That’s because cheating, by definition, is meant to be a secret. This is proven by research collected from CompareCamp which shows that many who cheat never admit it to their partners. 

So, can you know if your partner cheats on you? It’s very possible. Just because a cheating partner is trying to keep their unfaithfulness a secret doesn’t mean they’ll be successful. You’ll notice certain signs which may be subtle but are there nonetheless. For instance, they might start dressing differently or approaching intimacy in an unusual way.

We’ll be discussing some of these signs, but remember that noticing one or two of them won’t make your partner’s infidelity 100% certain. If you see several signs, however, that’s a big red flag. You might need to look into the issue further to find more compelling evidence. 

• Unusually secretive with their devices 

One way to know if your partner cheats on you or not is to check if they have suddenly become more protective with their phones and laptops. 

Peculiar behavior you should watch out for include:

• Refusing to let you use their phones. 
• Constantly monitor what you do on their phones if they allow you access.
• Keeping the screen away from you when they use it. 
• Either suddenly using a password or a new password you don’t know.
• Having their phone with them constantly, even when going to the bathroom.

These imply that there is information that they want to hide from you. It might be a surprise party, or it might be something worse.

•  Increased hostility towards you 

When a person is cheating on their partner, experts say that there is a chance of them becoming more ill-mannered and short-tempered with their partner. 

They become more judgemental of their partner’s actions and might even criticize their partner’s appearances. The logic behind this is that they are unconsciously mentioning their reasons for cheating and trying to rationalize them by looking for faults in their partner. 

Check out Signs Your Husband Is Cheating With Your Friend.

• Strange financial dealings 

Infidelity is not cheap, and this is why another entry on how to know if your partner cheats on you is to check for suspicious financial transactions. For instance, there might be transactions on bank statements and credit cards that you never noticed before and can’t account for. 

This becomes an even bigger red flag if your partner becomes defensive when you ask about these strange charges, especially when they wouldn’t react that way in the past. 

They wouldn’t want you to learn about the costs of their unfaithfulness, such as paying for hotel rooms and buying gifts for the other person.

Also, watch out for a partner that is suddenly tight-lipped about their finances when this used to be information they volunteered willingly. 

•  Accuse you of infidelity 

One crazy thing that relationship experts have found is that a cheater is likely to accuse their partner of cheating instead. 

There could be two main reasons for this. The first is that they are using classic misdirection techniques where they accuse you of a crime so that you don’t suspect them of that same crime.

The second reason is that they might be worried that you are cheating on them because if they are getting away with it, you might be too. Humans are fascinating creatures, aren’t we?

•  Increased regard for their appearance 

Is your husband cheating on you? He might be if there’s a sudden change in the amount of interest he puts into his physical aesthetics. 

People are allowed to take an interest in how they look, but they rarely do so out of the blue. Some steps and proclamations often come before the switch, so a sudden change is suspicious.

A cheating partner would pay more attention to their looks because they either want to attract someone or keep them attracted.

You should be concerned if this change is only limited to times when they aren’t with you, such as at work or social events. But when they are with you, they transform back into the everyday “nasty” partner that you know.

• Less interest in intimacy 

A cheating partner might try to avoid being intimate with their partner because they either feel guilty or are being adequately satisfied by the person they are being unfaithful with.

You’ll notice signs that your partner is avoiding being sexually intimate with you in ways such as them:

• Going to bed after you to avoid being awake in bed together. 
• Being busy whenever you want to have sex. 
• Avoiding you around the time you usually have sex.
• Trying to get the sex over and done quickly. 
• Touching you less and being less sensual. 

If these behaviors come about suddenly, it could be that they are no longer interested in you sexually or that someone else is receiving these actions instead.

• More interest in intimacy 

While some cheaters will show less intimacy to their partners, others will do the opposite. They will offer so much raw sexual passion that their partner might get exhausted.

Experts believe that one reason this happens is an explosion of sexual energy that the cheating partner gets thanks to them experiencing something new with their “side-piece.”

But it could also be because they feel guilty about cheating and are trying to make it up to their partners. Whatever the reason, if you are afraid that your partner cheats on you, watch out for a sudden increase in sexual frequency or a significant decrease in intimacy.

• You contract a sexually transmitted infection 

This is one of the strongest pieces of evidence that you can have to prove infidelity if you’ve been nothing but loyal to your partner. 

