16 Things to Talk about with Your Mom
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
My mother called me up the other day just to chat. We didn’t really have a lot to talk about so the phone call was a bit brief.
I did not like that one bit and I resolved to make more of an effort to reach out to her. I knew however, that reaching out to her and actually having things to talk about were two different things so I had to figure out what things to talk to her about before I made the effort to reach out to her more.
In this article, I shall share some of the things I found out in the hope that it helps you as well.
The topics here depend on the relationship you have with your mom as well as your age because she is more likely to open up if you are older and/ or if you both have a good relationship with each other
Ensure that the questions you ask are not the type that would make her uncomfortable based on the type of relationship you have with her.
7 Things to Talk With Your Mom about Herself.
1. Where are you from, mom?
How well do you know your mom?
If you have asked yourself this question (and even if you haven’t), her family history would be the perfect place to start because it would help explain some of her behavior. You can ask about where her family comes from in the world, what tribe she identifies with, how her family came to be, how her parents met and questions of the sort.
2. You were a child too, remember?
Your mother was once a child too you know. And just as some of your fondest memories might have been as a child, it might be the same case for her as well. If this is a topic that she is open to talking about, you might find that you get to hear some very funny stories about your mother.
Topics you can ask her about include:
- What her fondest memory was.
- Her favorite activities at that age.
- Which sibling annoyed her the most.
- How many times she got into trouble and what she did to get into trouble.
Bear in mind however, that she may not have had a happy childhood. Should that be the case, this would still be a good topic to bond over but only if she is comfortable talking about it.
3. Tell me about “those years”.
You remember how you sometimes got rebellious as a teenager because those raging hormones were telling you that you were now an adult? Yeah well, mommy dearest went through that stage as well. Wouldn’t you like to find out how that went?
Some topics you can ask about to initiate a conversation include asking her:
- What kind teenger she was – rebellious, an angel or maybe somewhere in-between.
- What her dating life was like.
- Her favorite artists and musicians at the time.
- Whether she ever took drugs (goodluck with this).
- What kind of friends she had and if she still keeps in touch.
- What she wanted to study in college.
There are many more questions centered around this theme but I think you get the gist of it.
4. What did you get up to after school mom?
Some moms became housewives after schooling and some went into the professional world to pursue various careers. You could ask your mom about why she chose either of these things.
Also, depending on your mom’s age, keep in mind that things were very different for women today than they were not too long ago and this may have affected her choices. For instance, being a working woman was not very widespread in the past as shown by this graph from the U.S. Bureau of Labor.
Topics you could ask her around this theme include:
- What motivated her to either work or become a housewife.
- If she worked, how was her experience being a woman in the workforce.
- If she is doing what she actually wanted to do.
- Her proudest moments at work or being a housewife.
- Her experience being a housewife.
- How her work is currently going if she hasn’t retired yet.
- The difference between the treatment of women in the workforce then vs. now.
If your mom is a housewife and you would like to know what to talk to her in respect to that, check out this article on the importance of being a stay-at-home mom.
5. Let’s talk about Dad.
This is right up there with the top things to talk about with your mom. I mean, it is your origin story afterall so you probably are interested in it.
This might be a relationship that she holds dear to her heart and so would not mind talking about. It could also be a story of hurt that she would like to avoid so you should be careful to find out which it is.
If it is the former, some topics to talk about include:
- How she met him.
- If they got married, how they decided to tie the knot and how those early years of marriage were.
- How the relationship evolved over the years.
- If they are still together, what the relationship is currently like.
6. Becoming mom.
My friend’s infant son locked himself in a car the other day using the car’s remote controlled key which he had in his possession. I had never seen her as stressed as she was for the half hour it took for us to get into the car.
You see, the thing is, children are stressful. They are stressful as babies and as adolescents and as teenagers and even as adults. Your mom has gone through all that stress and I am sure she would have a lot of stories to tell you about her experiences.
If you are looking for something that you can speak about for a long time, this is it. Some topics to direct the conversation include:
- Her experience as a first time mother including pregnancy troubles.
- Things you and your siblings did that almost gave her a heart attack.
- Any mistakes she made.
- Decisions you made that she did not approve of.
- How she felt when you did your firsts – first word, first time you walked, first time you used the potty.
Fears she had about raising a child – a lot of parents actually fear the effects they could have on their children at infancy as shown by this graph from ZERO to THREE.
7. Keeping up with Mommy Dearest.
Well you are most probably an adult now or at least on your way to being one. Barring the presence of smaller siblings that would require her constant attention, your mom should now have more time on her hands to be herself.
You can strike up a conversation around what she is currently into and occupies herself with. You can talk to her about:
- What she occupies herself with in her spare time.
- The activities of the social club she is in (and don’t be afraid to gossip here and there about the more annoying members of the club).
- Activities she is doing to keep fit e.g. jogging, gyming, water polo, etc.
- Her current passions and how she is engaging them e.g. going to art classes.
- Trips she would like to take and experiences she would like to have.
4 Things to Talk to Your Mom about Yourself.
You might have been a handful as an infant or you might have been an angel. Chances are that you don’t remember exactly what your childhood was like so why not talk to mummy dearest about it so she tells you how you really were.
Topics of discussion here include:
- What you were like as an infant.
