15 Smart Things to Say when Someone Insults You

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Insults are a hard blow to our self-esteem and self-worth especially when we are forced to hear them regularly, which can lead to unhappiness and occasionally depression. People who insult others take a jab at the other’s insecurities which can only be magnified when someone else points them out.

In a study that focused on the demographic that is highly likely to get bullied –  teens – it was shown that the most reported form of bullying was insults/name-calling. This is often overlooked as not bullying because it does not involve any “real” damage or pose any immediate danger to the person receiving it and therefore it is the most prevalent form of bullying.

Types of Bullying Reported

There are many ways in which you can deal with insults. You can use humor and have funny things to say when someone insults you or you can rebuke the person who is insulting you and call them out on it, or you can just flat out ignore them.

This article will focus on option number 2, rebuking the person who is or has been insulting you using words.


1. Why are you masking your emotional scars with insults?

This is how to respond to an insult when you know the person who is insulting you on a personal level. This is because even if it isn’t true, people will think that it is because you know each other – the point is to humiliate them so that they can stop humiliating you and others. And who knows, it might give them something to reflect on as to why they are always insulting other people.

2. You don’t have to be this dumb when we have Google

This is one of the funny things to say when someone insults you without being original or knowing their facts. It is a way to put them down and show everyone that they are not as bright as they pretend to be at the same time.

3. I see you decided to give laxatives a break today and leak a whole lotta shit by yourself

Sometimes, it is good to respond to an insult with humor especially when the person insulting you is being a bit of a prick about it – which is almost always if we are being honest here. This will surely make people laugh at them and therefore humiliating them, instead of them humiliating you. If that’s not the greatest Uno reverse card, then we don’t know what is!

4. Unbelievable, all your personalities are annoying!

Sometimes it is hard to deal with insults especially when they are coming from family members. This is because you do not want to say anything that will compromise the relationship you have with your family (although let’s face it, if they are constantly insulting you, is that a relationship you want to conserve anyways?) This right here is how to deal with insults from family – subtle witty comebacks that are not demeaning but yet effective at the same time. This is better than straight-up telling them to go choke on a crouton or something! You are telling them you find them annoying and insufferable without telling them you find them annoying and insufferable.

5. You woke up on the wrong side of the bed again today?

If you are wondering what to say when someone insults you, this right here is a good way to tell someone off. Ask them if they woke up on the wrong side of the bed because that is the only way they can explain their bad humor and overall attitude towards you and other people around you.

6. Oh look, the village idiot made it out of the village today!

Another one of the funny things to say when someone insults you is this. This is intended to make them look like an idiot and a clown – which is how they act most of the time. It is a great way of telling someone off and also making them realize what an idiot they are, simultaneously.

7. Missing a few more brain cells today, aren’t we?

If you ever need to respond to an insult with humor, then this saying is golden! Not only does it insult the intellectual capacity of the person, but it also shows that they have been getting dumber and stupider by the day. This is such a great comeback to someone who is always insulting you and hiding that behind humor. Here are more ideas on how to make fun of someone who is making fun of you.

8. Well, if that’s your opinion

People who insult you are usually very unoriginal and uninspiring. You can say this to them sarcastically to make them feel like what they are saying matters but you know that it doesn’t and they will not be too bright to pick up on this. This is one of those inside understanding types of things where they are too dull to understand what is going on and mistake your sarcasm for genuineness.

9. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could lose some of those calories by running your mouth?

This is one of the good comebacks when someone insults you especially if they are attacking you about your physical appearance. In this case, fight fire with fire and throw back an insult that insults their looks as well. It doesn’t matter whether or not they could use to lose a few pounds, because let’s face it, we all think we could lose some even when we look perfectly fine. It is a low blow but you know what they say; when they go low, go lower.

10. Shut up, please, and thank you!

A great way to react to insults is to straight up tell the person dishing out insults to shut up. This will let them know you are uninterested in hearing anything else they have to say and that you do not appreciate their attitude towards you. If they have sense they will stop talking and maybe even avoid talking to you in the future – but then again, common sense eludes a lot of people so the best you can hope for is that you get to shut them up for a while. And that is a big win.

11. Life would have been so much easier if you came with a mute button

This is how to reply back when someone insults you and you want them to shut up, instead of telling them to shut up directly. By telling them you wish they came with a mute button, you are essentially saying that you do not care to hear what they have to say and if you could mute them, you would.

12. Okay, Captain Obvious!

This is a chill way to respond to someone that insults you when they attack something about you – an insecurity you have, for example. Let’s say this person calls you fat and ugly, instead of you letting that get to you and getting sad and hurt over it, just reply back with a strong “Okay, Captain Obvious!” this will throw them off guard because usually, people who insult you about your looks do not expect you to generally agree with them that they are right. Additionally, this throws their expectations off because you are not giving them the reaction that they expected.

13. Psychiatrists would have a field day with you!

This is one of the smart answers to insults especially when directed at people who are neurotic, erratic, and overall jackasses when insulting you. You know the kind, very vocal and loud, and like to make a spectacle out of making fun of you. The premise to this is that they have so many things wrong with them psychologically, and that is why they act the way that they do. Ergo, psychiatrists would be very happy to poke around their heads and see what is wrong with them.

14. I’m sorry you are hurt I called you an idiot, I thought you knew

Another effective way of responding to insults is to call them an idiot to their face. Most people who insult you do so under the implication that you would never tell them off or retaliate in any other way. When you call out a bully, you take away their power and you gain back yours.

15. No one likes you

Telling someone straight up that no one likes them might not be the smartest words to say to insult someone but they sting just the same. It is in our very human nature to want to be liked by people, especially our peers. Telling a bully that no one likes them will gnaw at the very core of their need to be liked – which may be the very reason why they pick on people in the first place, to gain approval from their peers. Letting them know that insulting people is not gaining them any friends is a good way to make them think about what they are doing and if it is benefiting anyone – including themselves.


1. What would you do if someone insulted you?

What you do when someone is insulting you depends on what kind of person you are and how well you handle confrontation. However, it is important to remember that respect is earned, and in order for you to earn some respect from your peers and those around you, you are going to have to stand up for yourself at some point. You should not allow people to make you the butt of their joke – use the above tips and tricks to help handle yourself around someone who insults you.

2. How do you insult someone in text?

Insulting someone in a text is relatively easy because texting is so advanced these days. You have extra items to help you get your message across such as gifs, memes, and stickers. You can search for any emotion or expression and there is absolutely a meme, gif, or sticker for it. The above tips can also work via text, just make sure that you are not the bully but rather protecting yourself from a bully. If you are going out of your way to text someone mean things, look in the mirror and you will see a bully.

3. What do you do when someone insults your friend?

When someone insults your friend and they are hurt but don’t know what to do about it, you may step up and protect your friend because they would do the same for you if the roles were reversed. If you can, always stand up for your friend and protect them. It is a noble thing to do.


This article has discussed 15 things you can say to someone when you are feeling insulted by them. There are many people who will try to make you feel small so that they can feel good about themselves – do not let them demean you for their selfish purposes. You should always fight back a bully and (re)gain control over your life. Do not listen to their negative talk about you and your insecurities. We hope that these tips can and will help you stand up for yourself next time someone tries to insult you.





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