15 Ways Husbands Destroy Their Marriage
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
There are some ways husbands destroy their marriages that seem to be common amongst a vast majority of men and according to experts, the reason for this is that they feel they have already attained the price (wife) and so do not need to work as hard anymore.
This is a terrible and illogical stance to take because marriage is merely the first step. As we said, marriage is a partnership and much like a business partnership, the announcement of the partnership is only the first step in creating a successful and lasting business venture.
Work needs to be put in by both husband and wife to ensure that the partnership grows and blossoms and leads to the fulfillment of both spouses because marriage is meant to be a permanent partnership that empowers both spouses to be the best that they can.
Husbands therefore should do what needs to be done when they get married. They should not behave as though they do not need to put in the effort because the truth is, marriage is not as hard to get out of as 50 or so years ago.
If a wife feels as though her husband is not putting in enough effort, she is allowed to leave and leave she will because that is what happens when a partner is not working hard enough to secure the partnership (marriage).
It is therefore important to spot the ways husbands destroy their marriage so that corrective action can be taken to save the marriage. To help you with that, we have compiled some of the things husbands do to destroy marriage so that you can act on them if you find yourself or your husband failing in any of them.
Check out our related article on the characteristics of a selfish husband.
1. Not giving wife enough attention
One of the most common things that husbands do to destroy their marriage is not giving their wives enough attention which is why we hear many wives saying, “my husband never has time for me” or “my husband doesn’t spend time with me”.
These same husbands who don’t spend time with their wives would still be found jumping at any instance their friends or family call on them yet find it difficult to extend the same courtesy to their wives.
This can slowly kill a marriage because a woman who feels ignored by her husband might feel isolated and unimportant to the point where she begins to lose her self-esteem until she decides that enough is enough and decides to seek greener pastures.
Make time for your wife so that she can enjoy her husband and be able to stand tall when other women complain that their husbands are never home or that their husbands never want to do family things.
Here are some activities for spouses at home.
2. Not paying attention to wife’s insecurities
We all have things that we are insecure about and in a marriage, it is the responsibility of one’s spouse to make them feel better about these insecurities.
There, however, seem to be a large number of husbands who ignore their wives and their insecurities especially in regards to other women. For instance, when a wife is insecure about her looks, common sense dictates that her husband should avoid stealing glances at other women who might be “prettier” than his wife so that she doesn’t feel inadequate but some husbands simply do not get this.
Other husbands might even know their wife’s insecurities but decide not to take it seriously and even pass it off as jokes and this can be particularly hurtful to their wives.
3. Not opening up or communicating enough
Another way that husbands ignore their wives is by not opening up about what they are going through.
This is especially true when they are going through a stressful period because there is a general tendency for men to keep things bottled up until they fix whatever issue is affecting them.
This is not fair on wives because spouses are meant to share their burdens and when the husband doesn’t do so, the wife might feel as though her husband doesn’t value her enough to share things with her.
There is also the chance that the husband would snap at the wife more because of the stress they are keeping inside which can be very confusing to the wife as she would be at a loss for what she did that could be drawing such negative emotions to her from her husband.
Here are other reasons your husband loses his temper over little things.
4. Forgetting the little things
A lot of men forget the little things they used to do for their wives before they got married or early on in the marriage that showed they cared about them and this is one of the main ways they destroy their marriage.
They forget that it is the little things that matter the most because these show that their wives are constantly in their thoughts as opposed to those grand gestures that happen occasionally when the husband remembers that he has a wife.
It is therefore important that these little things are still done such as texting your wife that you miss her, calling to ask how her day is going, buying her a single rose (or her favorite flower), buying her chocolate, or even going out on a date every now and then.
5. Refusing to apologize and admit wrong
There are few things that turn a woman off like a man who does not know how to apologize when he has done wrong or even admit his wrong in the first place.
This pride is one of the ways husbands destroy their marriage because it can lead to resentment on the part of the wife as she will find it hard to forgive her husband when he wrongs her.
Husbands should therefore own up when they are in the wrong so that there will be peace in their marriage.
6. Being too much of a “fixer”
Sometimes a husband constantly trying to fix problems can be what destroys a marriage as well.
As a man, it is in your nature to fix things especially when it comes to your wife. It is worthy of note, however, that sometimes your wife might just want to vent to you about a problem till she feels better about it.
You do not always have to offer a solution or at least if you must, let it be after you have heard her pour her heart out to you. You can even vent with her for good measure to show solidarity.
As weird as this sounds, surveys show that some women have complained about feeling ignored by their husbands because their husbands did not listen to what they were saying to understand what they were feeling but rather to come up with ways to fix the issue.
7. Taking wife’s sexual satisfaction for granted
A husband neglects his wife when he begins to take his sex life with her for granted and experts say that this is quite prevalent in a lot of marriages. A reason suggested for why this could be the case was that husbands feel that they have easy access to sex and so don’t work hard to keep getting it which is why too many marriage counselors have heard women tell them, “my husband ignores my needs”.
