How to Get People to Like You at Work
WhatToGetMy Instructional Article
This article is for you (or someone you may know) if you have any of the following workplace challenges:
- You don’t have the respect of your co-workers, and you want to get respect from coworkers;
- You also want your co-workers to like you and want to know how to get coworkers to like you;
- Or perhaps it is actually just a more general issue of you want to be respected at work, and also make your boss respect you;
- You want to know how to get people to like you at work and in liking you, get them to work with you;
- Or maybe everyone on your team likes everyone else but you, and you would want to understand why that is the case, and how you can deal with it;
- Or you’re probably a newbie at your workplace, and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, and would like to know how to be liked at work.
More than 150 million Americans spend a good deal of their lives working.
Employment in the United States from 2010 to 2020 (in millions)
And that means that they spend a good deal of time with other people, their coworkers. It, therefore, becomes very important that the workplace and the relationship and interactions between coworkers is a positive one. This is the only way to ensure that the wheels of commerce and economic activities do not grind to a halt. A happy workforce is vital to a happy economy. This article examines in-depth how each employee can get the people he works with, to like him at work. When every single employee follows this model, this will create a rapid chain reaction of the happy workforce that was earlier alluded to.
Feeling unliked and disrespected at work is a stressor that can impact on your work productivity.
All of the challenges highlighted earlier above basically boil down to two things – you are feeling unliked, almost unwelcomed, and somewhat disrespected at your workplace. Whether you are the newbie or have been working at the said establishment for some time, those two feelings can make one’s work-life almost miserable and unbearable. According to a 2014 Monster report, problematic coworker relationships contributed to 31% of the work stressor in the U.S market. This figure remained consistent even in a later 2017 survey. And according to another later Monster poll, 25% of Americans indicated that navigating a successful relationship with their fellow co-workers was one of the most stressful aspects of their job.
Commonly reported workplace stressors in the U.S. 2014
Sources of workplace stress in North America as of 2017
These stats paint a rather gloomy and sad picture of what a sizable number of the American workforce have to deal with, in addition to other work-related stressors. Where an employee feels disliked and disrespected at work, it makes such an employee unproductive because they dread going to work. Imagine not performing because of the work environment created as a result of hostility created by employees not getting along. It can even lead to an employee quitting the job entirely, as this 2017 survey in the U.S showed. According to another survey, such workplace stressors have led to some employees adopting unhealthy lifestyle behaviors as a way to cope with/deal with the stress. And while for 81% of others, it has negatively affected their relationship with close friends and family members.
Assuming that you believe that you’re paid fairly, why would you quit your job (U.S. 2017)
Percentage of U.S. employees who stated that stress from their job caused them to regularly engage in unhealthy behaviors from 2015 to 2017.
Percentage whose work related stress affected their relationship with friends and family (U.S., 2015-17)
And perhaps when you got this job you were so excited at the prospect of working for such a reputable company. You probably had big ideas of how to contribute to the company to add to its success story. And you’ve bragged to all your friends and family that you have the coolest job. And now you wake up with dread and trepidation, not exactly looking forward to any morning at work, and even worse you are considering quitting. You definitely did not sign up for this kind of experience, and especially not given how hard it may have been for you to land the job in the first place. You ought to enjoy your work and stay at your job, and importantly have a very harmonious work relationship with your boss and your coworkers. By the end of this article, you would have found the right key(s) to getting people to like you at work; to get respect from coworkers; and to make your boss respect you.
HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU AT WORK
All of the above stats underscore the importance of coworkers having a very harmonious and cordial working relationship amongst themselves. There is therefore nothing wrong with you for wanting your work colleagues and your boss to like and respect you. As all of the above stats have shown, having a work environment where there is harmony would ensure that employees thrive and enjoy the work they do. This would in turn positively affect the output and success/productivity of the company. Indeed, according to a survey carried out by an IT company amongst its staff members, they indicated that the major factor that would guarantee their happiness in the company, (and by extension, their productivity) was if there was a harmonious working relationship with co-workers.
Top drivers of IT Pro Happiness in the Workplace 2019.
In dealing with this important question of how to get people to like you at work, we will show you how to get people to like you at work as a newbie, and after your phase as a newbie, how to sustain the like and respect with your co-workers as your work history continues, and finally how to make your boss (and his management team) respect you.
