25 Remarkable Things a Good Boyfriend Does
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- If you want to know the characteristics, qualities of a great boyfriend, read on to find out ways you know you have a good boyfriend. A great boyfriend will exhibit all the 21 characteristics and qualities listed in this article.
Perhaps you are part of the 25% of Americans who according to a 2019 survey by Statista were passionately in love.
And you want to keep the flame of love and passion burning as intensely as the first time you met and fell in love with your girlfriend. And therefore want to know what type of things a good boyfriend does, so that you either keep doing them or improve on areas you may fall short.
Or maybe on the other end of the spectrum, you are a lady also passionately in love, and you want to be certain that your boyfriend is deserving of that love through his actions. And as a result, you also want to know the characteristics of a good boyfriend and how a boyfriend should treat his girlfriend.
These are the signs and characteristics of a good boyfriend to look out for. If your boyfriend exhibits all these qualities, it is a sign that you have a great boyfriend.
Is He A Good Boyfriend? 25 Characteristics and Qualities Of A Great Boyfriend.
We all look for different things in our partners, and the needs and desires of different women are hardly ever the same. Take for example this 2019 dating data by Man Intelligence where for some women, 22%, the quality of a good boyfriend is his ability to make good coffee. Another lady may hear that and be amused by it because she doesn’t find it to be a big deal. In an earlier 2015 data also discussed in the same article 26% of women find a man’s handsome face as a quality that makes him hot, while for others it wouldn’t matter provided he had important qualities like being respectful and loving.
The qualities and characteristics listed here are not specific subjective tastes and preferences, but rather foundational characteristics that are critical to the success of any love relationship. Having a boyfriend is not enough because any man can have the tag of a boyfriend. What matters is having a good/great boyfriend, and that is what you deserve and should be on the lookout for.
Most of these characteristics and qualities already appear on the above charts and will be explained in more detail below. Here are 25 remarkable things a good boyfriend does.
1. He Respects You.
Respect is critical and vital for the success of any relationship. A good boyfriend respects you in the following ways:
He respects your time.
When you both agree on a time for your date, he does not make it a habit to always show up late. Maybe on very rare occasions, an unforeseeable and unexpected emergency can arise and he has to show up late, and he apologizes for it. But if he makes it a habit to always “have an emergency” and keep you waiting, he does not respect your time and is not a good boyfriend.
He respects your opinions even if he may not agree with them.
It is not possible to always agree on everything. It would in fact make your relationship boring if you never have differing views and opinions. A good boyfriend will respect your differing views and opinions, even if he may not agree with them. He would want to hear your differing views and opinions because he values and respects them and consider them important contributors to his growth.
He respects the things you stand for and are passionate about.
He may not share your passions and desires, but he respects them very much and will not put them down or demean them.
He is respectful in the way he speaks to and addresses you both in private and in public.
A boyfriend who raises his voice at you all the time and speaks in a demeaning and condescending manner to you is terrible. A good/great boyfriend is tempered in the way they speak and are particularly mindful of how they speak to you both in the privacy of your homes and in public. He won’t raise his voice at you or speak to you in a manner that is rude and disrespectful.
If he makes it a point to put you down in public places or in private for the smallest or biggest things, that is a red flag that you have an abusive boyfriend. You need to seriously reconsider the relationship if that happens to be the case (more on this in the next section).
2. He Values You.
A good boyfriend values you and sees you as an important part of his life. A good test of how much value he places on you are the following:
He values your opinions and actively seeks them out.
Even if he doesn’t follow all of your suggestions, he values them enough to want to hear what they are.
He makes plans with you from the onset.
He considers you an integral part of his life enough to want to involve you in making major life decisions. This is especially important if your relationship is a serious one and you are considering making it more long term.
If he always makes his plans first and then just tells you about them as a by the way thing, then he does not place much value in you and your relationship. It’s also a sign that he doesn’t see the relationship as sufficiently serious enough for him to start taking such serious steps with you.
3. He Trusts You.
This is another important quality. If he is always questioning everything you say like he doesn’t believe them, or he’s always looking over your shoulder to see what you’re doing, who you’re with at what time, these are signs that he is insecure and does not trust you.
4. He Does Not Undermine You.
A boyfriend who disagrees with you openly in front of your friends or family or his friends and family is not a great boyfriend and does not respect you. By disagreeing with you openly, he is undermining and belittling you before your friends and family.
