What Not to Do in a Relationship With Your Boyfriend
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
- Many common relationship mistakes can kill a relationship faster than cheating. Most of these mistakes are made stem from a place of insecurity and self-doubt. Knowing what these insecurities are and how to get rid of them might just be the key to unlocking a long-lasting relationship where both you and your partner are happy and content with each other – flaws and all.
- The biggest relationship mistake you can make is to completely lose yourself trying to please somebody else. Remember, relationships are a two-way street – it will only work if the work and effort you are putting in are met with matching effort from your boyfriend as well. Do not lose yourself trying to make a relationship work if your boyfriend isn’t willing to try on working on himself as much as you are.
- Continue reading this article to find out what other relation mistakes you may be making.
RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES TO AVOID
There are things in a relationship that you should never do or say. These are things that have the potential to harm and hurt your loved one – and it would be very hypocritical and careless for you to indulge in them and let your partner down. These are mistakes that can occur to you individually or they can rock both people in the relationship:
THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IN A RELATIONSHIP
This is a very obvious thing that you should never do to your boyfriend. If you agree that you are in a monogamous relationship, then it is best to avoid any other men or women you might be emotionally or sexually linked or attracted to.
Lying to your partner is another thing you should not do to your boyfriend. Lying breeds insecurities and insecurities ruin relationships. Make sure you tell your boyfriend the truth all the time no matter how uncomfortable. However, you should also set healthy boundaries on what you can say and what not to say to your boyfriend.
3. INVADE PRIVACY
Do not under any circumstances invade your boyfriend’s privacy. That means no snooping around his house when he is not there, not looking through his phone when he is asleep, and no digging up dirt about him from his friends or previous lovers. What this will do when he finds out – which he will, eventually – is it will tell him that he cannot trust you and you cannot build a relationship without trust. If you have any questions about him, it is best to ask him directly and let him tell you what you need to know.
4. SAY HURTFUL WORDS
Relationships are bound to have ups and downs. When you are in an argument with your boyfriend, always remember to not say anything that you cannot take back. Don’t be mean to your boyfriend and say mean things to him or about him. It is much more productive to have a constructive argument than a screaming match about nothing.
5. MANIPULATE (GASLIGHT)
Do not manipulate your boyfriend, no matter what the circumstances. When you start manipulating your boyfriend into doing things for you – or even staying with you, just know that your relationship will be short-lived because sooner or later, your boyfriend will see right through your manipulative ways and leave. Manipulation is a form of mental abuse and it only creates a toxic relationship and toxic relationships never last.
6. BE INDIFFERENT
Being indifferent to your partner or your relationship will kill your relationship because it communicates that you do not care whether it works out or not. Nobody wants to feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship and indifference to your relationship will make your boyfriend feel alone in the relationship and he will eventually end up leaving.
HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?
Maintaining a good relationship with your boyfriend is easy when you know how to maneuver around it – and no, we are not saying walk on eggshells around your boyfriend but rather finding ways to make your relationship work for you and your boyfriend in a way that you are both comfortable with.
1. KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN
Always keep open communication in your relationship. This means that talking about everything – even the things that make you uncomfortable like your insecurities. Talking about your shortcomings (in good moderation) will show your boyfriend that you are vulnerable and also it will clear up your mind because 90% of the time, your insecurities are only big in your head and once you talk about it you see how ridiculous it was, to begin with.
2. SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
To keep a good relationship with your boyfriend, you need to spend quality time together. This can range from dinner dates, movie nights, or any other kind of date ideas that the two of you might come up with. Spending quality time together allows you to feel connected with each other and catch up with each other’s life events.
3. RESPECT EACH OTHER
If you want your relationship to last, you and your boyfriend need to have mutual respect for each other. This means respecting each other’s privacy, personal space, career choices, and emotional and physical boundaries. Understanding that your partner is a person with their own autonomy will help you understand why they need respect from you and vice versa.
4. SHOW APPRECIATION
Your boyfriend is human and likes to feel appreciated for the things he does for you from time to time. Writing him a thank you note or sending him small random gifts that let him know you appreciate him and everything that he does for you. It is the small things that make an impact on people’s lives. Check out this article on how to surprise boyfriend for no reason.
You need to have a healthy compromise in your relationship to maintain it. Remember you are not in competition with your partner and no matter what life throws at you; you are on the same team as your boyfriend. This means that sometimes you will need to compromise and meet your boyfriend halfway on certain issues. However, it is also important that you do not compromise your morals or boundaries you set to protect your mental health. Compromise does not mean ‘wear yourself thin’ – if it feels like you’re the only one making constant changes, it is not compromise – you are being taken advantage of. Compromise goes both ways and leaves both partners feeling heard and seen in the relationship.
