- If you’re asking these questions – “Will he ever marry me? How do I know if he doesn’t want to get married?”, then you’re reading the right article. This article will show you the important 13 signs he’s not going to marry you so that you don’t waste your time waiting for something that may never happen.
Share of Americans who want to get married – as of 2012. Source: Statista
After all the special birthday parties, couple’s road trips, couple’s vacation, and maybe several anniversary celebrations, enjoying your hobbies together, having fun together in winter and also an exciting summer together, it is unbearable for you to think that your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you.
If you have no plans to get married this wouldn’t be a problem. But if you’re reading this, then you’re probably part of the 34.5% of people seen in the above chart who want to get married. And your boyfriend may fall into the 38.6% who are uncertain they want to be married, or be on the other side of the 27% that have no desire or interest in marriage.
It is important to understand that marriage is great and beautiful but sadly people’s views on the institution seem to have changed drastically over the years. In one survey seen on Statista, as much as 44% of Americans aged 18 – 29 years old hold the bleak view that marriage is now obsolete. In another survey, only 20% of men believed that marriage should be a goal they have, which is a very small number, to be honest. If this last survey holds true even today, then it is a very sad reality for a good number of girlfriends who are hopeful that they will walk down the aisle.
Do you agree that marriage is becoming obsolete? (October 2010, by age). Source: Statista
Share of Americans who think that marriage should be a goal everyone has in life in 2016, by gender. Source: Statista
The worst thing that can happen to you as a lady is staying in a relationship in hopes that your boyfriend will pop the question, and yet he has no intentions of doing so. And sadly, guys can be rather inconsiderate and selfish when it comes to this issue. A good number of guys would much rather string you along for a long time rather than tell you outrightly that he will never propose to you, or that he doesn’t want to marry you.
Why would he do this you might ask? One would never know but some of the reasons men do this are – he wants to keep you around for as long as he can because he doesn’t want to be alone. Or, he loves you and wants to keep dating you but he doesn’t love you enough to want to commit to a lifelong relationship like marriage.
Whatever his reasons, you shouldn’t waste your time in a relationship that won’t end in marriage if you earnestly desire marriage. If you have no issues with it then there is no problem. But if you do, then it’s time to read the signs, save yourself your precious time and move on. Let us save you the heartache and your precious time, and show you all the important signs your boyfriend won’t marry you.
And if you’re having doubts about whether he loves you or not, let our helpful article on 27 Heartbreaking signs your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore help you in solving the mystery.
13 Significant Signs He Doesn’t Want To Marry You.
If he doesn’t want to get married, these 13 significant signs are how you will know for sure that he will never marry you.
1. He never talks about marriage and when you bring it up, he quickly changes the subject or he never gives you a straight answer.
When last, if ever, have you heard him talk about or mention marriage, even in passing? Think long and hard about this. And if you answer that you can’t recall him ever doing this, that is a very telling sign. When a man wants to marry you, he starts dropping hints about it almost with every chance he gets. He would start saying things like “how many children do you think would be perfect if you had a family?” Or anything else that gives you an indication that he’s been thinking about what a future with you looks like.
With this kind of boyfriend who doesn’t want to marry you, even when you bring it up, he is skillful in running circles around the subject and avoiding talking about it. He would be quick to change the subject, and when you eventually pin him on it, he wouldn’t give you a straightforward answer.
Check out our resourceful related article on How to talk to your boyfriend about the future for more helpful tips on how to successfully talk to your boyfriend about the future of your relationship.
2. He is always touchy, sensitive, defensive, and sometimes angry when the subject of marriage comes up.
Have you noticed how he gets so worked up when you bring up the subject of marriage? And you never understand why he gets so worked up about it right? He’s upset because every time you bring it up, it’s a reminder to him of what he knows he should tell you but doesn’t want to tell you. And that is the fact that he has no intentions of marrying you. If your boyfriend gives any of these reactions when you bring up the subject of marriage, you should know that he has no intentions of marrying you.
3. He never talks about the future for you guys, whether it’s your future plans or his future plans.
Does your boyfriend ever take an active interest in your future plans? Have you guys even discussed his future plans? And when you discuss his future plans, does he include you in them or you’re noticeably absent? If your answer to any or all of these questions is “No”, then sadly your boyfriend does not want to marry you.
A man who sees a future with you will include you in the picture of his plans. Also important, he would want to know that you also have him included in your future plans. A man who has no interest in your future plans is deliberately that way because he doesn’t see any future for the two of you.