STIs, by definition, are primarily spread through sexual contact. So if you haven’t been having sex with someone else, then it’s most likely that you got it from your partner who has been doing just that.

• Surprising bedroom behavior 

If “how to know your partner cheats on you” was a college course, a professor would most likely tell you to watch out for new bedroom behavior. 

Cheating can broaden a person’s sexual knowledge and make them aware of new things they enjoy. If your partner is cheating, they might start trying out new styles on you and encouraging you to do certain things they’ve never asked for in the past.

Of course, this could result from porn or a friend’s advice, but there’s a good chance that infidelity has something to do with it.

• They are constantly unreachable 

Changes in the ease at which you can reach your partner can also signal trouble. Partners should be able to contact each other easily because communication is hugely important to relationship stability.

If you’ve never had a problem with this before, but suddenly your partner is frequently harder to reach, that’s a red flag.

In order to cheat, your partner would have to spend time with this other person. The only way to do so is by being unreachable to you sometimes. They wouldn’t want you calling only to hear strange background noises that would expose them. 

• They want to know all about your schedule 

Sudden interest in a partner’s schedule can also signify cheating. The unfaithful partner wants to be aware of their partner’s movements to adequately plan their activities with the other person.

 Watch out especially for sudden interest in your free times and when you’ll be at work.

• Their stories don’t add up 

The thing about lies is that they can usually only be defended by more lies. Eventually, those lies will conflict with each other. That’s when you’ll start noticing that their stories have some missing parts.

For instance, your partner claimed to be at an event and yet was shocked when you told them of things that happened at that event. Or maybe you called work when they said they were working late only for the guard on duty to tell you that no one was in the building.

A cheating partner is bound to slip up, and indeed, this is when many cheaters are eventually caught.

• Spending a lot on you 

Overcompensation is common in relationships where a partner is unfaithful. Experts say that this is the guilt of the cheating partner in action.

They buy expensive gifts for their partner and take them out to lovely places because they want to make up for cheating. They’ll do anything to feel less guilty about cheating except stopping the infidelity.

• Friends appear uncomfortable when you’re around 

Close friends often get wind of an adulterous relationship before the partner being cheated on because the cheating partner is more likely to confide in them. 

So to see if your partner is cheating, look in the direction of his friends. The privileged information they hold might lead to them acting nervously around you because they are worried about spilling the beans.

• They can’t stop talking about someone 

The answer to the question, “is my wife cheating on me?” can be based on the number of times she talks about someone or not talk about them at all. And this isn’t limited to just women alone.

Partners considering cheating have been known to constantly talk about a new person in their social cycle or work environment. While this isn’t troubling on its own – little crushes are allowed – it becomes a red flag when they suddenly stop talking about the person.

Experts say that there is a good chance that they no longer talk about the person as much because they are cheating with them and don’t want to arouse suspicion. 

Here’s what to do when you’re cheated on. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you tell if your partner has cheated?

• They take more interest in the way they look. 
• They become more irritable with you.
• They ask you to try something new sexually and suddenly introduce new styles to your lovemaking. 
• They begin to spend a lot of money on you. 
• They are constantly unreachable. 
• They either want to have more sex or less sex.

How do you tell if your boyfriend is lying about cheating?

When a boyfriend lies about cheating, some signs you will notice include:

• He’s defensive whenever you bring up anything that could remotely suggest that he is cheating. 
• He stutters or speaks in a higher or lower tone when explaining something you asked him or giving excuses for his absence. 
• He hesitates before giving you an answer, allowing himself to come up with a good lie.
• He deflects your questions and accuses you of cheating instead. 
• He gives you that fake smile that he thinks you don’t know about. 
• He looks very uncomfortable. 

Here’s What to Say to Someone Who Cheated on You.

What do all cheaters have in common?

• They are very protective of their devices and have passwords everywhere on their phones. 
• They are good at lying. 
• They love to deflect questions about infidelity.
• They usually cheat with someone they already know. 
• They get very jealous and worried about their partner cheating. 
• They are huge flirts. 

To conclude…

While these are solid signs that your partner is unfaithful, they could display all of them and still be loyal. They could also exhibit only one or two of these behaviors and cheat.

The critical thing to look out for is a sudden behavior change, not a gradual one. So if you notice various signs discussed in this article and they were mostly sudden, it’s very likely that you are dealing with infidelity.