9 WAYS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH A JEALOUS STEPMOTHER
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“Stepmother sometimes can be selfish and self-centered”
This is no longer a piece of news that mother to daughter relationship bond is always strong and can’t be broken easily. A daughter can easily walk toward her stepmother to narrate whatever problem she is facing without feeling bad, but all this could come to an end if your stepmother starts acting jealous toward you.
Statistics from statista show the number of child abuse victims in the United States.
1. YOUR STEPMOM ALWAYS TRIES TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT
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Have you ever wondered why your stepmom always tries to steal the spotlight? She is always looking for a way to up her game simply by copying you. Each time you announce your plans on fashion, taking a new class, trying a new diet, or new music. She is always in competition with you and wants to be the face of the spotlight.
Your stepmother will never support your new ideas or dream because she doesn’t want to see you hit the stoplight. Her plan will always be that you fail without no reason while she is the main star of the show. You can make all these stops once you plan on doing something new or trying out an idea; try to keep it a secret from her or anyone that communicate with her. It would be best for her to see those ideas implemented on their own without her knowing about them. If she is always in competition with you, it will be hard for you to grow or implement any idea because you will be afraid of competing with your stepmother.
2. SHE ACTS UNHAPPY WHEN YOU SHARE BIG THINGS WITH HER.
Do you notice that your stepmom always acts unhappy whenever you share big things with her? Jealous is a powerful emotion that cannot be hidden, and your stepmom will always look for a way to wave off your achievements as a way to look good for herself. She might hang the call or say, “it is not a big deal, or you did not try at all,” and you will start wondering why she acted that way. It is very simple, your stepmom hates to hear the good news that involves you, and she will prefer that you fail than succeed.
Jealous stepmothers often find it difficult hard to praise their children for their accomplishments, but instead, they will try to steal away their joy all in the name of they are not happy. If you have any big announcement about your achievement, it would be best for you to keep it from your stepmother and announce it only to people who care about you, not jealous stepmom.
3. SHE TALKS BEHIND YOUR BACK.
Your stepmom will always talk behind your back because she is jealous and doesn’t want you to succeed. She understands that once people are against you, then she has the power to win over you and rub her success in your eyes. She will look for things that are not great about you and use them as weapons to fight you.
If you make a mistake at work, in a relationship, or fail a class, she will announce it at a meeting or during a family hangout. If your skin breaks or you are feeling depressed, she might call others to check what is going on with you while she mocks you using that moment. All these can be hurtful or depressing, but how can you deal with a jealous stepmother? You need to accept your weakness first and always be ready to confront her about anything she plans on talking about behind your back. She will continue to use your weakness against you until you summon the courage and talk to her about her bad behavior.
You might be scared about how to face your jealous stepmother, but no one will stand up to her on your behalf except you do it by yourself. Don’t give her the control to use your weakness against you.
4. YOUR STEPMOM HAS STARTED CHANGING HER APPEARANCE
Once you notice that your stepmother is changing her look by using new makeup or trying new fashion brand, this might be a sign of her insecurity. Most stepmothers often feel jealous that their daughters look more beautiful than them. They will always look for a way to look better than their daughter, and this can include;
- Borrowing clothes from their daughter’s closet
- Using the same makeup as their daughter
- Hanging out with their daughter friends
- Talking on the phone with younger men
Your stepmom is doing all these to show you that she is jealous on how you look and she wants to look better than you. You need to understand that she is doing all these because of her security and want you to feel bad. She will always hurt you at your weak point because she doesn’t want you to be better than her. Moreover, once she notices that you are attracted to younger guys or have more female friends. Jealously might pop into her head, thinking she can do better than you.
5. SHE’S BEEN KNOWN TO OVERREACT.
Most times, issues like stress, depression, or anxiety can trigger your stepmom to overreact. But be mindful of how she overreacts; it could because of your achievement that triggers her jealousy, or she might be moody at the moment. She might be angry or give silent treatment, and all these are impulsive reactions that can’t be controlled. Your stepmother might not even be aware that she is acting this way. She might get angry over the phone without reason or pick up an argument without reason, and you will start to wonder what is going on or why is she acting strange.