The Newbie – How To Be Liked At Work and Gaining Respect In The Workplace.
When you’re new to a job, you’re understandably nervous – “Would they like me?”; “Would the boss be impressed with me?”; “Would I screw things up?” All these thoughts and questions are racing in your head and you’re a nervous and anxious wreck. You’re asking as you read this article, “How do I win over my coworkers?” You’re about to find out. Here are 5 guaranteed ways to be liked at work and gain respect in the workplace:
1. First Relax and Be Calm But Be Approachable.
This is very important. It’s important that you step into work relaxed and calm, and importantly that you appear relaxed and calm to your colleagues. This is not to be confused with being aloof and taking on an air of aloofness on your first day at work. If your coworkers get the sense that you are aloof on your first day, you can be sure that it would make it a lot more difficult for you to win them over.
Stay calm and composed, and importantly approachable. You maintain an air of approachability by smiling and being friendly even as you walk into the office. From the gate, as soon as you enter, smile and greet everyone you come across. This immediately tells everyone that you are respecting your coworkers even before you’ve gotten to know them in-depth. This is important because you are new and therefore do not know as yet who is who. You may decide to be selective of who you smile and greet, only to later realize that the person in question holds the proverbial keys to the work kingdom so to speak, in the pecking order.
Once you gain a reputation from the first day of being that warm and friendly new hire, you can be sure that you’ll be better received from the first day and become very likable and respected. You may in fact start making new friends from that day.
2. Do not be quick to make friends or form alliances as yet.
This is the next important step. So, it’s probably your second or third week and you’re feeling comfortable now and somewhat settled in. The natural temptation or inclination is to want to find a reliable office friend. This is very important actually, but wait for a little on it. Don’t rush into it.
Why is that? In two/three weeks, it is a very short time to know exactly the character and personalities of all the people you’re working with. Give yourself at least a month (or two) to observe your environment and learn the important work dynamics and characters of the people you work with. In that time, take note of who seems to be the life of the party; who seems to be more contentious and problematic (so that you try as best as possible to steer clear of their path); those who may be bad influences; those who complain a lot about work (so that you also keep your interactions with them to a minimum); and importantly those who are good influences and who you may want to align with.
Once you have deciphered the character and dynamics of your colleagues, you are now better equipped to make an informed choice of who should be a friend/ally. Your coworkers will also observe this about you, and it will be sure to earn you the respect of some if not all.
3. Avoid petty office squabbles and stay away from office gossip and complaints.
Whether this is gossip about the boss and other coworkers or just bitter complaints about the way the office is being run (or not run). You are new, and you do not want to be drawn into such drama. Those who gossip in the office, as you would learn, cannot be trusted and would very easily make you the subject matter of their gossip. They are also unreliable and are often given to snitching on other coworkers to the boss(es), in order to score cheap brownie points. It would, therefore, be in your best interest to steer clear of these types. When they approach you with a “juicy” story, respectfully smile and inform them that you need to get back to work and end the discussion before it starts.
On the flip side of the gossiper is the complainer. Nothing in the company is ever good enough for them. You also need to be wary of this type because their negative energy tends to rub off on others and reduce productivity. The last thing you want is to have your productive energies reduced by being told all that is wrong with the company that you are proud of being a part of.
When you refuse to engage in the office gossip and complaints in a respectful manner, you immediately set your boundaries and this would help you in shaping and determining the types of interaction(s) you want to have with your coworkers.
Also try to avoid getting involved in the petty office squabbles, not least because you are still new and do not have a good appreciation of what the background and underlying issues might be. And this means refusing to be drawn into taking any sides; remain as neutral as possible and some of your coworkers will respect you for it.
4. Volunteer to help your colleagues.
Since you are new, you don’t know much or indeed anything as yet about the company. Once you’ve settled in and studied your environment, volunteer to help your colleagues with some of their workloads, as much as this is possible. This is a sure and quick way to start endearing yourself to your coworkers and to get them to like you. It also tells them that you are a team player and helpful.
5. Treat them every once in a while.
When you can afford it, you can every now and then buy a cup of coffee and bagels or croissants for your coworkers on your way to work. Nothing warms people up like food, especially a very hot cup of coffee (and croissants) on a very blue Monday morning.
