How to Get a Male Coworker to Like You
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
- Before embarking on wanting to get a guy at work to like you, or flirt at work, be certain that there are no policies in your company against romantic relationships between coworkers.
- Where your company has no issues with it, assess the pros and cons of mixing business with pleasure before taking the plunge.
- Where you take the plunge take the tips listed in this article to get that hunky male coworker to fall in love with you.
- While not all office romance ends up in marriage, yours may be one of the 55% that ends up in a happily ever after.
“Oh.my.gosh.!” “He’s so hot, I think I’m in love!” Does this sound like you? Maybe this guy is a new guy at work and you’re just noticing him for the first time. Or he could just be a male coworker you’ve been interested in and had a crush in since forever (when you started working in your organization). Your only problem though is that it seems he either can’t notice you despite your spirited efforts, or he’s just not getting all the signals that you’ve been giving him about the fact that you fancy him and are open to taking things further. And you are asking yourself what or how you can show this guy at work that you like him. And how you can get him to fall in love with you. This article will show you how to get a male coworker to like you. Let’s dive in.
OFFICE ROMANCE – THE STATS.
Let’s look at the stats a little before we dive in. This is worth considering, to give you some form of comfort that your liking that handsome and dashing male coworker you work with, isn’t out of order or out of the ordinary. In fact, office romance seems to have become a regular feature in the American employment scene with 59% males and 54% of females engaged in the same in 2018. Of course, it does have its downs, but the fact remains that it is now a regular occurrence in workplaces, with some (31% in 2011 and 55% in 2018) ending in marriages. According to a 2011 survey, the hotel industry topped the list of the top 5 industries where office romances were prevalent.
Persons who have been involved romantically with a coworker in the past United States (2018)
How common is office romance in the United States (2011)
How common is office romance in the United States (2018)
Top five industries for office romance in the United States (2011)
So fret not, you are in good company when it comes to finding your male colleague attractive enough to want to date him. But should you though? Before we give you tips, here are important things you need to think about and consider first before going ahead with the tips we will give you in this article.
ARE YOU SURE? FIRST THINGS FIRST – THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE GOING AHEAD
While it is perfectly normal for you to fancy your male coworker, you need to consider the following factors, and also cons before deciding if you want to take the plunge and make your interests known:
1. Your company/organization’s policy on office relationships:
35% of employees in 2018 said they were not sure their company had an anti-fraternization policy.
Does your company have a policy regarding office romances (U.S. 2018)
Not a very encouraging number given that should such a policy exist and you violate the same, you could potentially find yourself out of a job, and then it suddenly isn’t worth it anymore. You therefore must be sure that your company does not have a policy that explicitly bans all forms of office romantic relationships.
In the wake of the #Metoo# movement, most companies immediately revamped their policies on fraternization in the workplace. You, therefore, need to be sure that there are no such policies, or where they exist, what their exact terms are, and what it requires of you.
2. Be sure that the male coworker in question is not higher than you in the work hierarchy.
Almost all companies forbid romantic relationships between supervisors and their subordinates. And this was all the more heightened in the aftermath of the #Metoo# movement. And the reason for this is very simple – it would definitely dampen staff morale of the rest of the members of staff as they would feel that the subordinate gets more favorable treatment because of the relationship.
And in such relationships, the thin line between sexual harassment and consensual romance becomes all the more blurred, with the potential to expose the company to legal liability if for any reason the relationship goes south and the lady wants to take revenge by alleging sexual harassment. Companies are therefore understandably very wary of these particular types of romantic relationships in their workplace.
It also tends to alienate the said subordinate from their fellow coworkers because the said coworkers would view them with suspicion and mistrust, believing that they pursued the relationship to advance their career. 43% of Americans found it completely unacceptable for superiors to have a romantic relationship with subordinates.
Which of the following office romance do you consider unacceptable (U.S. 2018)
All in all, it’s never good for you and your work career to date your superior. So be sure that the male coworker in question isn’t your boss or superior. Where he is, then you have to revert to number 1 point above which is, being sure that your company policy does not prohibit it. Should your company policy prohibit it in absolute terms, then you need to evaluate whether you are ready to lose your job over the intending relationship.