Perhaps the most important aspect of having a better relationship with your boyfriend is to keep your independence. Have a life and identity outside of your relationship – don’t get lost in being “his girlfriend.” You should have your friends, career, events, and many other aspects of your life separate from his. This does not mean hide your life from your boyfriend, it just means keep a healthy balance between the life you share with him and the life you share with other people. When you are independent and have a life of your own outside of the relationship, you will spend less time overthinking about what can go wrong with the relationship and feeding your insecurities.
HOW CAN YOU HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?
To have a better relationship with your boyfriend you both have to realize the humanity of the other person. Oftentimes, people tend to place their significant others on a pedestal and get disappointed when their partners don’t live up to their standards. It is important to realize that your partner is human and as such (s)he will come with flaws along with every good thing they bring. Do not go looking for absolute perfection with humans because you will always end up disappointed. The key to having a better relationship with your boyfriend is to accept him as he is – flaws and all. Just as you would like to be accepted for all your imperfections.
HOW CAN YOU BUILD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?
Statistics show that people who have been together longer have a lower chance of breaking up than people who have just begun dating. For you to build a strong relationship with your boyfriend, you need to have a secure foundation – which means doing all the things that have been discussed in this article from the very early stages of your relationship and not only when the going gets rough. This way, you will ensure that your relationship is not only long-lasting but also a healthy and happy one.
Being intentional in the way you show love to your boyfriend from day one will make him decide whether the love you are giving and showing him is the love he wants – or not. A strong relationship is built on openness, communication, and trust.
TIPS FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND
1. INCLUDE YOUR BOYFRIEND IN YOUR FUTURE PLANS
When making plans about your future, make sure you include your boyfriend in them. Use “we” in phrases and sentences to show him that you are willing to have a long-lasting relationship with him and that you see him in your future.
2. STAY FAITHFUL
This is perhaps the most obvious reason for how to have a good relationship. Unless stated otherwise and you are not in a monogamous relationship, you must stay faithful to your boyfriend. The meaning of this varies from relationship to relationship so it would be a good idea to discuss with your boyfriend beforehand what would constitute as cheating for both of you.
3. SET GOALS TOGETHER
Make sure that you set goals together as a couple. This will help you grow financially, and emotionally.it will also help you attain your goals because your shared goals will have aspects of your personal goals that you are willing to share and work on with your boyfriend.
4. BE AFFECTIONATE
Being affectionate towards men has the same impact on their well-being and mental wellness as it does on women. Non-sexual touch is very essential in a relationship as it shows your partner how you feel about being close to them and having them around. Give them a firm hand squeeze, a hug, cuddle them, or just play with their hair. Physical touch is very important in a relationship.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. What mean things can you say to a guy that would make him lose interest in you?
There are quite a few mean things that you can say to your boyfriend or to a guy you like that will make him lose interest in you and at the top of those few things is the ego. If you want a guy to lose interest in you, all you have to do is attack his ego. Tell him he is not good enough for you, or that he is too (short, lanky, immature, etc.) or that he is not worthy of your time. Anything that will attack his self-esteem and in turn his ego will see to it that that man will never speak with you again. Men tend to tie their self-worth to their ego, so by attacking it, you are attacking them and by making them feel bad, they will retaliate and often this retaliation leads to them never speaking to you again. If you want to make a man stay with you and not lose interest in you, you should – among other things – refrain from saying anything negative about his ego.
2. How can I make my relationship with my boyfriend stronger?
One way of ensuring that your relationship with your boyfriend is stronger is by learning their love language(s). When you know someone’s love language(s) it is easy for you to love them in a way that will register to them that they are loved. There are five love languages and these are words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. If someone’s love language is words of affirmation, for example, then telling them you love them and affirming their position in your life will make them feel loved and appreciated which will then strengthen your relationship with them. A person can have more than one love language – as long as you know which ones they are, your relationship will be strong because you will know what to do and say to make them feel good.
3. What are some things you should never say to your boyfriend?
Here are some things you should never say to your boyfriend:
- do not tell your boyfriend about your past sexual encounters – even when asked. Men cannot handle the truth about your sexual past and there is no right answer to this.
- another thing not to say to a guy is when you are comparing him to another guy. Men are sensitive beings and even jokingly comparing them to another man can make them feel insecure and like they are not enough. They will think you are pointing out flaws in them even when you are not.
Related Article: What to say to your boyfriend to make him happy
In conclusion, there are things that you have to avoid doing in a relationship to make it work. Some of these things pertain to what you should be doing and others to what you shouldn’t be doing. In each case, these are important and they let you see a clear picture of what your relationship is and let you set healthy boundaries for yourself and respect the boundaries set by your partner.
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