By doing all of the above, you gain respect in your new place of work, and you get your fellow coworkers to like you. And when your coworkers like and respect you, they will easily work with you.
Dealing With Coworkers – How to Get Respect from Coworkers and Get Coworkers To Like You.
So now you’ve graduated from being a newbie, and can now be considered a full member of the team and you want to maintain the love and respect you gained from your coworkers after following the above tips. Or maybe you have been with the company for some time now, and you feel you are losing the respect of your coworkers. You’re probably also feeling like they are starting to like you less or maybe you feel like everyone on your team likes everyone else but you. How can you in any of these circumstances get respect from your coworkers and get them to like you? The following ways are guaranteed to make coworkers like you and gain you their respect:
1. Have a friendly rapport with colleagues.
This is the easiest way to get your coworkers to like you. How can you build a friendly rapport and be friendly with your coworkers?
- Greet them. This sounds simple but really think about it – how often do you get to work and head straight for your desk or cubicle without bothering too much to say hello to the people on your way to your desk or cubicle? If you’re not used to doing this, does it surprise you then that the lady or gentleman not too far away from your cubicle gives you the cold shoulder? Consider doing things differently and watch their attitude to you change not too long thereafter;
- Compliment them for a job well done. People love to be complimented;
- Try and get to know them within acceptable limits of course. To be able to do this, you’ll need to establish what their boundaries are early on so that you don’t overstep;
- Take an active interest in their lives within acceptable limits. Learn more about them, and it is especially important to remember the small details about them so that you can have a more engaging conversation with them. Nothing warms the heart as a genuinely engaging conversation.
- Go out occasionally for drinks with them or find other fun things to do with them outside work. This fosters a sense of camaraderie and would make the bond of respect stronger;
- Find excuses to give them gifts, whether small or big – it could be non-food or food gifts; it could be sentimental gifts for an occasion, or maybe one of your coworkers is going away on a sabbatical or maternity leave.
2. Don’t be guilty of the following underhanded office politics manoeuvers/tactics –
- Being the office snitch. You don’t need to be running to your boss to report everything you think you’ve seen or heard. Unless what you’ve heard involves serious fraud or other illegality against the company, it is considered immature to always run to the boss, and this will very quickly alienate you from your fellow coworkers. Where the issue involves you, try as much as possible to try and resolve it with your colleague before involving your boss or a member of management;
- Undercutting your coworkers and taking credit for their work, or undermining them. This is another sure way to get fellow coworkers to despise you. In a group, give credit for everyone’s effort(s) and do not take credit that isn’t yours to take. When you undermine your colleagues(s), you are not respecting your coworker, and they will, in turn, respond by not respecting you;
- Gossiping about any and everyone behind their backs. Gossip will quickly alienate you from your colleagues.
3. Be a team player.
You can become a team player by doing the following:
- Be willing to help colleagues. If you know someone that can maybe help them solve a problem, share that link. They’ll like and respect you for it;
- Learn to work with other colleagues and try to do projects as a team. If you want your colleagues to like you and work with you, you cannot afford to isolate yourself and be an island of your own. Look at the project that you have been assigned and take stock of who amongst your coworkers can partner with you to work on it. You can be sure that at the end of that project, you would have made a friend and also gain the respectful reputation of being a team player;
- Learn to ask the views of your colleagues and for help every now and again. Even if you think you know it all, soliciting the views of your colleagues on a matter makes the important statement to them that you value their opinion and believe they have something of value to add. Pretty soon, those colleagues will become good friends;
- If you see a colleague swamped try to help them as part of being a team player;
- Help newbies. This one is a golden opportunity to not only make allies but to also contribute to the growth and development of the new talent(s) in the company. You get the chance to inculcate positive virtues in the newbies before the system corrupts them, and who knows you may just make them incorruptible.
4. Finally, steer away from controversial issues like criticizing members of management.
These always have a way of coming out. Also remember that the ones who are always quick to criticize management and gossip, almost always have an ulterior motive and hidden agenda. Don’t be caught in the crossfire. And again, those who gossip and are the office chatterbox have a reputation that precedes them. Being known as someone who associates with the office chatterbox may in fact alienate you from the rest of your coworkers who would look at you with suspicion; it really is not worth it. And in the same vein, don’t be part of the negativity and complaining band.