3. Consider the cons (and pros) of such a relationship and whether it is really worth it.
Without dampening your enthusiasm, we must point out that there are more cons than pros with such a relationship. Mixing business with pleasure is never advisable. The only pro is being in love and all the feel-good results that come with it. But here are important cons for you to seriously consider before setting “Operation Get Mr. X” into motion:
- You may become the subject matter of the office gossip mill.
Worse still, you could be accused and painted as trying to use sex to get ahead in your career at work. This would particularly happen if the guy in question is higher above you in the organizational hierarchy. You will need to ask yourself whether that is a reputation you want to live with for the rest of your career life. Depending on the sector/industry you work, this reputation may end up proving detrimental to your securing employment with other companies in the future should you leave your current workplace. And you also need to be sure that this is not what your interest is and that you are genuinely interested in the guy in question.
- Closely related to the above is the tension it is most likely to cause with you and other coworkers.
This would especially be the case if the guy in question is your superior. Are you ready to be pitted against your other coworkers because of an attraction? Is it really worth it? You will need to consider this.
- Consider how it could affect your work and continued working relationship if things don’t work out.
The relationship will definitely change the work dynamics between both of you. And most often when things go awry in the relationship, it has a negative spill-on effect on the working relationship and in most cases creates acrimony and animosity. This has a tendency to create a negative environment in the workplace between the two partners, which often affects the rest of the coworkers especially if they now have to pick sides between the two.
- There is a very thin line between romance and sexual harassment in the workplace and this could create problems if not properly handled.
There is always the possibility, though small, that in some of these relationships sexual harassment could take place. You need to be on guard and be sure to take appropriate steps should this happen.
SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO GO AHEAD.
If after you have considered all the above, you decide you want to bite the bullet and go ahead and give it a shot, consider that the following must be at the back of your mind as you take that step in dating a male colleague:
1. There must be boundaries early on in the relationship.
Boundaries such as not having any public displays of affection at the office. You will need to respect the sanctity of the office enough to keep your hands to yourselves until you leave the office. Another important boundary would be keeping your work-life outside your love life and keeping work discussions strictly to the office.
2. You have to know in advance what should happen should you both break up while still working.
Think this through, and when he eventually falls in love with you, have that discussion with him.
3. Whether to tell your other colleagues about the relationship.
Knowing the personality of your other coworkers, would it be a good idea to let them know about this relationship when it eventually ensues and how do you intend to keep it under wraps if you decide to go with secrecy.
With the above important preliminary points taken care of, here are 9 cool tips on how to get a male coworker to like you.
HOW TO GET A MALE COWORKER TO LIKE YOU.
These strategies will let him know that you are interested in him, and have him fall in love with you.
1. Be sure he is available.
This may seem obvious but it actually isn’t. Sometimes you could get so carried away with the euphoria of the moment that you forget to even carry out this important background check. And unless you fall into the category of the 19% (according to a 2018 survey) that don’t mind having an affair with your male coworker who is with a significant other, it is important that you ensure that he is first available.
Have you ever (U.S. 2018)
The same survey also showed that it didn’t end very well for the parties involved. It isn’t worth it.
Did you affair with a colleague (U.S 2018)
So before expending your energies in applying the strategies that follow, be sure that he is available. You can either ask him directly in casual office conversations or ask other colleagues. You have to be careful with the latter though because some colleagues tend to get suspicious with such questions and may start peddling rumors even before you’ve done anything.
2. Subtly and strategically infiltrate his space.
This will bring you within close proximity to the gentleman in question. This is a sure way to get a guy to notice you at work. But this has to be done subtly and strategically so that it does not come across as creepy and unflattering. You can start by taking note of the department he works in and whether his department and yours are close together or work on projects together. Where there are office meetings or functions, subtly find ways to be in the same proximity zone as he is. Bringing yourself close enough to him would guarantee the success of the next steps.
3. Strategic, subtle, and effective friendliness and flirting.
Once you are within his reach/sight, engage by being friendly and flashing your best disarming and genuine smile. A genuine smile is known to work wonders, and especially with dudes. Once you have his attention with your smile, compliment him.
The compliment should come naturally though and not come off as fake or trying too hard. It should flow naturally with your conversion. Say for instance he’s wearing a light mustard-colored shirt, you could say something along the lines of “Mustard has never been a color I fancied but you wear it so well I think I may have misjudged the color.” Or something along those lines, but you get the idea. Your flirting and compliments should not be too much and strike the perfect balance of being natural and yet loaded.
