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17 Things to Send Your Enemies in the Mail

WhatToGetMy Instructional Article

  • Sending people prank mail has never been easier, thanks to the internet. There are now websites that are dedicated to making your enemies’ days hard and maybe just a little annoying by sending them little “gifts” that no one wants to receive.
  • If you are looking to exact revenge on a person you don’t like, this article will lead you to some of the best websites that will allow you to send “prank mail” anonymously so it is never traced back to you.

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The United States Postal System is the longest standing mailing system in the U.S. It has over 400,000 employees and ships to 67 countries worldwide.

Even in today’s world, with other shipping companies to compete with, the United States Postal Service still ranks highly among Americans. According to the ACSI  retail and consumer shipping report, 72% of Americans were satisfied with the services provided by the US Postal Service.

American customer satisfaction index scores for consumer shipping companies in the United States from 2017 to 2020​ | Source: www.statista.com

American customer satisfaction index scores for consumer shipping companies in the United States from 2017 to 2020

There have been some weird things that people in the United States have managed to send in the mail as “hate mail” or “prank mail.” These things, although disgusting, are still legal to send especially when being used as a prank.

If you have anyone that has wronged you in the past who refuses to take responsibility for being horrible to you, the internet has made it really easy for you to send them “prank mail” anonymously.

FREE THINGS TO SEND YOUR ENEMIES IN THE MAIL

1. EGGPLANTS

Courtesy of the infamous eggplant emoji, this is the equivalent of sending dicks in the mail, but censored. The only difference is that you can write messages on the eggplants. Depending on what your enemy did to you, you can give them a piece of your mind on an eggplant. Classic! You can get the eggplants sent anonymously through eggplantmail.com

2. SAND

This is an annoying gift you can send to your enemy. Ruindays.com offers services that allow you to send sand anonymously to your enemies. Just imagine their surprise and utter annoyance when they open their package and get sand all over their house. For only $19.99 it is well worth it! The best money you will ever spend on someone you do not like.

3. A BRICK

This is the closest you can get to throwing a brick at your enemy. For only $15 funkydelivery.com can send a brick to your enemy anonymously. Of course, if you want to add a message on your brick, that can be arranged.

WEIRD THINGS TO SEND IN THE MAIL

4. MAYONNAISE

Nothing will ruin someone’s day more than getting a goopy handful of mayonnaise in the mail. Truly a diabolical plan fitting for your nemesis.

5. POOP

If you are wondering if it is illegal to send poop in the mail, the answer will shock you! Because of a few technicalities, sending poop in the mail is not illegal and you can send poop in the mail as long as it is done for prank or gag purposes. This means that you can legally mail poop to your enemies’ house under the guise of a prank. Ipoopyou.com lets you send poop to someone’s house for a fee ranging from $15-$25. They ship poop to your enemies with a misleading description. It should be noted, however, that it is not human poop that they send but rather animal poop – popular among them being dog and cow poop.

6. GLITTER

Shipyourenemiesglitter.com lets you mail glitter to your enemy for only $9.99. The glitter bomb comes with a nice little note that tells your enemy exactly why they are getting glitter bombed. And for an extra 88 cents, you get to double the glitter in the bomb.

GIFTS FOR YOUR ENEMIES

7. DEAD FISH

Nothing really says you hate someone like a dead fish in the mail. At thepayback.com they will let you send your enemy dead fish in the mail with a side of flowers to go for good balance. This is a perfect gift if you are passive-aggressive.

8. DICKS

Sending your enemies dick in the mail is probably the most common anonymous gift for enemies sent yearly. Websites such as dicksbymail.com, and shipabagofdicks.com all let you ship dick piles to your enemies in either their homes or at their place of work.

SENDING JUNK MAIL TO ENEMIES

9. THE MIDDLE FINGER

One finger, a thousand sentiments! Give your enemies the middle finger for only $5 from funkydelivery.com who will send them a picture of the middle finger in the mail. And for an additional 99 cents, you can add the text “F**K YOU” to the image – in case the message doesn’t quite hit home with the picture alone.