4. He’s the kind of guy who “doesn’t like labels” or “institutions”.
When your boyfriend starts saying things like he “doesn’t like labels”, or that “he is not a big fan of institutions” (meaning the institution of marriage), have no doubt that he has no intentions of committing. And talk like that has to be called by what it is – a bunch of nonsense. It sounds harsh but here’s why we say so. A man who is in love and is proud of his girlfriend wants the whole world to know that she is his. He will proudly show her off and put that label to it. And to even leave no one in doubt about how lucky he feels to have her, he will commit to her in a lifelong way, by getting married to her.
If your boyfriend “doesn’t like labels”, it is because he isn’t exactly very proud to say you are his girlfriend. Make no mistake about this. That in itself shows he is not even committed to the relationship. And if he’s not committed to a relationship, to begin with, expecting him to then commit to something as serious as marriage will not happen.
5. He makes one excuse after another about why the time isn’t right as yet for him to marry you.
Every time you bring up the subject of when he thinks you will both get married, he always has one excuse after the other. And you will also notice how when he achieves one of his excuses and you point that out to him, another one will suddenly crop up. It’s almost like he has a stash of excuses somewhere always ready to pull one out when it is needed.
And with every conversation you have, it is starting to feel like you are being needy and demanding and impossible. Should you continue bringing this up? We will give you helpful tips on what to do in the next section.
6. You don’t even know his family members that well or at all.
This one is a very important sign to pay attention to, especially if you’ve been dating for some time. Think about it, have you really met with his family members? And by meeting, we don’t mean bumping into them somewhere and saying hurried hello’s and hi’s. Has he introduced you to members of his family as someone he’s serious about? If he hasn’t, that is because he doesn’t think you are the one and has no interest in marrying you. When a man is serious about a woman and sees her as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he will proudly show her off to his family.
7. He always avoids meeting your family even for casual visits.
Okay, so maybe you want to make excuses for why you haven’t met his family yet. But how about meeting your own family, even casually or informally? Is he always “busy” to see them or conveniently always unavailable when you try to schedule a casual visit? Darling, that is because he does not want to marry you.
He knows that by meeting your family, he is indirectly telling them that he is serious about you and would even consider marrying you. And since he isn’t serious to that extent yet, he will always find a way out of such a meeting.
8. The way he introduces you in public makes you doubt how serious your relationship is.
A man who is serious about you will never hesitate to introduce you in public as his girlfriend. But if you start to notice that he hesitates in calling you his girlfriend when he introduces you and would much rather call you by your name, it’s not in your head. He is not committed to you and isn’t exactly proud to call you his own outside.
9. You’ve been dating for a very long time and he still hasn’t proposed.
If you’ve been dating for a very long time now, and he still hasn’t proposed to you, that’s because he will never propose. Here’s something that must be said about men and marriage, and why we make such a bold statement. Ask any man, they know within a very short space of time if you’re the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
For some men, it is as instant as the minute they set eyes on you and speak with you, while for others it will be some months down the line. But whatever works for the man, it never takes them more than 6 months to know if you’re the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with. It certainly won’t take him as much as 5 years or 10 years to figure that out.
10. Your relationship still feels very much one-sided.
If you still don’t feel like you guys are a team in your relationship, that is no coincidence. He has made it that way because he doesn’t see a future with you and is just spending time with you until the one he feels that way about comes along. These two little things will tell you whether you are a team or not –
- If he makes important decisions alone without ever seeking your input, that’s because he doesn’t think you are important enough to him to have a say in what he does. When a man sees you in his future or is committed to the relationship, he would not make any important decisions without at least asking what you think. He may not necessarily go with what you say, but he would at least ask.
- If he never confides in you, this is another indicator that he still doesn’t see you as an important part of his life. Men confide in the woman they are committed to and see a future with.
11. He isn’t fully invested in the relationship.
Do you feel like you’re the only one making the most sacrifice in your relationship to make it work? This is not supposed to be the case in a relationship where both partners are committed to each other. A man who is committed to you and sees a future with you will make sacrifices to make the relationship work. He will invest his time, resources, and all into it. You won’t feel like you’re the only one going all out to make the relationship work.
Sadly when he is not fully committed or invested, it is because he doesn’t see the relationship as something long term with the potential to end in marriage. And if he doesn’t see the relationship itself as serious or something to commit to, expecting him to take it a step further and talk about marriage will also be a bit of a stretch.
If you want to know if you have a great boyfriend check out our helpful article on 25 Remarkable things a good boyfriend does.
