How to Know if You’re Ready to Get Married - 19 Signs You Should Get Married
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
It is perfectly normal to worry about how to know if you’re ready to get married because people are different which means they get married for different reasons as shown by research by Pew Research Center. Some get married for pragmatic reasons and others for emotional reasons. Whatever the case may be, you need to look closely at your relationship to see if those values are being met.
The truth is, many things go into sustaining a marriage, such as sacrifice, compromise, and a lot of commitment. This is why you cannot base your decision to marry someone on just one or two things; several boxes need to be ticked so that divorce doesn’t come knocking on your door at the earliest opportunity.
Perhaps the most important box to tick is that both of you are on the same page about things you both hold dearest and that if you aren’t, you are willing to set that preference aside for your prospective spouse. This is the essence of marriage because when this is the case, everything else can fall in place.
Here are some signs you’re ready for marriage to help you along with some of those things.
Check out Benefits of Marriage for Men and Women.
1. You want to commit
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Marriage requires you to commit to someone for the long run. It requires that you put in an effort to love, cherish, support, exercise patience, and take care of someone else. It requires switching your mindset from “you” to “we.” You know you are ready to be a wife or husband when you have thought about all these and are willing to do them regardless because you are prepared to commit.
2. You don’t want significant changes in your partner
An important answer to the question, “how do you know who to marry?” is that you aren’t seeking major changes to who they are. Minor changes such as getting them to wash the dishes more are okay but wanting your partner to change their character means that you are not fundamentally fine with who they are. This can hurt your marriage moving forward because it would be a source of conflict.
3. You’ve accepted reality
If you are going to get married, you need to accept the reality of marriage. You need to understand that while marriage can give you the most intense joy in life, it will also come with very challenging times because your partner isn’t perfect, and neither are you. If you’ve accepted this reality, you are more ready for marriage because it means that you will be willing to fight through those tough times and come out stronger.
4. You can take care of yourself
Marriage requires that you rely on your spouse for certain things, such as your emotional and financial needs. Therefore, it is important that before you go into marriage, you are somewhat able to take care of yourself in those areas. If you aren’t, it could lead to resentment and conflict in the marriage later as one party feels they are being burdened with too much.
Plainly speaking, if you aren’t at least somewhat able to take care of yourself and don’t have a plan to, you are most likely not ready to get married.
Check out How to Start Caring About Yourself.
5. You have compatible views on marriage
One answer to that question that keeps repeating in your mind of, “how do you know if you should get married?” is simply compatibility. You and your partner must agree on certain marital values to allow for a smoother marriage. Some things you need to agree on include number of kids, parenting roles, handling finances, and religion.
6. You are comfortable in your skin
Experts have said that it is impossible for a person to truly love another unless they love themselves first truly. A person who tries to love another without loving themselves will use the other person to fill up a void in their lives. This will then lead to codependency, which is not sustainable and is quite unhealthy in the long run.
If you are getting serious about getting married, you need to make sure that you love yourself to adequately love and cherish your partner in marriage.
7. You have a life outside the relationship
Your partner is meant to be your support system, which is fine, but they cannot be your only support system. This can overburden them and again lead to codependency. You need to have your friends outside the marriage and activities that you can indulge in from time to time. Basically speaking, you need an external support system. So, if you’re thinking about marriage, make sure there are others you can turn to that aren’t your partner.
8. You can easily communicate
There is no specific answer to the question, “when should you marry someone?” but if you can easily communicate with them, that is a gigantic plus sign. Humans are social creatures; we feel the need to talk to people to stay sane. If you are going to be married to someone, you simply must be able to talk to them about anything and everything ranging from your dreams and aspirations, to what’s bothering you about the marriage and how it can be fixed.
Check out Signs of Bad Communication in a Relationship.
9. Your friends and family suggest it
Like it or not, those closest to you will always have a say in the question, “when and who will I marry?” When we are with someone, we can get blinded by feelings and overlook things that we only recognize in hindsight. This is where friends and family come in; as independent observers, they have the advantage of being capable of unbiased thought. So if you find that these your nearest and dearest believe that you should get married to someone, they are probably right.