5. He Is Generous And Spoils You.
We’re not saying he has to be filthy rich to spoil you rotten. Small gestures like buying you flowers and chocolates out of the blue, for no reason, or surprising you with gifts for no reason are signs of a great boyfriend. He is always looking for creative ways to buy and give you gifts and spoil you.
You may think this is superficial but actually, it isn’t. Here’s what you should understand about men. When they value something, they spend their money on it, even if it’s the last money they have. Think about it for a minute. When a guy loves gadgets, for instance, he will go out of his way to save up for and buy it. The way a guy spends his money on you is one of the indicators of how much he values. If he doesn’t think you’re worth him spending his money on you and spoiling you every once in a while, he is not a good boyfriend and it also shows he doesn’t value you or the relationship very much.
When he goes out and sees that pretty dress and thinks “that would look good on my girlfriend” and buys it, that’s a great boyfriend. Even if he doesn’t do this often, but on special occasions like your birthday and valentine’s day, for example, he should at least spoil you.
On the other side is generosity. When you ask him for something, he is not always quick to say no. Even if he may not have it at the time when you asked, he will go out of his way to see how to help you get what you asked for.
6. He Makes Out Time For You And Spends Quality Time With You.
A great boyfriend will make time for your relationship and spend quality time with you doing things like playing games with you and just hanging out with you to learn more about you. He makes out time for both of you to actively pursue your hobbies as a way of growing in love.
If you have to beg your boyfriend to make out time for your relationship or at least spend some quality time with you, that is a sign that you don’t have a good boyfriend. Every one of us is busy, and a boyfriend who always makes the excuse of being busy when you ask him to spend time with you sees you as an option and not a priority, and is not a good boyfriend. If he doesn’t think you are deserving of being spent quality time with, then he’s certainly not deserving of your time, love, and attention.
Here are three important signs that he is not spending quality time with you:
When spending time together is always on his terms.
This means that he has no regard for your own time and what works for you. If you always have to bend backward to accommodate his schedule and spend time at his convenience without his reciprocating the gesture, then he does not value spending time with you.
When you have to beg him to spend time with you.
Making out time to spend with you for both of you to know each other better and grow in love is a no-brainer in every relationship and goes without saying. But if you always have to beg your boyfriend to do this very simple no-brainer, it is a strong indicator that he does not make out time for your relationship or spend quality time with you.
He is always distracted when he is with you.
If he is on his phone half or most of the time when you’re together, and hardly present in the conversation or with you when you’re both together, he is not spending quality time with you. If he is spending quality time with you, his mind will not be elsewhere; he will be fully connected and engaged. His whole faculties will be present with you.
7. He Is Open And Honest With You.
Transparency and honesty are important in any relationship to foster trust, loyalty, and love. If he is always shifty and never consistent or you can’t seem to trust the truthfulness of what he tells you, that is a red flag. It is a sign of a dishonest and untrustworthy person, and this is not good for any relationship. A great boyfriend’s word is his bond. When he says yes, it is a true and honest yes, and when he says no, it is a true and honest no.
If his word is so bad and meaningless that you always have to second-guess what he means or is trying to conceal, you should know that he is not an honest and great boyfriend.
8. He Is Faithful.
This quality and characteristic should be a no-brainer, but the sad reality of present times makes it important to highlight this as an important quality of a great boyfriend.
A good boyfriend will not cheat on you. He loves and values your relationship and will not cheat on you. A boyfriend that has no qualms cheating on you is bad and wicked.
Faithfulness also applies to checking out other women and flirting openly with other women in your presence. Not only is this bad, but it also shows that he does not respect or value you.
9. He Is Emotionally Mature, Is Not Afraid Of Confrontation, And Apologizes When He Is Wrong.
A great boyfriend does not avoid confrontations when they inevitably arise. He is emotionally mature enough to understand that confrontations are inevitable in any relationship, and he handles the issues that arise with the needed emotional intelligence and maturity.
When he annoys you, he does not find it difficult to own up to what he did wrong and apologize for it. When you call him out on something he’s done wrong, he does not get all defensive and tries to justify his actions or indirectly try to blame you for them. He is emotionally intelligent and mature enough to accept his faults, apologize for them, and make the necessary changes.
10. He Builds Your Confidence And Makes You Feel Good About Yourself.
He finds ways to build your confidence and make you feel good about yourself. He does this in the way he compliments you and highlights your strengths. He does not go on about your weakness and is only interested in helping you in your quest and desire to be a better you. Whenever you are together, he tells you how great you look, how sexy you are, how well you wear your clothes and the strong qualities that attracted him to you in the first place.