4. Look for ways to ask him to help you with a work project that “you are having difficulties with”.
That way you get the chance to work closely with him and have him notice you within closer quarters. It is a known fact that colleagues who work together on a project often end up being romantically involved because by working together they get to learn more about each other, and often get attracted to each other in that way.
Once you have him to yourself in the said assignment ensure that you pay close attention and follow on with all the lessons he gives you in trying to help you with the “difficult task”. Guys love smart women and by paying rapt attention and showing him you understand, you pique his interest in you. You can take it a step further by telling him you want to demonstrate what he’s shown you to be sure you understood, and then melt his heart with your impeccable and excellent reproduction of what he’s taught you.
5. Suggest hanging out after work once you’re both done with the assignment.
Suggest fun after-work hangout by either grabbing drinks at your favorite club or going out for a winding down evening Friday night with happy hour at a favorite club. A 2011 and 2018 survey has been consistent in the finding that such social settings are often the quickest trigger points for the start of such romantic office relationships.
Social settings that acted as catalysts for office romance (U.S. 2011)
How did your office romance begin (U.S. 2018)
And this is not surprising. In such settings, you both let your hair down and he gets to see a side of you that he may not see at the office due to all the office formal strictures.
6. Surprise him with a small thoughtful gesture or a gift.
A small gesture like getting him a cup of coffee (or tea) on your way to work first thing Monday morning, could go a long way in telling him that you thought of him.
When it comes to gifts, it need not be big or huge. It could be as little as a non-food gift. Something that tells him you thought of him or are thinking of him. Where you decide to go for a gift though, the trick should be to find an excuse to give him the gift such as a birthday, and not just bring a gift out of the blue. This is so that it doesn’t look suspicious and weird, especially given that you’re still trying to get him to notice you and take an interest. Small gestures like buying him coffee on your way to the office, is advisable as a first step.
When you have his attention, you can try the gifts. If you’re not sure if guys like getting gifts, you can check out our article on whether guys like getting gifts. Once you’re decided on giving gifts, our following articles can give you good ideas and inspiration – male gifts under $1000; luxury gifts for a man who has everything; gifts for a man who wants nothing.
If you’re not sure how he’d react to the gift and worry that it may be awkward, you can try sending it to him as a secret admirer. You should be around him though when he opens the gift to gauge his reaction to the gift – whether he likes it, is amused by it, or repulsed by it. This would guide you next on how to approach him.
7. Always look smart and gorgeous. Dazzle with your appearance
Obviously you would have to ensure that you wear appropriate work clothes. But whatever work-appropriate clothes you wear, wear it so well that he would be forced to notice you. Your hair and fragrance should also grab his attention. And be sure to pass his section of the office in your drop-dead gorgeous look. There’s no point in going the extra mile if he won’t be there to see it. This does not at all mean that if there is no guy that you fancy in the office then you should take your appearance for granted. Having a prim and proper appearance is a definite essential in the corporate world.
And when you for after-work get-togethers and hangouts where he is, be sure to look extra dazzling and show a different sexier looking you outside the office. He would be sure to notice the difference because work attire doesn’t always allow for looking too sexy.
8. If he still doesn’t get the hint after you’ve done all the above, you may need to take the bulls by the horn and declare your interests in him.
It could be that the reason he hasn’t taken the hint is that he’s either too preoccupied with work to pay attention to the above signs; or he’s also skeptical of reading meaning into it because he’s not sure if you like him; or he’s just not interested in you in the same way; or he may like you but isn’t interested in an office romantic relationship.
Whichever it may be, you’ll only know for sure which one it is by speaking with him about it and asking him how he feels about you. Make your intentions clear to him and find out from him if he’s also interested in what you’re interested in. If he’s also attracted to you that is when he will let you know, and if he isn’t you’ll know then.
You should however find a suitable time and place after work to have the discussion so that you don’t take up your office time and also distract both of you from work with such a conversation.
Also, you should be prepared for anything, and especially the worst, should you decide to take this step. The worst here would be his saying that he isn’t attracted to you or that while he may be attracted to you, he is not interested in pursuing an office romance. You need to be prepared beforehand for this response so that it doesn’t get down your work morale or affect your continued work relationship with the male colleague in question. So embark on this step fully prepared mentally, psychologically, and otherwise for whatever the outcome might be.
9. The other side of number 8 above could be that he is giving you mixed signals. Also, talk with him if that is the case.
