13 Effects of Growing up with an Alcoholic Father

This article explores the effects that could befall (and have befallen) children who are raised in an environment where their father was an alcoholic. We discuss how this can change and affect their lives both in childhood and adulthood.

1. HIGHER RISK OF BECOMING ALCOHOLICS

Studies have shown that one of the ways in how alcoholism affects children is the increased risk of them becoming alcoholics in later years. This is because for most of them, alcoholism becomes the norm and they grow up thinking it is the only way they can cope with being neglected, or facing emotional and physical abuse from their alcoholic parents. The effects of alcohol on children surpass their childhood and well into their adulthood with most of them needing therapy to overcome the damage that their parents’ alcoholism may have impacted on them in order to avoid negative coping mechanisms.

2. DEPRESSION AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS

Some of the most common side effects of alcoholism on children are that it leads to depression and other related mental health issues such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD) just to mention a few. This is because when you live with a drunk father, as a child you begin to notice things that upset him when he is drunk and things that trigger him to violence of some form and you begin to avoid those things just so you do not upset him. This may lead the children, especially the eldest, to grow up fast and take care of everyone around them because their parent isn’t because as a ripple effect, when the father is an alcoholic, the mother usually neglects her children to take care of her husband, or she suffers the abuse along with her children but in most cases, the woman will sacrifice one of her children to deal with the abuse and become a dormant parent – thereby neglecting her children. Here are some effects of living with an alcoholic spouse.

Children of alcoholic parents are more often than not abused (physically and mentally) and neglected, all of which impedes on their emotional growth and this can have serious consequences on the children both in their youth and adult life.

3. PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

Long-term effects of alcoholism on children appear when they have been physically violated by their parent who is an alcoholic. Physical violence can scale anywhere from getting shoved around and getting slapped, to being beaten down. It is a well-known fact that alcohol makes people violent and when the person is an adult who is responsible for young children, they may end up taking out their frustration on them. The effects of an alcoholic parent on child development come into play when physical violence is inflicted upon the child because it leaves lingering effects that follow the child to adulthood that they may possibly need therapy for.

4. FEELING ABANDONED/NEGLECTED

This is a particularly tricky situation because a neglected child is a vulnerable child and most often than not it leads to the children seeking constant reassurance or approval from other people. This is dangerous because it can lead children down dangerous paths such as seeking male/adult approval thereby falling victim to pedophiles and other sexual predators because they are being promised love and affection, which they do not receive from their own father in their homes.

5. INCREASED CONFLICT

There is a hot-headed dynamic between the sons of alcoholic fathers and their alcoholic fathers especially when the sons are older, usually starting in their teen years. This is a result of frustration from the child and loss of control from the father. As the child grows up in an environment that he dislikes and does not approve of, he eventually gets frustrated and is no longer willing to put up with his father and enable him to neglect and/or abuse those around him. On the other hand, the father feels that he is losing his power and control over his family or to his son and this will create a very tense conflict home environment.

6. FINANCIAL ISSUES

Children of an alcoholic father’s often grow up lacking when it comes to financial stability. This is because their father would rather buy himself alcohol than financially take care of his family. This may present itself as the children not having enough to eat, not having presentable clothes, etc. Financial issues also arise when the father is being emotionally and financially abusive to his wife – he may be taking away his wife’s money and using it to buy alcohol, or he may even convince his wife to quit her job and be a stay at home mom so he can be the sole provider of the family – and when he fails to do so, blames it on her.

7. TRUST ISSUES

Growing up with an abusive alcoholic father can lead to the children having trust issues in their life which makes it harder for them to make friends, or have meaningful long-term relationships. This is because most alcoholics will promise that they will change, and they do for a while, but without seeking proper help, this never lasts and they go back to binge drinking and abusing their families. This creates a sense of false hope in the children at first but as it happens more frequently, the children start seeing a pattern and soon they will stop believing their father when he says he will stop drinking and become a better father. This registers in their brain as “people cannot change” or “people will always let you down” and therefore they go through life believing that everyone is lying to them and they will sooner or later disappoint them, just like their father did.

8. ROLE REVERSAL

Kids with alcoholic parents are often forced to grow up too soon, either to take care of themselves or to take care of their alcoholic parent or even the parent who isn’t an alcoholic but has suffered abuse from the alcoholic parent. This leads to children taking on the parental role at a very young age; washing after themselves and their parents, making sure everyone is fed, and the house is clean, and other such duties. This may seem harmless at first glance but looking at it deeper, the child is robbed off their childhood and this can have serious repercussions in the future when they will most likely go through a midlife crisis where they will act and do things that they couldn’t do when they were young.

The role-reversal is also dangerous to a child’s growth because it isolates them from their peers because while people their age are having fun and experiencing life, they are stuck at home taking care of everyone which alienates them from people their own age, and this can lead to social anxiety amongst other things.