If he’s always putting you down or always highlighting your weaknesses, he is a narcissist and not a great boyfriend.
11. He Makes You Laugh.
A great boyfriend loves to see his girlfriend smile. Her smile is his world and makes his day. And whatever he needs to do to see that smile and laughter, he will do it, even if it means making corny jokes sometimes. When you see that your boyfriend always goes out of his way to want to make you smile, that is one sure sign that you have a great boyfriend.
12. He Does Not Make It A Habit To Let You Pick Up The Tab.
If you are the one always paying for the bill when you both go out on a date, without any reciprocation from him, that is a sign that you have a bad boyfriend who may be out to leech off you.
A great boyfriend will never be comfortable allowing his girlfriend to always pick up the tab when they go out. Sure, you can pay for dates when you go out. But if you have to do this almost all the time, that’s one sure sign he is not a good boyfriend.
13. He Is Financially Independent.
This is a very important character trait, especially if you want to settle down with this guy and build a life with him. If he is not financially independent and almost always has to ask you for money, or he still depends on others for money, he is still a boy and not a man or serious relationship material. You should not waste your time with such a relationship, especially when he is making no effort to be financially independent. His financial dependence will weigh you down and eventually take its toll on your relationship.
14. He Is Not Abusive.
It has to be said that a boyfriend who abuses you in any way, whether physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, or otherwise, is an abuser, he is not a boyfriend. Don’t make excuses for his behavior or try to explain it away. Walk away from an abusive relationship for your safety, sanity, and peace of mind.
15. He Is Considerate And Compassionate.
A great boyfriend is very considerate and caring. When you have a problem, he does not see it as your problem, he sees it as “our problem”. This is very important. Seeing it as “our problem” means he takes ownership of the problem with you and actively works with you in trying to find ways and solutions to the problem.
16. He Does Not Try To Change You.
A great boyfriend accepts you for who you are and is not out to change you to become someone else that you are not. He is happy with the unique person that you are with all your imperfections and flaws, and he is okay with that.
A boyfriend who wants to mold you to fit an image or idea he may have of what a perfect girlfriend should be or look like is not worth your time because he will always put you down and eat away at your confidence.
Even if he is a perfectionist with himself, he is mature enough to understand that you are unique and different and he cannot always expect that you’ll do things in the same way(s) that he will do them.
17. He Respects Your Family And Friends.
This one is also very important. If he cannot respect your family members and your friends, he is not a good boyfriend. He does not need to be friends with them to respect them.
He will also not want to isolate you from your loved ones and friends and will respect them because they are an important part of your life.
18. He Is Not Overbearing And Clingy.
A boyfriend who has a life of his own and also trusts you completely will not smolder you by being overbearing and clingy. Because he has a life of his own, he does not have to depend on you to be his life. He makes out time to spend with you, but he also spends time with himself and actively pursues his interests and hobbies. And when you tell him that you need some “you time”, he is mature enough to understand that and give you your needed space. A great boyfriend gives his girlfriend some breathing space.
19. He Is Dependable.
Whenever you call on him, he’s available or at least able to proffer a helpful and useful alternative if he is unable to assist. He’s the one guy that you know you can count on even if everyone else would disappoint you. If he couldn’t be bothered about trying to help you when you need it or trying to provide helpful alternatives, he is not a good boyfriend but a rather selfish and unhelpful boyfriend.
20. He Is Affectionate And Romantic.
This doesn’t have to be any hectic PDAs (public display of affection). Small gestures like holding your hand in public, hugging you at appropriate times, and other cute and romantic gestures come naturally to a great boyfriend and sets him apart from the rest. You don’t even have to remind him to do these. Because he loves you and is proud of you, he wants the whole world to know about it and his affections and small gestures and public displays of affection are his way of showing off how proud he is to be your boyfriend.
21. He Is Protective Of You.
A protective boyfriend will defend his girlfriend whenever anyone tries to put her down, make fun of her, or say something negative about her, both in her presence and behind her back. If people are doing any of these to you in the presence of your boyfriend and he keeps quiet and says nothing, or does not try to defend you, he is not a good boyfriend.
22. He Listens To You.
When he’s with you, he is actively listening and paying attention to everything you have to say. He is not distracted and his mind is not elsewhere. He is fully engaging with everything you are saying and can remember then enough to repeat them in subsequent conversations.