- The reasons you gave her stress.
- Your interests as you grew up.
- Her fondest memory of you.
- A habit that you had that she did not like.
9. I’m a Teenager now Mom.
You probably also remember your teenage years a tad differently from how your mom remembers it. You were seeing things from your perspective and you probably clashed with her a lot. This is the time to find out her perspective of your time as a teenager.
Topics of discussion include:
- If you were rebellious, how she truly felt about it.
- How she felt about the crazy things that you would get up to.
- Whether she was worried about how you would turn out.
- How she felt about you dating and the people you dated.
10 Keeping Mother Updated.
As fun as it is to reminisce about past events, it would also be good to talk to your mom about your current life and what you are currently getting up to because this will make her feel more like she is a part of your life.
Topics of discussion here include:
- Your work life – promotions, annoying co-workers and projects to carry out.
- Your relationship with your partner – general details not the intimate ones.
- Your kids and what they are getting up to.
- Plans for the future.
11. You Are My Confidant.
Your mother has been on this earth for longer than you have and so would have experienced certain things that you would not have. It is from these experiences that she can give relevant advice that would help you through certain situations that you are going through.
You can therefore talk to your mom to seek her advice on these situations which can arise as a result of issues stemming from your relationship, your work life, your children or other serious life decisions that you need to make.
Another key area to take advice from your mother is cooking. I don’t know about you but my mother is one of the best “chefs” I know and I would be so honored if she could share some of her recipes with me. Asking your mother for recipes to cook can get her talking for a long time and if you do the cooking with her, it could be a bonding experience as well.
2 General Conversation Topics to Talk about With Your Mom.
Aside from talking about issues and stories that relate to the both of you, you can also talk about general topics including:
12. Current affairs and Pop Culture
You can talk to your mom about the state of the world at that moment and hear about her views on the many issues facing the world today.
You can recommend shows and movies for her to watch and then discuss it afterwards.
If your mom is the type, you could engage in pop culture gossip with her and talk about the lives of celebrities out there and what they are up to.
13. Fashion trends.
Your mom might need to be kept updated on the latest trends for her age or she might know and wants to discuss it. Either way, you can talk about this with her as it is a relaxing topic to talk about and one that can go on for a long time and bring you and her closer together.
3 serious topics to talk about with your mom.
Most of the things mentioned above fall under some of the more funny things to ask your mother but there are more serious things that need to be talked about as she grows older. Some of these include:
14. Estate Planning and Retirement.
Your mother will eventually have to retire and if she hasn’t seriously thought about it, you need to remind her that she needs financial security for when she can no longer work. You need to talk to her about what she needs to start doing to ensure that she can enjoy her retirement and you need to help her stick to it.
Now as much as we do not like to speak of this, there is one constant in life and that is death. You need to talk to your mom about estate planning and the need for a will should she happen to pass on because talking to a loved one about creating a will is usually the first step that people take in making a will as shown by the graph below from Caring.com. Notice however that a lot of them stopped there so you should encourage your mom to go further.
15. Future living plans
Uncertainty relating to future accommodation for when your mom might no longer be able to take care of herself is something that should be avoided at all cost. It is always best to start planning for this in advance so that when the time comes, the plans will make it easier to manage.
You therefore need to talk to your mother about where she would like to stay past a certain age. Would she like to stay in an elderly community, go back to her hometown, stay with family or simply remain in her house. Once this is decided, further conversation can be centered around making plans to ensure that the living plans are as comfortable for her as possible.
16. Healthcare Plans and Power of Attorney
Humans growing old is synonymous with the acquisition of a host of health problems. Your mother may likely face this as she grows older and it might get to a point where she is unable to take care of herself and would need you to step in.
You should have a conversation related to what you should do should such a time come. For instance, who she would like to have a power of attorney over her, what medical decisions she would like to be taken if she faces certain medical conditions and situations of the sort.
Frequently asked questions.
- What are some questions to ask your mom?
You can ask your mother questions about her childhood, her family history, her experiences growing up and her career. You can also ask for her advice on certain issues as well as questions about how you were growing up.
- What is the best thing to say to your mom?
Telling your mom that you appreciate her and the sacrifices she made to ensure your wellbeing and that you love her would be one of the best things you can tell her. There are also the little things like complimenting her appearance and her accomplishments. Other nice things you can say to your mom can be found in this article on nice things to say to your mom on mother’s day.
- What should you never ask your mom?
Topics that are quite personal that you have opposing views on can create conflicts with your mother and so should be avoided. These include topics relating to her political affiliations, her favorite child out of you and your siblings, how much money she is leaving you in her will, and telling her to leave you alone.
Remember that your mother is a real person who just happens to be older than you. She has her own hopes and dreams and has her own life which means you can talk to her about that.
As your mother, she is also quite interested in your life so feel free to talk about your life as well. Also, in asking for advice from her, remind her that she can also ask you for advice as well because she can’t possibly know everything and you are there to help.
Talking to your mom might not seem like an easy thing to do especially if you haven’t done it for a while but it doesn’t have to be. You can start small by taking her out and just having a casual conversation. You might be surprised by how easily the conversation will flow.
For suggestions on places to take your mom to, check this article on places to take your mom for her birthday.
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