Maybe he flirts back, even touches you ever so slightly, and yet hasn’t made a move or said anything about the chemistry building between the both of you. This can sure drive you crazy wondering exactly where you stand with him. But it doesn’t need to be that way. Again sit down with him and have a heart to heart conversation about what it is exactly he wants from you. Just as with the point about being prepared in number 7 above, you also need to be prepared mentally and psychologically for what his response might be, especially for the not so favorable response.
HAPPILY (N)EVER AFTER?
If the conversation goes south and he doesn’t feel the same way, don’t let it affect your work or bring down your morale. Get up, dust yourself and face your work with your usual zeal; another hunky dude will come along.
If the conversation however goes great and you both agree to give it a go, hurray. We are happy that you could find love at work, and who knows you may just be part of 55% that get to have a happily ever after from it. And don’t forget the precautions we pointed out above for you to put in place for such a relationship, remembering the cons that are inherent in such a relationship that are listed above.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS.
1. How to get a guy to notice you at work?
The quickest way to get a guy to notice you at work is to subtly infiltrate his space at work by following the tip(s) above and then following the tips outlined once he notices you. This will keep him noticing you.
2. I have a crush on a guy at work, how do I flirt at work with a guy and show a guy you like him at work or let a male coworker know you are interested?
Flirting with him has to be subtle and strategic. This article also points out how to subtly and strategically flirt with him and doing so will definitely give him a hint that you like him and are interested in him. If he still doesn’t get the hint, follow through with tip number 8 highlighted above.
3. How to attract a guy at work and get a guy at work to like you?
Following all of the above 9 tips will attract the guy at work and get him to like you. But if he’s not available or simply not interested in the relationship, move on and don’t force it. Also remember to think through the factors listed in the first sections of this article before embarking on the operation to get him to like you.
4. I like someone at work who happens to be the new guy at work. Is it advisable to tell a coworker you like him?
Since this guy is the new guy at work, you may need to tread very cautiously. You don’t want to scare him away or make him feel uncomfortable, having just arrived. It is not advisable to let him know right away. Let him settle in at work first before telling him you like him.
In fact, you can help him settle in at work, as a way of getting closer to him. Helping newbies settle in at work is allowed, and in fact, encouraged as a good team playing skill. By helping him settle him, you get closer to him and make him comfortable and who knows from there the chemistry could just bud naturally that you may not need to tell him and things just naturally work themselves out.
Remember though to follow through the earlier checklist of questions to answer before embarking on an office romantic relationship, especially concerning the company’s policy on such relationships.
5. How to make a colleague fall in love with you?
Getting a colleague to fall in love with you isn’t guaranteed because it depends on him ultimately and how he feels about you. But following any of the 9 steps we have highlighted above can get you started on the path. And who knows you may just have him fall head over heels in love with you.
6. What are the signs he’s interested in you if you work together?
There are no hard and fast rules about signs that show that a male coworker is interested in you if you work together. This is especially so because given the work environment and the fact that you have to work closely together it may be hard to tell.
But the following signs could signal an interest in you beyond the normal platonic office relationship –
- he flirts back with you;
- he finds an excuse to always be around you;
- he touches you slightly every now and then or always looks for an excuse to initiate body contact;
- he smiles more often than usual at you and surprisingly laughs at all your “jokes” including the ones your other colleagues don’t think is that funny;
- He buys you gift(s) sometimes for no reason;
- he’s always willing to go out of his way to help you even when he doesn’t need to; and
- he always wants to hang out with you.
If you see any or all of these signs with that male coworker you work together with, these are signs he may be interested in you. And if he still hasn’t said anything and the mixed-signal(s) bothers you a little, follow step 9 above and have a conversation with him about it.
Office romantic relationships are a regular feature in the American corporate world. They however have more downsides to them, and this is why some companies ban them outrightly. It is therefore important that you consider all the factors listed in the first sections of this article before embarking on the mission to get a male coworker to like you. Importantly, be sure that your company’s policy does not prohibit such a relationship.
While making him fall in love with you is never a guarantee, following the 9 tips listed above would sure make him notice you and hopefully fall in love with you. And who knows, you may just have your happily ever after from that relationship. But if however, he is not interested after you follow these steps, do not let it get you down. Let it be business as usual for you and in no time, your prince charming will come around the corner.
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