This is the wrong attitude to have because research from Pew Research Center shows that a satisfying sexual life is key to a successful marriage.
Husbands should therefore work hard to please their wives sexually and encourage them to do the same. They should not only focus on their own pleasure and should not only be nice to their wives when they want sex. They should try to turn her on by doing things she likes so that she can enjoy the sex as well.
A healthy sex life between spouses will ensure that a marriage is that much harder to be destroyed.
8. Constantly criticizing and blaming the wife for things going wrong
A very good piece of advice on how to destroy a marriage is to always blame your wife when things go wrong and to constantly criticize her for the things she does.
It is normal for instance, to hear men complaining that they cheated because of their wives or that they can’t stop drinking because their wives nag them a lot instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.
No one likes to be blamed unnecessarily and it brings feelings of resentment which can fester in the marriage until the marriage implodes.
Here are signs your wife might hate or resent you.
9. Heaping unrealistic expectations on partner
Another way husbands destroy their marriage is by expecting too much from their wives forgetting that they are human and so have limitations.
For instance, some wives are expected to work, come home and clean the house, cook for the family, take care of the kids, have sex like a pornstar, and in all this still find time to exercise to keep a certain figure while the husband does whatever he wants.
This is simply unrealistic and can dissolve the marriage when the wife decides that she does not want to be under that much stress any longer.
10. Disrespecting wife
A husband can also lose his wife by disrespecting her; especially, in public. In trying to show dominance, some husbands might bring their wives down, call them names or speak to them in a certain way.
This disrespect will only serve to destroy the marriage when done consistently because no one likes to be disrespected and the wife might decide to leave when she has had enough.
Husbands should therefore remember that their wives are partners with them in their marriage and so should respect them as such.
11. Disregarding wife’s opinion
Also in line with disrespecting your wife is disregarding her opinion. A wife is a partner and partners ought to be able to contribute their opinion to a partnership.
Some men, however, feel that as the head of the family, they do not have to listen to their wives. This is a very terrible attitude to have as it can make the wife feel unimportant. You as a husband ought to put yourself in your wife’s shoes and imagine how you would feel as a wife if your husband puts you last when it comes to decision making.
It’s a terrible feeling and one that should be avoided.
12. Curtailing freedoms of wife
Caging their wives is another example of a husband sabotaging marriage. Some men, for instance, will try to dictate when their wives should be home, who they should associate with, and what kind of jobs they should have.
There are even some husbands that sabotage everything their wives do just so that they can remain dependent on them. This is a form of abuse and will definitely damage the marriage.
Research by the Institute for Family Studies shows that husbands generally cheat more in marriage which is a matter of concern because it goes without saying that cheating on one’s wife is a major way to destroy a marriage because the wife could leave the marriage if she finds out.
One should note that infidelity does not always have to be sexual but can be emotional as well if the husband finds another person with whom he establishes emotional intimacy. This is damaging to the marriage because it could lead to a situation where the husband neglects his wife emotionally as he is being satisfied in this department by someone else.
And even if the husband isn’t cheating, there are behaviors that he should avoid as they can reasonably be expected to make his wife question his loyalty. For instance, if a husband goes out every night, he should not be surprised if his wife accuses him of infidelity.
Here are signs your husband is cheating.
14. Not helping out at home
Another one of the keys to a successful marriage as described by the Pew Research Center is that spouses should share household chores.
If a husband goes out too much or stays home and still doesn’t help his wife with the chores, he is damaging his marriage because he is treating his wife like a maid and not a partner and she might get tired of such treatment and try to leave.
This is one of the things a husband should never do in a marriage. Abuse of any form be it emotional, mental, or physical has no place in marriage and if done can cause very serious damage to the marriage.
Indeed, it is generally recommended that a wife who is suffering domestic violence at the hands of her husband should leave the marriage and consider pressing charges.
This is therefore very serious and should be completely avoided if one hopes to preserve their marriage.
If as a husband, you want to do better, here are signs of a good husband and father.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are the things that destroys marriage?
Some of the things that can destroy a marriage when done by a spouse include:
- Spousal disrespect
- An unfulfilling sex life
- Lack of communication
2. Why do husbands belittle their wives?
Some husbands belittle their wives because they have low self-esteem and so bring their wives down so that they can feel better about themselves.
They could also have insecurities about their wives leaving them so they belittle her to ensure that she does not feel like she can find someone better than them.
3. What are the signs of a bad husband?
Some signs of a bad husband include:
- He abuses his wife
- He disrespects his wife
- He cheats on his wife
- He disregards his wife’s opinion
- He is controlling of his wife
- He is constantly blaming his wife for things and never takes responsibility
Sometimes husbands get into marriage without knowing that there is a lot of commitment involved and so they behave in ways that could destroy their marriage. They may not be doing it on purpose which is why it is important that it is made known to them when they are slacking.
If as a wife, however, you have repeatedly tried to bring his failings to his attention and he has not improved, maybe you should consider getting professional help. If that still does not work, you are well within your rights to leave the marriage but only after giving it some serious consideration.
We sincerely wish you the best and hope you come out on top.
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