23. He Is A Positive Influence On You.
24. He Supports Your Dreams, Aspirations, And Ambitions.
Given his positive influence on your life, he is also interested in you attaining your full potential. He will support your dreams, aspirations, and ambitions the best way he can, to help you attain them.
He is not trying to make you acquire a dream or ambition that isn’t your own. Part of his acceptance of who you also include accepting and supporting your dreams, aspirations, and ambitions and helping you in whatever way he can to work towards their fulfillment.
25. He Deeply And Passionately Loves You And Is Not Afraid Or Unsure Of Showing It.
When he is deeply and passionately in love with you, he loves hearing your voice and hearing from you. When two people are deeply and passionately in love, they can’t seem to get enough of each other. A good boyfriend who loves you deeply will not avoid your calls or respond to your messages at his convenience. Because he looks forward to hearing from you, he will always be excited at receiving your calls and messages.
He is not unsure of where he stands with you. Any chance he gets, he wants to show you off and show just how deeply he loves you. You can see this in two things:
He is proud to show you off to his friends.
If he loves you deeply, he’s already most likely bragged about you to his friends. Guys almost always tell their friends about the women they are crazy about. Whenever he gets the chance to introduce you to his squad, he does not even hesitate, he does it.
He will eventually show you to his family.
Once a guy takes the step of asking you to come home with him to meet his parents, it means he is very sure about how he feels about you and has no doubts that he loves you deeply and passionately. Most of the time, but not always, this is usually an indication that he sees you as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
It has to be said that this will not happen right away in your relationship. However, if you have dated for a long period and he still hasn’t done this, it is an indication that he is not completely sure how much he feels for you.
What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Does Not Have These Characteristics and Qualities? What To Do If You Have A Bad Boyfriend.
If your boyfriend does not exhibit any or all of these characteristics of a good boyfriend, take the following important 3 steps.
1. Call Him Out On Those Negative Quality Traits He Exhibits.
If he is disrespectful and undermines you in public for instance, when you are alone together, immediately call him out on it. Don’t let it slide because if you do, he will think it’s okay and that you’re okay with it, and he will continue. If he lies, and you catch him out, call him out immediately on it. Whatever negative quality trait he exhibits, call him out on it immediately and deal with it there and then.
2. Once You’ve Called Him Out On It, Watch His Actions And See If He Changes.
A boyfriend who loves and values you will not continue doing things you’ve told him you don’t like.
3. If He Doesn’t Change, Break Up With Him And End The Relationship.
This is why it is important to end the relationship if he does not change. Over time, these negative qualities will become very toxic and negatively affect your life. It will damage you emotionally, psychologically, and otherwise. And such emotional and psychological damage from toxic relationships have a long-lasting negative impact and influence on a person’s mental wellbeing.
It will certainly affect you a lot more than you know, and you will only realize this much later in life when you eventually meet the right boyfriend who ticks all these boxes of what makes a good boyfriend checklist.
No relationship is worth your emotional and mental sanity. If you are worried about being single and alone, that should not be reason enough to stay in a bad and toxic relationship. You can be single and happy. Loving and caring for yourself also means leaving a bad and toxic relationship that is harmful to you. And if you are worried that you won’t know what to do after you break up with your boyfriend, read our article on What to do after a breakup with boyfriend for very useful tips on what you can do to leave and move on.
Frequently Asked Questions.
1. What things do good boyfriends do differently?
Good boyfriends act differently from bad and destructive boyfriends. They do all the 25 remarkable things set out in this article, and that is what sets them apart from other boyfriends.
2. What does a good boyfriend do?
A good boyfriend does all the 25 remarkable things set out in this article.
3. What are some cute things boyfriends do?
There are several cute things a good boyfriend does. He can surprise you with gifts for no reason, buys your flowers for no reason, finds an excuse to always hang out, and spend time with you. (See our related article on Cute ways to surprise your girlfriend on her birthday).
4. What is a boyfriend supposed to do?
A boyfriend is supposed to do all the 25 remarkable things set out in this article. These things are the very basic and minimum required for every relationship that wants to be successful.
A great boyfriend will tick all the boxes in this article. If you want to know if he is a good boyfriend, test his actions against our “what makes a good boyfriend checklist”, and see how he fares. If he does not pass the test, take the steps we have outlined in this article so that you are happier and getting the love that you deserve.
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