makeup and accessories. It is also your job to ensure that whatever part you want them to play at the wedding; dancing, making a toast, ushering, handling wedding gifts, etc., is communicated to the Master of Ceremony and the bridesmaids themselves.
7. THE MAID OF HONOR IS CHARGED WITH HANDLING WEDDING GIFTS
The maid of honor’s job is to plan ways of receiving the wedding gifts, where the gifts will be stored, who should handle the gifts, and how the gifts will be sorted.
8. A GREAT MAID OF HONOR PLANS THE HONEYMOON
The maid of honor should ensure that the location for the honeymoon is already fixed; if it is not, it is the job of the maid of honor to plan the honeymoon; this will depend on the budget and decision of both the Bride and Groom.
9. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR HELPS TO CHOOSE THE BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES
This can come in handy; remember the bridesmaids are part of the wedding and their colorful dresses make the wedding look elegant. The maid of honor can help the bride choose the bridesmaids dress design, style and color.
DURING THE WEDDING
10. A MAID OF HONOR OFFERS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Cases abound where brides broke down on their wedding day. It is the job of the maid of honor to encourage, comfort, listen and advise the Bride.
11. A GOOD MAID OF HONOR WON’T LET THE BRIDE AND GROOM CROSS PATHS
They say it’s bad luck for the Groom to see the Bride on her wedding day before the wedding; It is your job as a chief bridesmaid or maid of honor to ensure the bad luck does not befall the Bride; keep the Bride far away from the Groom, the two must not meet before the wedding proper.
12. THE MAID OF HONOR IS THE BRIDE’S PERSONAL BODYGUARD
The maid of honor stays close to the Bride, goes wherever the Bride goes, protects and supports the Bride. The maid of honor does not leave the Bride’s side; you take orders from the Bride and pass it along to those assigned for each duty; this assignment of responsibilities should be done long before the wedding day.
13. THE MAID OF HONOR ENSURES THE BRIDE EATS
It is not uncommon to see Bride’s starving even amid plenty on their wedding day. The Bride may be carried away with excitement and activity and never remember to eat or drink. It is the job of the maid of honor to ensure this does not happen.
14. THE MAID OF HONOR IS THE BRIDE’S PERSONAL MAKEUP ARTIST
With all that is going on, the Bride may not think of how she looks or see her makeup, hair, or dress going bad; it is the job of the maid of honor to take note of this and make sure the Bride looks her best at all times.
15. THE MAID OF HONOR GIVES A TOAST
A maid of honor should know the Bride and the Groom, if possible. This makes it even easier to make an honest and heartwarming toast. This is part of the maid of honor etiquette, and she should be prepared for this before the day.
16. MOST MAID OF HONOR DANCE WITH THE BRIDE
The maid of honor should know this; dancing at the wedding are common things maids of honor do for the Bride; you should have practiced with the song of choice and be ready because it is going to happen. This is a way to ignite more fun to the wedding as that’s one of the duties of a maid of honor; make the wedding fun.
17. MAID OF HONOR HOLDS THE BOUQUET
When the Bride gets busy doing other things required of her at the wedding, it is the Job of the maid of honor to hold the Bouquet for the Bride.
18. THE MAID OF HONOR PREPARES TO CATCH THE BOUQUET
Of course many say it’s a myth, but then, many people believe that whoever catches the wedding bouquet will be the next Bride. So, as a maid of honor, if you wish to be the next Bride, by all means, try and catch the Bouquet. Remember that other ladies may want the same thing “to be the next Bride,” so you compete with both the Bridesmaids and sometimes other single ladies at the wedding.
19. MAID OF HONOR ENSURE THE WEDDING PHOTO IS UP TO DATE
This means that the maid of honor will ensure that all relatives and friends are seen in the wedding photo; this will only happen if a good list of how the images will be taken is written down before the wedding day, in that list, all relatives, friends, and guest whom the Bride wants to appear in the picture will be listed accordingly, and that list will be followed on the wedding day. This way, no one will be found missing in the wedding photo.
Have you ever been a maid of honor , or do you plan to be one? The above is my list of responsibilities of maid of honor; take it from someone who has been a maid of honor fifteen different times. This list works and will make you the best maid of honor anyone has ever seen.
FAQS
1. HOW DOES ONE BECOME A MAID OF HONOR?
You can be a maid of honor when your friends ask you to; you can also look out for friends who are planning a wedding, request to be the maid of honor, and hear their response.
2. WHO SHOULD BE MY MAID OF HONOR?
Your female friends, siblings, or relatives can be your maid of honor. Just make sure whoever you choose is someone you know, love, and trust.
3. WHAT DOES A MAID OF HONOR DO?
This article on how to be a good maid of honor will take you on a step to discuss the duties of a maid of honor.
4. WHAT SHOULD A MAID OF HONOR DO?
A maid of honor does a lot of things for the bride, from being her friend and support to helping her plan the wedding.
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