When you think of your daughter and her spouse, do you remember them being at peace more than they fought? If your answer is no, your daughter is in a bad marriage. Research by Johns, Flaherty & Collins confirms this by listing constant arguments as a top reason for divorce.

A couple that is constantly fighting is one that not only suffers from poor communication but has other underlying issues that are not being dealt with. For your daughter’s mental health, it might be best that she leaves the union.

Other ways to know the marriage is over can be found at How To Know When To Leave A Marriage. 

8 Tips for saving your daughter from a bad marriage 

• Find out the objective truth 

As we alluded to earlier, your daughter’s truth might not be the complete truth. To properly help her, you must be sure of the objective truth.

Suppose you suspect your daughter is in a bad marriage. In that case, the first thing to do is to try to find out the whole picture before trying to find out how to solve your daughter’s marriage problems. 

You can talk to your other children, your daughter’s friends and neighbors, and anyone else you feel might shed more light on the situation. Whoever you decide to talk to, however, make sure they can be trusted to keep your inquiries discreet.

•  Report to the authorities 

In cases of abuse and domestic violence, you shouldn’t worry about how to talk with your daughter about her marriage; just report to the relevant authorities.

If you worry that your daughter has been so manipulated that she sides with her abusive spouse, you can make the report anonymously. 

Also, try to compile as much evidence as possible to support your claims and get your daughter help as quickly as possible.

• Talk to her 

If you’re still on speaking terms with your daughter, try to talk to her to find out her opinions on her marriage. This would help you chart the best way forward. For instance, if she shares your worries, getting her out of that marriage would be easier.

In a situation where your daughter has been so manipulated that she doesn’t see anything wrong with how she’s being treated, you may have to seek the service of an expert to find out the best approach.

Whatever the case, it is essential that you practice empathic listening when talking to your daughter. This ensures that you better understand your daughter’s situation while helping her feel comfortable enough to express her true feelings.

• Support her decisions 

There’s a chance that your daughter is being manipulated, and depending on how intense this is, she may not see her marriage as bad. 

To break this spell, you will need to lend her your support to gain her trust. As she turns to you more, it’ll give you the chance to show her the toxicity of her marriage.

And if she fully understands how bad her marriage is, your daughter will need your support as she decides how best to proceed. 

• Suggest a marriage therapist 

If your daughter is open to it, there are a lot of benefits to be gained from speaking to a professional on marriage issues.

The insight given by the therapist might prove invaluable in helping your daughter decide between staying and working on things or leaving the marriage as quickly as possible.

If your daughter is worried about being seen going for marriage therapy without her husband, you can recommend online counseling. The flexibility that this route offers will allow her to attend sessions when he isn’t around.

When recommending a therapist, don’t pick one close to the family or yourself. This improves the chances that the therapist would be objective.

• Avoid criticizing her spouse 

One major thing to remember when trying to help your daughter leave her marriage is to steer clear of criticizing her husband. It could backfire and damage your relationship with your daughter. 

The husband might, for instance, paint you as someone who wants the marriage to end because you don’t like him. Your daughter might fall for this and decide that you’re the enemy.

So instead, focus on your daughter and how she doesn’t seem like herself lately. Be kind and caring in your tone to show her that your concerns are from a good place.

• Talk to a marriage counselor 

Marriage counselors and therapists do not limit their advice to married couples alone. They can offer you advice on how to help your daughter with her marriage. 

The advantage of such an approach is that you will get customized advice based on the specific characteristics of your daughter’s marriage.

Don’t forget, online therapy is an option and a cheaper one at that. 

• Speak to a divorce lawyer 

If your daughter finally decides to leave the marriage, you must be prepared for what comes next. This is where divorce lawyers come in.

Their vast knowledge of the laws regarding divorce will broaden your horizon on your daughter’s options after the marriage ends. For instance, the assets she can get, how the children will be affected, and other things that can put your daughter in a better position before divorce proceedings are initiated.

Such knowledge is vital because it makes the transition easier for your daughter and allows her to take charge of the marriage dissolution process.

For more insight, check out How to Get Your Daughter Away From a Controlling Boyfriend.

Frequently Asked Questions 

How can I save my daughter’s marriage?

• Convince her to speak to a marriage therapist.
• Be available to support her whenever she needs to talk. 
• Listen to her without interruptions or simply practice empathic listening. 
• Don’t impose your opinion, but offer advice based on what you would do.

 How do you save a doomed marriage?

• First, decide if the marriage is worth saving. 
• Sign up for marriage counseling. 
• Set up regular dates centered around your interests. For instance, a sports event if your spouse is into sports.
• Verbally appreciate your spouse more. 
• Come up with rules to govern arguments and disagreements. This helps to keep “fights” cordial and fair. 

Check out How To Get Your Marriage Back On Track. 

How can we fix and save a broken marriage?

• Think and reflect on why your marriage became broken in the first place, and then work on your results.
• Appreciate your spouse and their efforts more. 
• Talk to each other about finding ways to reconnect and save your marriage. 
• Consider going to marriage therapy to learn professional tips on saving your marriage.
• Make the decision to love your partner through the difficult times and follow through on it.
• Be willing to compromise in certain areas to reduce conflict. 

In conclusion…

Trying to end a marriage is a big deal; you shouldn’t think about it unless things are really bad. You need to be prepared for the possibility that after you help your daughter out of the marriage, she might resent you. This is common with people who have been manipulated. Still, it won’t last forever because they’ll eventually see that they are better off without the manipulator.

At the end of the day, remember that leaving the marriage is your daughter’s decision alone. You can’t force your opinions on her as she is an adult. If she refuses to end the marriage despite your best efforts, it might be best to leave her be. However, all bets are off if it is a case of domestic violence.