10. CRABS

This is definitely the weirdest thing you can send in the mail that we have included in our list. You can send your enemies crabs in the mail – and no we are not talking about the sea animal, we are talking about the STD – yes, you read that right! Crabrevenge.com offers to send your enemies “pubic lice” for $187 – you really must hate someone to want to give them crabs and lose $187 while doing so!

11. NON STOP MUSIC CARD

This is a gift you send to your enemies if you are trying to annoy them for a short amount of time. This card, once opened, does not stop playing music until the battery dies – which on average lasts up to 5 hours! You can get this card at ruindays.com for $10 – they also allow you to choose the song to include in the card so kudos to you if you know your enemy’s least favorite song.

12. CANDLES

This is perhaps the most creative item on this list. These deceptive candles come with deceptive labels such as vanilla when the candle smells like chicken poop or some other unpleasant smell. Your enemy will never suspect the true motive of the candle until it is too late. Just think about it – you may actually effectively ruin their bath time and let’s face it once that is done, the rest of the day pretty much goes sideways. You can get these candles at prankcandles.com for $11.95.

13. ANONYMOUS LETTER

If you are looking to send anonymous revenge by mail you may use thepayback.com for only $12. Sure, you can create a troll account on social media or even a fake email and spam your enemy with revenge mail but that could easily be traced back to you, so why risk it?

14. VENUS FLY TRAP

Plants are usually great gifts for a housewarming – except this terrifying plant closes up whenever touched or if a fly lands inside its mouth-like shaped leaf. It also attracts moths and insects because it feeds on them, so this is a great way of slowly infesting your enemies’ house with insects. You can get this plant sent to your enemies by buying it for them on Amazon and have it shipped straight to their house.

PRANK GIFTS FOR YOUR FRIENDS

15. FAKE MONEY

In good fun, send your friend fake money in the mail – just let them know afterward that it is fake money before they try to use it and get reprimanded for it. You can legally purchase fake money from propmoviemoney.com for only $25 real dollars.

16. BACON

Thank heavens we are actually referring to bacon, the food. From shipyourenemiesglitter.com, you get options to ship bacon, too! If your friend is having a bad day you can send them a package of bacon. This one is not necessarily a prank, but still, it is weird that you can send bacon over through the post office.

17. NOTHING

This is a classic shipping prank. Ship your friend a box of nothing and let them know that you have sent them a parcel. Get them excited and anticipating the “gift.” They will surely be disappointed when the parcel arrives and it is a box full of … nothing? This is a great prank for friends who are constantly pranking each other. Read our other article on good pranks for more inspiration for your next pranks.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

  • What are the weirdest things people have sent in the mail?

There are many weird things that people have sent in the mail but perhaps the weirdest of them all is children. Yes, you read that right – children. Multiple! In 1913, most Americans discovered that it was cheaper to send their children by mail than it was buying them their own train tickets. People would legally ship their children to other states and the practice was banned only when a child was shipped to the wrong address!

Another weird thing that has been sent in the mail and been recorded is a molar tooth. Scientists in 2000 decided to test what they could successfully send in the mail – and one of the things that they sent was a human tooth which managed to reach its destination 2 weeks later – with a notice saying “human remains were not allowed to be sent through the mail.”

  • Is sending a glitter bomb illegal?

No, sending glitter in the mail is not illegal. However, the intent is what might be illegal. If you are sending glitter bombs to your enemies, make sure it cannot be traced back to you because they may sue you for harassment. This is why we recommend using any of the sites mentioned above because they are anonymous and won’t trace back to you.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, sending your enemies weird and disgusting things in the mail is best done anonymously so it cannot be traced back to you. Although most of the things you can send in the mail aren’t illegal, your enemy might sue you for harassment so it is best and safe that you use channels that can not be traced back to you.

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