9 Signs A Man Will Never Change
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One would expect that with the rise in educational attainment in the U.S., seen from this chart from Vox, it would also translate into a more pragmatic way of thinking for all Americans. Alas, this isn’t always the case. There are sadly some people who still remain resolute in their often unreasonable way of doing things. The sad reality in the case of such persons is that no matter how much education they attain, they are never going to change. In this article, we will be exploring the topic of men that don’t change and probably will never change. We will be showing you the signs he will never change.
When do you know that someone will never change? 9 signs a man will never change.
1. He is never wrong.
The man who will never change is never wrong, even when he is clearly in the wrong. He always has a way of explaining away and justifying his faults. There is always a “good” reason behind his actions according to him.
2. Everything is your fault as far as he is concerned.
This goes with him never being wrong. Because he is never wrong, it has to be somebody’s fault for anything he does wrong. He never wants to take responsibility for wrongdoing and would therefore always want to place the blame elsewhere. And since you are the closest person to him, he has no qualms making everything he does wrong somehow your fault.
3. He is very selfish and always has to have his way.
A man who will never change is very selfish and self-centered. Everything revolves around him and, likely, you always feel like “he does nothing for me”. You are probably hoping that maybe he will change eventually and become selfless and generous towards you. The sad reality is that he will never change and will remain selfish and self-centered.
4. He gets angry when you try to point out something he’s done wrong.
This one is another common trait in a man that will never change. He is this way because he believes in his mind that he can never be wrong. And so, when you are bold to point out his wrong, he sees it as a personal affront and loses his cool with you.
Check out Husband loses temper over little things.
5. He offers half-hearted apologies and never stops doing the things he “apologizes” for.
When he ultimately apologizes, he is so defensive and back and forth with the blame game that you can tell that he isn’t giving the apology with his whole heart. And you would expect that after apologizing he would turn a new leaf but how far from reality that is. He still continues and nothing changes.
You may like this article on What to do when someone won’t apologize to know how to deal with his refusal to apologize.
6. He doesn’t care about your feelings.
This is another typical trait of a man who will never change. He cares about no one else but himself. And so, how you may feel or how his actions make you feel is usually the least of his concern. And if you are not sure whether or not he doesn’t care about your feelings, let our article on 11 signs he doesn’t care about your feelings give you all the right pointers you need to look out for.
7. He makes empty promises.
A man who will never change sees no issues with making promises he has no intention of keeping. It is almost second nature to him. He is a big talker but never follows up with the requisite action.
8. He is very dismissive about the things that matter to you.
Consistent with his self-centered nature, and being uncaring about your feelings, he will never give attention to the things that matter to you. And when you try to raise them, he dismisses them in an offhand manner. You always get the sense that he doesn’t want to listen to any conversation that has to do with you and the things that matter to you.
9. He doesn’t want to change his behavior but wants you to change who you are instead to suit his patterns and behavior.
You get to see this in how he always bemoans the fact that if only you could be better in this way or that way, then he wouldn’t have to behave in the ways that he does. He always has suggestions about how you can improve in one way or another, and never about how he can be better.
What to do when he won’t change.
When a man won’t change, the most important factor that determines what you can or should do is the type of relationship you have with him.
If he is your father.
Since he is your father, there isn’t much you can do but accept him for who he is. Trying to always show him that he is wrong will wear you out and leave you almost always exasperated. It is, therefore, best to as much as possible steer clear of having lengthy conversations that could spiral out of control. Sad as this is, it is the only way to save yourself the trouble.
And even when he tries to engage you in an argument, it is best to keep mum and then politely take your leave after he is done. This is so that you don’t have the conversation go on for too long and wear yourself out in the process.
If he is your sibling.
This one can be a little tricky depending on how you are positioned. If it is an older sibling, there is obviously a limit to how you can express your anger or frustration with his actions. It is a lot easier to register your displeasure as you feel with a younger sibling because of the age gap.
With a sibling, let them know that you do not like their actions and are minded to keep your distance if they will not change. And if they do not change, love them from a distance. They are family, and you cannot completely cut them off. What you can however do is love them in a way that they don’t keep hurting you. And that is to love them from a distance.
If he is an extended family member.
With extended family members, the familial ties and bonds are usually not very strong. And so with an extended family member, it is a whole lot easier to tell them where to get off and let them know that you will not tolerate such actions.
If he is a friend of the family.
Just as with an extended family member, it is also easy to tell a friend of the family where to get off once they start displaying the signs that they will never change. And you don’t need to have them around you. You can easily tell them you don’t want them coming to your house anymore because of their unbearable character trait.
If he is a lover.
With a lover, it is also not an easy task. Try having a heart-to-heart conversation with them about how their actions make you feel. Make a conscious decision that you will not allow their actions to affect you negatively, especially as concerns your mental health. And if he continues, you may have to consider giving yourself a distance from him. This is because the longer you stay with him, the more toxic the relationship will become for you. This will eventually take a toll on your mental health and even your self-esteem because it will cause you to start doubting yourself a lot and having low self-confidence.
You may like these related articles on When should you give up on a relationship and Things to consider when ending a long term relationship.
Frequently asked questions.
1. Why is he trying to change me?
People generally try to change others so that they can control and manipulate them and it is no different for the man that is trying to change you. He wants to make you pliable in his hands and this is the chief reason why he is trying to change you.
2. Can he change?
It is always best to take people as they come and accept as a predisposition that people will not change who they are at the core. When we accept this from the get-go, we save ourselves the heartache of trying to change people or hating people because they cannot change. He can change but only if he wants to change. If he doesn’t see anything wrong with the way he is, then you can be rest assured that he will see no need to change.
3. How do you know he will never change?
The 9 signs in this article displayed consistently over time are all the indications that you need that he will likely never change.
4. When a man is trying to change for the better, how do you know?
You see it in his actions. You can see that he is making a deliberate/conscious effort to change from those negative traits
5. How do you tell if a man is tired of you?
Our articles on Signs your husband isn’t in love with you and Signs your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore provide useful insights on how to tell if he is tired of you and no longer in love with you.
6. What makes a man change his ways?
Only a change of heart by the man himself can make him change his ways. If he doesn’t realize that he needs to change his ways, then nothing can make him change his ways.
High levels of education do not always translate to a change of character in people. When a man is set in his ways, he will never change. He will display all or most of the 9 signs discussed in this article.
How you respond to his insensitive actions will be determined by the type of relationship you have with him. With close family members and a lover, it will not always be easy to let them know how their actions make you feel.
In some cases, you may even have to consider staying away from them for your sanity and peace of mind. However, where the man in question isn’t a close family member, it becomes a little easier to let them know how they make you feel and to call them out where necessary.
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