You need to study her mood very well to understand whatever is going on with your stepmother. She might not be jealous of your progress or achievement but moody when you call her. But if this attitude continues over time, she is jealous of your achievements and doesn’t want to celebrate them with you.
6. SHE’S JEALOUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAD.
Your stepmom might be jealous that you are close to your father. If you notice this is true about your step, she might exhibit some behaviors like; getting jealous whenever you are having lunch with your father. Get angry whenever you are cracking an inside joke or anything that happens to you and your father. Your stepmother’s low self-esteem can cause marital issues between her and your father because she will always want all the attention and make you the enemy of the house.
It is important for you to remember that your stepmom can’t come between you and your father. She can only get angry about your relationship with him because she is jealous. Also, don’t feel like you need to cut off your family members because your stepmom is angry.
7. SHE ISN’T PROUD OF YOUR SUCCESS.
Your stepmother might not be able to handle your success or wish you good luck on a good event. This might be because your stepmother craves your success, or she doesn’t want you to move forward in life. Stepmothers can be so annoying sometimes either because their daughter is popular, self-confident, or successful more than them. She will feel down and look for a way to bring you down during your joyous moment.
A jealous stepmom will always compare herself with her daughter, and she will use you as a measure of success to check whether she is doing great or not. If your life looks more awesome than your stepmother’s own, this can make her be more jealous and hate you for no reason. She will always feel bad whenever you achieve a milestone or do great things in life.
However, whenever your stepmom shows signs of jealousy about your success, this doesn’t mean that you have to give up your dream in order to make your stepmom happy. She needs to work on herself to achieve success like you if she wants to feel great. Your success in life in not attached to your stepmother and vice versa. You are born to achieve great things in life, don’t let anyone stop you.
8. YOUR STEPMOM ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO CRITICIZE.
Your stepmom will always bully or criticize you because that is the only way she can deal with her insecurity. If she criticizes you over your choice of partner, or career or says bad things about you in front of your family and friends, this is a sign that she is jealous. You can always try to figure out the reason why your stepmom is acting this way. You can study the way she reacts to the good news about you or how she always tells people about what you do or about your career.
Once you know what makes your stepmom jealous towards you. This will allow you to pick the type of news you want to share with her, or you can create a distance between you and her. Only you can control your life and live the best out of it, and no one can do it for you. Don’t let your stepmom make you feel bad because you are doing great things in life.
9. YOUR STEPMOM NEVER ASKS ABOUT YOUR LIFE
If your stepmom never asks about the things going on in your life, she might be jealous or a little bit busy. But she might have heard about your new job from your friend or your new date, but due to her jealousy, she won’t ask you how you are doing in life. If she acts uninterested, this is a sign that she is jealous of how well her life is going.
The moment you notice that your stepmother only cares about her life and never asks about you, this means that she doesn’t want to acknowledge you for anything. Your stepmom should always be your greatest cheerleader and not otherwise. For your mental health, you need to expand your circle and move with people who will build you up and cherish whatever is going on in your life. Your aunt or best friend are people who can be of help since your stepmom is not there to help you.
WHAT TO DO WHEN MY STEPMOTHER IS JEALOUS?
The best way to deal with or avoid a stepmom who is jealous is to accept the fact that she will never support your dreams until she let go of that feeling. You can try to avoid her knowing everything about you or look out for words or actions that trigger her jealousy. A little humility from you can help soften her heart if she is ready to let go of the jealousy. Your stepmom should be your cheerleader and not your enemy.
HOW TO BEHAVE WITH JEALOUS STEPMOTHER?
There is no way you can please a jealous stepmother. The best way to behave with a jealous stepmother is to change your circle and limit the way you announce your every move to her. Your stepmother will always look for a way to make you feel bad or even say bad things behind your back, all in the name of jealousy. You can try your best to act nice towards her to see if any changes will occur at all.
HOW TO CONFRONT JEALOUS STEPMOTHER?
She is still your mom, whether you like it or not. Little or no confrontation won’t change the fact that she is jealous of you. It would be best for you to have a mother-to-daughter discussion; this will help you to hear her opinion on why she is angry and how you can help her scale through.
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