12. If he has proposed, he is stalling on setting a date.
Then you have that boyfriend who will propose just to make you stop “nagging” him about getting married. You’re excited thinking this is it and he’s finally given you what you’ve been dreaming about. Except he hasn’t. He has only proposed to get you to stop talking about it.
And you know this by looking at how he responds or reacts when you start talking about fixing a date for the wedding. Suddenly there are a million reasons why you can’t set a date yet. Today it’s work commitments. Tomorrow is a family emergency. The time for some reason never seems to be right. And that is because it never will be. Don’t fool yourself anymore sweetheart. That proposal was a sham and he has no real intentions of marrying you. It sounds harsh but it is the bitter truth and one you need to face up to.
13. He tells you he doesn’t want to get married.
This one is the clearest sign that he will never marry you. Understand that when a guy says this, he means it. Women sometimes choose to convince themselves into believing that he surely did not mean that he doesn’t want to get married. But how wrong you are darling. A man who tells you unequivocally that he doesn’t want to get married means exactly that, and you should take his word for it.
Learn more about the things girls love hearing from their boyfriends in this article on Things a girl wants to hear from her boyfriend.
He doesn’t want to marry me should I leave him? Is it time to move on? What to do when he doesn’t want to get married.
The answer to this question solely lies with you and what you can and cannot live with. Are you content with spending the rest of your life unmarried? Or is marriage very important to you and a deal-breaker for you?
If marriage is a deal-breaker for you, we believe you already know the answer to this question. And that is that you will have to accept that this relationship has reached its end. There is no point staying in a relationship where the handwriting on the wall is clear that he doesn’t want to marry you. You will be miserable and unhappy in that relationship, and it won’t be worth it anymore. You need to love and care for yourself enough to leave the relationship. Being single and alone and happy is better than being in a one-sided relationship with no commitment. It is indeed time to move on.
Check out this helpful related article on How to stay single and be happy. And if you are worried about what to do after you leave him, let our article on What to do after a breakup with boyfriend help you out with amazing ideas on some fun things to do.
If you’re content with not being married, then there is nothing wrong with staying on in the relationship. Even then, if your boyfriend shows any of the signs of not being committed in the relationship, it is worth assessing whether it is worthwhile being in a relationship where you are the only one making all the sacrifices to keep the relationship afloat.
Another good read – What to say to your boyfriend to make him happy.
Frequently Asked Questions.
1. Why doesn’t he want to marry me?
A man won’t marry a woman he doesn’t see as the one or as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. If he doesn’t want to marry you, sadly it means he doesn’t think you’re the one for him. Why he feels that way however is something only he can answer.
2. He loves me but won’t marry me, what should I do?
Decide if you’re okay with not being married. If it’s a decision you’re able to live with, then you can stay with him. If however, marriage is important to you, then you’ll need to make the difficult decision and leave him. Remember that a guy that deeply loves you will have no issues with committing to you in marriage.
3. He says he never wants to get married, what should I do?
If you’re not okay with it then you will need to make the hard decision to leave him because staying with him and hoping he changes his mind won’t happen. When a man says he never wants to get married, he means he never wants to get married. At least not to you. Sticking around won’t change it.
4. What are the signs he doesn’t want to marry you anymore?
Any or all of the 13 signs listed in this article also apply to the guy who seems not to want to marry you anymore.
5. What are the signs he will never propose?
The 13 signs listed in this article also apply to the guy who will never propose to you.
6. My boyfriend jokes about marriage, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
It depends on what kind of jokes about marriage he makes. Does he joke about it in a way to make fun of married people and say how terrible their lives are? Or does he joke about it saying the crazy things he would do if he were your husband?
If he is joking about it and making fun of married people, then that’s not good because it means he doesn’t think highly of marriage and may not even want to get married. If his joke is about the things he would do as a husband, that is a very good thing and a very positive sign that he’s already talking about a future with you.
The Conclusion Of The Whole Matter Is This!
A man who wants to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you will leave you in no doubt about this. And where this is the case, he already knows this. If you have to keep bringing up the subject of marriage with your boyfriend, you also need to stop and ask yourself if you want to keep “begging” a man to marry you, because every time you push him to marry you that is exactly what you are doing.
You are a jewel, and any man will be lucky to have you in their life and spend the rest of their lives with you. If your boyfriend can’t see that and consistently shows you all the 13 signs he won’t marry you, then consider that it may be time to get up and move on. Make yourself available for that prince charming who sees your value and would not hesitate to spend the rest of his life with you.
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