10. You are no longer searching
When you go into a shop and find that ice cream brand you have been searching for, do you keep looking for others, or simply pay for that one and be on your way? You do the latter because you have seen what you want and that’s that.
The same applies to marriage; if you find that you are no longer searching for another person – subconsciously or not – then it’s time to get married because clearly, you have found what you are looking for.
11. You don’t miss your exes
Along with no longer looking for someone else, you also need to have closed the chapter on all your exes. For a lot of people, exes represent unfinished business because, let’s face it, if you fell for them once, you can fall for them again. If you can truly say that you don’t miss your past, I mean exes, you are right to be thinking about marriage.
12. You deal with conflict healthily
“How to know when you’re ready for marriage?” You deal with conflict healthily and respectfully. You both understand that as humans, you are different and will eventually clash now and then. In spite of this, you talk about the issues facing you, you don’t insult each other, you don’t yell in a toxic manner, and you don’t threaten to leave the relationship. If you have such a relationship with your partner, we think you already know the answer to “how to know if you’re ready to get married?”
13. You take an interest in each other’s lives
Evidently speaking, there are several signs of getting married soon, and another one is simply that you are interested in each other’s lives. You, for instance, know their hobbies, and sometimes engage in them, have at least a basic knowledge of what they do, know their dreams and support them as best you can. The very fact that you are this interested in another human is a sign that you don’t mind being with them long-term.
14. You are comfortable around each other
Picture this – you just received good news, and the first person you call to celebrate is your partner. Picture something else – you don’t walk on eggshells around your partner and are free to talk about whatever you want to them.
If those two scenarios describe your current relationship, then there is a high probability that this is the right time to get married. You simply cannot place a price on being comfortable around your partner, let alone a spouse, If you are comfortable around them, your probability of having a successful marriage goes through the roof.
15. You both know your love languages
Getting married signs include knowing each other’s love languages. Experts say that when you know your partner’s preferences and how they like to be loved, you are pretty far along in the journey of knowing when to get married because a stronger bond will be built when you act on these love languages.
16. You have survived hard times together
A captain on the high seas who has survived a storm is more trusted to get through a storm than one who has not. Marriage will throw several storms at you and you need to be able to weather them. If you have survived some storms during the relationship stage, you stand a better chance of surviving the storms of marriage thanks to your experience.
When it comes to how to know when you should get married therefore, plan it for after you have survived some hard times together.
17. You trust your partner
An essential answer to the question, “how to know you want to marry someone?” is that you trust them. Trust is important in just about any relationship making it twice as important in marriage. You need to be able to trust that your partner has your back, that you can count on them, and that you don’t have to worry about what they are doing when you aren’t with them.
18. Your partner is open to marriage
When you look at your partner and ask yourself, “will we get married?” chances are, they are asking themselves the same. But because humans are telepathic – at least I’m not – you need to talk about this to see if you are on the same page. If you find out that they are open to it during this talk, that’s the green light you need.
19. You know your reason for getting married
Marriage is a pretty big step and one that you shouldn’t just rush into. You need to consider the merits of marriage vs. the cost and consider your reasons for wanting to go into it because this brings certainty, and certainty is the enemy of our enemy, doubt. So when you ask yourself, “are you ready for marriage?” knowing why you want to get married will guide you towards your answer.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I know if I’m ready to get married?
- You can communicate easily with your partner.
- You are willing to commit.
- You deal with conflict in a healthy manner.
- You don’t want significant changes in your partner.
- You can take care of yourself.
- You are comfortable in your own skin.
- Your friends and family suggest it.
2. What is the right age to get married?
The best age to get married, according to several experts, is between the ages of 28 and 32. Research seems to corroborate this assertion because people who have gotten married around those ages see the least divorce rates.
3. Is 23 a good age to get married?
If at 23 you tick all the boxes above, getting married at 23 is entirely possible. Biologically speaking, however, the brain only fully matures when you turn 27, so getting married after this age is recommended as you are better able to think about the long-term consequences of decisions.
All in all
Figuring out the answer to how to know if you’re ready to get married doesn’t have to be difficult if both you and your partner tick all the boxes above. You just need to remember that you will need to commit to working hard in your marriage and if you feel your partner is worth it, then go for it.
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