When you follow these 4 steps, you will definitely have your coworkers respect and like you.
Dealing With The Boss (And Management Staff) – Make Your Boss Respect You.
Nothing makes an employee’s life a living hell as not being respected by the boss. It can eat away at your confidence and make you miserable. This will in turn affect your productivity, and if care is not taken, may cause you to lose that job. How then can you make your boss respect you? Whether you’re a newbie or have been at your workplace for some time, these tips will make your boss respect you:
1. First, understand their leadership style and quickly adjust to it.
And you don’t need to agree with it. If you want to agree with your boss’s leadership style before you adjust to it, you can rest assured that you’ll forever be unhappy at your work because you’ll always clash with your boss and feel as though he/she does not respect you.
2. Have a good attitude.
Nothing turns bosses off like a negative and toxic attitude. And the bosses always have a way of finding out the employees that fall into this category, and they do not respect such employees. Ensure that you are not in the clique of those who gossip and have a negative attitude, or don’t be surprised then when the boss appears to treat you with a seeming lack of respect.
3. Bring something to the table.
What valuable contributions and additions have you made to the company since you arrived? Bosses value employees that bring a value add to the company. These are the kind of employees that they respect. Ask yourself what you have brought to the table, and what you can bring to the table.
4. Be organized and efficient.
Being organized and efficient means you’re on top of things and your schedule and organization of the same are above reproach. You don’t want to be that employee that is always late for every briefing meeting; your boss will not take you seriously or respect you for that matter.
Efficiency also means that the quality of your work is impeccably excellent and topnotch. If you’re that employee that is known to give only the best in terms of output, your boss will have no reason but to respect you because your work speaks for itself and makes you a high-value employee.
5. Be proactive.
Take initiative. If your boss has his hands full, offer to help him with some tasks, rather than wait to be given the task. Bosses respect proactive employees.
6. Finally, respect your boss.
Regardless of how you may feel about your boss, respecting him will in turn make him respect you. He is after all the boss, and by virtue of that position is deserving of your respect. Even if you may not respect him as a person, at least respect the office he holds. Understand that failure to respect your boss could actually get you fired for insubordination.
If you find it difficult to respect your boss then the best thing for you to do is to resign from the job so that you leave honorably, and on your own terms, rather than getting fired.
Carrying out any of these will earn you the respect of your boss and make your work all the more enjoyable and exciting.
WHEN YOUR COWORKERS AND YOUR BOSS LIKE AND RESPECT YOU:
This is guaranteed to increase your productivity. A happy employee is a productive employee. You will also feel more fulfilled with your work and look forward every day to going to work.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. How do you demand respect at work?
You don’t demand respect, you earn it. If you don’t respect your coworkers and your boss, you are in no position to be demanding respect at work. Respecting your coworkers and your boss by doing all that has been set out in this article, will cause respect to flow naturally to you from them.
2. How can I get respect from coworkers?
When you carry out all of what has been listed in this article, you will get respect from coworkers.
3. What do you do when everyone on your team likes everyone else but you?
First of all, be sure that you’re not imagining this and that it’s not all in your head. Remember that we are different and approach people differently. And maybe you caught them on a bad day. If after such evaluation you’re still certain they have a personal vendetta against you, try to find out from them what the issue is and what you may have done wrong and fix it.
If the matter still continues, consider involving the human resource management office to avoid having the tension affect your work.
4. How can you make a coworker want you?
This will depend on what your workplace has to say about a romantic relationship(s) between colleagues. If this is allowed in your workplace, then we suggest reading our articles on how to tell a guy your intentions, how to ask a guy what he wants from you or a lady. These provide very good tips on how to go about getting a particular coworker to take a romantic interest in you.
Not getting along with coworkers or feeling disrespected both by coworkers and your boss can limit your productivity, and in worst cases cause you to leave your job. Getting along with coworkers and your boss on the other hand, can increase your productivity and efficiency.
By following through on all the tips in this article on how to get people to like you at work, you can be sure that you will be that favorite employee that all coworkers like, and that the boss greatly respects. But when you fail to give your coworkers and your boss their respect, don’t expect to get the same.
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